The grandson asked his grandmother, "Kiss or grandma?"
The child asked sincerely.
I couldn't hold back my tears when I was a question.
It was an ordinary day, and the sun was shining. I sat in the yard and watched my grandson play hide-and-seek in the garden.
In the family, I am their grandmother, but few people call me "grandma", most of the time it is "grandma".
I come from an ordinary family and grew up with my husband to form a happy family. Both sons have started a family and have children.
However, whenever they call me "grandma", I always feel slightly unhappy in my heart.
In the afternoon, I watched TV in the living room, feeling the gentle afternoon sun. The grandson suddenly ran over and asked loudly, "Grandma, shall we go to the amusement park?"
In retrospect, this irritability stemmed from my inner struggle. I am their grandmother, and I should be called "grandma" by them, not "grandma".
In the evening, I was busy preparing dinner in the kitchen. The grandson suddenly barged in, carrying a schoolbag, looking a little panicked.
His words froze me in place, and my inner struggle reached its peak.
My grandson's words made me think deeply. What did his parents think? Maybe they didn't realize it at all, but I thought it was a thorn in my heart.
This exchange did not make my heart feel relieved, but made me feel more lost. As a mother, I hope that I can be respected by my family, but am I too sensitive because I am caught up in an emotional quagmire just because of a title?
In the midst of such contradictions, I gradually felt powerless. I used to feel like a bond in my family, but now I'm helpless and lost.
This inner struggle makes me feel exhausted.
I silently raised my head and took a deep breath, a huge wave under the apparent calm in my heart. I know that in addition to the name of the grandson, what is more important is the balance in the family.
After dinner, I took my grandson in my arms and patiently explained the problem to him. I told him that no matter what I was called, I was his father's mother, he was my child's child, and the relationship between us would not change in any way because of the name.
The grandson raised his head, his eyes full of doubt: "Then why do mom and dad argue?"
I stroked his hair lightly and said with a smile, "They only care about such a thing because they care about me."
However, it doesn't matter, the most important thing is the love and harmony between us.
At this moment, I felt my grandson's maturity and understanding, and I also relieved my doubts. Perhaps, in the family, it is not important what the individual is called, what matters is mutual understanding and tolerance between us.
However, just as the issue was about to be reconciled, our family was once again in a tangle. My eldest son and second daughter-in-law disagreed and had a disagreement over their children's education.
While my conversation with my grandson gave me a sense of relief, the upcoming gathering of relatives gave me new worries.
And how to deal with the upcoming gathering of relatives, I also felt at a loss.
At this time, my grandson's question made me rethink this contradiction that was fierce in my heart but could not get rid of.
The change in family relations has complicated the originally simple issue of names, and behind this, there are family disputes and conflicts that cannot be escaped.