Xiao Yaxuan is haggard, Yi Nengjing "teaches publicly", "little genius in love" This is a replacement?

Which sister's love heart sutra is the most reliable?

The "little genius in love" quietly changed hands

The guest of the latest issue of "Mao Xuewang" is Ms. Yi Nengjing, who wears a flowing white gauze skirt, long hair hanging down her shoulders, speaks softly, and mingles with two "children" who are no more than thirty, and it is completely impossible to see that she is a fifty-four-year-old old-timer.

The spring-faced Yi Nengjing not only chatted about broken days in the show this time, but turned into a love mentor, personally taught off the single strategy on the spot, and answered difficult questions such as "should I ask my current ex".

A post-production director who claimed that he would not chat with boys "practiced" on the spot according to her words, and really changed the embarrassing situation of "conversation always frozen" and "he always got no response", and Li Xueqin, who witnessed the miracle on the side, was directly excited to stump in speech.

It is not ruled out that there is an element of the effect of the program, but Yi Nengjing's "Love Book" is quite convincing, and it is to create an imaginary enemy for the boy he likes, to test whether he is interesting to himself by observing his reaction, and he is sitting on the co-pilot and taking something from the back seat, causing the inadvertent touch of the shoulders of both sides...

The concretization of the scenes and the vivid examples are not only practical guidance, but also not the boring and boring of following the book.

The words "showing weakness" and "altruism" that are repeatedly mentioned are also seamlessly compatible with Yi Nengjing's big double fish attributes and the deeply rooted image of "coquettish girl", which makes people feel that this is simply the actual combat experience of Wuli Jingjingzi, not a fist embroidery, not a patchwork of things, but a direct surge in reference index.

Of course, the most convincing thing is not the three words in these forty minutes, but her love achievements in the entertainment industry for more than 30 years.

It is said that your circle is really chaotic, looking around, crows and sparrows, fish and dragons are mixed, but your sister Jing is stunned to be able to sneak out two high-quality men with both talent and character, just looking at the man's vision can kill many peers in the circle in seconds.

The second paragraph does not need to be said, and and Meimei, the years are quiet, not only husband and wife love, but also in-laws kindness, children filial piety, if any media wants to evaluate a "happy star family TOP10", their family can definitely top the list.

In contrast, although the first paragraph is mixed with a lot of pain, it is not silky, but because it contains a variety of classic elements such as childhood sweethearts, male talents and female appearance, the eldest young master loves Cinderella, and the evil mother-in-law beats the mandarin duck, it has become a timeless circle story, miraculously archaeology on the whole network in 2023, which can be called the sweetest expired sugar of the year.

This is Yi Nengjing's sister's love report card: the twists and turns of BE aesthetics have been there, and the current world is stable, and some people have written unforgettable and splendid memories with it, and now there are also people who hold the hands of their sons and share their heads, how is it not a complete life?

It's not much, but the only two remaining segments are true hardcore.

And the previous "little genius in love" Xiao Yaxuan is just the opposite, there are more than a dozen predecessors known by the public, almost all of them are handsome men, including many handsome brothers who are more than ten years younger than her, although they all ended in a breakup, the duration is not long, but the victory is in quantity and quality, otherwise, "Xiao Yaxuan's happiness" will not become a popular hot terrier.

When watching "Bloody", many people in the barrage shouted "Sister come out soon", and I also sighed with emotion: This forgetful and ruthless audience, just a few years ago, you said the same to Xiao Yaxuan!

Three years in Hedong, three years in Hexi, the reincarnation of this "new person for the old man" in your circle is fast and cruel ~~

Thinking about it carefully, when did Xiao Yaxuan's title of "little genius in love" eclipse?

I can't say the specific node, it may be that she took her little boyfriend Huang Hao to fall in love, and the viewers found that the daily trivialities of the two were not as sweet as in the photos and MVs, and the "happiness after the sea" could not escape the curse of "easy to love and difficult to get along with";

It may also be from more than once showing people with a haggard face, just take the latest live broadcast, the eyes are dull, the expression is sluggish, as if the whole person is very tired, the face slimming function that is not turned off causes the face to be distorted, and at first glance I think I can't think of plastic surgery.

