The second child "with the mother's surname" has become a new trend? People who came over said: In less than 10 years, 4 drawbacks will appear.
The two-child policy has been liberalized, and now many families have given birth to two or even three treasures. With one more child in the family, it feels different. There is a lot of joy that is not felt by those families with one child.
I have a girlfriend who has been married for three years and likes to raise two big babies. And a boy and a girl, perfectly make up a good word. She often posts the daily life of her two children in the circle of friends, which is very cute, and everyone envies her, which is so blessed.
But then again, many families with two or three children have also encountered 1 problem. If this problem is not solved well, it is likely to exacerbate conflicts between family members, affect the relationship between the husband and wife, and may even eventually lead to the breakdown of the marriage.
So what exactly is the problem? You can take a look at whether you have encountered this problem, and you can also share with you how you solved it?
After the birth of a child, choosing a nice name for the child has become a top priority for many families. But there is one thing that seems to be conventional, and there is no controversy, is the child's surname.
Most of us take our father's surname. There seems to be no need to argue. And in the past, no matter how many children were born in the family, they all followed their father's surname.
Times are different now, and the status of women in the family is also increasing. Especially after giving birth to a second child, more and more women have begun to propose that the second child must take their surname.
The second child has gradually formed a trend with the mother's surname, and it is becoming more and more common. That seems fair to both companies.
But there are many people who have come here to share their experiences. They said that in less than 10 years, these families will have the following four drawbacks. Let's listen and see if it makes sense.
First of all, the first drawback is that it is easy to cause the partiality of the elders.
Actually, this is very understandable, you said that the old man has lived for decades. It is not easy to get them to accept that their grandchildren are not a surname.
Especially grandparents, who will definitely prefer the eldest son who takes their family name. Grandparents are often very supportive of this approach.
Especially if your daughter is an only child, then the second child with your daughter's surname is equivalent to inheriting your family. So they naturally prefer the second child.
I have a cousin who has two children. She told me that this problem is now in their family. Obviously, grandparents are partial to the big ones, and grandparents are partial to the small ones.
And as soon as the two children fought, the eldest went to the grandparents to complain, and the second went to the grandparents to comment. When it comes to holidays, the two of them want to take the children out to play, the older ones want to go to their grandparents' house, and the younger ones want to go to their grandparents' house. My cousin said he didn't even know what to do.
The second drawback, the man will be criticized.
It seems to be customary for children to take their father's surname. It has been a cultural phenomenon for thousands of years. Especially in the minds of some older people, it is already ingrained.
They will think that once the children of the family do not take the father's surname, but the mother's surname, then the father of the family is likely to be the son-in-law or the woman's family. Then the man is likely to be considered incompetent, eat soft rice, and even be pointed at by others.
The third drawback, you may encounter unnecessary trouble.
You may have often heard that when you go out to run errands now, sometimes you have to issue a lot of certificates. There are even times when you have to prove that your father is your father.
If you originally took your father's surname, it might be better to prove something. But if you don't take your father's surname, you take your mother's surname. It may take more time and go through more processes. to prove to others that you are related to your father.
The fourth drawback, many mothers regret it.
In fact, for Bao Ma, it doesn't matter if it's big or small. They are all conceived by themselves in October, and they are all their own children. But they never imagined that it was because the two children had different surnames that they had caused them a lot of trouble.
A colleague of mine is like this, Dabao takes his father's surname, and Erbao follows his mother's surname, but when the child is five or six years old, Dabao will drive Erbao away as soon as he fights, and tell Erbao to get out of their house! After a long time, the two children will be estranged, and they may not even kiss. This made my colleagues feel both helpless and painful.
It seems that it is not so simple to let the child take the mother's surname. There are a lot of other problems that can arise. It can even cause disharmony in family relationships. So we still have to be cautious.
What do you think about this?
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