As an emotional coach, Tommy often encounters many women who come to him for help, who are confused about whether their relationship is healthy and whether there is a possibility of being manipulated.
In my career, I have witnessed many cases of emotional manipulation, especially those that seem mundane on the surface, but in fact imply manipulative means.
Today, I'd like to share some insights on mental manipulation in relationships to help women who may be in this predicament recognize and cope with potential emotional threats.
In romantic relationships, emotional manipulation is often overlooked, especially when it comes in the form of mental manipulation. A lot of women may not realize that their boyfriends are mentally manipulating them in subtle ways.
This manipulation may manifest itself as seemingly harmless Xi but actually has a serious impact on women's mental health and emotional well-being.
First of all, it needs to be clear that mental manipulation is not always obvious. It is often hidden in everyday actions and conversations, making it difficult for the victim to notice.
According to behavioral psychology, this manipulation often involves a complex series of mental games designed to control and influence the thoughts and emotions of the other party.
1. Emotional isolation
Emotional isolation is a classic manifestation of mental manipulation. This is usually manifested in the man's attempt to cut off the woman's contact with the outside world, including family, friends, and even work relationships.
The story of Li Hua and Xiaoling (not their real names) provides a classic case of emotional isolation. Xiaoling was originally a socially active girl with an extensive circle of friends and close family ties.
However, since dating Li Hua, all this has gradually changed. At first, Li Hua's request seemed very reasonable, and he often said, "Let's just eat for the two of us tonight, I want to be alone with you." Xiaoling felt needed and agreed.
But gradually, such requests became more and more frequent. Whenever Xiaoling proposed to go out with friends, Li Hua always seemed depressed, and even questioned: "Do you feel happier with your friends than with me?"
Xiao Ling began to feel guilty, she didn't want to make Li Hua feel unhappy, so she gradually reduced her contact with the outside world.
From a psychological point of view, this behavior is a classic form of "emotional control". It enhances the victim's sense of dependence by reducing the victim's social network, thus making the victim more susceptible to manipulation.
Studies have shown that this isolation can lead to a decrease in the victim's self-esteem and in turn a greater dependence on the partner.
2. Emotional blackmail
Emotional blackmail is another common means of mental manipulation. This behavior is often manifested by one party using emotional threats to control the other party's actions or decisions.
The story of Zhang Qiang and Xiaoli (not their real names) reveals a common pattern of emotional blackmail. Xiaoli is an independent woman who has her own career plan and lifestyle.
However, in her relationship with Zhang Qiang, she found herself increasingly giving up her personal will. Whenever Xiaoli expressed her thoughts, Zhang Qiang would refute with "If you really love me, you won't..."
For example, when Xiaoli proposed that she wanted to go abroad for further study, Zhang Qiang said: "If you leave, it means that you don't love me at all." Faced with this emotional kidnapping, Xiaoli felt great pressure and gradually began to give up her dreams just to maintain the relationship.
According to an article in the journal Psychology Today, emotional blackmail is a form of "emotional blackmail" that exploits people's fear of losing a loved one.
Long-term emotional blackmail can lead to a gradual loss of self-worth and independence among victims.
3. Atmosphere maker
The third form of mind manipulation is to become an "atmosphere maker". In this case, the manipulator influences the psychological state of the victim by controlling the emotional atmosphere in the environment.
The relationship between Wang Lei and Xiaofang (pseudonym) embodies the mental manipulation of becoming an "atmosphere maker". Wang Lei is a person with a lot of mood swings, and his emotions often determine the atmosphere in the relationship between the two. When he is happy, everything is harmonious;
But once the mood is bad, the whole home is like being hit by a storm. Xiao Fang gradually learned to read words and looks, and she was careful to avoid any actions that might anger Wang Lei.
For example, once, when Xiaofang and her friends went out and returned late, Wang Lei angrily accused her of ignoring her family. Since then, Xiaofang has hardly gone out with her friends, just to avoid angering Wang Lei.
According to the Journal of Behavioral Psychology, this behavior is an emotionally manipulative strategy designed to make the victim feel unstable and confused so that it can be easily controlled.
Being in such an environment for a long time, the victim may develop a behavior pattern called "step-by-step", keeping an eye on their partner's mood changes and trying to adapt by changing their behavior.
How should women respond to these mental manipulations?
First of all, recognizing and understanding these behaviors is the key to manipulation. Women need to realize that their feelings and needs are just as important and should not be sacrificed for their partner's misconduct.
Building and maintaining one's own social network, keeping in touch with family and friends, is essential for maintaining one's independence and self-esteem.
In addition, learning to stand your ground and articulate your needs and feelings is an important part of maintaining a healthy relationship.
If you find it difficult, it is essential to seek counselling or professional help.
Recognizing and coping with mental manipulation in a relationship is an important part of maintaining one's mental health and emotional well-being. By understanding the common forms of manipulation and coping strategies, women can better protect themselves and maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.
If you're struggling in your relationship, or need further advice and help, feel free to DM Tommy "emotionally". Together, we can find solutions to these problems.