Love is beautiful, but often some people like to add a lot of routines in love, so that girls are invincible, and finally enter the trap they designed.
Many girls deserve to have good love, but because they love the wrong person, they let themselves fall into sadness and are scarred by love.
In order to taste the beautiful taste of love, the first thing girls have to learn is of course the routine of identifying the veteran of the love field, and then try to stay away as much as possible so as not to be hurt.
01
A common means of routine girls in the love field veteran
1. Show your strengths
Such boys will fully display their strengths in front of girls and show their high value.
For example, how high the social status is, how warm and gentlemanly the personality is, etc.
These advantages are often very attractive in the eyes of girls, and then fall into them.
Veterans of the love scene will also pay attention to their own image. Just like the "peacock theory", the male peacock attracts the female peacock by opening the screen.
Create a clean and handsome good image, it is easy to get the attention of girls, will give themselves a lot of points.
In the TV series "Mr. Love", Song Ningyu is such a person, he is not only a gentleman, but also good at dealing with girls.
When he first met the heroine, he was good at finding topics to chat, alleviating the anxiety of the heroine because of the unfamiliar environment.
The relationship between the two people soon changed from strange to close, and Song Yuning thoughtfully gave the female protagonist a towel and a cup of hot water.
He constantly shows his warmth, so that the heroine does not have a little resistance; he gives people a sense of intimacy, so that the heroine can let down her guard.
When a girl meets a guy for the first time, if he is very familiar, he can quickly get closer to each other.
In this process, he can naturally show his personality advantages, such as warmth, thoughtfulness, kindness, gentleman, can make girls feel very warm, and then quickly let go of all their defenses.
In fact, the reason why the veterans of the love scene can so naturally and skillfully reflect the image of a "warm man" may be the result of many trainings.
Because practice makes perfect, only after many times of training and practice can it be very natural.
2. Observe the words and deeds of the girls
A veteran of the love scene, who does not know a person at all, will read her inner thoughts by observing her speech, behavior, and dress.
When a girl is talking, they will analyze in their minds: Why did she say that? What did she mean by that?
Then say something that can hit the girl's heart, and the girl will feel: This person understands me too well.
Two people can talk more and more, and achieve a rapid heating up of the relationship.
For example, if a girl says, "Oh, it's too cold, I'm going to freeze to death," and the boy will say, "Yeah, it's time to buy clothes, I know there's a place where clothes look good and affordable, I'll take you another day."
When dating boys with low emotional intelligence, they usually talk to themselves and are completely insensitive to what the girl says or emotions.
For example, if a girl says" and "It's cold," they'll only reply "yeah, I'm dying of cold too" or "Then you wear more."
At this time, girls often feel that they have nothing to say.
But the "old drivers" with high emotional intelligence will not say a lot of words at the beginning, but will pay attention to the girl's every move and make different responses according to the girl's emotional changes.
Song Yuning is also a master in this regard, he said to the heroine: "Although every time I see you, you are windy, capable and independent, but such a you make me feel very sad, in fact, your heart is very eager to hug." ”
I believe that any girl who hears such a thing will feel that she has finally found the person who understands herself and finds the right person.
However, in fact, this kind of rapid "understanding" is likely to be pretended, so that girls fall into the love network woven by the other party.
3. Create inadvertent physical contact
When girls have developed a crush on boys, they will increase their intimacy through casual physical contact.
And they will master this degree, that is, at the right time, do the right thing, and will not make the girl disgusted because the contact is too close.
For example, when there are more people taking the elevator, boys will pull girls to their side to protect them.
It is such a slight physical contact that not only naturally but also makes the girl's heart beat faster.
Of course, it does not mean that as long as there are the above behaviors, it must be a scumbag, but we need to use our hearts to distinguish, do not be deceived by their disguised feelings, and finally lost in this false love.
02
See through the scumbag's five-step trap method
If everyone thinks that if they understand the common methods of scumbags and girls, they can get rid of their clutches, then they are too underestimated these scumbags.
Not only do they have the means, but they are also good at creating traps that can be called the "five-step trap method."
1. Establish a good personality and set up a curiosity trap
They will set up a person for themselves, such as successful people with successful careers, literary and artistic youth, rich second generation, etc., and their personality is usually based on the preferences of girls.
For example, before he wants to approach girls, he will study what types of boys girls like, and then package himself as if they like them.
At the same time, they will dress up their circle of friends to match the human setting, thereby improving the authenticity of their stories.
