After three years, with the gradual opening up, travel has been put on everyone's agenda.
The first to step abroad are Internet celebrities, who "travel to foreign countries to eat and drink with confidence", eagerly scavenging for fresh exotic life materials around the world, at least to feed the topic selection in the near future.
However, most ordinary people, including me, are surprised by this "walk-and-go" action power while still carrying out some kind of "reconstruction", trying to recall how we did travel strategies, found the most cost-effective liquor, and smoothly processed visas three years ago... From time to time, I need to rely on the experience shared by Xiaomoushu users to cross the river by touching stones.
This kind of fear, embarrassment, fear and other feelings caused by rustiness and strangeness not only exist in the normal life after re-embracing and restoring order, no matter when, those things you think you are accustomed to, the path you will take with your eyes closed, but it is very likely to be the first experience of others, these processes are full of doubts and difficulties, every step is like walking on thin ice like a game to complete the level, but there is no novice strategy.
So what? Don't be afraid, it's not a big deal, let's just learn. After all, none of us is Ms. Asami Kondo, who is the goal of restarting the five weeks of life, and we are living on earth, and none of us are living for the first time in this life.
For the first time in my life, "if there is a professor, I must work hard", and there is really a "professor" - 5G surfing friends must have noticed that recently there is a rapidly rising B station up master "worker Xiao Zhang Ye" (hereinafter referred to as "Xiao Zhang"), her "How How" series was well received and regarded as "social fear gospel" by many netizens, and she herself was even affectionately called "Internet Mom" by everyone.
As can be seen from Xiaozhang's B station page, the "how to" series is mainly to teach people how to do some seemingly daily and simple things through video teaching, such as how to take high-speed trains and planes? How do I get to the doctor? How to eat Haidilao? How to watch the performance of idols? Covering all aspects of urban life, the video content is very routine.
For "advanced players" of urban life, Xiaozhang's video content can be said to be mediocre or even boring. But it is precisely because of the ordinary, behind the video hides a dark fact: in fact, not only the elderly who are relatively new to modern information technology and the Internet, but also young people have information gaps caused by different ages, living environments, and experiences, so they also have many survival skills that need to be learned, and the ability to live in a city is not taken for granted.
At present, the most viewed video "How to take the high-speed rail" is also Xiao Zhang's first video, at first she saw a comment in other videos saying that she had not taken a plane, she replied without thinking that the other party could take a video of taking a plane, but the plan could not change, and after the New Year, returning to the city from her hometown ended up taking the high-speed train, and there was the first high-speed rail tutorial.
The comments on the video are intertwined with voices such as "how can someone not take the high-speed train" and "thank you up master", the latter of which proves that Xiaozhang's video is indeed valuable, and it is a value that few people noticed in the past. Every comment, the young people behind the barrage, and their elderly parents and relatives have benefited from Xiao Zhang's video, they have learned to order at Starbucks freely, eating Haidilao alone is not embarrassing, going to the hospital to register for a doctor at least not dizzy, and parents in their hometown have also learned to take the high-speed train to visit their children in Beipiao...
In addition to the function of popularizing science in urban life, Xiaozhang's video has a very strong ability to empathize from the psychological level. In the video, Xiao Zhang teaches everyone many skills of urban survival almost hand-in-hand, and at the same time eliminates the shame of many people's urban life, because she will generously show the audience the embarrassing, timid, and even "social death" side of her daily life, as if saying "It's okay, you see, I'm not very good at city life." There are two roles in Xiao Zhang, she is both a "teacher" who teaches us skills and a companion who can grow together.
Pictured: Xiao Zhang blamed himself for not realizing that the delivery boy was hearing-impaired, and the ridicule of the barrage was like a conversation between friends
Douban also has a group called "I have really seen the world", and the ecology formed by Xiao Zhang and his audience at Station B is similar to here, which is a stratosphere where you can speak freely and shorten each other's information gaps. The group members enthusiastically and generously shared the world they had just seen, the new skills they had mastered for the first time, etc., and the scope of everyone's understanding was broadened through sharing again and again, gradually reducing the fear of the unknown and the sense of dwarfing that they could not have understood.
Then again, if the choice to do urban life science popularization is due to Xiao Zhang's sensitivity to scarce topics as a content creator, allowing her to stand out from the crowded short video track, then she can patiently shoot videos to try to solve the audience's problems and help the public, perhaps because she herself has had a time when there is a poor information, learn to put yourself in the shoes of the simple, "put your feet in other's shoes", only she has experienced it to understand.
