The "seven-year itch" is a widely accepted psychological term meaning, in general, that seven years is a watershed moment when couples feel alienated from each other and have a desire to explore another romantic one.
Marriage has always been a fixed formula: "one year of covenant, three years of pain, five years of separation, seven years of itching, ten years of keeping." ”
How many years has your marriage been in?
After the newlywed Yan'er, the two people began to face a life that tended to be normal, and the next two people had to accept the test of the "seven-year itch".
Contradictions accumulate day by day, friction is amplified little by little, two people begin to quarrel from love, at this time the woman must be rational.
Many women are duplicitous, obviously forgiving men in their hearts, but they insist on not forgiving.
Such a woman is a failure in a marriage where two people are going to live together, and winning this time may be a lifetime of losing.
The seven-year itch means that serious problems will occur in the 7th year of marriage, such as some landmark events such as third parties, breakups or divorces.
However, in terms of feeling, perhaps the 6th year is more important, and some of the marriage stories I know about are disillusioned in the 6th year.
Many of the original wives who encountered Xiao San had such an experience, before the husband cheated, he would always come home with all kinds of provocations and find some inexplicable reasons to quarrel with his wife.
In fact, this is often to give the cheating to find a rationalized excuse: "It's not my fault that I cheated on you, I blame you for getting more and more grumpy and out of shape..."
In this case, of course, the wife is not willing to show weakness, how can the old woman be a beautiful girl who is like a flower-like jade suitor, ah, how can it be worthless in your eyes now?
It's just that the wife is angry and angry, quarrels are quarrelsome, and deep in her heart she does not have the idea of giving up marriage.
I also foolishly felt: Two people, bedside quarrels and bedside, quarrel and noisy for a lifetime, the past will pass.
Men, on the other hand, may already have different hearts.
An itch in marriage, in fact, nothing, after all, human nature is there.
Afraid is afraid, some people itch, they forget to repair and adjust.
Thus turning a small itch into a big itch, and eventually becoming a pain that is difficult to clean up.
Itchy, at best just a little uncomfortable.
Just scratch it with some strength and focus on it after feeling it.
But life is very dramatic, many people because of this so-called seven-year itch, turn their eyes to extramarital, a taste, easily kill two people in the marriage.
People are right, no matter how itchy, they will also have some restraint.
People are not right, you are using the eighteen martial arts of psycho-emotional experts, and you can't make the person who is itchy and impatient.
What kind of people are right?
Two feelings of mutual pleasure, have the same three views, have a relatively stable emotional management ability, is the right person.
Psychologically speaking, those couples who are harmonious in their feelings are often in a state of long-term satisfaction of their emotional needs.
When the expectation of "hoping for a husband to become a dragon, hoping for a wife to become a phoenix" was disappointed...
"After six years of marriage, the partner is still an ordinary person, and it is quite flat to live like this, and the relationship with the partner is very flat."
"The partner is an ordinary person", this description of the partner is strange.
Normally speaking, when a person introduces his partner, he rarely uses the three words "ordinary person", and generally speaking, if he is satisfied with his lover, he will use words of praise, such as ability, diligence, and hard work to introduce his lover.
But these three words of ordinary people are subconsciously filled with disappointment.
So, putting expectations on each other in a marriage is the biggest harm to the relationship.
I am often asked: How can I change the other person?
Yeah, if TA is such a TA, is it just acceptable? What if I am not willing?
The road to hell is paved with expectations.
Because your "expectations" make the other party feel that ta is wrong and problematic, you want to change ta.
Wives are more inclined to change each other; and because of gender role differences, women are more affected by relationship orientation, more worried about being abandoned, and have more concerns.
This is also what women often say about security.
If one party wants to be dissatisfied, then it is likely to choose to steal outside.
Extramarital affairs are two people who have lost their freshness and excitement, always feel that other people's wives or husbands are good, and look for freshness and excitement outside of marriage.
When we begin to doubt love, the result is already doomed, just waiting for an opportunity to mature, and the seeds of infidelity will sprout and bear fruit.
Extramarital affairs are generally not long-lasting, both men and women, just a moment of freshness and stimulation, a long time, once there is no freshness and stimulation, it will return to the family.
Many people think that if they get married, everything will be fine, and the marriage relationship will need to be maintained for a long time.
When you are more and more intimate with each other, and the symbiotic part is more and more, you will find that the simple love relationship gradually disintegrates, and slowly becomes a responsibility, for the common family.
Less time to watch movies, fewer sweet dates.
You will mistakenly think, "You still have to love me as you did, otherwise you are not normal, you are out there."
Both husband and wife must be financially independent, otherwise, it is difficult to have imaginary equality in reaching out for money, and there can be no harmony without equality.
One only knows how to buy, buy, buy, and one just thinks about snapping, and each of them will feel that the other should be.
With a stable economic foundation and no need to worry about food and clothing, both husband and wife can also engage in things that interest them.
Otherwise, every day because the toothpaste is squeezed in the wrong position, the slippers are misplaced and quarreled, and it is not boring to blame.
The function of marriage is not only to show the good, but also to take care of all the unpleasantness between the husband and wife, as well as their own vulgarity and nakedness.
Every day is like acting, tired or not?
Therefore, the seven-year itch of marriage is the lack of "nourishment"!
Supporting and nourishing each other is the way to get along with each other after marriage.
Hopefully, people in marriage will understand this.
Slowly, in marriage, you can't see the love that was once strong.
Marriage is the choice of adults, love is the foundation of marriage, but not all, out of the quagmire of burnout needs the wisdom and responsibility of both parties.
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Author: Teacher Xiaoxian
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