#女性独立 ##法国留学##法国印象##国外创业##人物故事#
This is the 3,738th real story we have told
I'm Alice, a native of Zibo, Shandong Province, and I currently live in France.
In 2011, I came to France for graduate school, but I had no intention of meeting a French-Chinese, so I fell in love with him and stayed in France.
Today, I open a tavern and work as a hostess. The tavern is small, but there are many stories, and here I got to see the true face of the French.
It's like a miniature society, so why not join me and hear their stories.
(Street Photography)
I'm Alice and I was born in 1989 in Zibo, Shandong. My parents are doctors, and I grew up in the hospital as an only child, and I am well-behaved and sensible.
My parents were strict with me and valued my studies very seriously. Because they are doctors, they have never stopped learning, and they have taught me what it means to be serious and persistent, and to understand that hard work is the best way to change my destiny.
Because they care about me, they can't wait to arrange everything for me, for fear that I will suffer. This kind of excessive attention makes me a little tired.
During the college entrance examination, I scored more than 600 points and entered Shandong University of Finance and Economics. Although my alma mater is best known for its accounting, I was not interested in accounting and chose to major in English.
When I arrived at university, I suddenly felt that everything was different, I had more opportunities to make my own choices, and even the air felt much lighter.
I started to let myself go, actively participate in various school activities, learn and try more things that interest me.
The more people and things I came into contact with, the more I began to think, what kind of lifestyle would be best for me? My parents wanted me to go on to graduate school, but after graduating from graduate school, would I be able to get the life I wanted?
(When traveling in the summer)
After thinking about it for a long time, I didn't find the right answer, but I realized that I could no longer follow the path that my parents had laid out for me, and I should go out of the future on my own.
I rejected the idea of going to graduate school in China and decided to go abroad. I studied English and IELTS was not a problem for me, but it was a big problem to choose which school.
I had watched a lot of French documentaries on TV and had a good impression of this romantic country, so I decided to study there.
Since I had no foundation in French, I had to choose a major that taught entirely in English. After some research, I decided to study International Marketing at the Skema Business School in Lille.
In May 2011, I successfully received my admission letter for graduate school, and in September of the same year, I flew to Lille, France.
I thought it was a good start, but when I arrived, I found that everything was different from what I imagined. I thought I was a very adaptable person, but after I arrived in France, I encountered a lot of problems, not only could I not communicate with the locals normally, but even food and accommodation became a problem.
I was the only Chinese student in the class, and the rest of my classmates were all French, and by the end of class, there was no one to talk to. I want to chat with my friends in China, but it is difficult because of the time difference, and sometimes I inevitably feel lonely.
(Go to see the snow)
People in a foreign country, far away from the protection of their parents, when they encounter problems, they can only find a way to solve them, and if they can't do it, they go to the Chinese crowd for help, fortunately, the group friends are very enthusiastic and help me solve the problem several times.
But the language barrier will still cause a lot of trouble. Once, there was a power outage at home for some unknown reason, so I quickly contacted the landlord, but the landlord only spoke French, and we communicated for a long time before the problem was solved.
In addition to communication barriers, dietary differences are also a big problem. In order to eat well, I can only go to the supermarket to buy or order ingredients online, and cook and eat by myself. Over the past few years, cooking has soared.
While continuing my studies, I enrolled in a class to learn French. As my French language skills have improved, my study abroad life has become much smoother and I have made friends.
Unlike undergraduate studies in China, business schools pay more attention to the combination of theory and practice, especially for international marketing majors.
During the class, the teacher will cite some actual cases of enterprises, conduct a comprehensive analysis, and guide the students to give project presentations in small groups. A dissertation is required to be submitted each week, and there will be a written test and defense at the end of the semester.
In this learning mode, my logical thinking ability has greatly improved, and I was unable to keep up at first, but then I became more comfortable and gradually became interested in marketing.