Xiao Zhang, who moved back to the county from the city when she was a student, would mistake the seedlings for leeks, and her classmates in the county would also have a lot of dreamy imaginations about life in the city, which is normal, and Xiao Zhang's growth experience shows that the information difference in daily life is mutual. And the way to shorten the information gap is by no means the superiority of "why not eat minced meat", the mocking gaze and judgment in the name of "stupidity", what is needed is precisely the popular science that Xiao Zhang is doing, and the calmness that Xiao Zhang is not humble and unassuming.
A similar situation is also clearly reflected in the farm documentary variety show "Clarkson's Farm", the protagonist Jeremy Clarkson is a British car host, columnist, celebrity, he does not know anything about farming, but he treasures cars, even farming must use Lamborghini; In his eyes, Caleb, a country boy who has never been to London, has never taken a train, and has not even seen the 007 series of movies, is actually a good farmer. The follow-up program proves that there is no absolute standard of who is superior to whom, the sense of superiority is only temporary, change the track, who is whose master is not easy to say.
Out of the context of variety shows, back to the lives of our ordinary people, when Xiao Zhang became popular, Xiao Zhang's goodwill sharing gradually became a popular psychological paradigm, naturally, more and more people calmly accepted the existence of a certain information gap, recognizing that everyone's life has untouchable aspects, and people just live different lives but do not have a distinction.
In the Japanese drama "Restart Life", the protagonist and friends describe the top student in their minds as follows: "She must be living a second round of life, right? " You must have rehearsed all the necessary stages in the first round of life, and you must be familiar with the world and the rules of social operation in order to become the president of the student union and be admitted as a pilot so smoothly, right?
I still remember when I first entered the workplace at the age of 23, whenever I talked about topics such as five insurances and one housing fund, public rental housing queues, company welfare, etc., the senior colleagues around me and a small number of peers expressed their incomprehension of my ignorance, and I did not understand this: Are these people also living a second round of life? Where did you all "sign up" to learn these things?
If the daily life skills shared by Xiao Zhang are the tasks of the novice village of life games, then the socialization process that adult life must go through is an advanced level, and most of us need to learn social values, social behavior norms and knowledge skills in the process of adapting to changes due to occupations and social roles.
Many people seem to have learned all this overnight, turning into highly socialized adults, mastering the rules of the adult world, and knowing how to maximize their own interests and maintain a decent life.
Fortunately, there is a kind of good thing called "it turns out that I am not alone". I interviewed some friends around me: In what ways did we "miss school" in the process of stumbling socialization? Here's what they said -
I always seem to miss the benefits of some national policies, pay less attention, and have a relatively low idea of where to go. For example, when I first returned to Shenzhen from Hong Kong, I could have received a subsidy of 30,000 yuan, but I missed the application time and lost it in vain. But I am consistent, life in the world, not everything can be reaped.
Still can't learn ~ (singing) age is immediately the range of "early aging" that Cheng Youqing said, but a few days ago, I carefully followed the tutorial of Xiaomoushu users step by step to complete the tax refund declaration. Too many such trivial but have to do business handling and incomprehensible policies, every time you encounter it, it will be full of question marks.
I am over 30 years old, entering the age of Xiaomou's book "6 years in Beipiao I finally have my own house", but I am still tripped up three times by a district residence permit, and I am tired of the police brother coming to me to register at home, and I have tearfully missed the application deadline for the first half of yesterday's largest national lottery lottery in the capital - I want! This residence permit! What else is the use!
I wanted to live my whole life by renting a house, but I didn't expect to get married. I don't want to buy a house, and in the future I will probably build a family in the property purchased by my marriage partner. The question arises, do you need a notarization of premarital property? Do I want to participate in paying off my mortgage? I don't understand any of this, and I'm too lazy to learn. To put it ugly, even if you get divorced, it's a big deal to leave with your luggage and continue to rent.
I am a social terrorist, but reception and entertainment are indispensable in my work. After working for five years, I started to be stunned when I heard the reception. As a "toast dumb", he took the initiative to grab the job of the waiter, and diligently served tea and wine to everyone, handed over paper to urge vegetables (15% service charge, please call me on the salary card). It is still impossible to imagine why some people can start hooking up with strangers and calling them brothers and brothers with just a glass of wine...
