When it comes to North American dating culture, everyone thinks of various dating apps, such as Tinder, Badoo, Bumble, Hinge, and even some Chinese users will download Soul, Tantan and other dating apps. Of course, dating culture in North America is not linked to dating apps, before the era of a mobile phone, people can know the opposite sex through bars, game games, cafes, campus libraries and other ways, and the "nucleus" of dating culture is unchanged.
Why bother?
First of all, compared with the popular "men chasing women" in China, young people who have grown up "edified" by Western culture do not have such a concept. Boys can be "gentlemen" in certain cultures - doing things that are socially conventional, such as opening doors for people, driving people home, arriving early before dates, and obediently standing still until girls don't take the initiative to make physical movements.
However, the so-called "pursuit" action is not necessary, love is originally a matter of mutual affection, compared to the plot of "intoxicated" in the Korean drama in which the male protagonist overcomes obstacles and finally wins the heart of the female protagonist, men and women are more willing to discuss their feelings for each other, expectations and demands for the relationship directly after dating.
See several at the same time?
Second, when it comes to the appeal for a relationship, it is necessary to talk about the process by which a North American man and woman enter a relationship. Compared with Chinese couples who "confirm the relationship first" and then fall in love further, the culture in North America is to stretch the "love line" for a long time. Here, the conventions are to hang out (hang out as friends), see each other (meet steadily for a certain period of time), dating (to go on further dates for the purpose of entering a relationship, to get to know each other better), exclusively (both parties are each other's only dates), and relationship (romantic relationship).
The biggest difference between this process and the domestic culture is the treatment of commitment. You could argue that people who grew up in Western culture didn't pay attention to commitment. To take an extreme example, some people who are more open to physical perception may have sex after the first few faces, but the two are still "not responsible for each other's relationship"; if the same situation is replaced by Chinese, the chat history will be hung on the hot search every minute to force the other party to "social death".
Thinking about it from another angle, if two people slowly understand each other when they reach a consensus, find the most suitable person and finally determine the relationship, as a result of careful consideration, is such a commitment more "precious" and "long-lasting"? After all, we all know that if the promise blurted out for the sake of being together is likely to be just a "means to an end", and the passive party is likely to be kept in the dark, what is the use of such a promise?
Respect! Respect!
Third, it must be mentioned that the core logic behind Western dating culture is "respect". As someone else's date, you should respect each other's wishes, expectations and ideas, and more importantly, respect each other's life path... Especially for Chinese girls who are more jealous (only representing myself), in the process of trying Western dating culture, I can even listen to each other's "past love history" calmly and appreciatively with boys, learn from each other's love experience, so as to better understand this person's three views.
And as yourself, this is also the most important point, you must focus on your own feelings. In China, there is a popular saying that "love without the purpose of marriage is a hooligan". The content in this sentence does not seem to conform to Western love culture, but in fact, the core is consistent.
What seems to be inconsistent is that here, young people's love intentions are usually the so-called "short choices". If you like it, you will continue to understand, and if you find that the two are not suitable, you will break it as soon as possible, and promise to follow up very late. The essence of the so-called "long-term choice" is the exchange of interests, and the desire for the outcome of the marriage is utilitarian because of the conditions of the other party.
In fact, Western dating culture places great emphasis on honest communication, and if you are really looking for a serious relationship, the end result is to choose the right person and be together, but the process is more cautious. If the goal of the two is marriage, then it is a kind of honesty and romance to try from scratch and start to understand each other's feelings about their children and what kind of parents they want to be from the time of dating.
About AA
The boy here usually asks for a treat the first time, especially if he believes that he will meet again the second time, but the girl usually offers to share the account, and if the woman insists, then AA is fine.
The boys generally have an expectation in their hearts to take the initiative to invite, and the key is to see what the girls think. As a girl, I would prefer to be AA. First of all, everyone is young, they all earn money but not much, and it is normal to come out to play and share the account, and secondly, because they spend their own money, they think more carefully about who they spend with and what they do.
About the body
People often think that foreigners are more open-minded, but in fact, I was exposed to a lot of different values. Everyone's history and upbringing are different, and even some people have religious beliefs and have different tolerance for risk.
If you go "pure love style", you can also find a suitable partner here. The most important thing is for both sides to make their ideas clear. I once met a religious "innocent little boy", before holding hands and hugging, he also shared a piece of his own experience, saying that he once hurt a girl, because there was a more intimate behavior (such as hugging or something), after feeling inappropriate, he separated, hurt the girl, and felt very self-blamed. So I hope that before I have physical contact, I can be sure that if I don't go on in the future, I won't regret it.
I think it's lovely to have such a youthful and long-winded "disclaimer" when holding a hand, but at the same time, I realize the importance of communication.
About the three views
The people I'm dating here are all Chinese guys, and they talk in English. I found that the children who grew up here were completely different.
As far as choosing a major is concerned, they have more ideas about it than everything is oriented to "making money".
I used to ride a bicycle with a Chinese boy, and he went to England to study physical education. Influenced by his parents (both teachers were teachers) from an early age, he felt that education was a rewarding career, and even if he didn't earn much in Vancouver, it didn't affect his passion. When he sits in a restaurant and eats, he also interacts with the children at the front table, as if he is back at school.
Another boy, who was lying on a picnic mat with me looking at the stars, pointed to the brightest stars in the sky and said that his dream was to buy a house on his own, from an apartment to a city house, and that he wanted to start his own company, although he felt it would be a long time before it came true. "It's far away, but if you look up, you can see them, like stars," he said.
Not only the date, but also the stories of children who grew up here from friends. A Chinese girl of the same age as me didn't like her current career path as an engineer and had her heart set on medicine. So, she woke up at 5:30 every day to study for the MCAT (medical school) exam while juggling a full-time job. In the end, because she was not accepted because of one or two points, and after trial and careful consideration, she decided to continue working in engineering, but in a different company.
The overall feeling is that the Chinese children who grew up here are more down-to-earth, peaceful, and have a more complete and healthy personality.
I don't know why, Canada seems to have a kind of magic, and after coming to Canada for a long time, people are also much happier. From my own experience, leaving the familiar environment, guarding the blue sky and white clouds every day, the hot temper is gone, and I am refreshed all day long. About dating... Perhaps, everyone I met this summer was a passerby, but it was really a life that I had never experienced before.