Lu Yao's Novel Serial: Life (19)

The storm that Gogarin had a premonition had finally arrived, and a fierce inner struggle was inevitable. Although he was only twenty-four years old, he was no longer a so-so man; And they are often more complex in their thoughts and feelings than those of young people of his age.

He's making a very serious decision.

There is no doubt that when Huang Yaping and Liu Qiaozhen are compared together, the imbalance is obvious - in his initial consideration, the tendency is on the sidelines.

Of course, he wanted to combine with Huang Yaping. He now feels that Huang Yaping and him are suitable in all aspects. She is educated, intelligent, has good family conditions, and is a beautiful southern girl. There is a charm that is very mysterious to him. Local girls like Qiaozhen, especially rural girls, are very familiar to him and can see the bottom at a glance. He thinks they are simple and often monotonous. However, Huang Yaping understands and doesn't understand. Although there are many contacts together, she seems to have countless more things that he doesn't know. The difference in family background and economic conditions, different living circumstances and personal experiences make them naturally separated by something, which only adds to his sense of mystery about her. He felt that she was cloudy, and he couldn't approach her. The friendship in middle school was like a beautiful rainbow in the blue sky after a rain, which quickly disappeared and became an impression in memory. This impression had also come up to him by accident before, and made him feel as if he had lost some sorrow; But then it quickly disappeared without a trace...

Now, all of a sudden, these fissalines that had been fantasized about in the past have suddenly become something tangible. Huang Yaping has already expressed love to him. As long as he wants now, he will live another life with her □! O life, life! Sometimes it turns reality into a dream, and sometimes it turns a dream into a reality!

But he can't help but seriously consider his relationship with Qiaozhen. He and she have been passionately in love for some time. Qiao Zhen loves her, no worse than Kenan Ai Yaping. The difference is that Yaping says that she has no feelings for Kenan, and that he loves Qiaozhen deep down. Qiaozhen's beauty and kindness, affection and gentleness, selflessness and wholehearted love first awakened his latent youth; ignited the flame of love in him. All this, he is very grateful to her in his heart - because with her, although he had other troubles in the previous period, how rich he was in his love life... Now, when Huang Yaping expressed his love to him and was ready to let him go to work in Nanjing with her, he linked love with his future. He thought: Qiaozhen will not have much development in the future, except for being an excellent rural housewife. If he had been a farmer for the rest of his life, he would have been satisfied with the combination of Qiaobiao. But now that he is a "public family", he will marry Qiaozhen in the future, and he rarely has the interest of living together; And it's hard to have a common language anymore: he thinks about writing articles, and Qiaozhen can only talk about her mother-in-law in the countryside. The last time she came to see him, he was visibly moved by distress. Besides, if he marries Qiaozhen, he will actually be chained to this county seat; And his yearning is very high and far. As soon as he came to work in the county, he thought that he would never be able to stay here for the rest of his life; To go far and fly high, to develop your future in a big place... Now, it's all up to him to say yes.

He thought about it repeatedly, and felt that he couldn't delay this important turning point in his life for the sake of Qiaozhen's love - this may be the turning point that determines the fate of his entire life! Not only that, but from the perspective of finding a lover, Yaping may also be much more ideal than Qiaozhen! Although he has not been in love with Yaping like Qiaozhen, he feels that it must be better, richer and more colorful!

After weighing everything, he has decided to cut off relations with Qiaozhen and fly away with Yaping! Of course, his conscience is very disturbed - he is not a heinous villain! On the Konan side, he thinks very little, mainly on Qiaozhen's side. He walked in circles in his kiln like a madman; pounding the desk with your fists; Hit your head against the wall... Later, he forced himself not to think in this direction. He mocked himself in his heart and said, "You're a bastard!" You don't have a conscience anymore, what do you want to do with your conscience..."He tried to harden his heart as hard as he could, and warned himself through gritted teeth: Don't look back! Don't be weak! Sacrifices must be made for the sake of a great future! Sometimes you have to be cruel to yourself! Now, this person who has an "iron heart" is beginning to consider the way he and Qiaozhen broke off their relationship. He expected it to be a heart-rending scene, and he wanted to say goodbye to the past in a very brief way. What distressed him was that Qiaozhen couldn't read a word, otherwise, writing a letter to him was the best way to break off diplomatic relations; This may avoid face-to-face pain.

