"When we talk about love, we are ultimately paying homage to those innocent, innocent, desireless, and regretless youth."
INTERVIEWER NOO
Noo
His real name is Zheng Shiping, and he has published about one million words of various types of works. In 2006, he won the "Outstanding Contribution Award" of the "Retrospective Exhibition of The Third Generation of Poets", in 2009 he won the "2009 Contemporary Chinese Contribution Award", and in January 2010, "Mother on the River" won the 2010 Taipei International Book Fair Non-Fiction Award, which is the first writer in the Chinese mainland to receive this award.
He has worked as a policeman, a prisoner, a bookseller, and his heavy family fate and bumpy life experience have not only polished the wild man, but also achieved the moving life story written by the wild man. Yeo tells a story of the past, an era slowly comes from the end of his pen, with the pain and affection unique to that era, a helpless sigh, but also a question without answers.
"Love in the 1980s" is a semi-autobiographical novel by writer Nobuo, telling a fiery, pure and hopeless love, set in Icheon, deep in the mountains, which is the hometown of Nobuo's masterpiece "Where is the Countryside" that Nobuo has been looking at for a lifetime. In a sense, the recollection of love in the 80s is the youth that bloomed on the ruins of the tracing era.
Love in the 1980s
Yubo and Liwen met in middle school, she is the cold beauty of the class, is his first love, but he repeatedly showed kindness, just like the letters stuffed in her bag when he graduated, he did not respond. He couldn't figure out what kind of feelings Liwen really had for him.
The most beautiful thing in feelings is hazy, it is heartwarming, it is the heart and mind, it is better than a thousand words without words.
The most helpless thing in the relationship is that if you are away, you are obviously close to each other, and you keep a stiff distance.
However, they did not have the opportunity to complain again, Yubo was admitted to college, and Liwen, who had better grades and talent than him, had to drop out of school because of a difference in points and family reasons. Then Liwen stayed in the township of Dashan and took over her mother's job at the supply and marketing cooperative. A parting is four years. Until he graduated from college and was assigned to return to his hometown, the two unexpectedly met again, spanning another four years.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="01" > the fall of the times</h1>
With her grades and efforts, there was no problem in repeating her studies for a year and then going to college, but even if she was admitted, her father was being tried by the government, and children from bad families at that time would not be admitted. She could only give up, because she had no way out, and the grain of sand that the times had fallen was a mountain she could not cross.
Perhaps it is this kind of grief that aggravates Li Wen's resistance to the rain wave, and she can't bear to let him be like herself, using her ideals and future to be martyred for the times, for the rest of her life. If someone had to pay for it, she alone would bear it, and she would never be able to drag him into the water because of her children's affection.
Love is not taking and possessing, but letting go, being fulfilled. As long as he's doing well, he's better than anything.
Li Wen wants to guard her father who is disillusioned and unable to get out of the mountains, and Yubo wants to break out of the vast world, and has no choice but to be safe.
Before the love could be opened, the two were separated. The times have already torn the fate between the two, if he insists on giving up everything for her, it is just a farce that moves herself, she will feel guilty in his compromise and abandonment for a lifetime, and how can it be the happiness he wants to give her?
He went firmly into the world, but he was powerless in the face of fate. The love of the 80s was already doomed in the twisted 70s. Not being together is really not so easy to love and not to love.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="02" > he is afraid, the more careful he is, the more out of reach</h1>
Yubo knows that Liwen is the first lover in his heart, the lover he wants to accompany for a lifetime, and the only love in his life. He did everything he could to show his heart, as long as she said a word, he dared to stay in the mountains for her. His heart for her is well known, but she always interrupts and avoids his confession of love, and the two of them are friendly and maintain a state of friendship and unsatisfactory love.
"At the beginning of the 80s, true love confessions were as difficult as going to the soup." He was afraid that his own rashness would surprise her sanctity, he was afraid that he would not be able to break through that layer of window paper even for his friends, he was afraid that his feelings were nothing more than feelings in loneliness and pity in difficulties... She repeatedly advised him to go to a distant place to work hard, to live up to the bold words and ambitions of his studies, only then could she look up to him.
"Am I really willing to live forever?" My urge to stay was essentially based on my first love for her, but more of a tender pity. Driven by Li Wen's vague emotions, Yubo fell into self-doubt, and this doubt was also an awakening of life consciousness, from unknown to trance, so that the final despair gave up, he just chose his own life.
A man, it is impossible not to feel her overflowing love, in the conservative 80s, she always gave him a scoop of hot water, good at science she chose the liberal arts; when they met again, she stopped him from drinking more, washing his clothes and sheets, knitting sweaters for him, and she cried when he left...
Never said a word of love, never mentioned a word of like, but her every move has already been written with extraordinary feelings.
He was afraid, it was his thoughtfulness, it was also his weakness. So he lost touch with happiness again and again.
After years of separation, he wrote her letters that had not been heard back, and he did not dare to disturb her life. Going to the provincial city to study again, getting married, divorcing, and experiencing some feelings if there is nothing, is to lose contact with her. After going to prison and then getting out of prison, the outside has changed a world.
