Wen | Zhang Weifei
Source|Possibility of growth
Figure | unsplash
After the spring school starts, the parents of kindergarten are busier than their children. Many parents of kindergarten children have been thinking about their children's entry into primary school since this time.
From kindergarten to primary school, it is a very important life node in a child's life. In the face of children who are about to enter primary school, parents are mixed with joy and worry, and often can't help but worry about whether their children can adapt to primary school life? There is also a more specific anxiety, is whether to let the child learn knowledge in advance? Do you want to sign up for work?
Many parents are facing relatively large difficulties in the period of "early childhood transition", and this period of growth may have talked to four parents who have experienced the process of "early childhood transition", as a passer-by, what pits have they stepped on? What are the recommendations?
#1
Myth 1: Is early childhood connection learning knowledge in advance?
Gumi's mother used to be one of the members of the "rush", as an elementary school English teacher, she has been personally guiding Gumi's learning, last year was the age of Gumi's first grade, Gumi's mother recalled the second half of last year, and also admitted that she took a lot of detours with her child.
Looking back now, it was mainly influenced by the surrounding environment.
"Not only the first-tier cities, but also our second-tier cities, parents around me have enrolled their children in courses in advance, and there are all kinds of courses, and in this environment, I am also a little shaken." Gumi's mother said.
In the circle of friends, as long as one person recommends a certain type of course, four or five parents around him immediately form a small group to join. She has enrolled Gumi in pinyin classes, her nephew has taken composition classes and oral arithmetic classes, and Gumi has many friends who are learning online classes at home.
"During that time, Gumi's playmates almost all started preparing for elementary school, and I remember one time when I took Gumi and her friends who usually play well to watch a movie, and took them to eat KFC before the opening, and the friends said that they had to eat it in 37 minutes, otherwise it would be too late to watch the movie. He counts the time, looks at the watch and calculates it himself. The addition and subtraction of two digits will also be calculated, Gumi does not understand, procrastinating, you tell her that the movie has 37 minutes to start and she has no concept. "It frustrated her.
In the communication between Gumi's mother and other mothers, most people suggest that children learn a little knowledge in advance so that they can better adapt after entering primary school. Looking back now, she does not deny that learning knowledge in advance has certain benefits, but for her own children, under the premise of limited time, learning knowledge in advance is not the best way to connect young children.
Gumi's mother mentioned that Gumi's biggest problem is that Gumi is a little abrasive, a little active, and does not like to sit and read,
"To say that I stepped on a big pit, but combined with Gumi's performance after the first grade, if I can give me another chance to choose again, I will definitely spend more time on the cultivation of study habits, such as helping her change the habit of grinding and cultivating her concentration." I think these are also the most important abilities for children when they enter the first grade, not just knowledge. ”
Gumi's mother mentioned that if the child himself has good study habits, no problem with attention, is particularly patient, and can sit and study for thirty or forty minutes without losing his mind, then it is definitely only good to learn some knowledge in advance. But like Gu Mi, her own study habits have not yet developed, and it is the act of putting the cart before the horse, and learning a few more pinyin makes her less serious in the pinyin class in the first grade.
While parents pay attention to the growth of children's knowledge, if they ignore the cultivation of children's learning quality, it is actually a more worthwhile choice.
Many parents have heard a well-known "third-grade effect" theory, some children who carry out primary school knowledge learning in the preschool stage are prone to distraction in class due to repeated learning of knowledge content in the first and second grades, do not pay attention to learning, bad learning habits and negative learning attitudes, which can easily lead to a decline in children's grades when entering the third grade to learn more difficult new knowledge.
"It can only be said that not every child is suitable for rush learning, or you must understand your child's personality habits enough, and do not blindly follow other parents." I have observed that some families' advance learning is continuous, can always walk in front of others, parents themselves have better ideas about education, and have a reasonable system. It's not very reasonable to say that the large class raids for a few months, just to let the child learn a little bit of first-grade knowledge in advance, and then start to follow the school's learning progress. Gumi's mother said.
Gumi's mother believes that the transition between young children is not only to learn more knowledge, which is a big misunderstanding, and it is also a pit that parents are easier to step on. Cultivate children's curiosity, intellectual curiosity, learning interest and inner drive, pay attention to children's concentration, cooperation ability, communication and expression ability, etc., and lead children to develop the awareness of observation and inquiry at the level of learning methods.
#2
Myth 2: Is the transition from kindergarten a matter of kindergarten?
Like many parents whose children are about to enter the first grade, Sunshine Mother will also add many parent groups to exchange parenting experience together. These groups suddenly became lively at some point, with only one theme: X months countdown to the start of first grade, ready to start the sprint?
"Sprinting to register for classes and rushing was the biggest pit I stepped on, and during that time it made the whole family's mentality very broken, and the children had great opinions about me. I was so anxious that I was so anxious that I was going to study everything in the big class, and my family only lasted a few months before giving up. Sunshine Mama said.
Early childhood transition is a gradual process, not a surprise attack after a big class. In Sunshine Mom's view, the entire kindergarten stage belongs to the early transition. Although kindergartens now teach less at the level of knowledge, learning is not only at the level of knowledge, but also includes the balanced development of intelligence and ability, the cultivation of learning interests, the formation of learning habits and the mastery of learning methods.
In kindergarten, it is more about integrating knowledge into games, feeling mathematical operations in fun games, and feeling language in bilingual stories, which are interesting things for them.
