Many people feel that this film is an inspirational story of disabled artist Mo Di's continuous pursuit of art, treating tribulations with his own kindness and sincerity, and ultimately harvesting happiness.
In fact, behind Mo Di's kind and optimistic attitude towards life, I see more of her wisdom in marriage and the practical significance she gives us.
Painted Heartland, also known as Mo Di, is based on a true story, directed by Ashly Watson and starring Sally Hawkins and Ethan Hawke, and has a rating of 9.0 on Douban.
The film tells the story of Mo Di, a female artist with arthritis, who was rejected by her aunt and brother after the death of her parents, and she was determined to make a change, she was hired as a maid of the fishmonger Lewis, and "partnered" with Lewis to live and eventually fell in love.
At the home of the fishmonger Lewis, she insisted on creating, filling her and Lewis's cabin with colorful paintings, and eventually the paintings were sold, appreciated by the president, and she and her husband also lived a happier and better life.
What impressed me most about the whole film was what Aunt Ida said to Mo Di after she fell ill: "You are the only one in our family who has achieved happiness." ”
Looks general and born with disabilities, from being discriminated against by her aunt to being envied by her aunt, capturing a "straight man" husband, a double harvest of love and career, what did Mo Di do?
Today I will talk about Mo Di's marriage wisdom and her practical significance to us from the road to happiness.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >01 Take the initiative to show yourself: Mo Di took the initiative to take over the fishmonger's "maid" recruitment, sweeping the floor and killing chickens to cook, showing his hard-working and capable side</h1>
Lewis, the fishmonger, was not satisfied with Mo Di at first, and he felt like everyone else that Mo Di was a "cripple" who needed to be taken care of and could not work.
But Mo Di did not want to admit defeat, cleaned the house clean, and also painted the general, put on beautiful objects, painted beautiful flowers and pigeons; went to the fence to catch chickens, said "sorry" while waving an axe, made chicken soup for the fishmongers; in order to prove that he was "not a princess", he could endure hardships and stubbornly squeezed into a bed with the fishmonger.
Lewis thought Mo Di was lame and unable to take care of him. It wasn't until she killed the chicken that she learned she was very capable, and her attitude towards her changed dramatically. Mo Di was also officially left as a "maid" for fishmongers.
Before taking over the work of "maid", Mo Di lived very carefully, did not dare to talk to others, and did not dare to invite a dance partner to dance.
Congenital arthritis has made her inferior, and after the death of her parents, her brother and aunt constantly excluded and disliked her, believing that she was a "burden", which aggravated her inner lack of self-confidence.
But Mo Di was fed up with life under the fence, and in order to prove that she could "rely on herself", she plucked up the courage to tear down the fishmonger Lewis's job posting.
In Lewis's cabin, Mo Di cleans, kills chickens, paints, and boldly shows his talents, allowing Lewis to see his hard-working and capable side and prove his ability.
Most of us have an inferiority complex.
Sometimes, we dwell on our imperfections, see only our own shortcomings, and become less and less confident.
Especially in front of the people we like, we become more and more timid, afraid to express ourselves, so that we miss a good opportunity.
So how can we overcome inferiority and boldly pursue love?
(1) Accept your imperfections
"I can do the work of 5 people alone." When Mo Di said this, the fishmonger Lewis was a little shocked, but Mo Di proved her ability with actions, and "lameness" did not affect her work.
In Accepting the Imperfect Self, the author says, "Only by acknowledging and accepting the full self can we have the freedom to choose." ”
Only by accepting our shortcomings and imperfections can we say goodbye to our inferior selves.
There are no perfect people in the world, and everyone has flaws. When we begin to accept our imperfections and like our "flawed" selves, we truly become confident.
(2) Do what you are good at
In the past, Mo Di, because of her lameness and inferiority, did not dare to show her talent in front of people, so she could not become Lewis's maid; and Mo Di, who was determined to make changes, in order to get the only job opportunity, proved that "lame" did not affect her ability, but unreservedly showed her talent for housework and painting, and finally got Lewis's approval.
