Wen | Zhang Ping
The illustrations | from the web
What is most precious to a woman?
Some people think it's time, but I personally think that for a woman, the most precious thing is her wisdom.
Not all women will become more and more flavorful with age, and only a few intelligent women can precipitate a more charming self in the long river of years.
Chasing "Goodbye Lover" for a while, finally ushered in the finale. The three pairs of Tong Chenjie and Wei Wei, who seemed to have the best feelings, finally chose to divorce, and for this result, there were no surprises.
The reason for the accident is that they obviously seem to be in love so much, and the air is full of pink bubbles, how to say that they are separated? And, not surprisingly, because although they seem sweet, there is actually a big problem.
This kind of problem does not mean that if you coax me, I will accommodate you and you can solve it.
A good marriage requires two people's thinking patterns at the same level on the same channel, obviously, the frequency of this couple is not the same, men are always like children, there is dissatisfaction to vent on the trouble, and women always have to be like a mother, clean up the mess for him, and even go to coax him when he is sad.
To be honest, such a marriage relationship, I personally feel is pathological.
01.
I really feel sorry for Tong Chenjie, and I also think that she can have a better person to love her, because in this marriage, she has given more and endured more, but the result does not seem to be satisfactory.
Take the problem of having children, it may be like this in the eyes of many people, others have to give birth, others are born like this, they do not have so many concerns, why don't you give birth, are you arrogant?
Men move their mouths, have children, very quickly, and do not need you to take care of them, I let my mother take care of it. But the question is, after giving birth, can the mother really let go of the child?
Absolutely not.
Moreover, if you want to ask your mother-in-law to help you with your children, do you need to face the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? Since ancient times, it has been a difficult problem for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along, as a boy, how can you ensure that your wife and your mother get along well?
If they don't get along well, which side will you take? Do you think this will affect your husband and wife's feelings?
Marriage is very realistic, there are many interest entanglements, it is completely different from falling in love, it needs to face more drawbacks, the risk is greater.
If in a marriage, the man does everything himself, the serious woman will really be willing to bear children for him. Women are a species that is very dedicated in itself, but you have to make her feel like you deserve it.
02.
In the case of Wei Wei, he said that he wanted children, but there was no change in his actions.
To put it bluntly, this idea of his is an expression of self, and it may be for him, because he needs it, so he wants a child, and he will not think about what he needs to do if he has this child.
Most of the pressure in their marriage is on Tong Chenjie's side, to put it ugly, most of the expenses of raising a family may also be maintained by Tong Chenjie.
It may be because of the misfortune of her original family, so as long as someone is good to her, she will give wholeheartedly. The more she gives, the more imbalance in the relationship actually becomes.
In fact, their relationship can also be understood to be used to by Tong Chenjie, she spoiled her husband into a child, shielding him from the wind and rain, if they still have to walk together in the future, then there will be greater risks.
Fortunately, Tong Chenjie finally chose to put it down, rather than blindly bearing it. When a woman is awake, it is really N times more cute than she is addicted to love.
People's life is very short, if you think about others everywhere, it will really make you particularly tired, but if you choose to let go and give up your obsession, you will find that many things suddenly open up.
What about love, some people are not suitable, they can only torture each other together, maybe they are still fiercely in love, but what if one day when love disappears? Never believe that love can be eternal, and that what can really be eternal is only a moment.
For those girls who want to talk about "sister-brother love" but are worried about no results, I want to give you a reminder: although your brother is good, if you want to choose to be with them, then you must be prepared to "grow up with him", and you must give yourself a cycle, once you exceed this cycle, you must persuade yourself to put it down.
Because the more you go on, the more you will understand that some people's naivety is really just because his heart is not willing to grow up, that is to say, he rejects everything related to responsibility and responsibility, he would rather choose to deceive himself than face the wind and rain with you, such a man, do you expect that when encountering a storm, he can pull you a hand?
Don't be stupid, women want a safe haven, a man who can make you rely on, is your good match.
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About author:Zhang Ping, psychological counselor, marriage and family counselor, well-known emotional self-media. I have wine, do you have a story?