All interactions have final boundaries that cannot be crossed. Between two people, this boundary is not clear, yet certain. All troubles and conflicts arise from an unintentional attempt to break through this boundary. But once this boundary is clearly discernible and strictly observed, then all the charm of the interaction is lost, and the emotion withdraws and reason maintains order.
In any interaction between two people, there must be an ideal distance suitable for the degree of mutual fit, and crossing this distance will cause repulsion and resentment. This applies to both love and friendship.
Perhaps, the external distance between two people is slightly larger than their inner distance, which makes the emotional attraction between them work best. Form should lag slightly behind content. Confucius said: "Only women and villains are difficult to raise, and those who are near are not grandchildren, and those who are far away are resentful." "This is not fair to women. In fact, "near is not grandchild" is almost a law of interpersonal relationships, and not only women. Too close to a gentleman, anyone can be habitually or forced into a rude villain.
Therefore, all interactions, whether in love, marriage, or close friendship, should be kept at an appropriate distance.
Society is an area that complicates human nature. Of course, no one can live completely apart from society. But no one has to give up his spiritual life for the sake of society. For those with strong spiritual instincts, moderation and simplification of social relations are natural. Because of this, they are able to overcome the barriers of society and move towards great spiritual goals.
People often mistakenly think that those who are eager to socialize are generous. Tagore said well, they are only squandering, not giving, and spendthrift often lacks true generosity.
So, what's the difference between profligacy and generosity? I think so: to squander is to give out what you don't value, and to be generous is to take out what you cherish. This is true of enthusiastic people in the social arena, who do not feel any value in their time, energy, and mood, so they squander them without care. On the contrary, a person who cherishes life must prefer to create in solitude and then give the best fruits to the world.
Healthy relationships and social order rely on respect, not love. It's simple: you can only love a few, but you have to respect all.
Love your enemies – it's so pretentious. Respect your enemies – it can be done. Confucius understood this very well, and he opposed retribution with virtue and advocated direct retribution.