#夏日生活打卡季#
I understand the truth, but I still can't live this life;
I understand it all, but I still can't forget my predecessor.
After a breakup, people often fall into "obsession";
Always self-moving, always self-immersed, always creating the illusion that "I am abandoned by this world".
Do something that hurts yourself and embarrasses others;
I often buy drunk and tell people about my bad feelings.
In fact, these are all to cover up your mentality of "can't forget your ex".
If you consistently engage in these behaviors after a breakup, it means that you have a hard time forgetting your ex.
-01
After a long time apart, they still retain the memories of their predecessors
There was a message from a lady.
In her fiancé's mobile phone, she found that he still kept many photos and videos of his ex;
There are also text messages, chat logs, etc. sent by the two when they were together, all hidden by him.
She and her fiancé have been engaged for more than 1 year;
This incident became a thorn in her heart;
Although she didn't want to think about it, she still couldn't bear such an existence.
She doesn't want that after she marries the other party, the other party still thinks about the ex.
There are many people who still retain memories related to their ex after breaking up.
Gifts from predecessors that cannot be lost;
Photos and information of the predecessor are reluctant to delete;
All the memories related to the predecessor, are collected.
The more so, the more impossible it is to forget;
Whenever I see these things, I will "see things and think about people".
-02
Always focus on the "status quo" of the predecessor
Saw a set of data online:
After the breakup, more than 80% of people will peek at their ex's social platform within 3 months;
Six months after the breakup, half of the people will often watch the dynamics of their ex.
When a person can't let go of his ex, he will find ways to inquire about his ex's life.
Like what:
Ask a friend about the current situation of your ex, are you in love? Are you married?
Find various ways to look at your ex's social platforms, and I can't wait to find some clues from them.
-03
After a breakup, always "close yourself"
Unwilling to socialize, will not share feelings with friends, and will not go out with friends to relax;
I won't communicate with my family and don't want my family to know about my emotional experience.
Shut yourself off alone.
Still follow the same state as before: work, life.
Life is depressing, and emotions are never released;
Over time, he fell into a state of depression after the breakup.
Psychological research shows:
After breaking up, the stronger the desire to share and the higher the frequency of social interaction, the faster people can get out of the shadow of lost love.
Closing yourself off means that you can't let go for a long time.
-04
When you meet the opposite sex who pursues you, you can't help but compare
Whenever there is a good impression of you around you and wants to pursue your opposite sex;
You can't accept it calmly, and you don't want to have too much intersection with the other person.
Even if the other person's efforts make you a little shaken, you still can't help but compare him with your ex.
Compare him and his predecessor, who pays more for you;
For you, he and his ex, who brings you more favor;
Compare the personality, temper, work and family of the two people, etc.
The more you compare, the more you find that your ex seems to be better than him.
This is the weakness of human nature:
What you can't get, it's always the best;
What can be easily owned by oneself often does not want to cherish it.
-05
I often associate the things I encounter with my ex
For example:
You go to a certain restaurant, and as you eat, you remember that you and your ex also like to eat at this restaurant.
Go shopping for clothes, you will think what kind of clothes your ex likes;
When you're in a bad mood, you think about how your ex comforted you;
When I encounter something that I don't handle well, I think of my ex for the first time;
When you're doing things, in life, most of the time, you can't help but tie these things to your ex.
Your predecessor in your memory has affected your normal life and work.
-06
Because love begets hate, love becomes hate
By this stage, your affection, nostalgia, and obsession with your ex have all turned into "hate".
You start to think:
"Why did you break up with me?"
"Why are you lying to me?"
"I paid so much for you, are you so ruthless?"
"My life is a bad mess now, it's all my ex's fault"
Thus, you enter a new "mental internal friction";
Love for my ex has also turned into unprecedented hatred.
This leads to hoping that whenever you think of your ex, you want him to be doing well;
You fantasize about every moment you reunite with your ex, and you can say to him in person: "You would never think about it without me." ”
However, what you don't know is that you have fallen into the trap of the "white bear effect".
The more I think about it, the more I miss it;
The more nostalgic I am, the more difficult it is to settle.
Love, memory, or hate will make your ex stay in your mind for a longer time.
-07
You start to compromise and want to be friends with your ex
You finally didn't escape the drive of instinct.
You begin to reach out to your ex and humbly chat with it;
While sharing your shared memories and trying to awaken your ex's feelings for you;
While fawning over your ex, I hope he can still be friends with you.
And your request is simply to be friends with him;
No more deleting friends, no need for any intersection, that's all.
When you fall into this dilemma, it means that you are too deep into the drama to escape.
After a breakup, people generally go through 5 stages:
Doubt, denial, anger, acceptance, forgetting.
It takes time, but the most important thing is to reconcile with the heart.