In the small matter of love, some people pursue romance, preferring to be lacking, and some people believe in simple beauty after experiencing vicissitudes.
So there is a love old driver, gentle and considerate, high emotional intelligence posture, and routines are understood.
Emotional white, simple cute and easy to push down, sincere and straightforward is also worth cherishing.
The girl youyou thinks that she is not a love white, and she is still more experienced in love, and there is only one purpose for falling in love: to be happy.
She thinks very realistically, does not want to teach anyone, does not want to wait for anyone to grow, just wants to play happily together, for which she made a love field old driver, a little boyfriend after 95.
She said that many people think that veterans are older drivers, but not necessarily.
Her boyfriend, especially can chat, coax girls to have a very set, talk about love, every day is new and happy.
And her good sister Yuanyuan is completely the opposite of her, Yuanyuan's boyfriend is the kind of love white who is stuck in work, and will not always take care of her emotions.
Sometimes Yuanyuan is also busy at work, and he has to be very patient to teach his boyfriend how to help cook, help walk the dog, and water the flowers.
However, Yuanyuan is still very fortunate to meet him like this, and she is very satisfied with her current state.
She also thought that if she continued to get along like this, her boyfriend gradually learned to support and accompany, which was really good and content.
In fact, the love between Yo Yo and Yuanyuan has its own good, whether it is an old driver in the love field or an emotional white, it also has its own flaws, and it has its own advantages and disadvantages for individuals.
Although Yo Yo's boyfriend is sophisticated, he is still slightly slippery at times, and will find an impeccable excuse in order to try to convince Yo Yo.
Youyou can only comfort yourself: at my age, it is impossible to ask the other party to be pure white, and I can only say that it is more worry-free to fall in love with a love master.
Although Yuanyuan's boyfriend is sincere, he will also be hurt by Yuanyuan's anger because of his direct communication method, and he will sigh and be full of disappointment in falling in love with emotional Xiaobai.
For love should find a love field veteran, or find an emotional white, many people actually do not think clearly.
01
What is the difference between the two?
1. The old driver of the love field understands emotions better than Xiao Bai
Love chooses a partner, and surveys have shown that more than 80% of people will choose a veteran of the love field.
In fact, not only women, as they grow older, excellent men pay more attention to each other's emotional stability, and it is too tiring to be with women who don't understand anything.
On the contrary, the old driver who understands everything can know more about how to get along with each other, and the things he thinks of, the other party can think of, so that such a love is called easy.
Someone once posted: What is it like to fall in love with a little white in love?
As a result, there are many high-praise posts, which roughly summarize it:
When you are sick, the other party will only say: go to bed early and rest well.
The physiological period is uncomfortable, and the most that the other party responds to is: drink more hot water.
Busy working overtime without eating, the other party will even blame: why don't you eat!
In the eyes of the other party's "honesty and kindness", the only concern in love is "drink more hot water", "you rest early", and occasionally take two sentences of "old iron is not wrong, 666".
Obviously, girls like Yo Yo are more inclined to old drivers, although they have a rich love history, she will also wonder if they are particularly deceitful?
However, after the exchange, I found that in fact, there is nothing wrong with a rich love history, because at least it is "the predecessors planted trees and the latter cooled off."
Youyou also once wanted to round the boyfriend has some problems, her boyfriend is not, romantic, and interesting, but I "accept the results" and earned.
He "tried" so many people who are not suitable, but can be with himself, from another point of view he is excellent.
In fact, as long as the boyfriend's character is no problem, what does it matter if the love history is richer?
2. Xiaobai may be more intimate to take care of than the old driver
Usually there is a common misunderstanding of the "old driver" of the love scene, that is, the old driver will take care of people.
Because compared with the emotional white, the old driver knows how to observe the color, see the needs of the partner, and know how to take care of each other.
But in fact, it doesn't matter if you can take care of people and veterans of the love field.
The veteran of the love field is more sophisticated than his partner, but it does not mean that he will take care of people.
On the contrary, he may be more sophisticated, and he will completely cover his partner on a cognitive level and other levels.
He was like a perfect lover, the look of his ideal partner, thinking that he could take care of every emotion, and perceive his subtle unhappiness.
But the kind of person who thinks about himself everywhere, picks up and drops off to work as long as he has time, and prepares romantic gifts.
The habit of a small detail that touches people's hearts can also be cultivated through the later stage.
Compared with the love of Xiaobai, facing the old driver will suffer more gains and losses.
Because I knew that if he was going to go, I would never be able to keep him.