When he packages himself and then appears in front of the girl, then it can arouse the curiosity of the girl to a great extent and generate ideas to further understand him.
When a girl first meets a new boy, she must think of herself as a detective and use various ways to understand the authenticity of his background and identity.
Because in today's society, seeing is not necessarily believing.
2. Show your vulnerable side and inspire compassion traps
When the girl and the scumbag slowly become acquainted, they will set another trap and will begin to show the girl his vulnerability.
For example: "I love my ex-girlfriend, but she cheated on me behind my back, which makes me feel that the girls in this world are so terrible, I won't trust anyone anymore, and I don't want to fall in love anymore, these things I only say to you, because I think you know me very well." 」 ”
For a girl who is not deeply involved in the world, after listening to it, she will be very sympathetic to the other party, feel sorry for the other party, and feel that he is so serious about his feelings, but he has been deceived.
The girl will be heartbroken, want to take him out of the darkness, and say to herself in her heart, if the two people fall in love in the future, they will not hurt him again.
If the girl really had such a thought, so many halves would have fallen into his trap.
For example, Douyin net red Guan Chuyi treated his girlfriend Jiao Keran in this way.
Guan Chuyi not only cheated in marriage, but also had domestic violence.
According to Jiao Keran's account, he often told her that he had been hurt in his relationship before, winning her sympathy. So Jiao Keran forgave him again and again.
It seems that the scumbag's routine is the same.
3. Induce girls to fall into the confession trap
If the feelings of two people have been in place, they usually do not confess themselves, but induce the girl to confess to him.
They will hint at girls through various words, such as: "I know that people like me will not have girls like me." Or: "You hurt me so much, do you like me?" ”
They will induce girls to take the initiative to confess through this inducement, which will make girls feel that they are in a weak position in their relationship at the beginning.
When girls confess, they will start to mentally control girls, for example they will say: "I have been injured before, I hope that after we are together, you can't lie to me, can you do it?" ”
After the girls confess, they will also deliberately emphasize the harm they have suffered.
For example: "I have suffered enough betrayal, don't you lie to me in the future?" ”
They make the girl commit, which is also a step to control the girl's spirit. Once the girl says yes, then they will start to manipulate the girl emotionally.
4. Belittle girls and create a trap of destruction
After the two have established a relationship, the next relationship will become a nightmare for girls.
Scumbags will often make a fuss, if the girl has a little mistake, they will be infinitely magnified, and aggressive, emphasizing that they have been hurt a lot because of this matter, so that the girl feels guilty and blames herself.
In the long run, the girl will feel that she is doing something wrong, and she is too sorry for him.
Scumbags will even make personal attacks on girls, such as girls' looks, poor figures, and so on.
This makes girls feel bad about themselves, and then they start to belittle themselves, doubt themselves, and feel that no one but the other person will like such a bad self.
As a result, the girl was handled by him step by step, and finally completely destroyed by him.
5. Take complete mental control and weave emotional abuse traps
The first few traps are all for the final step, and the ultimate goal of the scumbag is to mentally control the girl.
Because only in this way can the scumbags do whatever they want and make the girls obey their orders unconditionally.
When the girl experienced the trap of the first four steps, the psychological defense line had been shattered by them.
In the end, no matter what excessive behavior boys do, such as cheating or domestic violence, they will also push the problem on the girls.
In getting along, they will also control the girls' social networking and find ways to keep them away from their circle of friends.
When the girl feels wrong, there is not even a person who asks for help, and she becomes isolated.
In the end, many girls who were hurt by scumbags were seriously hit in their hearts, and even more they would self-harm or have a light life, and their good youth was ruined.
This is the five-step trap method of scumbags, each step can make girls fall into it, but in fact, such a trap is also very good to break through.
Just don't be too naïve and indulge in beautiful fantasies.
When a girl suddenly meets a very perfect man, he is exactly the same as the ideal type in her heart, then you have to be careful.
Because real life is not a fairy tale world, there are not so many beautiful encounters, and it is likely that they are acted out.
Girls need to use their hearts to distinguish between true and false, not to be overwhelmed by the sudden sweetness, and to lose the ability to judge.
Author | Qingteng, a national third-level psychological counselor, has five years of experience in the psycho-emotional industry. He is good at CBT therapy, ACT therapy, from a cognitive perspective, giving clients cognitive updates and iterations, looking at reality with a new perspective, and solving a series of problems.