During the live broadcast, she said that she was single, had hip surgery last year, and is now in a difficult recovery period. When talking about the pain of the operation, she couldn't help but hide her face and cry.

She always seemed to be injured over the years, sometimes because of rehearsals, sometimes because of accidents, and she remembered the last time she was bitten in the face by a dog.

At the same time, she also revealed the good news that she will hold a concert in the mainland in August. However, looking at its state, there is no morale, only a struggle.

A few days after the live broadcast, two things happened:

One is about her ex-boyfriend Huang Hao, who quietly married with outsiders abroad. There is a saying that if the ex is doing well, your miserable energy will instantly expand tenfold;

Another news about his friend Li Min, whose depression and suicide are solid. Xiao Yaxuan expressed his grief and thoughts on social platforms for the first time, but the comment area was a watery "so you must be good".

The indomitable dashing miss and the impressive little genius in love seem to be like clouds in an instant, and now Elva Xiao Yaxuan's new title has become - the female star that worries the majority of netizens the most.

Dashing is a protective color, and love is a painkiller

Why did Xiao Yaxuan change like this?

Maybe it hasn't changed, but when time blows away the embellishment of youth, when luck and the protection of her elders gradually fall off, the background of her life is presented in the most naked appearance.

In other words, Xiao Yaxuan and Li Min are really a bit similar - they are very international, they have saved old injuries and new injuries, and they both have a strong mother, both of whom grew up in strict tutoring.

That's right, Xiao Yaxuan is a real "rich man", her grandfather is a successful businessman worth hundreds of millions, her mother Ye Xiuling is also the chairman of a listed company, and her father is also an entrepreneur.

However, when she was 5 years old, her parents chose to divorce because of emotional discord, and Xiao Yaxuan and her brother were sentenced to their mother, but her mother was busy with work, so she sent the siblings to live with her grandmother, who disciplined them very strictly.

At the same time, the mother's strong wrist has not really slackened. Later, Xiao Yaxuan wanted to debut as a singing and dancing artist, but was strongly opposed by his mother.

And at the age of 19, she simply carried out the rebellion to the end, not only insisted on it, but also said: "Without relying on her mother, you can become a singer yourself."

Who isn't a millennial babe

The following year, Xiao Yaxuan successfully debuted with the album of the same name, and instantly sold more than 500,000 copies in Taiwan, becoming the annual sales champion, so he became one of the top ten super popular singers, which can be described as the peak of his debut.

Although her mother acted as the first "roadblocker" in her acting career, she did not do less escort work, as she said "pet and limited", she naturally relied on and resisted her mother. As she said, when she was young, she wanted to pull the hand around her neck away, and later hoped that the hand would come back to pinch herself.

This point is the difference between her and Li Min: Li Min mentioned several times how difficult it is for her mother, and she has to do her best to repay her mother, showing a sense of guilt and responsibility, while the young Xiao Yaxuan's way of treating her mother is more inclined to rebellion against authority, transcendence and self-proof.

This forms a contradiction in her personality: on the one hand, the lack of long-term companionship of her parents when she was young has led to a lack of security in her heart, and she has always hidden a fragile little girl;

On the other hand, the confrontation with her mother and the need to establish herself made her have to be sharp and accustomed to maintaining a strong posture in the relationship and not admitting defeat. Her cool sister persona in the song and her public image all the time reflect and amplify this, and also perfectly cover the vulnerable side.

But the true absence of the human heart will eventually be revealed in intimate relationships.

Why does she need to be in a relationship all the time? It is to fill the black hole of security with eager gaze and affectionate tenderness again and again, and she herself has said that she hopes to find the feeling of being embraced by her mother from her other half.

However, she is habitually stubborn, and she must have enough control in the relationship to feel at ease, which is probably the reason why she likes to find a younger brother-type boyfriend all year round, young age, shallow social experience, average career or not yet started, not easy to have the idea of vainly trying to dominate her big sister + big star.

