#文章首发挑战赛#
Before reading this article, please click "Follow", which is not only convenient for you to discuss and share, but also can bring you more sense of participation, thank you for your support.
Sentence | Li-chi-hsien
Edit | Chestnut Hat
sequence
One of the monarchs of the Three Kingdoms period, Emperor Zhaolie Liu Bei once left his son with life lessons when he was dying.
One of them is a sentence:
"Don't take the good for the small, don't take the evil for the small. ”
The purpose of Liu Xuande to leave this sentence to his son is to urge Liu Chan, the queen of Shu, to always have an upright and kind heart.
But as a hero, he also knows that this kindness of people needs to be measured.
Excessive kindness can easily backfire and even cause us to be backfired.
The so-called "the extremes of things must be opposed" is also a wise proverb that has been handed down from ancient times to the present.
It's good to be generous, but it's not good to be brainless
No one can guarantee a smooth ride for a lifetime, and when a person encounters difficulties, as relatives and friends, they will help out.
Helping is only an auxiliary role, and we must be measured.
To put it bluntly, being overly generous in helping others is not actually helping others but harming them.
This kind of unrestrained and unrestrained form of assistance can easily encourage others to sit back and enjoy their success.
At times like these, the more generous we become, the more comfortable the other person will be.
If, one day, our generosity is reduced or interrupted, it may be met with slander instead of thanks.
This is by no means an exaggeration, but is supported by many case allusions.
For example, the story of Mr. Dong Guo and the wolf, Mr. Dong Guo helped the wolf escape from the hunter again and again.
Later, when Mr. Dong Guo was no longer able to provide assistance to the wolves.
The wolf regarded Mr. Dongguo, who had helped him, as his last prey, and opened his fangs.
At the same time, unlimited generosity can also have an impact on the situation we have created.
is also Mr. Dongguo, who has no bottom line to help the wolf, but in the end, he lost even the means to protect his life.
The hunters, who were originally traveling with him, took a different path under his persuasion.
If it weren't for the time to run and the hunters returned, Mr. Dongguo was afraid that he would be buried in the wolf's mouth.
But this is not to say that we should stop helping others, and that helping others is also methodical.
A better way is to point out a bright future for the plight of others, rather than brainless "generosity".
Enthusiasm is essential, but don't go overboard either
From childhood to adulthood, "helpfulness" is one of the most common words in the life education we are exposed to.
In fact, this word is to educate us to always maintain a passionate heart to dedicate our own values.
However, most education does not teach us, and although it is good to have a passionate heart, it also has certain drawbacks.
The so-called "things must be opposed" is the most accurate description in this regard.
If you are too enthusiastic about other people's affairs, you will inevitably attract people's eyes.
The right amount of enthusiasm will make people happy, but if this enthusiasm is too much, it will be "self-acquaintance".
If you say it is ugly, you may be said to be "unmeasured", which will directly reduce your impression in the hearts of others.
Especially in the first class, workplace, etc., it is not a good thing to be overly enthusiastic.
Many people don't pay attention to the term "sense of boundaries".
But in psychology, the term is an aspect of relationships that cannot be ignored.
If a person is too enthusiastic, the "sense of boundary" will also shrink or even disappear, which can easily attract the disgust of others.
The simplest example is when young people come home for the Spring Festival, and relatives from all walks of life ask questions.
The inquiring of relatives and elders is a manifestation of over-enthusiasm.
Today's young people are becoming more and more "afraid" of visiting their relatives, which is an important reason.
Being overly enthusiastic, if you put it more bluntly, is actually meddling.
Therefore, when dealing with people, we must grasp this emotional balance and don't go overboard.
Excessive kindness is a distorted view of good and evil
Nowadays, the Internet is becoming more and more developed, and many words that did not exist in the past are spread through it.
There is a word among young people today, and that is "Our Lady".
The "Holy Mother" in the mouth of netizens is actually not a compliment, but a real derogatory term.
It describes those who are soft-hearted and have no bottom line when it comes to tolerating and forgiving crimes.
