Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
In our traditional concept, women are always expected to be gentle, virtuous, and empathetic. It seems that this is the only way to be a good wife and a good mother.
But in real married life, sometimes a woman is a little "bad", which can not only make her life more colorful, but also make the marriage relationship more harmonious and interesting.
The "bad" here does not mean bad conduct, but a kind of wisdom, a strategy, and a "small means" that can keep the marriage fresh.
Many times, a woman is a little "bad" and the marriage is more comfortable.
01
"Bad" women know how to be coquettish
It is said that "a coquettish woman is the best", in fact, in marriage, women occasionally coquettish, which can not only enhance the intimacy between husband and wife, but also resolve a lot of contradictions and frictions.
A coquettish woman can often overcome rigidity with softness at critical moments, so that her husband will be willing to pay for her, and she can also make her husband feel the satisfaction of being needed.
For example, when you want your husband to help with housework, you might as well say, "Honey, can you help me sweep the floor? I'm really tired today." ”
This tone and way of speaking is much more effective than giving orders directly to your husband, or nagging and complaining.
You will find that your husband is not only happy to do it, but also more considerate of your hard work.
As the French writer Maupassant said, "Charm, eyes, smiles, and words are the torrents that women use to drown men and conquer them." ”
Learning to be spoiled at the right time is one of the most powerful ways for a woman to train her husband.
02
"Bad" women create surprises
After a long time in marriage, it is easy to fall into a dull and boring situation.
A "bad" woman, she knows how to add "seasoning" to married life and always keep it fresh.
From time to time, they will create some small surprises, so that the relationship between husband and wife is always full of fun and freshness.
For example, prepare a romantic candlelit dinner for your husband once in a while, or give him a special gift on his birthday.
These small gestures will not only make your husband feel your love, but also keep him interested and curious about you.
As the writer Samuel Ullman said, "Time can leave wrinkles on the skin, but it cannot carve a trace on the soul." Worry, fear, and lack of self-confidence are what make people slump in the dust of time. ”
A woman who can create surprises will always make married life vibrant and enduring.
03
"Bad" women have their own circle of life
In marriage, one of the most common mistakes many women make is to rely too much on their husbands and lose their lives.
And a "bad" woman, she will know how to remain independent and have her own personal space.
They never devote all their time and energy to marriage, or the whole of their lives just revolves around their husbands, but they will keep part of their time for themselves and their friends.
Such women not only have their own life circles and hobbies, but also bring these different experiences back to their marriage and share them with their husbands.
This attitude of always being self-respecting not only makes a woman more attractive, but also makes the marriage relationship healthier and more stable.
Oscar Wilde once said, "Loving oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." ”
A woman who loves herself and has her own life can win the favor of her husband even more.
04
"Bad" women know the art of communication
In marriage, couples who can maintain smooth communication tend to have a better relationship.
A "bad" woman, she will know how to use communication to resolve conflicts and enhance relationships.
They will not use accusations and complaints to express their dissatisfaction with their husbands. Instead, they will express their needs and feelings in a gentle and consultative tone.
For example, when her husband makes her angry, she doesn't say, "Shut up, I don't want to listen to you anymore!"
Instead, he would say, "Honey, you make me feel sad about this." There is something we can discuss, and I don't want to settle it with an argument. ”
This way of communication not only expresses one's feelings, but also avoids unnecessary quarrels and conflicts.
The philosopher Aristotle said, "True communication is not just the art of speaking, but the art of listening." ”
A woman who knows the art of communication is more able to establish a deep emotional connection with her husband.
Women who are "bad" tend to be more comfortable and comfortable in marriage.
They know how to be coquettish, they know how to create surprises, they know how to be independent, and they know how to communicate well.
These little "bad" means not only make women more attractive, but also make married life more colorful.
So in marriage, you might as well be a "bad" woman to make life more comfortable and your husband to love you more.