Narrator/Xiao Kangan
"Brother Kang An, I am willing to be good with you for the rest of my life, and we all have to be good...... When I graduate, you will go to my house to propose. ”
I sat alone on the Loess Plateau, letting the wind and sand blow on my face, thinking about the letter Xueping wrote to me over and over again, tears involuntarily flowing down my cheeks.
When I received the letter two years ago, I was so excited, how excited. It's a scene that I have repeated countless times in my dreams.
I didn't even close my eyes all night, and from time to time I twisted my arm with my hand, and it hurt so much that my mouth made a "silky" sound, but I was even happier. Because I know that pain means reality, it's real.
But now, I know it's time to wake up.
My name is Xiao Kangan, born in 1960. He is a native of northern Shaanxi. My family has been farmers for generations, and they face the loess all day long.
My parents gave birth to three of us, I am the second in the family, there is an older sister who is 7 years older than me, and a younger brother who is 2 years younger than me.
My mother is from Shanxi, because she was poor, she fled here, met her father, and was moved by her father's kindness, so she stayed.
Since childhood, our family has been very poor, my grandmother has been paralyzed in bed all the year round, and the family of six has relied on the hard work of my father and mother in exchange for work, and we can't eat enough at all.
At that time, my least favorite season was winter, mainly because it was too hard to endure without food or clothing.
Because we had to go to school very early, my mother prepared breakfast for us at dawn, saying that it was breakfast, but in fact it was a bowl of corn cereal per person, and my mother said that this was the warmest to drink.
I can't eat enough at all, and every time at this time, there is a little girl outside the yard, holding hot steamed steamed buns in her hand, waiting for me.
She is Xue Ping.
Xueping's father was a railroad worker, and she grew up in a well-to-do family.
In that era when her peers generally lacked food and clothing, Xueping lived a carefree life, she didn't have to worry about her livelihood, and she didn't know what it was like to be hungry.
She only knew how to be kind to me: she knew that I couldn't eat enough for breakfast, so she secretly brought bread out of the house every day for me to eat on the way to school, and when she saw that my hands were cold, she took off her gloves and put them on for me.
Xueping often comes to my house to play, Xueping and I have played with bare buttocks since childhood, and the time of childhood flies by, we care about each other and are full of joy.
But the joy was short-lived. Every time I had to pay the tuition, I saw my father sitting in the courtyard worrying and not saying a word.
So I stopped studying after elementary school and started to help the family, and Xueping transferred to the county junior high school at this time. Since then, the distance between the two of us has widened.
After Xueping went to high school, she came back to visit me every week, and even came to visit my grandmother at home, who always regarded her as her future granddaughter-in-law, and every now and then, Xueping always smiled.
We went to the fields together, sat on the yellow earth together, talked about our hearts, and imagined the future together.
One weekend in her junior year of high school, when she saw me, she shyly stuffed me with a letter saying to let me go home and open it again. The letter said what she had always wanted to say to me: "Brother Kang An, I am willing to be good with you for the rest of my life, we all have to be good, and when I graduate, you will go to my house to propose marriage." ”
I burst into tears, and that's exactly what I wanted to say. I patiently waited for the day when Xue Ping graduated.
Xueping's life was smooth sailing, she was successfully admitted to the normal school, and after graduation, she was assigned to teach in a primary school in our city. I was happy for her in my heart, and at the same time, facing Xue Ping again, I felt more polite and a sense of gap.
Because all these years, I have been dealing with loess. I was working the farm, thinking about how to earn more work. How can I make my family less poor.
Xueping has been waiting for me, waiting for me to go to her house to propose.
I plucked up the courage to tell my mother all this, hoping for her support. But my mother's words woke me up completely.
The mother said: "Son, you know how much my mother likes Xueping, but we are no longer from the same world as her, she is like the phoenix that is high above, and you are a grizzled chicken." Indeed, I know that this is cruel to you, but have you ever thought about whether you will go to live in the city or Xueping will come back to live in the village with you?"
I know it's impossible. I like an impossible person, I am not qualified to go further, I am reluctant to take a step back, I can't move forward or backward.
Xue Ping didn't wait for my reply.
Just when I was hesitating, the village party secretary gave out candy in the village, saying that Xueping and a boy with good conditions in the city were going to get engaged, and I felt a faint pain in my heart when I heard it.
Xue Ping hurriedly came back to explain to me that it was her father's wishful thinking, and she was unwilling to do so.
I know that Xueping is not this kind of person, but I want to fulfill Xueping, and now there is a person with such good conditions, and I am also gratified. Since we are no longer all the way, then I want her to be happy in the best.
I made a decision from this, I told Xueping: "I'm getting married, and the matchmaker introduced a matchmaker, who is the right person, virtuous and capable." ”
Xue Ping ran away crying. I stayed where I was, I couldn't bear to hurt Xueping but had to give up.
The love of childhood sweethearts is desirable, and the friendship between the two is unforgettable. I thought I was lucky to have the bright light of my life, but eventually I woke up from a dream.
I thought that since the words were spoken, I would ask my mother to find me a partner and let Xue Ping die.
My mother asked her family to introduce me to a partner the next day, who was from a neighboring village, and the family was also a farmer, and he was a good worker.
We got married a few months later. My mother was very happy and happy for me to figure it out.
The wife is indeed a good girl who is hard-working and hard-working, she knows that her family is poor, and she doesn't even ask for a bride price. As soon as I arrived at home, I was busy before and after, I didn't see anything outside, I was skillful in doing things, I cleaned up the house spotlessly, and I didn't dislike the tattered situation at home. The mother was very pleased to marry such a good daughter-in-law.
With the help of my wife, there is an extra helper at home, and I don't have to worry about it both inside and outside the house. She said: "You can work outside with confidence, and I will take care of everything at home." ”
My wife followed me to live a poor life in the morning and at night, and she never complained at all, but helped me take care of everything in the house. It took half of the pressure off me.
When I was accompanied by my wife, I was very down-to-earth.
And Xue Ping slowly accepted the object in the city, and the two got married, and their lives have always been very rich.
After the package production arrived, our family's life is getting better and better, I also learned the carpenter's trade, I can take on some work to subsidize the family, the family has an extra income, and the life is getting better and better.
Until now, my wife and I have always had a stable relationship, respecting each other like guests.
Now that my mother has entered her old age, her body is very inconvenient, and her wife takes care of her. Every day, I pushed my mother out for a walk, and when there was no elevator, my wife carried my mother down the stairs and took the wheelchair off.
When my mother got older, she couldn't sleep at night. In order to let her mother sleep well every night, the wife will massage her mother all over her body before going to bed, then soak her mother's feet, and then make her a glass of milk and chat with her mother.
The mother was very satisfied with this daughter-in-law, and praised herself for being blessed to get such a good daughter. Saying that my original choice was right, people can only find a lifelong partner on their own terms.
Now my wife and I have gone through 40 years of ups and downs, she has given birth to children for me, done housework for me, took care of my mother, and took care of my younger siblings.
Thank her for everything she has silently dedicated to her family over the years, thank us for our mutual affection along the way, and thank her for taking care of her mother as if she were her own biological mother.