Li Wen reappeared at the most depressed time in Yubo's life, giving him relief and tenderness, but he still did not grasp this hard-won happiness. He was used to Li Wen's escape, but in his bones, it was not because Li Wen was someone who knew him better than himself, "You will not be willing to live such a mediocre life." After being banished by her again, after years of hard work, he finally became a so-called successful person.
It was not until she died of illness that he adopted her orphan and finally made some compensation for the affection of that life. But the Yi people have gone, and no amount of love can fill her lifelong obsession and regret.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="03" > not for arrival, but for fulfillment, maternal love is not a sad thing</h1>
Giving love
Liwen's love is silent, like the rain underground, nourishing each other's lives, she never seeks to have each other, but to let her beloved fly farther into the sky. She loves him, she knows that Rainbo has a deep affection for her, the boy is in all directions, and she is not willing to selfishly lead him to her side.
Li wen's parents are a pair of bitter lovers, her father is an old college student, a famous pen holder in the county. For various reasons, in the end, he could only stay in the mountains to farm for a living, and for decades he guarded the loneliness of the mountains alone, silently digesting the pain of the times. She couldn't bear it and wasn't willing to let her beloved go into the same life again. Moreover, she has always known that in Yubo's heart, there are still unshakable ambitions in life.
When Liwen mingled with the residents of the mountains, and when Yubo looked at her, she felt more than once the damage caused by time to her innocent first love, "Her dialogue with those mountain compatriots has been very familiar with the use of rural language." In addition to beauty and temperament, she was like a bride in the mountains. "Unbearable, sad in the heart of the rain wave flowing, it is undeniable that the two have already embarked on different life paths, with different life pursuits, she is content with the stability of the mountain, and can no longer withstand any turmoil, and he still has the rebellion and passion of youth in his bones.
After a few years of not seeing, she was still the little girl who did not talk about political topics, and he had already seen through the coolness of the city and the times, and was wrapped up in the torrent of the times. Innocent first love, what is more beautiful is that innocent era, that unblemished mutual, that simple and innocent juvenile time.
What about really being together? Having children, living in a stilt house, and completing a lifelong mission in the matchpost stove? She confessed, but he was not reconciled.
Although love is strong, it is romantic to stay together, but the price of sacrificing a person's life is too heavy.
She loved him, not for arrival, but for fulfillment.
Femininity's shackles
When he was accomplished, she retreated thousands of miles away; when he fell, she stayed by his side to comfort him. If there really is such a woman in the world, how many men have a beautiful dream in their hearts.
It is said that love is giving, is dedication, is sacrificing oneself to complete each other, and in Liwen's body is the tenderness of a woman's motherhood. She loves Yubo like she loves her own child. Care for his warmth and coldness, take care of his life, send his loneliness, accompany his growth, just to let him go further and complete his life.
Touching, but also cold.
"The boy is determined to be in the four directions", but what about the daughter? Under the crush of fate, Li Wen never fought for anything for herself. Failing the college entrance examination, you may not be able to go to college, anyway, if you want to take over your mother's post, you will not repeat your studies; if your father is confined to the mountains, then keep your father in the mountains and live; if your sweetheart has ambitions, then sacrifice his happiness, as long as he can succeed.
In this life, how has Li Wen ever lived for herself? Live in the mountains for the father, live behind the rain waves, and live for the rest of your life for the children. She never asked what she wanted in her heart, just to give, to give, to pay... Endless.
Sadly, from the beginning of the "three from four virtues" used by the ancient feudal society to make women, a woman inevitably became a vassal of other people's lives, and this sacrifice of individual women and even female groups was regarded as a great dedication that was taken for granted.
Greatness is artificially defined greatness, otherwise in what name will those exploitations be justified?
She was a kind woman, a woman who acted strong, but in essence she was a weak woman. Like thousands of women, sing their own elegy in the legacy of the times.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="04" > conclusion</h1>
As a pure love story of the last century, "Love in the 1980s" still has practical significance beyond time and space.
Literarily, the characteristics of his writing creation can still be seen: the heaviness of gazing at the land and the ethereal flow close to the sky. Reading Yefu's text is a pleasant experience, but in the creation of the story, the language of prose culture is slightly over-tempered, and the enjoyment of the beauty of the text is greater than the beginning and end of the story, so it is somewhat blunt and abrupt in the plot ups and downs.
But it is understandable that in today's new era, Nobuo still uses his own stubborn words to warn the world. Only by reflecting on the past of the nation can we truly be confident in the times, and everyone is responsible for this. The pure love of youth is certainly the most beautiful time in life, and the feelings or fates experienced by individuals are so small and subtle compared with the vastness of the times.
Nobuo used this to reminisce about the era that did not exist vaguely, to recall the woman who was in his life, mourning but not hurting.
Behind the unforgettable love is The Wild Man's remembrance of an innocent era and the yearning for the pure beauty of a new era.
*About the Author: Clouds in the Air, a woman who combines love and loneliness, talks to herself between dreams and reality.