"I am responsible for looking beautiful, and you are responsible for working hard to earn money to support your family", this classic joke has echoed in the ears of many people. However, unless you have the "aura" of the heroine of a novel, it is really not advisable to believe this statement.
Regardless of whether the man is willing or capable of supporting the family independently, the description of beauty as a flower may only be an illusion of youth and ignorance. Because youth does not last forever, it is even more difficult for ordinary people to maintain their youth and beauty.
For example, fertility is like an "aging accelerator". Today's parents should be aware that they may have heard such propaganda when they were students: women who have not experienced childbirth have a higher probability of developing cancer, however, today's netizens are not easily deceived, and although the possibility of cancer is uncertain, the damage to health is obvious.
A woman shows a contrast before and after childbirth, from a fair lady to a "big waist and a round waist" People often complain that society pays too much attention to appearance and body shape, but in fact, good looks and good figure are still considered an advantage. This seems to be even more important for women, in particular.
Changes after childbirth are often easily noticeable. As it is said in literary masterpieces, women's eyes were once as clear as water, but when they got married, they became cloudy. Just like the "class spirit" felt by part-time workers, perhaps this is the so-called "family spirit".
And for women who are married and have children, even if they want to remain innocent and cute, reality has to force them to change their appearance. It's not just a change in personality, but also a change in body shape and physical fitness, which is something that those who are unmarried and childless cannot experience.
Why is it that there are always those who say little, and who say "what kind of hypocrisy is it to have a child?" and often very few of them are already mothers? Once the threshold for childbearing is lowered, many parents bluntly say: One child has already been raised a little hard, so how can we consider having a second child?
There are still some who insist on welcoming a second baby. However, the fact that the pension may not feel too difficult does not mean that the second pension will be smooth sailing. One woman shared a before-and-after photo of her, and despite being just an ordinary person, it was clear how much of a difference had changed.
From "My Fair Lady" to "Round Waist and Big Shoulders". There is no need to justify statements such as "mother's love is the most beautiful", because who would want to change from a slender and beautiful image to such a thing when given a choice?
Why is it that the negative effects of childbirth are rarely publicized, and even elders rarely take the initiative to impart relevant knowledge? Many netizens lamented that this is not a comparison chart before and after the second child, but a comparison before and after childbirth. Because many women are already facing this kind of physical upheaval before the birth of their first child.
Moreover, whether you are beautiful or not is only a secondary issue, and more importantly, the drastic change in body shape affects not only your appearance, but also physical function and health problems.
Problems such as anterior pelvic tilt, internal organs not being able to be completely reduced, uterine prolapse, lower back pain, urine leakage when sneezing, etc., are all practical problems that many mothers are experiencing. But why are these real images so rarely widely disseminated?
Moreover, I can already foresee that whenever an article touches on this topic, there will always be people who say that it is "creating anxiety". They will say that "it is a woman's duty to have children, everyone has come over like this, don't be too sensitive".
It can only be said that these light-hearted remarks may be due to the fact that the pain has not been experienced firsthand. However, what made me think more about it was why female elders rarely took the initiative to pass on these aspects to the next generation.
They may complain that "all the money is spent on the children" or that they have made great sacrifices for the sake of the family. But there is little mention of the life changes that come with childbearing. There may be one of the following reasons.
First, they may really think that these consequences are very normal. In those days, there wasn't necessarily enough white rice for every meal, and there may not have been much else to consider. At that time, most of the men in the family were engaged in manual labor and were happy to be responsible for providing for the family.
In this family model, there is a relative balance between the hard work of men and women and the degree of physical health they contribute to the family, so there are few complaints. Nowadays, women are more actively involved in the division of labor in the workplace, and childbirth is not only physically depleting, but may also affect economic independence. If the value of procreation is underestimated, more contradictions will naturally arise.
Second, the minds of some female elders have been deeply assimilated, and they actively or unconsciously see themselves as servants of the lineage. They are aware of the impact of childbirth on their health and careers, but choose to remain silent.
They remain silent because they do not want their offspring to resist childbearing, fearing that they will be "slighted" by their relatives. In order to prove that they and their offspring are "ordinary people" like everyone else, they need their children to complete the considered normal step of marriage and childbearing.
In this way, they feel that they have "completed their task" and are worthy of their grandparents, and at the same time, they can avoid the pressure of "educational failure". As for whether their children will be happy in the future and how much pressure they will bear, they can use "children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren" to avoid these problems.
Adequate support will determine the effectiveness of fertility promotion. In many families, the question of marriage and whether to have a second or third child has been controversial. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to urge marriage and childbearing, but the key is whether it's out of "genuine love for children" or a lack of responsible vanity.
The simple truth is that only those who are truly capable of providing support are qualified to rush. However, for most of us in the average family, the opposite may be true. The old man's love for children may only be because he likes to tease, not because he likes to raise them.
Of course, this is not the responsibility of the elderly;