Even if many people get married, they subconsciously always habitually put the original family in the first place, and the first thing to consider is always the needs of parents and meeting the needs of parents, so as to ignore the needs of their partners.
Perhaps they do not feel that their practice is problematic, but think that it is filial piety to their parents, and what is even more disagreeable is that they also like to ask their partner to be filial with them, and forget to think about whether it is reasonable.
In the family, whether it is a man or a woman, if they can't distinguish between the importance and the heavy, they will eventually be unable to avoid the breakdown of the relationship, and even the separation of the wife.
35-year-old Deng Yong is exactly this type of person, during the National Day holiday, his wife just gave birth to a second child and was in confinement, but he dropped 1,000 cash and took his parents out for a trip.
Seven days later, when he rushed home with his parents, he found that the door had been changed and his wife's mobile phone was turned off.
Deng Yong is the only child in the family, his hometown is in Chongqing, his parents are ordinary farmers, and there is an uncle who has always played singles.
After graduating from university, Deng Yong went south to Shenzhen to work, he worked as a salesman, sold insurance, and set up a stall, perhaps just out of society, full of blood he always said: there is no money that cannot be earned, only people who will not make money.
After hitting walls everywhere, in order to fill his stomach, he had to succumb to reality and enter the factory as a documentary assistant.
Perhaps unwilling to be mediocre, or wanting to change his life and realize his life value, two years later, Deng Yong took out a bank loan to buy a pickup truck and signed a five-year contract with the company.
At that time, many people advised him not to take risks, saying: if you have a job, you can do it well, then at least you can still guarantee income from drought and flood, and you still owe money to the bank to buy a car, what if you lose money?
Deng Yong said directly: What are you afraid of if you lose, it's a big deal to do it for a few years, besides, I have nothing, where can I lose money? People live all their lives, and if they don't do anything, I think that's a real loss.
The pickup truck is not only Deng Yong's tool to run to the future, but also his confidence to change his life, since then, Deng Yong can be said to be full of energy, although most of the day is either out of the car or loading and unloading, the spirit is highly nervous, but Deng Yong's spirit is very good.
His only thought is to get money, in addition to paying off the car loan, but also to save a bride price for himself.
It is said that "the emperor does not pay off", Deng Yong spent most of the year to finally pay off the loan, he was happy, but also wept for the hardship he had endured for most of the year.
No one can understand how much pressure he is under, and no one can know how he came to be here, and now he can finally breathe a sigh of relief and have hope in life.
Two years later, Deng tied the knot with the daughter of another truck owner, and with the help of the woman's parents, he paid for a small three-bedroom apartment, and he also had his own home in the city.
After getting married, Deng Yong drove his pickup truck back and forth between factories as usual, and after his wife took maternity leave, Deng Yong originally wanted to make his wife a full-time wife, but his wife sent the child back to her mother's house, and she herself returned to work in the company.
The wife always said: We have no parents to rely on, let alone brothers and sisters to help, only can rely on ourselves, now, not only to pay the mortgage, but also to raise children, how can we do it without working hard?
In fact, the wife is reluctant to send the child to her mother's house, but like all parents, she wants to give the child a better living environment, and she wants to save more security for the child.
She set herself a 3-year deadline, and after 3 years, she would take the child with her, but maybe it was a natural beauty, and before 3 years, her wife was pregnant with a second child.
Although the second child was caught off guard, it was a big surprise for Deng Yong, but after the joy, it also made him feel more pressure.
In order to welcome the birth of the baby and so that his wife could be better taken care of, Deng Yong let his parents rush from his hometown in advance.
Originally, the baby was born before the Mid-Autumn Festival, which can be regarded as a big reunion, but for Deng Yong's family, it is a shortcoming.
While the family was immersed in a joyful atmosphere, Deng Yong's parents suddenly proposed to go outside.
The old father said: Everyone says that my son makes a lot of money outside, let me talk about what is going on outside, but I have never been anywhere, it makes people laugh when I say it, no, everyone has a holiday, just have time to go around, and I can also talk about it when I return to the village in the future.
The old mother said: The old man knows to find trouble, I said why spend that money, it is better to eat better with that money, buy milk powder for your grandson, besides, you don't look at what time it is, the daughter-in-law is in confinement, is it time to go out and play?