(Photo with my husband)
In order to reduce the pressure at home and to exercise myself, I started to work part-time to earn pocket money, worked in a Chinese clothing store, also did a small business, sold red wine, and the income was basically enough to support my life, earning about 1,000 euros (7,200 yuan) per month.
When I was working part-time at a clothing store, I met my boyfriend D, who was also my future husband. He is the owner's cousin and occasionally comes to the shop to help.
D came to France at a very young age and has been in France for almost 20 years now. Under the influence of Chinese and French culture, he not only has the romance of the French, but also has the diligence and honesty of the Chinese.
I wasn't very good at French at the time, and sometimes when clients spoke fast, I was half a beat slower. When he saw it, he took the initiative to come over and help answer. After going back and forth, we got acquainted with each other and had contact information. Sometimes I consult him when I have difficulties in life.
(It's snowing!Go play in the snow)
He was a simple, kind, warm-hearted and attentive man, and he was willing to help even if I was just an ordinary friend of his.
Once, I wanted to go to the bank to handle international remittance business, and because I had suffered a loss due to language barriers, I wanted to find a friend to accompany me. I contacted a few female friends, but they didn't have time, so in desperation, I contacted D, and he readily agreed.
For him, it may be just a hand-out, but for me, it's a send-off.
As I came and went back and forth with him more and more, I found that we could talk very well, and his Chinese appearance made me feel familiar and familiar. He also had a crush on me at that time, and we were together.
The most beautiful love is to meet the right person at the right time, and he is the person I feel right.
In this relationship, my parents were a little worried at first, worried that I would live in France in the future, without the help of my family, and I was reluctant to marry outside, but seeing that our relationship was so good, my husband was considerate, and finally agreed.
(Photo with friends at wedding)
In 2014, not long after graduating from graduate school, we registered our marriage in France. At that moment, I felt very happy.
Falling in love is a matter of two people, while marriage is a matter of two families. Because both parties still have many relatives in China, we chose to hold two weddings in France and China, and the ceremony was held according to the Chinese wedding.
Not long after I got married, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I was pregnant, and my family was happy for me. In the summer of 2015, I gave birth to my daughter.
In order to relieve my stress, my mother flew to Lille, France to help me take care of my two-month-old child.
The birth of my child has changed me a lot, I understand what responsibility is, I also understand the various behaviors of parents in the past, and I realize how difficult it is to be a parent.
"Parents love deeply and plan for it far-reaching", looking at my young daughter, I just want to work hard to earn money and give her everything better.
As she grows up and becomes less clingy to me, I plan to start my own business. After several investigations, it was decided to open a tavern.
(Guest's message to me)
A French bistro is not just a place to drink, it is more like a combination of community convenience stores and fast food restaurants in China. Here, people can buy tobacco and alcohol, stamps, lottery tickets, tax stamps, and can also drink coffee and eat light meals.
In France, there are special formalities required to run an alcohol business. In order to save trouble, I directly took over a tavern that has been in business for many years, with all kinds of procedures complete, and the supply source and customer source are relatively stable. What needs to be purchased, you can place an order directly online, and there will be a special delivery person to deliver it to your door the next day.
Although the supply source and customer source are not worried, it is still a little hard to operate. It opens at 7 a.m. every day and is open until 8 p.m. At first, my husband and I were busy, but then the business got better and better, and we had to hire a few employees.
French and Chinese people have different behavior and thinking habits, and I don't feel it when I work with my husband, but after I come into contact with French employees, it is obviously different.
They are very direct in their words and actions, and they don't engage in wine table culture, employee survival rules, etc., and never flatter or flatter me because I am the boss. When I first got along with them, there were a lot of conflicts.
But as the relationship deepened, I gradually learned about the principles of the French people, and also knew their true temperament, and the relationship became much more harmonious.
(Group photo with a provincial governor)
French bistros are usually set up in the community, and it is inevitable that they will meet all kinds of customers, from beggars from the bottom of society, to bankrupt businessmen, multimillionaires and governors.
