Since the death of his wife three years ago, Uncle Zhang is like a ship that has lost its sailing direction, and loneliness is like a tide, surrounding him tightly.
He longs for someone to be by his side, to share the bits and pieces of life, and to experience the warmth and intimacy of married life again.
"I really want to have a company, even if it's just to talk. Uncle Zhang thought silently, but he was afraid that the children would not understand, and felt that this was the "non-dividing thought" of the elderly.
Uncle Zhang looked at the pairs of old people around him, and couldn't help but feel a trace of envy in his heart: "Why can't I find happiness again when others can?"
When we enter old age, are we going to say goodbye to married life completely? In fact, the answer behind it is not as we imagined.
1. Can the elderly still have a married life?
Older people's sex life does not disappear completely with age, as is traditionally believed.
Research shows that in China, about 53% of the elderly aged 55-61 have at least one sex per month, and 39% can reach 3 times a month. Relevant foreign studies also show that a considerable proportion of the elderly maintain a regular sex life.
Although a person's sexual function may gradually decline as they age, this does not mean that the elderly have completely lost the need for sex. In fact, modern sexual medicine has confirmed that people do not lose interest in sex in old age, both physically and psychologically. The sex life of the elderly is more reflected in the communication of emotions and the maintenance of intimate relationships.
Why do older people talk about sexual perversion and feel difficult to talk about their physiological needs?
Influenced by the traditional concepts of the mainland and public opinion, many people believe that the elderly should not live a married life. These societal prejudices make older people an obstacle in their quest for sexual gratification, and older adults avoid confronting their sexual needs for fear of what their partners, children, or others will think.
In addition, some elderly people (even those with higher education) have a lack of sexual knowledge. They face sexual problems that come with age, such as vaginal dryness, painful intercourse, or lack of pleasure, but due to a lack of adequate knowledge, they may feel helpless and don't know how to deal with them. Some people may be too embarrassed to seek medical advice and choose not to have sex.
It turns out that the libido of the elderly has always existed, but it has been ignored and even suppressed for a long time.
2. Rising AIDS in old age: a neglected need
You know what? A lot of people think that AIDS is a "disease of young people" and has nothing to do with the elderly.
In fact, the proportion of elderly people living with AIDS is increasing year by year. According to the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS), nearly 4.2 million people living with AIDS worldwide in 2014 were elderly.
According to statistics, the number of HIV infections aged 50 and above in mainland China has increased from 32,850 in 2015 to 51,856 in 2022.
There are actually quite a few cases of AIDS in the elderly:
A 50-year-old female nanny struggled to confess the truth to her doctor after testing positive for HIV. It turned out that she had had regular sexual encounters with three elderly people who lived alone before, and the relationship had been going on for some time.
In Yiwu, there is also a 91-year-old lady who feels lonely because she has been widowed for many years. Out of sympathy, she took in three homeless men and vaguely agreed to the sexual requests of several 60-year-olds. Unfortunately, this experience eventually led to her developing AIDS.
It can be found that the truth that the elderly are susceptible to HIV infection is not complicated, and the essence lies in the "lack of care and neglect of the physiological needs of the elderly". This "sexual shame" mentality not only makes older people miss out on treatment, but also can spread the disease to more people of the same age, creating a vicious circle of HIV prevention.
Therefore, the family companionship of children and the popularization of correct knowledge of sexual life have become the key to preventing HIV/AIDS among the elderly.
3. Husband and wife live moderately, and the body and mind may be able to reap three benefits
Many people always wear "colored glasses" for the normal physiological needs of the elderly, in fact, married life has many benefits for the body and mind of the elderly.
1. Promote good health
Sex is a full-body exercise that strengthens the heart and lungs, promotes blood circulation, and helps maintain a healthy weight and physical vitality. For older men, regular sex can help maintain good function of the prostate gland and reduce the occurrence of prostate disease.
2. Improve mental health
Sex is good for the mental health of the elderly. An article published in the Chinese Journal of Sexual Sciences selected 367 middle-aged and elderly people aged 40~70 to conduct a sample survey to analyze their sexual life, depression and anxiety, and found that the occurrence of anxiety and depression in middle-aged and elderly people was related to low-frequency sexual life or low-quality sexual life.
3. Delay aging
Proper sex life helps to release hormones, delay the aging of the body, and keep the elderly young at heart. According to a joint study by scientists from Coventry University and the University of Oxford, frequent sex is significantly associated with improved brain function in the elderly.
It can be seen that we should face up to the physiological needs of the elderly and respect their choices.
Fourth, the elderly can also enjoy the life of husband and wife, and it is safer to do 5 points
Older people still have the right to marital life, but for the sake of their health, they should pay attention to the following:
Viable health conditions: Older adults should make sure they are in a health condition to do so before engaging in sexual activity. If you have a chronic medical condition, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, etc., you should follow your doctor's advice and avoid overwork or behaviors that may trigger health problems.
Moderate frequency: The frequency of sexual life should be appropriately adjusted according to the individual's physical strength and endurance, and the frequency should not be too high.
Mild intensity: Professor Zhou Shaohu, director of the Department of Reproductive Medicine of the First Affiliated Hospital of Guangzhou University of Chinese Medicine, reminded that the elderly should have a different sexual life from young people due to the decline in physical function. Due to the slow start-up of the elderly, the refractory period will be longer than that of young people, so longer physical contact and touching are more necessary for the elderly and can make both parties achieve psychological pleasure.
Proper hygiene: Hygiene of intimate areas before and after sex should be taken to reduce the risk of infection.
Safety measures: Even though older people may no longer be worried about pregnancy, appropriate protective measures are still needed to prevent sexually transmitted diseases.
Conjugal life for older persons is an important part of their quality of life, and older persons can also enjoy a healthy and enjoyable sex life, which should be given due attention and respect.
Resources:
[1] "The Rapid Rise in the Number of Infected Cases, Mainly Sexually Transmitted: The Current Situation of AIDS in the Elderly in Mainland China", Ding Xiang Doctor.2023-12-01
[2] "Why is the number of AIDS infections increasing among the elderly?These two truths tell the truth about the elderly with AIDS", HealthCircle.2023-06-30
[3] ""The Elderly Do Not Deserve to Have Sex", Tencent Medical Dictionary, 2020-07-23
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