"Power" is the strength to resist a bad marriage.
Women's road to self-help starts from breaking themselves again and again.
At this year's annual meeting of the Yabuli China Entrepreneurs Forum, Yu Yu, founder and chairman of Dangdang.com, made a speech at the "She Power" forum, which brought tears to my eyes.
After experiencing the "divorce battle" with Li Guoqing, Yu Yu, who has been immersed in the background, came to the stage.
After the video of this forum came out, many bloggers commented on Yu Yu's appearance on the Internet, and the word "ugly" was said.
There are also various male perspectives, saying that Yu Yu makes so much money, why don't you make yourself more beautiful, no wonder Li Guoqing wants to divorce her.
There are even people who complain about Yu Yu's dress, saying that she is ugly.
In fact, Yu Yu not only wore the new Chinese style that has been popular in recent years, but even wore a brooch, how to dress up to meet the so-called "beauty" of the public?
In terms of appearance and appearance, she may indeed not be the "Internet celebrity face and Internet celebrity body" in the eyes of the public.
But as an entrepreneur, her thinking and pattern are beyond the reach of many women.
Because her conversation is enough to conquer the public, she doesn't need to bless herself with her beautiful appearance anymore.
For her speech at the forum, women are more powerful and goal-oriented after reading it, and are no longer limited to the appearance association and love of one acre and three points of land.
And men who are more broad-minded and understand the development of the world will help to remove oil.
A netizen has a comment like this:
"One of the things I hate the most, dark skin, that nose is absolutely amazing, and the nose is a problem in the world of plastic surgeons. However, I am fascinated by the bookish breath of a mouth, I must learn from her, women have to seek inward after all, and connotation is more important than anything else. ”
Perhaps, Yu Yu's "beauty" can only be seen by people with vision and pattern.
Because she has always known the law of the jungle, she once said:
"Beauty doesn't fit much with me, I like power. ”
01
"I like power"
What does power mean to women?
Regarding the comments on the appearance of the outside world, Yu Yu didn't care at all.
In a previous interview, Yu Yu said very frankly that she knew that she was not a beauty since she was a child, and she had never used the so-called "appearance advantage" of women to achieve anything in her life.
After working, she found that both leaders and colleagues want performance.
Later, she moved into management positions.
As a manager, Yu Yu has read countless employees, and he firmly believes that for both male and female employees, the so-called appearance advantages or disadvantages cannot even be ranked in the top five in importance.
Except, of course, those with ulterior motives.
For the workplace, Yu Yu feels that three workplace competencies are very important:
The first is attitude, which is positive and resilient.
The second is education and skills.
The third is experience.
The workplace has always been a place to look at performance, and appearance is just the icing on the cake.
Therefore, after understanding the rules of survival in the workplace and his own strengths and weaknesses, Yu Yu clearly knew what he wanted.
She said: "Beauty doesn't have a lot of boundaries with me, I like power. ”
How difficult it is for women to say the four words "like power" may only be understood by women themselves.
Only by standing at the top and mastering the real right to speak, the value you create will not be shared by others.
In the military merit medal, the half of yours is only given to you by others, and there is no one if others don't give it.
The half of the sky that belongs to you, whether it is rainy or sunny, is not in your own hands.
Therefore, what kind of person does a woman become, and only after having power can she have the freedom to choose.
At the "She Power" forum, Yu Yu also said that Chinese women spend 2.5 times as much time on housework as men, which is very bad.
The criterion for determining the happiness of a family is the result of the joint efforts of two people, not just one person.
Therefore, at the time of the divorce, when Li Guoqing accused Yu Yu of not washing his socks, he felt very ridiculous.
Yu Yu also said that both men and women should live a good life, do things that are challenging, interesting and can be pursued for a long time, and do not define themselves as a certain role.
"Listen to your heart, chase your dreams, unleash greater potential, and suffer a little less grievances, I think the less shackles in life, the better. ”
Yu Yu's speech is simply a great awakening in the world!
In the face of family and work, Yu Yu, like real working women, has no balance at all.
Move where you need to, life doesn't give you balance and choice at all.
The lack of women at the pinnacle of power has led to women's total aphasia in all fields.
Therefore, she likes power, and only power can give a woman more choice and enough freedom.
02
Dare to "tear apart" a bad marriage
"Power" is the strength to resist a bad marriage.
In real life, there are still many women who consume themselves in a bad marriage, but dare not leave.
