Preamble:
We are all familiar with this idiom - everyone gathers firewood and the flame is high. One day in 2001, when the snow in Iowa was stained with blood, a mother surrounded by flowers and applause was pulling her life into darkness while telling lies, and hiding in her doubts was a bottomless whirlpool called "Tracy".
In the early morning of September 13, the warm winter sun slowly spread all over the land. The cat had emerged from the warm bed, and the family of three sat around the dining table, the man spreading butter and jam on the slices of toasted bread. "Jingle bell", the crisp sound pierces the silence, this is a police text message. The man turned on his mobile phone and saw that it was written: Erlifa life case, the specific situation is unknown, please pay attention to personal safety of the people of the city, and take the initiative to provide clues to help solve the case......
A mother, two children, a neighbor, six gunshots, a corpse. That's what it's all about. So, where is the truth?
Behind the loneliness: how unhappy the teenage Tracy must be
Tracy was born in 1966 in a small town in the Midwestern United States. She came from a poor family, with an alcoholic father and a mother who was often sick at home. As a child, Tracy was introverted and had no friends, and was often ridiculed and excluded by her classmates. She was left alone at home, facing a mountain of bottles and pill boxes in the corner.
And this is just the beginning of her painful life.
At the age of 8, Tracy was adopted by a local family, which gave her her first experience of the warmth of home and even the joy of getting her wish fulfilled. However, the good times were short-lived. That winter, she was molested by her adoptive father. From this moment on, the unforgettable shadow was deeply imprinted in the little girl's heart.
"What is it about a person's heart that makes it so dark and twisted?" Tricy was terrified. She returns to the orphanage, only to find that she is no longer able to fit into any group and is alienated by everyone. "You go quickly, what if you get infected?" When the other children saw her, they hid away.
How am I going to live? she often asked herself in the dead of night. Perhaps, only by tearing apart other people's scars can we get a little comfort. Tracy learned the cruelty and darkness of life early on. She longs for warmth, but is hurt and betrayed again and again. The atrocities of her adoptive father completely destroyed her last illusion of human goodness.
The wounds in her heart are getting worse, and Tracy gradually hides herself under a reclusive shell. She no longer trusts anyone, and she no longer easily reveals her fragile and sensitive heart. In its place, there is an innate alertness and vigilance. Her world was nothing but gray.
So, before realizing how much pain it would cause to others, Tracy learned to lie. Because in that cruel world, she can only survive by weaving all kinds of lies as a shell of self-protection.
Growing Up as a Girl: Love, Marriage and Revenge
At the age of 21, Tracy won a scholarship and was admitted to the university's medical school. It was here that she met the first person who truly loved her - John. John was three years older than her, had a wealthy family, and had a cheerful personality. Completely different from her.
"Finally, I found someone I could rely on. Tracy was moved to tears. She even had the courage to mend her ways and start over. She saw warmth and hope in John, something she didn't have in her childhood nightmares.
But in the first year of marriage, the beautiful illusion was shattered. In order to pay off the mortgage as soon as possible, John worked crazy overtime and rarely stayed home with her. Tracy is disappointed with his change. "Am I really that unworthy of your time?" After an argument, Tracy once again falls into the abyss of despair.
Alone in the bathroom, she raised John's pistol and aimed it at her heart...... Just as she was about to pull the trigger, John broke through the door and grabbed the gun. "I'm sorry...... It's me who is bad. He hugged Tracy apologetically. However, John did not correct it.
Within a few years, Tracy discovered that John was not only having an affair, but also secretly taking out a huge life insurance policy. This is tantamount to waiting for her death. Tracy was completely devastated. She began to plan revenge. Maybe you can only feel better if you hurt others. This is how she twists her fate.
Darkness Comes: Where Are the Boundaries Between Love and Hate
In 2001, Tracy, a mother of two, lived a decent life. But at this moment, she received a summons from the court - her ex-husband John wanted to take custody of their children. "Why do all the people want to hurt me and my children!" Tracy cried out in despair.
She suddenly realized that she had been living in fear all along. She is afraid of being abandoned, afraid of facing the darkness alone, and even more afraid of losing everything that she has only gained until now, which can be called "home". "My children are all I have!" This is the last bottom line in Tracy's heart. In order to protect this last bit of warmth, she is willing to do anything, even if it is to kill people.
Just then, her neighbor Dustin visits her. "Are you alright?" Dustin looked at her with concern. Tracy looked up, her neighbor's young face distorted in her eyes. This face is so similar to John. Enraged, Tracy pushed him away, "You weren't sent by John!
"What? What stupid are you talking about?" Dustin was stunned. However, Tracy could not listen to any explanation. She prepares the pistol left by John and asks Dustin to come to her house to help fix the computer. Just as Dustin bent down to check the power cord, Tracy picked up the gun......
Six gunshots passed, and young lives were lost. Tracy wasn't as satisfied as she once was. In its place, there was a deep emptiness – just like her life. Maybe the real darkness was not given to her by others at all, but from the depths of her heart. However, it was too late......
Will the light come: what fate has arranged for her
Ten years later, in court, Tracy finally realizes that it all comes from her inability to let go of the past. She could have had a different life. What if she learned to forgive and be grateful, instead of teaching others to clench their fists and be enemies of the world...... Maybe she could live a little happier, too.
We are all seekers of light in the abyss. And the light is not far away from us, only in a thought. So, don't stop looking for the last hope. Before the desperate situation comes, reconcile with the past and the world. This could change everything.
At trial, Tracy recalls the pony she was taken away from as a child. The meekness and innocence in its eyes made her still have a glimmer of good faith in the world. Soon after, however, it died, and its small corpse lay in the snow.
"Is life so cruel?" Tracy knelt in front of it, tears frozen into ice. This was the first time she realized the cruelty of her fate. Perhaps it was at this moment that her heart began to twist, chasing the instinct of darkness step by step.
"I could have had a different life. Tracy muttered to herself. She knew it was too late. Fate gave her too many choices, but she went in the wrong direction again and again, until she was destroyed. And this is the sorrow of her life.