After 15-year-old skateboarding genius Chen Ye won the Asian Games, I quit my son's 5 interest classes overnight

To stimulate children's vitality, parents' encouragement and support are indispensable.

Instead of blindly imposing too much expectation on the child, what we should do is to help him find a love that will last for a long time.

Author | Coke Mama

Did everyone watch the Asian Games?

Recently, my son and I watched the Asian Games whenever we had time, and we became a fan of 15-year-old Guangdong athlete Chen Ye.

Spun, jump, soar...

On the afternoon of September 25, 2023, after offering a series of wonderful moves, Chen Ye won the skateboard men's bowl finals with a near-perfect performance.

And this is also the first gold medal won by the Chinese team in the skateboarding world series.

From contact skateboarding to world champion, Chen Ye only took 7 years.

Looking back at my son, who was sitting next to me watching the game: I signed him up for five or six interest classes, from calligraphy and painting to piano and recorder to programming, Lego...

But he is always a "you let me learn, I will learn, I don't pay attention anyway".

The same are in interest classes, why can other people's children turn interest into trophies, and I have worked hard to cultivate, and the money has not been spent, but I have cultivated a "worthless" child?

It wasn't until I watched Chen Ye's father's interview that I finally found the answer.

On Chen Ye's road to chasing his dream, there is a figure who always accompanies him, that is, his father - Chen Playqin.

Recalling his son's relationship with skateboarding, Chen said that all this actually stemmed from a "gambling contract".

It was New Year's Day in 2016, and Chen Ye, who was less than 8 years old at the time, touched a skateboard in the mall for the first time, and after a simple trial of it, he immediately liked it.

He said to his father, "Dad, how about you buy me a skateboard?" ”

Chen Qianqin did not immediately agree, because before this, he had also brought his son to many projects, such as table tennis, piano, guitar... But my son couldn't hold on.

So this time, Chen Playqin proposed: "When you want to play, I will take you to the mall to play." ”

Unexpectedly, on New Year's Day, my son basically went every day.

After persisting like this for a month, Chen saw his son's love for skateboarding and finally bought him a piece.

Later, he promised his son: If you can last for half a year, I will fully support you.

And this time, Chen Ye proved his determination to his father with actions.

Seeing his son so serious, Chen Playqin also decided to play for real:

There was no skateboard shop nearby, so he simply rented a shop by himself and specialized in selling skateboards;

Without a professional coach, he took his son to watch the teaching video together, gradually broke down the movements, and guided his son to train hand-in-hand.

Later, he understood his son's psychology, movements and problems even better than professional coaches.

With no one to accompany his son to train, he dissolved the film and television studio he had opened before and accompanied his son full-time to pursue his dreams.

What is even more impressive is that Chen Qianqin also specially built a bowl pool for his son.

At that time, there was no professional bowl pool in Zhongshan City, so in order to allow his son to have a professional training ground near his home, Chen decided to build a bowl pool by himself.

He took a fancy to a warehouse of more than 200 square meters, but after seeing the quotation for construction, he was dumbfounded: 300,000.

He couldn't take out that much money at all, but thinking of his son's shining eyes, Chen Yuqin was unwilling to give up.

So, he started from scratch, learned to saw wood on his own, and built the structure of the bowl and pond little by little.

In this way, half a year later, Chen Qianqin, who had exhausted all his savings, actually made the bowl pool.

With the company and guidance of his father, although Chen Ye was exposed to skateboarding for a short time, he made rapid progress:

He entered the provincial team in 2019 and participated in the National Games in 2021, 13-year-old Chen Ye won the second place in the men's bowl pool in one fell swoop.

In order to cooperate with his son's training, Chen Qianqin re-selected the site last year and once again built a skatepark with an area of 900 square meters and a maximum height of 9 meters for his son.

As Chen Qianqin himself said:

I will always support my child's interest, even if it seems of little practical use at the moment.

People marvel at the talents and achievements of teenagers, but few can see through the glittering resume how a father has done everything he can to protect a seemingly useless interest in his children.

Looking at myself, all this time, all I have done is to arbitrarily sign up for classes and pay money for my children.

After handing over his son to the teacher of the interest class, he left it alone.

As for whether children like it or not, whether they want to learn or not, I rarely pay attention.

Bill Gates once said:

"The only thing parents should do for their children is to find their children's passions, encourage them to pursue it with all their strength, and play it to the fullest."

If you think about it, what really pushes a person to constantly challenge themselves and continue to forge ahead may never be the persecution of parents, but the strong internal drive that the child himself bursts out.

And this power often requires parents to awaken and protect.

But the biggest failure of many parents is precisely to turn "useless" into a yardstick to measure whether their children should learn or not.

I don't want to see children focus on "useless" things, and I don't accept children who haven't made achievements at the moment.

And myself, is one of them.

In the past, my eyes when I looked at my son were always full of disgust.

In my eyes, studying is the right thing, doing Olympiad problems is the right thing, and memorizing English words is the right thing.

But my son likes to read Jin Yong, likes to fiddle with the small appliances at home, likes to study the plants and insects in the community...