So he stayed in bed all day, thinking about how he could cut ties with Qiaozhen.

Huang Yaping lost no time in coming and asked him how he was thinking about it?

He hesitated for a while before he roughly explained his relationship with Qiaozhen to Yaping. After Huang Yaping heard this, she didn't speak for a long time. Later, with a look of surprise, she said, "You originally wanted to marry an illiterate rural woman in the countryside?" ”

"Hmm." Garin nodded affirmatively.

"It's nothing short of self-destructive! How can you, a literate high school student with a lot of talent, marry an illiterate rural woman? I don't understand what you were thinking! ”

"Shut up!" Garin suddenly jumped up from the bed angrily, "I was full of yellow dust at that time, a flat-topped common man, which of you city ladies will love me?" ”

Yaping was suddenly frightened by his anger, and said for a long time: "You are so fierce! Cunan has never been so angry with me! ”

"You're looking for your Konan!" Garin lay down on the bunk at once, and closed his eyes. A new annoyance came to my mind. He also thought to himself, "Humph! Qiaozhen never spoke to me like that... After a while, Yaping came to his bedside and gently pushed his hand on his shoulder. Gogarin opened his eyes and saw tears glistening in her eyes.

He was still angry and ignored her.

Yaping's voice was a little excited: "Garin! Don't be angry! When you get angry at me, I'm not angry, but happy! You don't know, Zhang Kenan, you can't get angry even if you put a knife on his neck! Sometimes, I really want to make this person angry, Meimei sends me a fire and scolds me, but no matter how you scold him and ridicule him, he always smiles at you, and people can only cry when they are angry. I just like your character! Manly, big husband, strong in blood..."

Gogarin could not yet know whether what she said was true or made up for the sake of reconciliation with him. But when he saw Yaping's two crooked thin eyebrows, a pair of eyes with tears in his eyes, his heart softened, and he said, "I have a bad temper... In the future, you may not be able to stand living together. ”

"Garin!" Yaping grabbed him by the shoulder and asked, "Then you mean, you are willing to live with me?" He nodded to her in a trance.

Yaping sat down on the edge of the bed and sat next to him. Gayao quickly moved his body away. For some reason, he suddenly remembered Qiaozhen again at this moment. He felt that he couldn't accept Huang Yaping's way of expressing his feelings at this moment.

Gao Jialin was silent for a while, and then said to Yaping: "I have to talk to Qiaozhen about this matter... To tell you the truth, I feel very uncomfortable... I beg your pardon for not wanting to lie to you. "Yes, you should end your misfortune soon!"

"It could also be an unfortunate end!" He answered her like a fatalist.

"I'm easy to do with Knan, I'll just write him a letter. Emotionally, I didn't suffer anything in particular, just sympathy and pity for him. He really loves me...", "Kernan is going to be miserable," Garin sighed.

"I don't think about it now, I'm thinking about my parents right now. They like Kenan wholeheartedly, and they are all old cadres, and their moral concepts are completely in the past...""Your parents will definitely not accept me!" They want to be the right person! I, the son of a common man, will dishonor their dignity! Garin shouted again in a sudden rage.

Yaping said in a very gentle tone: "Look at you, you're losing your temper again." Actually, my parents are not necessarily like that, the key is that they think that I have been with Kenan for a long time, and the whole city knows that the relationship between the two families is very deep, I'm afraid..."

"Then forget it!" Garin interrupted her.

Huang Yaping cried all of a sudden, stood up and said, "Garin! Don't lose your temper like that, okay? I'm in charge of my business! My parents will definitely respect my choice in the end... Now the only thing I want to know is, do you love me or not! Don't you want to be nice to me! As she spoke, she sat down firmly beside him...

When Huang Yaping returned home, her parents, who had been on time, had already fallen asleep in their room. She went into her house, turned on the light, sat down in a chair in front of the table, did nothing, sat quietly - her heart was pounding!

She immediately stood up again and stood in front of the mirror for a moment. She saw herself smiling.

She lay on the bed again; Lie down and sit up immediately.

She stood in the middle of her feet, not knowing what to do; Thoughts fall like waves, splashing water. First, a series of fragments of the past were reflected in front of me; Then there are all the details of what just happened from beginning to end, and then there are all kinds of fantasy shots of the future... It wasn't until she finished washing her face that her brain cooled a little.