But the problem is that the obedient brother does not necessarily take care of people and be a mommy-type boyfriend, and he still wants to find a "mother", which is contrary to Xiao Yaxuan's desire to be a little baby in the relationship. It's good when you're in love, but when you save enough disappointment, the relationship is naturally difficult to continue.

So many boyfriends have become guests after all. Occasionally one or two would jump out and spit on her: capricious, a full-fledged princess, and emotional.

Alas, it can only be said that to fill that black hole of security, how can it be easily achieved by relying on others?

At the same time, for Xiao Yaxuan, the safest way to be better than a mother who represents authority is to pursue perfection.

Rebellious children are often like this, on the surface bohemian do not want their parents to care, in fact, they do not want them to be disappointed in their hearts, especially want to become their pride, the strictness of their parents suffocates them, but it has long been internalized into a ruler for discretion.

But the more demanding you are for perfection, the easier it is to usher in disappointment, because in reality there are always too many factors dragging your heels away from the so-called perfection, such as inertia, such as the limits of the body, and then such as the changes of times and circumstances. The more you can't let go of perfection, the more you have to spend a lot of willpower to resist many obstacles, and the more you have to overload your body with KPIs until your own energy is exhausted, until your body is full of physical condition.

So there is now this haggard Xiao Yaxuan, her haggardness is largely due to the imbalance of the input-output ratio.

In the past, with the blessing of the trend of the times and the industry atmosphere, there was the red qi of the youthful ambition to nurture people, there was the protection of the mother and Bo Le, and there was a steady stream of love, which could still ensure that her energy supply was abundant.

But later, the millennial music scene did not go away, the once brilliant divas basically lived a retired or semi-retired life, their mothers left, and they also reached the age of gradual physical exhaustion, and they couldn't hold it with more arms and legs.

Love still has to be talked about, the more regrets there are in life, the more beautiful the world built by love is like a dose of painkillers to dissolve bleakness.

As the French writer Duras said: Love for me is not a skin kiss, not a vegetable and a meal, it is an immortal desire, a heroic dream in a tired life.

Presumably, women who are not trapped by material things are more confident to define and weave their love with gorgeous heroic dreams, right?

But first, this heroic dream is fleeting, unless it can withstand the test of reality;

Second, falling in love is also exhausting, when love becomes a game that cannot make ends meet and lacks freshness, the consumption that the parties can feel is greater than the supply, the brilliance given to her by love will gradually disappear, and she will no longer be so happy to devote herself to it.

After Huang Hao, I didn't hear that Xiao Yaxuan had a new boyfriend, and she was probably tired of this game~~

Is there really an absolutely correct love cheat?

As a spectator, in addition to sighing, I can't help but be confused: although the little genius in love is not in good shape, she should still be considered a person who can be in love, right? In love, should heroes really be judged by success or failure? Even if it is, is the success or failure of a relationship really quantifiable?

In order to clarify the above problems, let's let the two "new and old love godmasters" have a shallow PK to see whose love secrets are more effective, more practical, and more instructive.

Those scattered techniques will not be discussed in detail, what can really represent their love thinking is the "heart method" at the essential level. I summarized the following three differences:

1. Conservative and open

In fact, it is the difference between Chinese and Western style. Xiao Yaxuan, who has a background in studying in Canada and has a rather foreign singing style, is of course the latter, she is a dating party, advocating going out to meet friends more, not too restrained, not too reserved, should take the initiative to say hi, should be contact information, many of her exes also met at friends parties.

And Yi Nengjing, in fact, is conservative, and the various Dao methods that my sister has carefully cultivated will not be casually applied to the outside world. Instead of meeting a new sex on different occasions and releasing courtship signals, she prefers to spend some time and energy on self-study and selection, even if it is a long process, even if she has to be alone during this period.

