Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
When it comes to marriage, the topic of money is always inseparable. Some people may feel that it is too vulgar to talk about money, and that marriage should be a harbor of love, how can it be tainted by money?
But in fact, every bit of married life is inseparable from the support of money. As soon as we open our eyes every day, we may need to spend money on everything except that the air is free.
In fact, many times, a happy marriage requires knowing how to spend a man's money.
01
This may be a bit of a "iconoclastic" point of view, but don't rush to refute it just yet, let me take my time.
The "spending men's money" here does not mean spending a lot of money without restraint, nor does it mean relying on men to support them.
Rather, I want to tell you that in our marriage, women must learn to spend money, be good at spending money, and know how to spend men's money.
In fact, from a psychological point of view, "spending a man's money" is actually a sign of trust and intimacy.
When a man is willing to spend money for a woman, it means that the woman is important in his heart. He is willing to pay for this woman and is willing to take on the responsibility of providing for his family.
From a woman's point of view, she accepts this contribution from men, and plans the family's expenses, spending every penny on the cutting edge.
Then, men can feel that their efforts are cherished and respected by women. A positive feedback can be formed between two people, one is more willing to give, and the other is more willing to cherish.
With giving and cherishing, the relationship between the husband and wife will naturally be closer.
02
In marriage, knowing how to "spend men's money" is actually a kind of wisdom for women.
In the marriage model, most of our families still follow the pattern of "the man is the outside, the woman is the inside", and the money in the family is usually controlled by the woman.
As we often say, "Men are responsible for earning money to support their families, and women are responsible for being beautiful like flowers." ”
Of course, as a wife, we are not only responsible for being beautiful like a flower, but also taking care of the house. Men put the money they earn in your hands, how to spend it, how to live a better quality marriage, this requires women's wisdom.
When a woman knows how to spend a man's money, and every penny she spends makes the man feel that she is wise and can improve the happiness of her marriage, then it can inspire a man to have more sense of responsibility.
At this time, he will work harder to create more wealth for his family. Moreover, he will also cherish his relationship with a woman even more, because this relationship cannot be measured by money.
It's like the words that men promise to women: I support you. For this promise, men are willing to fight. In his heart, he wants to give women the best life, and he wants to spend all the money he earns on women.
Of course, all this is premised on him feeling that it is worth it. On the one hand, a woman knows how to be grateful and knows how hard he works to make money. On the other hand, it is women who know how to spend money and exchange money for more happy experiences in marriage.
03
Spending men's money, for women, is not to completely rely on men to live.
Even if a man gives you all the money, even if he willingly lets you spend it as you please. But a woman still has to be independent in marriage, and you have to have your own job and source of income.
It's not a question of how much money you make, it's about being independent and making you more attractive.
Countless cases in real life tell us that when a woman is completely dependent on a man to live, she is like a canary in a cage, losing herself and finding her sense of worth.
At this time, you will suffer from gains and losses, and you are afraid that you will not be able to live without this man. Or you will take it for granted that a man should spend it on you if he earns money, but this mentality is often disgusted by men.
Therefore, we must know how to spend men's money, but at the same time, you must also have the ability to buy your own flowers and wear.
As the ancients said: "A gentleman loves money, takes it in a proper way, and uses it in moderation." ”
In marriage, a woman's spending a man's money is a kind of happiness, a sense of security, and a manifestation of a man's love.
But women should learn how to "spend men's money" reasonably, so that money can become a bond to enhance the relationship between husband and wife, rather than the fuse of contradictions. Such a marriage can be happier and longer.