Definitely going to have insomnia again at night. Insomnia is insomnia! Anyway, she wasn't on duty tomorrow morning, and the other person was broadcasting, and she could sleep at home - as for whether she would be able to fall asleep tomorrow morning, she wasn't sure.

So, what to do now? Write a letter to Kern? Or a "statement" to parents? My parents were already asleep. So, write to Kenan first!

As soon as she took the letterhead, envelope, and pen, she immediately changed her mind again: no! Let's talk to my parents first! This is the main thing! It's better to let them know sooner!

So she opened her door and went out of the yard.

The sleepless man was also determined not to let her parents sleep.

She knocked on her parents' door and cried, "Father, mother, get up and come over me!" I have something important to tell you! ”

The lights inside turned on, and a nervous sigh was heard. The wayward daughter who was standing outside pursed her lips and smiled at this time, and returned to her house.

Her mother came first. Then her father stumbled into her room while putting on his coat. Both of them nervously asked her, "What's wrong?" ”

Huang Yaping saw that her parents were so nervous, she couldn't help laughing at first, and then became serious again, saying, "Don't be nervous. It's not urgent, but it's a bit of a shock! ”

The father glared at her, and before he could react to his wayward little baby, why he called his old couple up in the middle of the night.

Her mother rubbed her eyes and said to her, "Oh, what a Pingping!" Tell me anything! You're killing people! ”

Huang Yaping thought for a moment and said, "It's very complicated, but I'll talk about it first tonight." I won't tell you the details in the future, but you'll ask about it too... Yes, I'm already married to another gay guy and am already in a relationship; That's why I'm going to cut ties with Kernen...""What? What the? What the? ......”

Her parents got up from where they were sitting and looked at their daughter in panic. "For me, that can't be changed. I know you love Kernan, but I don't like him—" There was a long silence. It took her father a long time to come to his senses, swallowed with difficulty, and said sadly, "You didn't bring Kenan back in the first place?" It's been more than two years, and the whole city knows it! Me and Lao Zhang, your mother and Kenan's mother, this relationship... Oh my God, you wayward thing! Your mother and I spoiled you, and now you make us sad like this—" The old man beat his chest, and his thick lips trembled like the wings of a bee.

Her mother was already crying on her bed.

Her father, though he loved her more than himself, seemed to be really angry tonight, and started a fire violently: "You are typical bourgeois thinking!" What a sorrow it is for you young people to be now! Beat Generation! The lawless generation! The revolution will be buried in your hands! "The old man's feelings are too impulsive, and he will pour out any excessive words! Huang Yaping fell on the table and cried. Her father had never scolded her like that; She couldn't stand it all at once.

When the mother saw her daughter crying, she also cried, and came over to count the old man: "It's just that Pingping is wrong, you can't yell at my doll like this..."

"It's all spoiled by you!" The old soldier roared.

"You're not used to it?" Yaping's mother also shouted.

Yaping's father twisted around and went out. After going out, he didn't go back to the house, but stood in the yard, took out a paper cigarette, knocked it on the cigarette case, and didn't light it. Yaping stood up, pushed her mother out of the house with both hands, and then closed the door. She went over and took a towel to wipe the tears from her face, then sat down at the table and began to write to Kernen—

Knan:

For the sake of our both, I must tell you: I am already in love with Garin, and our relationship should now be severed; In the future, as in the past, I still want to be good classmates and comrades. I know you're going to be miserable. But you should think about it, it's not worth it to suffer for a woman who doesn't love you. You should look for someone who truly loves you. I'm sure you'll find someone like that. I wish you happiness.

You yourself should know that I had a good relationship with Garin when I was a sample. Now I feel like the person I really love is him, not you. In the past, the two of us developed a relationship because of your timely care for me, which touched me. But it's not love. You're a good person and a wonderful person. Don't let me affect your development. Don't hate the woods. If you think you've been hurt, it's all about one person; It's me who pursues Garin, you hate me!

I thank you forever from the bottom of my heart. I will also tell you: of all my friendly friends besides love, you are my first friend. If you can forgive me, then I ask you to bless me.

Yaping wrote in a hurry