Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
In an intimate relationship, we often encounter such a situation: because of some misunderstanding or contradiction, we are suddenly blocked or deleted by the other party.
Or, I don't know what's going on, but when I contact the other party, I find that I have already been blocked by the other party, or it has been deleted.
In the face of such a situation, the feeling of loss or sadness often rushes to the face. At this time, I can't help but feel that the other party is too ruthless, how can he be so ruthless?
So in the relationship, is it more ruthless to block or delete it?
01
Let's talk about blocking.
Blocking someone means that you don't want to receive any more messages from the other party, but at the same time, you keep a chat history with the other person, and it seems that there is still a little room for maneuver in your heart.
When making the decision to block someone, it is often when you are emotionally excited, or when your feelings are hit, you don't want to see anything about the other party, and there is a kind of "out of sight is clean" decision.
However, blocking does not mean that you will completely cut off contact, it is more like a temporary escape, giving yourself and the other party a calm space.
is like many girls, when they have an awkward quarrel or quarrel with their boyfriend, they will block each other in a fit of anger.
But when I really calm down, I will remember that my boyfriend is good to me, and I will start to miss the sweet time when the two of them are together, and then quietly release my boyfriend from the blacklist.
This is actually the subtlety of blackmailing, it is like a door that can be opened or closed at any time, allowing people to hover between impulsiveness and reason, which can both relieve anger and sometimes dissipate anger.
02
Next, let's talk about deletion.
Deleting a person often means that you not only want to cut off contact with him, but also want to erase all traces related to him, and never want to have any intersection.
This approach is usually more decisive and a deliberate choice.
Because, when we delete a person, the chat history with him will also disappear. It's like drawing a dividing line in my heart, starting a new life from now on, and no longer having any ties with the past.
For example, in a relationship, awkward situations often occur. As mentioned earlier, we may block someone when we are angry, and when the other person apologizes or we are not angry, we will pull the other person back.
But if they are completely disappointed in this relationship, even if the other party apologizes and does not want to look back, many people will choose to end it completely, delete everything about the other party, and no longer have any entanglements.
This is a relief and a rebirth for those who are deleted. Delete, in fact, is a more complete goodbye, and it is also a categorical rejection of the past.
03
So, which is more ruthless, blocking or deleting?
There is no one set answer, as everyone deals with emotions differently.
Some people may be more inclined to block to leave some leeway for themselves and the other person, while others will choose to delete as a way to show their determination to let go completely.
As Shakespeare said, "Lovers after a breakup either become strangers, or they cannot be friends because they were once deeply in love." ”
Blocking and deletion, to a certain extent, are the best confirmation of this sentence.
Blocking is a temporary avoidance, while deletion is a permanent goodbye. Both represent a certain degree of ruthlessness, but in different degrees and ways.
Love is a confrontation of feelings, and there is no absolute right or wrong. Blocking and deletion are just two episodes in this confrontation.
It is important that we learn to find our own balance in the ups and downs of our feelings, neither ignoring our own feelings nor easily hurting others.
Whether you choose to block or delete, remember one thing: feelings are not a game, and every decision should be the result of careful consideration.
Because in this world, there are not many people who are really worthy of your cherishment, and when you meet them, you must cherish them, don't give up easily, and don't make decisions that you regret.
Of course, whether it is blocked or deleted, it is actually just a superficial behavior, and the real letting go is a relief in the heart.
As Zhang Ailing said: "Forgetting a person is not to stop remembering, but to think about it occasionally, but there are no more waves in my heart." "So, whether you can let go or not depends not on what you do, but on your heart.
As for the question of "which is more ruthless, blocking or deleting", perhaps only you can give the most accurate answer.
Because everyone's heart is a unique castle, and only the owner of the castle can decide when to open and when to close. And love is the key that opens or closes the castle.
I hope everyone can find that key that belongs to them and open the door to happiness.