I was very impressed by Yann, who had a wicked face, a bald head, a few scars on the top of his head, and hollow eyes. When I saw him, I was a little scared, for fear that he would cause trouble.
Oddly enough, he ordered only a glass of strawberry milk and sat quietly in the corner. I couldn't help but secretly watch his movements, and I slowly relaxed when I saw him sit there in silence all the time.
Later, he frequented it, but each time he didn't talk much, and always sat there in silence drinking or smoking. I heard from other acquaintances that he was not like this, he was a very kind person, and it was alcohol and drugs that changed his life.
The tavern is a magical place, like a "social melting pot". Here, I came into contact with a lot of people and also saw the most authentic side of the French.
The French are not as elegant or gentlemanly as they think, they also curse, they get together to comment on current affairs, they will laugh at themselves or complain about others.
(Traveling with my husband)
They are very concerned about their own development and love to travel and enjoy. Even sixty or seventy-year-old aunts will not face the sky, they prefer to dress themselves up beautifully and decently, and they also hope to live in the way and rhythm they like.
Cathy is one such woman, she works in the bakery next door, and she has become familiar with me because she often comes to buy things.
She has been there since the bakery opened and has been there for 17 years. Not long ago, the owner of the store transferred the store, and the second owner was not good at personnel management, which caused chaos in the store, and Cathy was also very unhappy.
One day, she calmly told me that she had resigned, and I was a little shocked to hear that.
In my opinion, she is almost 50 years old and is about to retire, as long as she runs in with the new boss, she will be able to adapt quickly. But Cathy and her friends didn't seem to think so, and they were so happy to hear that she had changed jobs and threw a farewell party in my store.
Seeing them celebrating together, I suddenly realized that we should pursue spiritual freedom and prosperity more than a stable life.
(Playing in the snow with my daughter)
True satisfaction is not only career success, but also inner abundance and spiritual satisfaction. What about being 50 years old? You can choose the life you want again, and your life should not be limited.
When I realized this fact, I suddenly felt that money was not that important. Money can never be earned, and time is gone, I think it is more important to accompany my loved ones and grow myself than to make money.
I have an unhurried life now, I spend more time with my loved ones, I also like to improve myself, and I have learned to edit, write, etc. As soon as I have time, I take my daughter with my husband to travel to surrounding cities or other countries to see more scenery.
Entrepreneurship plus the pandemic, I haven't seen my parents for a long time, and I miss them very much.
In August last year, we took our daughter back to China to visit our parents. I haven't been back to my hometown for 5 years, and I really feel the speed of development in China, and my hometown Zibo has changed a lot, and it has become an Internet celebrity city.
(I'm my daughter's exclusive photographer)
Walking down the street, it feels strange and familiar. Some high-tech things that are commonplace in the country are not seen in France at all.
When you are tired of walking, you can sweep a shared electric car or bicycle and you can go to the streets and alleys of the city. When you buy something, you can directly scan the code to pay, which is really convenient and fast. In France, cash payments are still the mainstay.
After a short reunion, we reluctantly said goodbye to our parents and set off to France to start a new round of hard work.
Mr. Yang Jiang once said: "We were so eager for the waves of fate, and in the end, we found that the most beautiful scenery in life is actually the calmness and calmness of the heart." ”
Now that I have been in France for 13 years, Lille has become my second home, with my career and my family. Now, I just want to keep this calmness and live this life in peace and health.
(Welcome to follow the protagonist's account: Big girl girl beast in France)
【口述：Alice】
[Editor: Ge Yiyi]
We can't experience different lives, but we can feel different life trajectories here, every photo here is a bit @真实人物采访of life, every story is a real life, if you also like it, please click to follow!
(*This article is based on the oral statements of the parties, and the authenticity is the responsibility of the oral narrator.) Friendly reminder from this account: Please identify the relevant risks by yourself, and do not blindly follow the trend to make impulsive decisions. ）