For example, the four-year gap period before she met Qin Hao that she mentioned many times, she thought that it was a necessary preparation for her to meet "Mr. Right", knowing her own needs, knowing the problems in her previous relationship, in order to make the next choice more wisely.

2. Short choice and long choice

It can be seen from the last party that Xiao Yaxuan is relatively easy to enter a relationship, because she will not consider too many factors, close the eyes, chat, basically can, the important thing is the happiness in front of you, not the future picture, since it has been thunderbolt ah spark, let's put it here to charge, do you have to meet the perpetual motion machine to shoot?

And Yi Nengjing, the reason why he is so cautious and careful is to reduce the resistance of future running-in, so that the two can go further. In her opinion, not all problems have to wait until they get along before they are exposed one by one, and those who can be warned in advance must think of solutions in advance, if not, simply do not start.

She herself said that when Qin Hao confessed to her, she refused, and she also took the initiative to spread out the age difference and marriage history, hoping that the other party would think clearly. Qin Hao said to try it first, she was still unhappy, saying that she was going to get married, and she didn't need a male girlfriend who told her heart.

Such a statement and attitude seems to be very choking, but unexpectedly moved Qin Hao, Yi Nengjing relayed the reason, I summarize in my own words: when the other party takes this relationship very seriously, he does not dare to fool, on the contrary, others have the attitude of trying it, you will also try him, everyone is guarding against each other, only half of their sincerity, ready to turn around and run away at any time.

3. Show weakness and stubbornness

Xiao Yaxuan is of course the one who is stubborn, does not admit defeat, does not bow his head, and has a strong desire to control. In essence, behind the heavy armor is actually anxiety and helplessness, and love will make her regress to her infancy, hoping that her partner can be a perfect mother to unconditionally tolerate herself and smooth out her childhood shortcomings.

But the chosen partner is just an ordinary man after all, with his own needs and limitations, and he cannot return her as a perfect swaddling.

On the other hand, Yi Nengjing's weakness is precisely the manifestation of real strength, and showing weakness in her is not surrender and currying favor, but dissolving misunderstandings, dissolving barriers, and reaching consensus, which requires a strong core and a broad mind as a premise.

For example, the example she gave in the show, quarrelsome, ruthless words, you don't rush up, let the dialogue turn into a struggle for power, make blades fly, blood everywhere, but see the emotions behind the other party's angry words and appease them. He said "whatever" is not really casual, behind it may be helplessness that does not know how to be good, once you have this kind of compassion, you will not be so fierce to him.

For example, when two people have not yet had any stories, if you want to break the ice, you must have "altruistic" thinking and take the initiative to express your emotions and needs, rather than setting up a tall character to pressure others at the beginning. It sounds like flattery, but it is actually following human nature, and when he feels that your relationship is a journey that enhances the sense of achievement and pleasure, of course, it will slowly advance without still standing in place.

In summary, the way is secondary, and the key is to promote the connection and understanding between each other.

Anyway, the core is stable, and you will not feel that your self-esteem is damaged because you say a few soft words and serve a few soft words. Yi Nengjing said that if your self-esteem is easily hurt, it means that your self-esteem is very shallow.

Looking at it comprehensively, the love method of the two "sect leaders" is of course of course each with its own merits, and Xiao Yaxuan's method is more suitable for the following two types of people:

1. "Social terrorists" who dare not let themselves experience and try.

People need to open the road to growth in collision, you don't accumulate cases, how can you analyze cases?

2. People who always use rational thinking to consider love and dare not face their feelings.

Love is not a calculation problem, and it is wrong not to respect your feelings and not give yourself the right to pursue happiness. Of course, the love brain will jump into the fire pit, but the utilitarian brain will make people's lives very boring.

Yi Nengjing's experience is more suitable for people who plan to make long-term choices and seek stability, and her principle of "not afraid of empty windows and precipitation" helps to cultivate the ability to get along with herself and reduce the probability of being fooled; The principle of "showing weakness" advocated by her helps to reduce and resolve all kinds of friction in getting along, especially suitable for old husbands and wives who still have to face day and night after the hormones recede.

