What can be done to maximize the effectiveness of "encouraging education"?

Written on the front:

In the first volume of the fifth grade textbook of the unified edition of Chinese, there is an article ""Wonderful" and "Terrible", in which a seven- or eight-year-old child writes a poem, and his mother evaluates it as "wonderful" and his father evaluates it as "terrible".

Outside of teaching, I got into thinking.

In daily life, the mother's evaluation in the text is often doting, and the father's evaluation is often a typical example of repressive education.

That's not the way I want it to. The kind of encouragement education I aspire to is based on reason, giving children to see and enabling them to recognize themselves.

What can be done to make children grow better?

 Friday

point of view 

The full text has a total of 3529 words, and the reading time is 9 minutes

1. Repressive education is rampant,

Leads to self-denial in children

In normal classes, there are few students who are willing to answer some questions every time. It's not that they don't know how to answer, but they are afraid of being criticized for saying the wrong thing. If it weren't for the negative reviews that are often received, this would not be the case.

"Nothing" is the mantra of the students. Behind this, you can feel a hint of banter, some self-mockery, and a faint taste of "spiritual victory".

There are two reasons for this:

First, parents are afraid of losing authority in front of their children.

For example, when a child asks a parent some questions, once the question cannot be answered, the parents are not willing to admit it, but out of the sake of face, they will ask the child what is the use of these questions, but how to improve their grades.

So what's better?

For example, a child asks a parent why people cry when they cry. Parents may be confused for a moment when they see this question, but they don't need to panic, they can admit it directly, and encourage their children to search for the answer together.

After a search, you will find that there is no exact explanation for the problem, and at this point you can tell your child that a good question has been asked and a blank spot has been found in the study. In this way, the child will find that it is more important to ask a question than to solve a problem. The whimsy that children often have will not fade away as they grow.

Every child has a wonderful idea, let us nurture these smart imaginations.

Second, parents often compare their children with others.

When rolls become the characteristics of the times, children often receive peer pressure from "other people's children".

Where there are people, there are rivers and lakes, and where there are people, there will be comparisons.

But adults will want to choose to lie flat in the endless volume, let alone children?

If you face more, the child will fall into self-denial.

When parents compare "other people's children", it is not to let their children see their own strengths, but to make them aware of their own shortcomings.

There are such cases around. Year 1 children are already very studious and are able to find learning materials on their own. Perhaps because he was afraid of the child's pride, the elders told him that you can't just stare at the fourth grader, this is not enough, you should compare with the high school students.

The growth time of each stage can be shortened, but the stages cannot be crossed. In these bizarre-sounding comparisons, the child can only think of escaping.

So what's better?

I have seen such words once - I hope that every parent will be able to accept the mediocrity of their children most of the time and the occasional brilliance.

I think so. Every child is a unique angel.

No need to contrast, you are the only one.

If you really want to compare, please let your child compare with his previous self, see his child's growth, and give encouragement and affirmation.

The following is how I encourage my children in my daily practice.

2. Timely discovery and encouragement,

Promote self-affirmation in children

A few years ago, there was a girl in the class who usually didn't talk much and had some autistic tendencies.

I know that while I want to encourage, I can't boast about it. If it is exaggerated, it will go to the opposite of repressive education. Therefore, I decided to start with her hobbies and choose the right opportunity to give her recognition.

She loves to draw so much.

In order to explain the comic composition, I found another comic.

I asked her to help draw caricatures on the blackboard, and she willed. I expressed my affirmation in a timely manner and asked the students to express their gratitude for her efforts.

On Children's Day, I gave her a sketchbook and a paintbrush on the occasion of the holiday, hoping that she would continue to paint.

Later, when she was about to graduate from the fifth grade, she wrote letters and made handmade ornaments for me.

I believe that what she does has had a positive impact on her, and that she will gradually discover her value in painting.

In a recent lesson, there was a girl in the class who failed the language. I could clearly feel her efforts, and a little bit of struggle.

She is usually able to post reading videos outside of class every day, so I took this as an opportunity to give her a small metal bookmark at the end of last semester. And explained in the class that it was because she not only read on time every day, but also was very serious.

Praise the child should be openly praised, and the child should be greatly affirmed.

Because of my small actions, even during the Chinese New Year, she still reads every day. This semester, I directly asked her to help me set up a daily study task.

She went from reading by herself to being able to lead the whole class to read together, and I saw her progress.

Sometimes I have to sigh that what children lack is just a little affirmation. The sense of accomplishment she gradually generated in reading was transferred to the rest of her studies, and she slowly entered a virtuous circle.

Her grades have gone from failing last semester to being close to excellent this semester.

