1
Properly go crazy and liberate emotions
Recently, a friend on the Internet shared such an interesting story, which made people laugh.
The netizen said that when she went swimming, she found that a strange uncle had been following her closely.
In the big pool, the uncle rubbed against her again and again, either touching her feet or touching her calves, which made people feel very uncomfortable.
After repeated temptations, the girl finally determined that the uncle was harassing her. So she "had an idea", got into the pool, took off the uncle's swimming trunks, and threw them on the shore......
After reading the whole story, netizens were happy and expressed their gratitude to the girl for saving their "mammary glands".
There is an old saying: "Whoever doesn't go crazy is just holding on." ”
Indeed, this kind of beauty of "being angry on the spot" is so comfortable!
"Since I started going crazy, my mental state has been much better" - this is the insight that countless netizens have gained in practice.
According to the 2023 China Women's Health Pink Report, in recent years, the incidence of breast cancer is increasing year by year, and the incidence of breast cancer is gradually getting younger.
Although anger does not directly lead to breast cancer, if you often sulk or are emotionally unstable, it is easy to increase the risk of breast cancer.
This is because every time you get angry, it will accumulate in your chest and become a "thorn" that hurts your breasts, resulting in aggravation of breast pain.
It's not just about getting angry.
Every time you have a bad mood, it will manifest itself in your body to varying degrees.
"Grumpiness will stay in the uterus, depression will stay in the breast, grievances will stay in the stomach, anger will easily cause ovarian cysts, and hurting the spleen and stomach will cause depression. ”
So, really have less internal friction and don't get angry.
Out of the pain, the only one who is uncomfortable is himself.
In particular, if you can't vent your qi and accumulate depression for a long time, there will be problems in your body.
China is a big civilized country, and the most important thing for the Chinese is "upbringing" and "decency." But when this kind of "decency" restricts oneself, in the end, it is up to oneself to suffer.
No matter what difficulties they encountered, or what anger they suffered, everyone held back. In the end, the nodules were choked out and depression was chosen, which was absolutely unavoidable.
Catharsis and courage to "go crazy" are essential weapons for contemporary adults.
2
Reject internal friction and start with a counterattack
I have a friend who is 35 years old and is a small supervisor in the company, but every time it comes time to make a choice, her heart starts to fight.
This caused her to miss a lot of opportunities for promotion and job hopping, for example, at the beginning of the year, there was obviously a better company extending an olive branch to her, but she was worried about the team, and worried that the new job would not adapt well, and the commuting time might affect the family...
In the end, she refused, but after refusing, she began to regret it again.
Moreover, she is very demanding of herself, and at the same time very sensitive and careful, she wants to take care of all the people around her, even strangers who have only met once, but forget herself.
She absorbs a lot of negative energy from the outside world and lives cautiously, but she still can't satisfy everyone.
For a long time, she was in a state of self-loathing.
She hated that hesitant self;
I hate myself for not being able to satisfy my family and friends;
Hate that imperfect self...
"I've lived for 35 years, and in the end I've achieved nothing, and I don't know where I'm shining. I don't seem to have lived for myself, when I was a child, I worked for my parents, I worked for a company, and I got married for a family. No one cares if I'm doing well or not, how I'm feeling, and the most ridiculous thing is that I don't know what I want for a long time. ”
I feel bad to hear that.
She is strong, but at the same time weak, sensitive, and inferior, and I saw in her life the exhaustion and helplessness of an ordinary middle-aged woman, this tiredness is not physical, but mental.
And the source of all this is the "spiritual internal friction" that most people now have.
It's easy to think too much about things, care too much about what others think, often blame yourself, and doubt yourself. ....When you fall into negative emotions, you don't get rid of them, and you start to consume yourself, which is a manifestation of mental internal friction.
Yu Hua said: "Mental internal friction, to put it bluntly, there are too many dramas in my heart.
Before the words came out, the ending has been played thousands of times;
The body has not moved, and the heart has passed the ten thousand mountains;
If the line is unsuccessful, the illusion of suffering is not fulfilled;
It's over, and the past is still playing out in my head.
At some stage, everyone will fall into this internal friction. It's normal, but it's also important to get out in time.
There may be two reasons for mental internal friction, one is selfishness and unknowing, and the other is the excessive pursuit of perfection in the spirit, unable to keep up with ideas in action, and eager to achieve results, and finally causing anxiety and anxiety.
The best way to get out of mental friction is to understand, accept, let go, and change.
The most important thing is not to think, but to act on yourself.
Do it boldly, don't be afraid, no one cares, even if someone cares, others are others, it doesn't matter!
Don't think too much, what should come will come, what shouldn't come, you can't stop it even if you think about it.
