He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
Wang Xiaobo wrote this sentence in "The Silent Majority":
"The world around me is too absurd, so I secretly decided to keep silent."
Did you find a problem?
The older you get, the lower your desire to express and the lower your desire to share;
The older you get, the more you lose control of yourself and become more silent.
Don't like socializing, don't like noise, don't like complexity; I prefer to be alone, like silence, and like to look at everything around me as a "bystander".
Why this change?
What does it mean when a person likes silence and is unwilling to socialize?
-01
Numbness to life and avoidance
Life is difficult, everyone's life is like a Tang monk learning scriptures, and he has to go through all kinds of setbacks and tribulations.
Pass five levels and cut six generals, exhausted again and again, and gain energy again and again.
Everyone's hardship is to get better results in the end.
But when all the pressures in life are rushing to you, at that moment you only feel broken and suffocated.
When a person experiences too much pain, his heart is numb;
If a person is too lazy, he loses the motivation to struggle and improve;
If a person loves too much, he doesn't know how to love.
It's an evasive, complex personality.
What does that feel like?
The nature of your job requires you to deal with various customers every day, and what awaits you are countless wine shops, dinners, drama, hypocrisy and pretense.
Common things are:
You get drunk, you spit and you drink, you drink and you vomit.
Back home, drunk on the sofa.
When your lover sees you, she shows an expression of disgust; When the child sees you, he shows a helpless expression.
But what you do is also for life, for your own career.
On this path, you have only two options.
One is to continue until complete numbness;
One is to wake up, jump out, and then change yourself and change your lifestyle.
"Do not erupt in silence, perish in silence".
It is a shift between avoidance and confronting, laziness and positivity, numbness and strength.
-02
Silence is a way for people to cope with social interaction
There is a concept in psychology called "social invisible person".
They are afraid of socializing and often feel stressed, embarrassed, anxious, and even panicked socially.
Therefore, in order to avoid this state, they choose to be silent.
In social interaction, it is common to meet such people.
For example:
At parties, they always hide in corners, silent, stuffy people who eat;
When chatting, they rarely express their opinions, but observe what others say;
On some occasions, they are almost reluctant to show themselves, and they don't show up if they can.
If you hadn't been with them for a long time, you wouldn't even feel their presence.
This type of person is the "social invisible person".
Although they are indeed around you, their presence is low, as if invisible.
A person is silent and does not like to socialize, in fact, he is a "social invisible person".
Like:
Some people don't like to chat about WeChat or reply to other people's messages.
No matter who they get along with, they rarely reply to messages.
Even if you reply to a message, it is a long time before you respond.
This kind of person does not hate you, nor does it contradict you.
Rather, this is how they face social mindsets and emotions.
It's a complex, tangled, contradictory psychology.
Their most straightforward feelings about socializing are: fear, nervousness, anxiety.
The strategies they cope with are: escape, dodge, silence.
-03
It is a manifestation of a person's inner maturity and love of solitude
Remember this logic:
People with mature hearts often love to be alone; And those who are immersed in solitude may not be mature inside.
This is a gradual, incremental process.
The longer you are silent and the longer you become a "bystander", the more thoroughly you see life, life and other relationships.
The heart is clear, even if someone else is wearing a mask, you can see his most essential appearance at a glance.
In the beginning, you just play the role of a bystander, observing everything about the people around you and observing the life you are in.
The longer you observe, the clearer your mind becomes.
Later, you become a mature person at heart.
Whatever your reason, choose silence, choose to be alone, and don't give up on living your life.
does not like to socialize, likes to be alone; But you need to be socially able and be able to switch between the two.
You don't like to be noisy, but you also have to have the ability to immerse yourself in the noise.
Even if you don't want to fit into a circle, you have to face it.
Because everyone is a social animal, destined to connect with those around them.
We can change our inner attitude, but we can't completely separate ourselves from the outside world.
"Harmony but difference" is the ultimate destination.
Today's Topic:
Have you become silent?
(Article with picture source network)