The old father said again: I used to always say that I was busy, I didn't have time, I finally had a holiday, but when do I have to wait if I don't go now? Besides, can't you let your in-laws come over? If you're embarrassed to say, let me tell you.
The old mother then retorted: How can there be a reason why you run to play but let your in-laws take the children? You also don't want to think about what your daughter-in-law will think of you then? Isn't this embarrassing for the son?
After eating the reunion dinner, he handed his wife 2,000 cash and said to his wife: Their biggest wish in this life is to go outside and see, as children, we should fulfill our dreams for them.
The wife said: Is it important for them to fulfill their dreams, or is it important for your wife and children?
In order to dispel Deng Yong's thoughts, his wife lowered her posture and said: It's not that I don't let you go out to play, let alone be reluctant to spend money, but now under special circumstances, I'm in confinement, the child is so young, we can't do without you, can you bear to leave us and take your parents to travel?
Deng Yong said: It's not easy for them to raise me, and they still provide me with books, I haven't done anything for them, now, they just want to go out and play, such a low requirement, why can't they meet them?
The couple had a fierce quarrel, and in the end, Deng Yong still packed his luggage and went out with his parents.
Deng Yong may never have dreamed that an ordinary outing in his eyes would cause his wife to be separated.
And just when he took his parents to take photos all the way, sent a circle of friends all the way, and sighed all the way: there are too many people, it is better to take the children at home, his wife not only took the child back to her mother's house, but also changed the lock of the door of the house.
Seven days later, when Deng Yong took his parents and the three of them were tired but still excited, calling his wife's name and trying to get her to open the door, they could not hear her response.
Deng Yong felt a little bad, he quickly took out the key, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't open the door, and he had to admit that the door was locked.
This fact is like a basin of cold water, pulling the three from their state of excitement to reality, and also dousing the enthusiasm of the three.
Deng Yong called his wife for the first time, but his wife's phone prompted to turn off, and now Deng Yong panicked, and there was no more righteousness a few days ago.
The three were originally tired and hungry, but now they couldn't go back home, so Deng Yong could only take his parents to a hotel while trying to find a way to contact his wife.
When he learned from his sister-in-law that his wife had returned to her mother's house, Deng Yong couldn't care about anything, and quickly chased her to her mother's house, wanting to bring his wife and children back.
But when he chased him to his mother's house, his wife did not want to see him, and threatened to divorce him, saying that a man who only has parents in his eyes, can't do things clearly, and doesn't have his own man, it's better to stop the loss in time and live their own life as soon as possible.
Deng Yong never thought of divorcing his wife, let alone now that he has two children, if not for this, he can be said to have a double harvest in his career and family.
Finally, he begged his mother-in-law to help him so that he could communicate well with his wife.
After seeing his wife as he wished, he apologized to her and gave her the ancestral bracelet, hoping that her would forgive him.
His wife may have been heartbroken by what he had done, and she was reluctant to go home with him, and said that she would let him leave the house.
Deng Yong was so anxious by his wife that he couldn't go to work at all, the old couple may not bear to see their son and wife separated, or they may have a bad conscience, and finally, they took the initiative to go to their daughter-in-law's house, lowered their posture and begged their daughter-in-law not to divorce, and promised to help bring up the baby in the future.
The daughter-in-law said: I don't need you to help me bring the baby, I can bring it myself if I can give birth, after all, the boss is not brought up by you.
Seeing that the family was about to disperse, Deng Yong really regretted it, and he asked his wife how to go home with him?
The wife puts forward two conditions:
1. Not living with in-laws.
The second and second sons take their mother's surname.
Deng Yong did not want to agree to any of the conditions proposed by his wife, just take the first condition, his parents only have one son, if they don't live with him, who else can they live with?
Let's talk about the second condition, where there is a child with the mother's surname, and he is not a son-in-law, why should he let the child take the mother's surname, and if the younger son follows the mother, then it is not equivalent to the younger son giving it to others and inheriting it for others.
But Deng Yong knew in his heart that this was his last chance, if he didn't agree, he would really be separated, and if he divorced, he might not find such a good object as his wife, the key is that his son is more likely to call others "daddy".
After some calculation, Deng Yong finally relented.
Friends, what would you do if the roles were reversed?