The most important reason is that there is not enough capital and confidence.
Whether it's material or spiritual.
This year, Yu Yu and Li Guoqing's four-year divorce road finally came to an end.
On April 26, 2020, Dangdang Online staged a drama that shocked the whole network, "the boss regained equity, and the boss lady was swept away".
According to the media at the time, Li Guoqing led four big men to Dangdang to take away dozens of official seals and financial seals, and announced a full takeover of Dangdang.
However, he forgot that without Yu Yu, how could there be today's dangdang.
Yu Yu has never been the kind of woman who stands behind the big guys, she is an out-and-out returnee elite, a woman from Wall Street.
After graduating from New York University's School of Business Administration with an MBA in Finance and International Business, Yu Yu founded her own company and provided financial investment services on Wall Street.
From 1992 to 1996, she sold companies through acquisitions and mergers and acquisitions, generating more than $100 million in profits for clients.
In 1996, Yu Yu met Li Guoqing in New York, and three months later, they got married.
In November 1999, Dangdang was born.
After its establishment, the first funding came from $6.8 million from several big-name venture capitals such as IDG, SoftBank and Luxembourg Cambridge Group, all of which were strategic investors hired by Yu Yu.
At that time, the husband and wife shared the same hatred, Yu Yu was in charge of finance and human resources, and Li Guoqing was in charge of marketing, technology, editing, and operation, and soon Dangdang stood out from the more than 300 online bookstores that exploded.
At that time, Yu Yu positioned himself as a consultant, and the leader was Li Guoqing.
But gradually, it was Li Guoqing's deep dependence on Yu Yu that caused Yu Yu to gradually become the dominant player, and Li Guoqing himself admitted:
"She's smart, she's got big financing negotiations, and she's my echo board when I'm making decisions. ”
Yu Yu also said that accompanying Li Guoqing to start a business is like rereading an MBA class.
Yu Yu's talent and wisdom are the escorts of this big ship.
In 2000, the Internet bubble burst in the United States, and the Internet was in full swing.
Zhang Ying, the founder of Jingwei China, once said to Li Guoqing:
"You don't know anything about capital, you have Yu Yu in your life. ”
Yu Yu was not a little woman, she was a modern manager and entrepreneur with the ability to kill and decide, perhaps this is also the reason why Li Guoqing loved her and needed her at the beginning.
However, in marriage, "one mountain cannot accommodate two tigers", and the interweaving of work, life, and family has brought their relationship between husband and wife to an end.
Rationality, calmness, and sobriety are the biggest advantages of a strong woman.
When marriage and career conflicted, she dared to "tear apart" a bad marriage and choose "power".
03
Break the self and be reborn in Nirvana
"To my family, to investors, to colleagues, the more temper you lose, the heavier my sense of responsibility and guilt becomes. ”
Yu Yu said that kindness, soft-heartedness, and strong empathy are actually the shortcomings of women when they ask for power from society.
At the beginning of the company, she was the last to leave the company every day, and she always felt that she had to be a role model.
Even when the driver picked her up, she climbed over the guardrail to wait for the driver on the other side of the road, not daring to let the driver turn around and pick her up.
Girls are always too considerate of others, and the world is generally more "daddy".
Women think they are strong, but they are in charge and fighting alone.
The strength in the eyes of men is the knowledge of using all resources for their own benefit.
Yu Yu, who is talking eloquently now, had a market value of hundreds of millions of dollars at the beginning, and he chose to be patient not for the sake of face or motherhood.
The growth of women in this world is always cruel, and women's self-help starts from breaking themselves again and again.
This time at the "Her Power" forum, Yu Yu finally stretched.
After the divorce and nirvana, she also talked about the two pain points of women's road to power:
First, women should overcome the habit of frugality and "dare to exchange the company's resources for their own performance".
Second, overcome the habit of leading by example and dare to ask for performance from subordinates.
Every woman is born with a pleasing personality, and our growth begins with tearing the skin and breaking the "harmony" that we have painstakingly managed.
Don't be beautiful and ask for power, it does offend some people, but it can achieve women's freedom and fearlessness.
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Author: Wan Muzi, CCDM China Career Planner, BSC Senior Career Planner, American Shubo School Career Planner, more than 9 years of enterprise project management, registered international psychological counselor, more than 5 years of corporate training lecturer, platform contract author, second child mother.