"Trying to instill a lot of boring knowledge content into the child during the year of kindergarten must be problematic, and finally cause the child to cry with me and get angry with me, I think because these pinyin and arithmetic destroy the relationship between the two of us, it is the most worthwhile, and it is also what I regret the most, and I spent more time repairing the parent-child relationship between us."
During that time, Sunshine's relationship with her was particularly stiff, and she said that children would not listen.
Sunshine mother soon gave up the practice of forcing children to learn, parent-child relationship is always the first in family education, if even parent-child relationship has problems, family education will lose influence on children. She later reflected that registering for classes is actually a kind of "lazy" behavior of parents, and if parents are more attentive, they can bring the fun of knowledge to their children in relaxed entertainment activities.
"Sunshine is now in the third grade, I think it is very good to adapt, and we have not done a lot of effort in the early childhood, because at that time, her father and I finally decided to jump out of that more curly environment, play as we should, go out and walk more, and increase her knowledge during travel, mainly to make her understand that learning is fun and meaningful, and at the same time, learning is also her own business."
"What is more important is the child's own awareness, now Sunshine will feel that learning is very important to her, if her own grades fall, she will also be uncomfortable in her heart, no child wants her grades to be poor." This is a better internal drive, our parents are more influenced by external forces, and we can provide support and help for her from the learning method. ”
Sunshine Mom mentioned that if parents do not pay special attention to learning throughout the kindergarten stage, do not suddenly force their children to learn a lot of knowledge during the kindergarten period. The child can't understand, he will only think that why his parents have suddenly changed? This creates confrontation and affects family relationships.
You can focus time on the cultivation of learning habits and learning awareness, have your own ideas of active learning, and form internal drive, so that children will not feel particularly disgusted. Parents' own state of mind is very important, anxiety and urgent emotions can affect children, and inappropriate persecution can also affect the parent-child relationship.
#3
Teaching according to aptitude, a planned connection between young children is effective
So, does this mean that parents can do nothing? This is also the third misunderstanding of many parents: not excessive "chicken dolls", does not mean "zero preparation".
Compared with kindergarten, children's roles, learning tasks, learning styles, and environment have changed greatly. Such big changes require a smooth transition and full school readiness for children before entering primary school.
In the early childhood transition, there are also parents who do better, Xiaoxue's mother and Xiaoyu's mother are such parents, fully prepared, and their children perform better after entering prestigious schools. They plan according to the characteristics of their children, and finally get a lot of surprises, what are the experiences that other parents can learn from in their early childhood transition process?
Xiaoxue's mother has always said that she is a "free-range" child, and there are not many classes she has signed up, all according to Xiaoxue's own wishes, such as painting and roller skating. Xiaoxue's family has a good mentality. Xiaoxue's mother will catch Xiaoxue's study, but she doesn't keep an eye on it, she thinks that writing can be practiced in advance, and children can read a lot at home.
Xiaoxue attended a top private primary school in a second-tier city, and her grades were at the top of her class. According to the teacher who has contacted Xiaoxue, Xiaoxue's child is very smart, in addition, she is also very persevering, crying when she encounters difficulties, and quickly can regulate her emotions and continue to work. This is the biggest difference between Xiaoxue and other children.
Xiaoyu also studied at a top private primary school in a second-tier city, because he did a lot of preparation in kindergarten, so after primary school, he did excellent results in non-verbal language.
He is a child who has been learning since he was a child, and in reading, he has been brought by his mother to read since he was a child, and there will be thunderous reading time every night. English and math are also learned from a very young age, and they do not start surprise training in large classes.
Xiaoyu's mother feels that in learning, it is necessary to recognize words in advance and reserve more literacy. Because primary schools now require children to read a lot, the textbook used by Xiaoyu, the first half of the language book does not have pinyin, and it is directly Chinese characters.
Another very important thing is the development of rules, can the child hear the instructions and react?
"After Xiaoyu entered elementary school, the main problem was behavioral habits. For example, he likes to read extracurricular books in class, because he knows the content in class, and this habit is definitely not good. ”
In addition, Xiaoyu's mother has consciously cultivated Xiaoyu's work and rest time since she was in the first class, starting at eight o'clock is reading time, and she must go to bed at half past eight. Xiaoyu has read a lot since he was a child, so when he was in the kindergarten, he could immerse himself and read children's books independently.
#4
What kind of children will have a smoother transition in early childhood?
Li Ruinan, a psychological counselor at the Qiyuan Child Development Center of China Science and Technology, mentioned in a possible interview with the growth of "early childhood connection" is not only to let children preview subject knowledge in advance and develop good living habits, but also the important part of social development, such as understanding and abiding by rules, getting along with others, focusing on doing things and listening carefully to others.
In terms of rule awareness, different from the overall relaxed environmental atmosphere of kindergarten, primary school pays more attention to collective rules and instructions obedience, and requires children to establish a sense of rules and consciously restrain their unreasonable behavior in collective situations.
In terms of interpersonal communication, learn to get along with teachers and classmates, and can ask others for help when encountering problems, and also lend a helping hand when others are in need; When there is a conflict with classmates, he can effectively regulate his emotions and can deal with these problems strategically in a way and strategy.
In terms of concentration, children need to be able to sit quietly and listen to the teacher's lectures, and can listen carefully to the sharing and narration of others, which requires the use of ears, eyes, brain, and multi-sensory cooperation.
For children, from kindergarten to primary school, it is not a small challenge, parents should show enough patience, and at the same time adjust the "early childhood" method suitable for their children according to the characteristics of their children's learning, life and behavior habits.