Therefore, I always nagged him: "I know all day long that it is useless to engage in these things, they are all in junior high school, and they don't know to put their minds on learning." ”

I always impose on him what I think is good:

Forced him to learn calligraphy, because writing may have extra points during the exam;

forced him to study music, thinking that in case the cultural class did not work, he could still take the path of an art student;

Forced him to learn programming, because artificial intelligence is the general direction in the future.

But the more I pressed, the more my son was not attentive, signed up for countless interest classes, and did not have the same specialties, and even appeared to be depressed.

For a while, whether I lost my temper with him or reasoned with him, he was indifferent, but cried and said:

"It's useless for you to force me, I just don't want to learn, otherwise let me die, one hundred!"

My son's words made me shiver.

At this moment, I suddenly thought of the words of the writer Chen Danqing:

"The ultimate goal of education is to induce people's creative power and awaken the sense of life and value. Once children receive more trust and expectations, their inner motivation will be stimulated, and they will be smarter, more capable, and more savvy. ”

In fact, every child is born with the motivation to grow.

Instead of creating "useful" children, we should protect the true love of children.

In this way, they can have a steady stream of power like a small motor.

"Where does a child's self-discipline come from?

From the moment he began to love the world, from the moment he began to like himself, from the moment he began to identify with the right way to open something, his self-discipline and internal drive were born from the bottom of his heart. ”

Yes, children's achievements are never forced by their parents.

Truly wise parents are actually like Chen Ye's father, who knows how to awaken their children's love.

Looking back at Chen Ye's road to winning the championship, I found a golden formula that stimulates children's internal drive:

1. Add a little "routine" to make things attractive.

When Chen Ye first came into contact with skateboarding, he showed great interest, but his father did not buy it directly for him, but let him go to the mall to try it first.

After making sure that his son was not hot for three minutes, he let his son own skateboard.

Later, he used the method of "gambling" to keep his son interested and curious about skateboarding.

It turns out that this series of routines really works.

If we want our child to stick to something, the most important thing to do is to make it attractive and turn it into something to look forward to.

For example, we found that children have a talent for music and want to focus on it.

You can first intentionally or unintentionally play some songs or dance videos to your child, and when the child takes the initiative to learn, properly "routine":

"Learning an instrument requires daily practice, we can buy a second-hand one first, and if you can last for three months, we will buy you a new one."

In this way, learning will become an attractive thing for children, and children will cherish opportunities more.

2. Add some "feedback" to give your child motivation to move forward.

Behavioral design expert He Shengjun once shared his parenting experience:

Previously, my son did not like to write.

In order to make his son complete his essay on time, He Shengjun bought him a large number of reference books and often inspired him around, but to no avail.

Until one time, he sent his son's hard to finish small essay to the circle of friends, and received a lot of likes and praise.

My son was greatly encouraged, and since then, he has taken the initiative to write articles from time to time and posted them on the Internet, and his interest in writing has been greatly stimulated.

That's the power of positive feedback.

And Chen Ye's growth history is the same.

The father did not just let Chen Ye laugh at himself, but took his son to participate in big and small competitions and let him get feedback from the competition.

On weekdays, we can also record more children's efforts and achievements, so that children feel paid attention to and recognized.

So as to subtly change his every move and awaken the awakening of the child's vitality.

3. Maintain a sense of relaxation and establish a positive emotional connection with your child.

When talking about his son's education, Dad Chen emphasized:

The son's grades are by no means "rolled", quite the opposite, the most important thing is patience and relaxation.

So he does his best to support the child's love, but does not require the child to "necessarily succeed".

"I expect him to be as interested in more things as I am," he said. ”

This reminds me of a sentence that Gu Ailing's mother said to her:

"You don't have to take Stanford, you don't have to win a championship, the most important thing is to always be curious and never give up learning for the rest of your life."

When Gu Ailing lost the competition, she would not blame, but hugged her daughter tightly and said, "I am proud of you." ”

Perhaps it is this precious sense of relaxation in parents that allows children to have the calmness to face failure and a strong desire to win.

There is a saying that goes, "Love is the most powerful force in the world." Its power lies in its ability to connect with everything from within, and to penetrate deep into everything. ”

Parents' patience and relaxation allow parents and children to establish a positive and stable emotional connection, and also allow children to explore the world with a more courageous attitude.

If you were to be a child again, how would you like to grow up?

There are always people with a whip and pointing viciously at a place and saying, "Go there, that's where you're going, if you want to go somewhere else, I'll break your leg!" ”

I still hope that someone will gently touch your head and tell you: "The world is big, the future is beautiful, you just have to move forward boldly, I will always be behind you." ”

In fact, we all know what the correct answer is, but sometimes we are blinded by anxiety.

Thinking of this, I decided to quit the hobby classes that I forced my son to attend tomorrow.

After all, a child spends his life living the way he likes.

Give it a like, I hope we can all ignite the fire in the child's heart, let him shine because of his love, and live as a champion in his life.

Resources:

1, WSJ Chinese version: "Skateboarding became an Olympic sport, he built a bowl pool for his son"

2, Xinhua News Agency: "Champion! He's only 15 years old."

3, Southern People Weekly: "Interview with 15-year-old Asian Games champion Chen Ye: "Don't give up, try more"