This shows that what I did was working.

Back in the last semester, I used to say that she would pass sooner or later.

Actually, I still underestimated her, and she improved beyond my expectations.

There was another girl in the class who had difficulty writing her homework, and she had tried a lot of ways to do it without any effect.

Recently I have made some improvements in teaching:

Have each student take charge of a learning block and supervise the other students.

This unintentional measure made her start to take the initiative to study, because she wanted to urge other classmates.

I sensitively captured this and told her that it was a surprise to see her take the initiative to learn compared to before. However, I still hope that she will take this as a base point and not only be responsible for her own learning section, but also be able to slowly extend to the rest of the section.

In addition, there are students in the class who are not very neat in their handwriting. I suggested that he write slower and see if he could get a little better. The next day, when he brought his own handwriting, I showed it directly to the class, and the students didn't believe that he had written it.

Of course, the change is not achieved overnight, and if you don't pay attention to it, he will be the same as before, so you need to affirm it in time and give phased and practical suggestions, so that he can understand how to write well.

In the above examples, my attempts are superficially just to praise the child, but in fact my purpose is not limited to that.

Evaluation itself naturally implies inequality of status, and if it only allows children to get a sense of accomplishment from themselves, it will undoubtedly hinder children's growth.

Therefore, whenever I give children verbal or material encouragement, I will always say that these are insignificant, and the greatest encouragement is the joy that children experience from learning. And I'm just a guide.

As a bridge, I always remind my children to "cross the river and tear down the bridge" when they arrive, because there is a bigger world waiting for them.

My personal limitations should not be theirs.

If you don't know how to praise your child specifically, you can refer to my text below.

At the beginning of this semester, I held a small activity in my class for the children to draw a lottery, and some children drew a public praise letter. The text is as follows:

(Swipe up to start)

A letter that openly exaggerates the classmates

Zhang Linxiao, who deserves all praise:

If you want to praise you, you can't just praise you.

Praise you for the "hello" you always say, the "smile" on your face, and the fast way you run to open the door every day.

To praise your whimsy and wonderful ideas, there must be a wonderful fairy tale world in your head. You're like an elf, flying in it. I can always feel the spirit in your sentences, and I especially believe that it is your mind flickering. One day, when these things can be presented under your hands, I believe that they can bring a different sense of beauty to others.

Praise your endurance and focus, as if you have endless strength in your small body. In that school sports day, you jumped so far and tried your best to win. You may fall in the middle, but that doesn't stop you from moving forward. You're always thinking about putting your hula hoop a little farther away, thinking about being able to achieve a bigger advantage at once. In the process of playing table tennis, when you can't play on the stage, you compete with others to juggle the ball. I see in your eyes something called concentration, that's the desire to win, that's when you're in a state of flow. Sure enough, you've won. It won't be long before you're ready to play. You can even catch those high balls, and these are difficult for others.

I want to praise you for your sincerity and politeness, and I can always see the light in your eyes. Every time I see it, the haze in my heart will be swept away. There are many things that have taken root in your body, sincerity is nourishment, and your politeness makes people feel like a spring breeze and the corners of your mouth are raised.

I also want to praise you for your high standards for yourself, your pursuit of perfection, and your courage to wipe away your tears and continue to move forward. Praise you for being a good child of your parents, praise you for being a good sister to your younger brother, praise you for being a good student of your teacher, and more importantly, praise yourself, praise you who don't belong to anyone, and praise you for your life.

It's a pity that all I can boast about is you now. I don't know how far you can go in the future, that's something I can't imagine, your life has infinite possibilities. If I could, how I would think of the future world, take a look at you in the future, and then leave a letter praising you.

On the road to better, the so-called high grades are just something that is not worth mentioning, because it is a matter of course.

I don't know if this praise is enough, if there is anything missing, all the praise you can think of is very suitable for you. You can add them to it yourself.

This is the end of the praise, and your growth will not end.

In the process of "opening" up, you will be "drenched" in the rain, but after the rain, there will be your own clouds.

someone

As at 1 March 2024

The twenty-first morning book of the first month of the first month of the first year of the first year of the lunar calendar

Only encouragement, fear of the child's complacency, only suppression, fear of the child discouragement.

What parents need to do is to really "see" and "feel" their children. At the same time, treat children equally.

This sentence seems simple, but the knowledge in it is very deep. If you can't find the mouth of how to break through the parent-child relationship, if you are also confused and confused, then it is better to experience the "No Anxiety Parents Club" -

Author | Defeated 

Ordinary science fiction enthusiasts, often write in the folded universe;

Ordinary education practitioners occasionally have wonderful ideas.