All his gentleness and thoughtfulness are fixed patterns, and it doesn't matter who he is.
The old driver of the love field knows better than Xiao Bai what he wants, and if he can't get it from the other party, he will turn around and leave without mercy.
In addition to this, it can be said that he is in love with the love field master, and the love field master's love purpose is very clear, like, suitable, love, marriage is different in his place.
It's like we know that smoking is bad for our health, but we still can't resist the relaxation and enjoyment of smoking, and the overall feeling is so wonderful.
But love Xiaobai is different, will not ask to be gentle, capable, but also to make money to support the family, as long as you tell your needs, provide him with what he needs most.
02
Choose the old driver of the love field or the emotional white?
Whether it is choosing an old driver or an emotional white, there is no real sense of fit, because the fit is to experience the personal feelings after continuous debugging and operation.
So for these two different types, you can try and experience more.
1. Face the old driver of the love field
Some girls may be prejudiced against the "love field master", thinking that they are the kind of men who run trains with their mouths full of mouths and only want to deceive girls and make profits.
In fact, you can put aside those stereotypes and fall in love with mature, emotionally stable veterans.
There are also some women who lack self-confidence, lack of emotional experience, and lack of self-confidence in the face of love field masters, will be afraid, and subconsciously want to escape:
Will this person, who has a lot of experience, dislike me as a little white? He seems to be very good at talking, will he deceive me? Although I like it, I can't hold it, so forget it!
In fact, it is not necessary, when in love, I am most afraid of encountering the "old driver".
They should be all kinds of rhetoric at the beginning, all kinds of romantic dedication, in short, they will try everything to step by step routine.
Just treat love as a game, and do not want to really pay the real feelings, often some love inexperienced love white will be seduced.
Before falling in love, you must see the purpose of the other party, whether the other party wants to seriously fall in love with you, or play.
You first have to judge whether his love for you is true love or whether you are just a fish in his fish pond to him.
With you, it is possible that he can vent his emotions, and in this case the girl will be very hurt.
Whether a man will take care of people has nothing to do with whether he is emotionally experienced or not, and whether he is willing to take care of you or not.
2. Face the emotions of the little white
Many people will set a framework for the other half in their hearts, and when they find that emotionally, Xiaobai often appears to be in a situation of "seeing the light and dying".
In fact, it is not "seeing the light and dying", it is whether you are willing to accept the imperfection of the other party with an inclusive attitude.
Some people even look around for a while and then go back to the person they missed.
It was only because he found that no one fully met his requirements, so he lowered the expectations in his heart.
There's a saying that if you were of the opposite sex, do you think you'd marry yourself?
Because you'll assume that the type of person you like is similar to yours.
If the similarity is high enough, it means that there is a call between you.
Therefore, some people will change their personality to cater to the type of "heart he" likes, in fact, this is a manifestation of self-confidence.
"Being someone else" can attract the attention of others for a short time, but the character and cultivation in a person's bones will be exposed with the passage of time, and you can't control all the details.
Some people say that if what you want is love, you must be strong enough, even mentally prepared, because the chance of encountering love is really low.
But if you want to get married, you don't have to wait for love.
Friends, both physical and mental, can get married. So there are not so many rules and regulations in love.
Only fit is not enough, we can "understand" our own emotions.
People come from different families, different growth environments, different social circles, and we will resonate with others in some ways.
However, in this world, there are no two identical leaves, and there is not so much "empathy". The key to controlling emotions is to build empathy.
Daniel Goleman, a doctor of psychology at Harvard University, once said: Cognitive empathy, that is, the ability to understand the situation of others; emotional empathy, that is, the ability to feel the emotions of others; empathy care, that is, the ability to understand the needs of others.
When struggling with whether to choose between emotional white or love field veteran, the ability to love has been lost.
Intermittent desire for love, and continuous fear of love, because of the fear of not communicating after meeting, afraid of disappointment after understanding, afraid of being disappointed after paying the true heart.
It's easy to fall in love, it's hard to stay together. After going through the stage of love at first sight or long-term love and confession, the next stage is the stage of cultivating love.
This stage plays a decisive role in whether two people can eventually enter the marriage hall.
Know that anyone who makes you feel inferior is the wrong person.
A good relationship will make you feel respected and equal.
Be brave enough to stop the loss in time at any time, a good relationship must be happy, positive and hopeful, and your feelings will not deceive you.
Author | Mu Chu Media copywriting planning, has specialized in applied psychology, focus on writing, keen on the study of psychoanalytic and emotional psychology, proverbs: everything learned, become a character, listen carefully and record every soul story around you.