The past is in the past, don't keep taking it out and chewing it repeatedly, people are not camels, can you chew it again after eating?
Instead of consuming yourself internally, it is better to consume others externally, anyway, the person who makes you uncomfortable doesn't care about your feelings at all, why bother to be soft-hearted, go crazy appropriately, it's really good for health!
For example, there was a male colleague in the former company, and he always liked to evaluate the figure of the female colleague.
Everyone was annoyed with him, but because of working together, he didn't break it on the surface.
It wasn't until a post-00 Xi came to the company that this situation was broken.
Once, this male colleague owed his mouth, stared at the Xi student and said:
"You've been a little blessed lately, aren't you eating too well? ”
The Xi students didn't even look at him and said:
"I'm full and fat, you're well-fed. ”
The male colleague who choked up added with a red face:
"To be honest, your legs are too thick. ”
The Xi student continued to reply:
"I practiced it on purpose, so that I could kick away the person who said I had thick legs at once. ”
The male colleague was so scared that he had nothing to say, so he could only shut up.
The other colleagues who were present at the time, not to mention how cool it was.
There are always people who say that we should be kind and value harmony.
Yes, you can be kind.
But divide people.
Kindness to your people, of course, we must also release kindness;
But for those who have bad intentions, kindness becomes a compromise, or even an "encouragement".
In contrast, ignoring and fighting back are more effective.
Instead of being suffocated by rotten people to suffocate internal injuries, it is better to vent them freely, why let uneducated people hurt our mammary glands!
This is true of people and things.
You respect me a foot, I respect you a foot;
If you kick your nose in the face, don't blame me for using thunderous means.
Teacher Luo Xiang said:
"The most attractive time is when you don't care about everything and everything around you.
I don't care about the evaluation and vision of others, I don't care if I have a sense of existence, I always have my own rhythm and pace, which is also the source of relaxation. ”
Express your displeasure directly, and learn to say no if you feel uncomfortable.
When you no longer grieve yourself and learn to make yourself happy, you can get out of the cycle of internal friction.
3
Stop internal friction and start by loving yourself
The emotional freedom of middle-aged people is really precious.
Because they have too much to bear.
You have to take care of your parents' feelings, your children's emotions, and you have to deal with people from all walks of life at work.
The result is always:
The more patient we are with those around us, the more unscrupulous they become.
On the contrary, when we are clear about the bottom line and even launch a counterattack, they do not dare to transgress infinitely.
When we no longer cling to the burden of "perfection" in the eyes of others, we may be able to understand:
The so-called shackles are all put on by themselves.
You don't have to be a 100% child or a parent who never makes mistakes.
Outside of your social role, give yourself some space.
Being moderately "selfish" and no longer wronging yourself is the right way to live.
Learn to say "no" to people and things that are excessive, and distance yourself from the sophistication of people who will only consume you.
Halfway through her life, a wise woman learns to live without carrying the hopes of others, and she also knows how to no longer wronged herself.
For example, Internet celebrity Zhang Taling once stood up for her pregnant belly on "Wonderful Sayings", she said: I am for myself.
Why did she later step off the stage of "Wonderful Story", she can sit on millions of fans and like to run to watch her share her daily life?
It's not because of the independent heroine and the winner in life, but because she can always tell the unsatisfactory life of chickens, flies and dogs into jokes, and use a sense of humor to dispel the difficulties in life that every ordinary wife, mother, daughter, and daughter-in-law will encounter.
Anxiety is certainly there, but "anti-anxiety" may be more of an instinct in the bones.
If our life is compared to the four seasons, then middle age is the autumn of harvest, the best time of our lives.
During this time, the most important thing we should do is to spend more time on ourselves like farmers who rush to harvest.
Infinite internal friction will only waste our limited energy and make us miss this crucial "harvest season".
Therefore, stopping mental internal friction is the top way for middle-aged women to maintain their health.
Make a "break" for your own mind and get rid of the unimportant chores in life;
Add a "big skylight" to your state of mind, open the shackles of life, and see the vastness of the world;
Put a "faucet" on your own time, and let your time and energy flow to beautiful people and things.
Always remember: as long as you are strong, everything else is superfluous.
When encountering things, you can think about it and see it thoroughly, don't get entangled or repeat it afterwards, and meet everything that is coming with the most calm attitude.
For the rest of your life, may you have no restraints in your heart, no attachment to your will, and strive to go to the life you want and live as you like.
Finally, I would like to share a small poem written by Chaplin, the king of comedy, when he was 70 years old:
When I really started to love myself, I realized that I was always in the right place, at the right time, and everything was happening just right.
I was at peace with that.
When I really started to love myself, I started to stay away from all the unhealthy things, whether it was diet and people, things and circumstances.
Today I understand that this is 'self-love'.