Many people have heard of the "80/20 rule" in management, but it also applies to rebuilding confidence, that is, "80% of our confidence comes from what we spend 20% of our time doing." ”
Maybe you're good at singing, maybe she's good at housework, and everyone has their own strengths. Doing things well doesn't take much effort on us, but we can find a lot of confidence in it.
Doing what we are good at can help us overcome our inferiority and give us more confidence.
(3) Positive self-suggestion
In order to prove that she can be competent for the "maid" job, Mo Di plucked up the courage to catch chickens and kill chickens. Frightened, she walked over to the chicken coop, constantly encouraging herself to "gently, it's okay, it's okay", grabbed the chicken with her eyes closed, and swung the axe.
Positive words give us positive hints, when we hesitate, fear, worry, say "I can" and "I can do" to ourselves, we will feel powerful and instantly full of confidence.
(4) Write a "success diary"
"Success Diary", as the name suggests, is a diary that records our "success stories".
Spend 10 minutes a day writing down 3-5 things you think you've "succeeded" today, such as "saving $100 under my careful calculations."
Listing our grades is actually a recognition of what we're doing today. Only by recognizing ourselves will our self-confidence continue to grow.
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<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >02 Helping him in his career and taking care of his self-esteem: Mo Di advises Lewis and uses his painting talents to improve the lives of the couple, but gives credit to her husband</h1>
Lewis sometimes forgot to send fish to his customers because he had too many customers, and sometimes he forgot who owed him money. So Mo Di recorded the customer's order quantity, delivery time, credit account and corresponding amount, solving the problem of Lewis missing and forgetting who owes money.
Lewis's female client, Sandra, admired Mo Di's paintings and was willing to pay for them. Mo Di tells Sandra that "he's in charge" and asks Lewis how much he should sell. When Lewis finished negotiating the price with the female client, Mo Di praised him, "You are so suitable for this job, and sold the painting." ”
Obviously, his paintings are excellent, and he earns money by selling to customers, but Mo Di does not ask for credit, but gives credit to Lewis's "bargaining skills"; obviously she helps Lewis keep accounts, but also says that Lewis has a good memory, and everything is remembered clearly; in front of others, Mo Di often says "he manages things, he has the final say", highlighting Lewis's position as the head of the family; in every painting created by Mo Di, the money has the name of "Lewis", emphasizing his merits at all times.
"Half of this painting belongs to you, so your name should be written on it."
It was also because of this sentence that Lewis began to accept Mo Di's wishes, accepting the identity of their two "partners", knowing that he and Mo Di's interests were tied together, and he should also do something for Mo Di's painting. So he began to clean up, help with the housework, and let Mo Di make time for painting.
Most men care about their "majesty". Being affirmed in front of his wife and showing his status as the "head of the family" in front of outsiders will make them feel particularly "decent".
Mo Di just grasped the characteristics of Lewis's "love of face", gave him enough face at all times, highlighted his merits, and gave him enough self-esteem, so that Lewis was more and more inseparable from her.
So in life, how can you make the other person feel your respect?
First of all, listen to the other person's feelings and express your concern.
Respect the other party is to consider the other person's feelings, ask more questions, listen to the other person's opinions and opinions, let him feel that you value him.
Be a loyal listener when the other person confides in their troubles and thoughts, don't interrupt or accuse, and give the other person time to confide in them. After he's done talking, hug him, comfort him, and sincerely express your opinion, and work with him to find a solution and let him feel your concern.
Second, we must accept each other's imperfections and learn to tolerate
Mutual tolerance is the way for couples to get along.
Since you have chosen each other, you must tolerate his small shortcomings and respect his habits, after all, no one is perfect, and everyone's growth environment is not the same, and seeking "big unity" and "small difference" can avoid unnecessary friction and live more easily.