I can understand all the instructions, but I can't learn to blur the unspoken rules behind the language, mainly because I can't learn to give gifts. But I didn't feel that I had been treated unfairly because of this, the doctor who did not accept the gift still gave the family the most serious treatment, and the teacher who did not accept the gift let the plain and silent child serve as the shining captain of etiquette when he graduated. There are enough rules in this society, and unspoken rules can be avoided.
For me, a "driver's license" is equivalent to a "graduation certificate". Whenever I saw my once equally clumsy friend, driving such a big car around the city, I pretended to be calm and had a downpour hidden on my face. It seems that he is holding a loud gong in his heart, judging his perfect every move: When did you, a road idiot who does not distinguish between left and right, learn to change lanes? Why can people who walk flat and fall into the garage so silkily? It's sad to feel that you have quietly signed up for "adult preschool" and I'm still waiting for you to finish school at the door of the nursery.
If you are not decided, look at the strategy first,
Can it really cure all diseases?
Although we interviewed less than ten friends above, the sample size is relatively limited, but we can also roughly see that many people's confusion mainly focuses on the inevitable complex policies in life, the rules of interpersonal communication that cannot be easily mastered, and behaviors or items that often mean labeling adults (buying a car/buying a house/marriage/childbirth).
For those who only have the only solution to the problem, such as the process, compared with the outdated information provided by the search engine, the experience sharing social media platform has more, more immediate, more reference value of the behavior model model, such as how to solve the pop-up window that everyone is most anxious about in the past, and the tax refund declaration that everyone cares about recently can be found in a small book that can be copied and is not difficult to get started.
It can be seen that in today's developed information society, it is easy to shorten the information gap through the Internet and social media platforms. However, when many young people are more inclined to choose to "seek medical treatment" on the Internet, a new question arises: is it possible to follow the life template shared by others, so that every big moment of uncertainty and decision-making is done?
At a certain moment, user @Luo Huai recently shared that she and her friends were happily planning a trip to Thailand with friends, but Xiaomou's lightning protection posts full of books poured cold water on her basin after basin, and the excitement of travel was extinguished a lot, ensuring that a foolproof trip at the same time may not necessarily bring a good experience.
This "safe landing" mentality also affects the service industry, losing autonomy are also dessert shop owners, manicurists, they are most afraid of customers holding photos of a small book to consume, but in order not to get by with money can only rely on the gourd to draw scoops, but there is a difference between people, the result is often unsatisfactory, not everything can be 100% copy and paste.
When reading, the teacher will provide students with answer templates, short-answer questions, and you can score points without leaving their roots, buy a cake, make a nail art and you can operate like this, but life, life and how to do more than an answer sheet, there is indeed no shortcut to register for class learning, you can only bow.
This kind of problem not only exists in a certain trip, as small as a visit to the store, buying a home appliance, to the planning of major life events such as study abroad plans and wedding planning, if everything relies on the sharing of experience pushed to you in front, and sacrifices the autonomy to control life, it may lead to the disillusionment of preconceived expectations and the reproduction of other people's lives without a sense of surprise.
However, not everyone pursues the same "ashore" experience, some people have long wanted to open, just like Jesse interviewed by the group, although in the eyes of onlookers, TA's life may need to quit retraining, need a socialized zero-based comprehensive improvement class, but TA still feels that "it is actually good to be a social 'poor student' to live".
As long as you don't go with the flow and don't plunge into the "sea" that is only in line with the secular identity of society, you will not have the pain of struggling to get ashore, and you will find that every day outside of the fixed paradigm of society is freer.
We now live in a world where lifestyles are more diverse, and non-mainstream choices have more room (although accompanied by certain pressures and costs), and there is no shortage of such role models in our vision, such as Chizuko Ueno, the first person in Japanese feminology research and a feminist pioneer; Leaving the day after day of the dead grass life, the UP master "Xu Yun Wanders China" who rode alone to China; "Villain Film Review" anchor and film critic Pomi, who does not cater to the domestic film market and the general audience, shouts "Don't be a ghost"...
These people have very different ages, identities, and skills, and what they all have in common is that they have been rewarded - an original life that is not forced into the mainstream of society, honest with oneself, and has no semicolons.
I have to admit that the masterbook provided by the god of life games that people admire can help us to constantly upgrade to fight monsters, save the princess, and smoothly get the results you expect, but you can also choose what kind of scenery you want to see along the way. Maybe there are moments in life where you can throw away the guide, you don't have to carry a beginner's guide, walk on the road of life full of unknowns with the mentality of getting lost and meet surprises.
It turns out that the mystery of restarting life is to live well in the present!