Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
What would you do if you were in a marriage and felt cold to your husband and became more and more disappointed with your life?
Probably, many women will think of divorce. I feel that divorce can be over, and I can be completely liberated, and then start over and live the life I want.
But the problem is, divorce doesn't solve everything. After the divorce, you will still encounter new problems that will bother you.
In fact, by doing the following three things, even if you don't get divorced, a woman can make herself comfortable.
01
Learn to be independent and find your own focus in life
Yishu once said: "No matter what, you must have a career, so you can meet like-minded colleagues, friends, and objects, and at that time, you can get married and have children, or you can die alone, which is called choice, that is, freedom." ”
When a woman puts all her life focus on her husband and family, once she encounters indifference, the sense of loss is often unbearable.
But if we can learn to be independent, find our own interests and hobbies, and be willing to devote ourselves to a career. Then, even if our husband's attitude is chilling, we can be happy in other ways.
Xiaomei is a typical housewife, who has always revolved around her husband and children and has paid a lot.
Until one day, she found ambiguous messages with other women in her husband's mobile phone, and her heart was completely cold.
But for the sake of her children, she did not choose to divorce, but decided to start over.
She signed up for a cooking class to learn how to make beautiful dim sum. Later, she also opened a small baking studio with a friend.
Gradually, she discovers that even without her husband's attention and love, her life can still be colorful.
02
Learn to communicate and express your feelings and needs
Many times, the conflict and indifference between husband and wife are mostly caused by a lack of communication.
When a woman feels cold about her husband, she may wish to try to sit down and express her feelings and needs calmly.
As Dale Carnegie said, "Communication is the language of the highest order, a bridge to each other's hearts." ”
Xiaoxue is an introverted woman, and her husband's growing indifference makes her feel painful.
But she didn't choose to be silent, but plucked up the courage to have an in-depth exchange with her husband.
She told her husband all the painful feelings in her heart, and also clearly expressed her expectations for family and emotions.
Although the process of expression made Xiaoxue feel very difficult, the effect was good. Her husband began to understand her feelings, and the relationship between the two slowly warmed up.
Communication doesn't always work, but if we don't even want to try, how can we expect change?
03
Learn to love yourself and maintain a positive mindset
Oscar Wilde once said, "Loving oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." ”
When a woman feels cold about her husband, she should learn to love herself and maintain a positive attitude, instead of feeling sorry for herself and immersing herself in endless pain.
After all, there will always be unsatisfactory things in life, but if we can cherish ourselves and treat ourselves well, then we can find a way out even if we encounter misfortune.
Xiao Nan is an optimistic and open-minded woman, although her husband's attitude disappointed her, she never gave up her love for herself and her desire for a better life.
She insists on exercising, maintaining a healthy diet, and regularly participates in various social activities, so that every day is full and her life is becoming more and more colorful.
She said: "Life doesn't stand still because of someone's attitude, I still have a long way to go and a lot of dreams to chase." ”
Many times, when we are disappointed in our significant other, we may wish to turn our attention to ourselves.
Learning to love yourself is not only a process of self-healing, but also a way to regain the joy of life.
Marriage is a common thing for two people, but when one of us makes us feel cold, we don't have to blindly put up with it, and we don't have to go to the step of divorce.
Learn to be independent and find your own focus in life, learn to communicate and express your feelings and needs, learn to love yourself and maintain a positive attitude.
If these three things can be achieved, even if you don't get divorced, a woman can make herself comfortable.
After all, marriage is not the whole of life, and each of us has the right to pursue our own happiness and joy. When you encounter a difficult situation, you might as well think differently, and maybe the turning point is at the next intersection.
As psychologist Carl Rogers said, "Being yourself is the most important thing in life." ”
No matter what the marriage is, we should strive to be a better version of ourselves and live our lives to the fullest.
Because you must know that the happiness of life is always in your own hands.