You see, the scope of application of the two sets of love heart methods exactly matches their respective strengths - Xiao Yaxuan's is suitable for love, and Yi Nengjing's is suitable for living.

Of course, Yi Nengjing's personality maturity and stability are obviously higher, she is comfortable in family relationships, and correspondingly, the love of her husband, children, and in-laws has also given her abundant nourishment, and there is no state of exhaustion and fatigue.

And Xiao Yaxuan, in this stage of his life is not in good condition, should have reached the stage of urgent need for self-renewal, not unable to learn from Yi Neng, who has a deeper Taoist practice, learn to accept vulnerability, learn to be at ease alone, and learn not to pin the supply of self-energy on the "extraordinary play" of others.

Frequent collapse is not necessarily a bad thing, 44 years old, it is also time to learn to appease the fragile little girl in the depths of the heart, not with the help of love, not in a hurry to fall in love, mainly on their own. The journey of inner transformation often depends on one's own gritted teeth, which is difficult, but after that, it will grow twelve points strong.

The real dashing miss is not "if you don't love can't do it", but whether you are in love or not, you can love yourself, love is not a necessity, but loving yourself and taking care of yourself is a mandatory course in life. Even the process of falling in love itself is just the manifestation of the inner relationship, straightening it out, and it will be much smoother in any relationship.

The truth is understood, and it is not easy to do

In the process of understanding Xiao Yaxuan, I thought of a film and television role, that is, our domestic sex and city - Mauna played by Liang Jing in "I Want to Fall in Love".

In the 32 episodes of the series, Mauna is a love warrior who has lived in a thousand flowers and does not stop for any grass, and love is just a way for her to prove her charm and experience the joy of life, not a path to marriage.

But from episode 31, she became hateful to marry, she began to disappear, and when the finale reappeared, the mutant married person said a series of very unmaunate words, as if in order to forcibly summarize the central idea for the sake of the trial, which was called the biggest failure of the show by many viewers.

So, what if the screenwriter didn't write nonsense, Mauna always insisted on his original style?

Hey, isn't Xiao Yaxuan the Mauna of another parallel time and space? What a "heretic" who insists on falling in love and bypassing marriage!

But obviously, this is not a happy ending, always walking through love may not be able to become an indestructible female warrior, no family trivial troubles, but she has to face the boredom after the novelty retreats and the helplessness that love cannot effectively contain all her emotions.

It is in response to George Bernard Shaw's words: if you want to get married, get married, if you want to be single, stay single, anyway, you will regret it in the end. The same applies here to swapping "single" for "in love."

No road is easy to rest easy, and not necessarily an abyss. Just like Zhang Shaogang's post-harvest of Xiao Yaxuan in "Spit Conference", Xiao Yaxuan said that seeing that many people around him are settling and separating, then it is very good that he can always do what he likes, Zhang Shaogang immediately opened the aunt marriage mode:

"Yaxuan, you can't just look at the bad, but also look at the good examples, for example, I, married for 22 years, especially love the family always wants to go home, after returning home, it is sticky wife and children, sticking until they all annoy me before going out."

Xiao Yaxuan: Smile and nod.

Such a conversation will never lead to a result.

Rationally analyzing the pros and cons, basically a tie. The key is whether each person's state of mind is "it's nice over there but I'm happy with it" or "I want to go over there and see it but I'm worried."

Mauna wanted to stop wandering, then get married, maybe in four or five years she would have other ideas; Xiao Yaxuan has not yet given birth to the yearning for marriage, so he will explore and be free on his own. We have to endure and gain something, there is no absolute superiority or disadvantage of the way, the key lies in the grasp of the self.

The real love master is not necessarily the one who has been in love the most, nor is it necessarily the one who survived to the golden wedding, but the one who is honest with himself, knows how to love himself properly, and can get along harmoniously with himself. Such a person can also be very comfortable single, no matter how "in love the brain" can not fall in love, even if you get married, you can become a "dashing young woman".

Author: Miss Bovary

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