Finally, don't hesitate to praise and often praise the other party
"Honey, you're so beautiful today" "Honey, you're working so late again, it's really dutiful!" ”
Everyone loves to hear compliments. Simple compliments can not only give people a good mood for the day, but also make the other party feel our love and enthusiasm, give him positive psychological hints, and let him maintain an optimistic attitude and be diligent.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >03 Love him, but also live out the self: Mo Di sticks to his bottom line, insists on painting and does not forget to grow, self-esteem and self-love make her husband impressed</h1>
After being slapped by Lewis, Mo Di angrily argued with Lewis, "Do you still want me here?" Because I will go. Give me back my salary and have been working for two months. ”
Although Lewis is Mo Di's boss, it does not mean that he can insult her personality and hurt her self-esteem. When he was groundless, just because of anger when he used Mo Di as a pump, Mo Di did not tolerate and retreat, but rose up to resist, letting Lewis know that his dignity could not be trampled.
Lewis wanted to undo Mo Di's clothes, but he didn't want to be responsible for it. Mo Diyi said rhetorically: "If you want to continue what you want to do, we must first get a marriage license." ”
Women aspire to a marriage that is justified, not only because it protects a woman's reputation, but also because it gives women a sense of "identity" and gives women a sense of security. Before getting a license with Lewis, Mo Di stuck to her bottom line, and her self-love and self-esteem also made Lewis dare not easily cross that line.
In order to truly be with Mo Di, Lewis and Mo Di took photos to get a license, called relatives and friends, and gave her a formal wedding.
In marriage, respect is mutual. I like you, does not mean that I have to cross my own bottom line, blindly accommodate you, and focus on your feelings. Bottomless love is not selfless, but sacrificing oneself in exchange for the love of the other party, such love loses itself and will not last long.
So how can you live out your self in marriage and win the respect of the other party?
(1) Show attitudes and principles, and let the other party know your bottom line
Instead of waiting for the other party to make you disgusted, it is better to indicate at the beginning where your bottom line is, what you can't mention, what is the topic that makes you sensitive, so that the other party has a number in mind, and try not to touch your "bottom line".
People who truly love you will not only not cross this line, but will also carefully take care of you and prevent you from being hurt twice.
(2) Feelings are not blindly giving, and need to be responded to by the other party
In order to make Mo Di more happy to paint, Lewis bought paint and brushes for her; in order to prove his determination to be with Mo Di, Lewis solemnly put on a suit, took wedding photos with Mo Di, and held a formal wedding.
This is Lewis's response, but also his sincerity and sincerity.
In marriage, if you give it all, and the other party just silently enjoys your love and care, without responding, over time, you who do not get a response will definitely be hurt, tired of not loving, and lose patience and confidence in him (her).
So your efforts also depend on whether the other party responds. If he or she doesn't know how to cherish, turns a blind eye to your efforts, and doesn't care about your feelings, it's likely that you love the wrong person. In this way, you can only let go as soon as possible, stop the loss in time, and keep yourself away from harm.
Love that responds will last.
(3) No matter how much you love, you can't forget your own growth
Whether before or after marriage, Mo Di insisted on painting, bringing income to the family at the same time, but also making her husband Lewis look at her with admiration.
No matter how much you love each other, don't forget your own growth. Ten minutes of time, set aside three points for yourself, painting or singing, only by doing what you like, bravely chasing your dreams, your eyes will always have light, he (she) will be attracted by the light on you.
He's running, and you can't stop, only in unison can the two of you keep holding hands and moving forward together. Therefore, do not forget to grow, in order to live out in love.
< h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > concluding remarks</h1>
Mo Di is unfortunate, she was born disabled, her parents died early, she was ridiculed, and she was not welcomed on the fringes of society. But more than these darknesses, we should see her optimism, strength and persistent pursuit of happiness.
When love comes, we should also learn from Mo Di, take the initiative, give him advice, and help him in life and career; and we must not forget our own growth, adhere to the bottom line, live ourselves in love, and get the cherishing and respect of the other party.
In this way, you will have a good person, love you, understand you, and stay with you for a lifetime.
I hope that we can all meet the right person, hold the hand of the son, grow with the son, grow together, and advance hand in hand.
——End——
Doll love gourd: post-90s freelance writer, left hand workplace, right hand text, like to use movies to talk about life. I firmly believe that words can touch the heart and open the mind. Pay attention to me, accompany you to read books and movies, and grow up together.
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