When a kindergarten child keeps crying and making a parent agree to an unreasonable request, as a parent, this is a great opportunity to seize it and don't miss it!
On the road of parenting, I encountered a lot of headaches and unreasonable demands from my children. At first, I was irritated because I didn't know how to answer, and I didn't respond to my child's requests or answer my child's questions in a way that distracted my child's attention. But the next time they meet, the child will still ask and ask for the same. This made me know that on the road of parenting, escaping and avoiding will not work. So how to deal with such a problem?
My coping formula: first read the child's needs + answer the child's questions positively + ask for the child's opinion
When the child is 3/4 years old, he suddenly starts to cling to his father. For no other reason, the father will meet the child's requirements within a certain range.
Children cry when they go to kindergarten, and my cub is no exception. One day, my father sent him to kindergarten, and when I picked him up, he happily told me: "I didn't cry today", "I was obedient today", "I had a good meal today", "I took a nap today", I was quite happy at that time, and I felt that the child had adapted to kindergarten.
Then the child asked me to call and tell my dad about it.
After the call, I understood why my child was so excited to tell me this, because when my father gave him a drop-off, he promised him to buy him toys in the evening when he behaved well in kindergarten.
After that, the child will be picked up by his father. But Dad has to go to work, once in a while, it's okay, if it's a bit difficult to pick up every day. So the child grasped the "trick", it is okay if the father does not pick him up, but he has to buy him toys.
Of course, Dad doesn't buy him toys every day, and the child knows it, but every day after school, he will call Dad and ask when he will come back.
Read your child's needs: they want toys
This is an incident provoked by the father, who uses toys to "lure" the child to kindergarten. This method really made Dad suffer a little.
Answer your child's questions positively: We made an agreement with your child. I bought a point card, and my child can get points for developing good habits, going to kindergarten, and doing their own things. If you stick to it every day, you can reach 100 points in a week. If you get 100 points, you can change toys.
Ask for your child's opinion: play has different sizes, different qualities, different functions, and different values, which involves buying budgets. If the child's choice of toys is higher than the budget, and the parents do not agree, it will definitely cause the child to cry and feel that what adults say does not count. So, ugly words ahead. If it is higher than the budget, should I change the toy within the budget, or should I give the money to the child in the piggy bank and buy it when the money is enough?
When the child knows that he can't ask for toys when he calls his father, but he can exchange them for toys if he gets points, he will focus on how to get points.
This is within the scope of what parents can accept, and it is also a coping method that has been summed up after several times of "continuous running-in" with the child.
There are still many unacceptable requests from parents, how to deal with them?
For example, the child who goes to kindergarten sees that his father and I have mobile phones, and asks us to buy them mobile phones. Can I buy it for my child? No, I also told my child that I can lend it to you, but it's not yours, it's mine, how to use it, when to use it, what to use it for, how long to use it, you have to ask me first, I allow you to use it. If we don't keep our agreement, I'll take back his right to use his phone.
At first, I was worried that my child wouldn't understand. But in fact, kindergarten children can understand. If you don't understand, cry a few times, and see the attitude of adults, you will understand. This process really tests the patience and perseverance of parents, but don't give up, hold on.
Don't look at the children who are small, the hearts and eyes are all fought out with the daily life of adults. What parents have to do is to have principles and bottom lines in family education, and although they love their children, they must also be firm in their own principles and bottom lines.
I am a mother, sharing parenting experience and working with everyone to walk the road of parenting.