What these "virgins" do is actually a kind of excessive kindness.
Their self-belief that they are spreading "love" and "goodness" is actually just a form of moral coercion.
For example, in a homicide case, just because of the criminal's family difficulties or other hidden circumstances, the "Virgins" will show "kindness" and excuse him.
Although we are taught from an early age to always be compassionate. This is true of both Confucianism and Zen Buddhism.
But this compassion and kindness does not mean that we should forgive without a bottom line.
Our society is a society governed by the rule of law, and everything is bound by law.
There are moral norms beyond the law that guide us spiritually. Being punished for making mistakes is just a matter of course.
There is no need to have mercy on a criminal, a wrongdoer.
At the beginning of human beings, the goodness of nature, the goodness engraved in our hearts, has the time and degree of its action.
Excessive humility and tolerance will eventually lead to suffering
As the saying goes: "People are good at being bullied, and horses are good at being ridden." Although this is rude, it is not lacking in truth.
In the distant future, during the Warring States Period, the Six Kingdoms joined forces to resist Qin but were defeated.
The reason for this is that Jia Yi of the Western Han Dynasty summarized in "On the Passage of Qin":
So he scattered the covenant and failed, fought for the land and bribed Qin. ”
The Six Nations Alliance is strong, ten times or even more than the Qin army.
In the end, they were vulnerable and scattered and defeated, and a very important reason was that they were all afraid of this Qin State.
As a result, at the critical moment, they turned against Qin and offered their land to Qin in order to force Qin to let go.
But what are the consequences of their blind condescension?
The third child of the Liu family, who was born in a humble background, relied on the ambition of "he can replace him", defeated the enemy all the way and established the Han Dynasty.
It can be seen that the result of over-tolerance will only make the situation worse.
And being bloody and being able to maintain one's heart is an important factor in the final success.
The same is true today, in the workplace, there is a high probability that no one cares about hard work for many years.
Over time, this kind of humble behavior may also be perceived by others as a sign of "good bullying".
Therefore, we must develop this Xi, that is, to avoid excessive tolerance and humility.
To be a human being must be bloody, to be friendly to others is a virtue, and to be upright and strong is also to be strong.
"There is no beauty or evil in things, and if you pass it, it will be a disaster"
Xin Qiji is one of the most famous lyricists in ancient times in the mainland, his style of words is generous and heroic, and he also has the reputation of "the dragon in words".
As a lyricist who loves to use dictionaries, he himself has left a lot of allusions for future generations.
For example, a sentence from his "Qinyuan Spring": "There is no beauty or evil in things, and if you pass it, it will be a disaster." ”
Although the original meaning of the word refers to the pros and cons of drinking, it is also very appropriate when applied in other places, such as the revelation of the degree of goodness.
The meaning of this little phrase is that there is no such thing as good or bad, but that anything that passes a certain amount will cause disaster.
Excessive generosity and enthusiasm and kindness and forbearance will eventually deviate from the original intention and then develop in a bad way.
Xin Qiji's complaint at the wine table one afternoon a thousand years ago can also leave us with inspiration for life today.
Xin Qiji didn't really quit drinking in the end, because there were still many regrets in his heart.
The country's sinking and personal talent did not meet, and he could not stretch his ambition in his chest, so he had no choice but to use wine to kill his sorrows.
But he also really did not be greedy for glasses or alcohol.
Because Xin Qiji truly understood the truth he wrote that "there is no beauty or evil in things, and if you go too far, it will be a disaster".
As modern people, although we are experiencing the present, there are many ideological guidance like this provided by the ancients.
That is to say, "if it is excessive, it will be a disaster", even if it is good and accumulating, it must be moderate.
The "good" that goes too far, invisibly, can also be a kind of "evil".
epilogue
"Yin and Yang balance" is one of the cores of Taoist thought that has been passed down for thousands of years.
The so-called "degree" that maintains this balance is hidden in our hearts, waiting for people to understand and practice.