Puyahua asks:
Ever felt lonely and sad? How do you find sustained drive and positive energy?
Loneliness and sadness are innate to man, and they are the concrete manifestations of man's distinction as an emotional animal from other creatures. There should be no one in this world who doesn't feel this way, right? There is no money, there is the pressure and sadness of life brought by chai rice oil and salt, the rich, there is the anxiety of maintaining a career, worrying that money has nowhere to spend and depreciating; there is loneliness that money cannot buy love!
Loneliness and sadness are often the external manifestations of people's inner feelings, indicating that people are encountering something unhappy at the moment, and this emotion is not shared, resulting in inner loneliness and sadness, but this cannot become an independent side of happiness and happiness.
For example, a person who wants to achieve results is often more able to withstand loneliness, and he is lonely and miserable at the moment. But if it is insurmountable, people cannot grow. So, in a way, experiencing loneliness and enjoying it is the only way for people to progress. And pain and sadness show that you have made significant progress.
For me, the most profound sentence is: "A person who has studied for a doctorate may not have any particularly impressive results, but he will certainly be able to take on greater responsibility and pressure in the future."
And taking responsibility and stress is also a major trait that makes a big difference and distinguishes it from others. Moreover, people's emotions are also cyclical. At the right time, feeling loneliness and catharsis can actually renew our body cells and enable us to start the next journey in a completely new state.
So, face the loneliness and sadness, because they are not a bad thing!
Cultivating driving force and positive energy is a more profound topic, and different people have different methods!
First, we ask ourselves, what is the driving force? What is its true origin? Many friends always say that they often give themselves flags! But it's often three minutes of enthusiasm, and there's no motivation to stick to it for a while!
So let's take a look at what are the things in life that we have been insisting on for a long time? Eating, brushing our teeth morning and evening, going out to put on makeup, have you found that those things that do not require us to deliberately insist on reminding ourselves every day have persisted for a long time? Why?
In fact, it is the importance of the thing itself to people! If you don't eat, people will die, so it's too important. Do not brush their teeth, some people occasionally have, but most people are told from childhood that brushing teeth is good for the body, and they will lose their teeth after not brushing, and they will not grow again when they are adults.
Therefore, most people realize the importance of brushing their teeth from an early age. And it has been implemented for a long time, and by the time we grow up, we already know the importance of it, and it is difficult to change.
If you don't wear makeup, you will be seen when you go out, and you will worry that your impression is not good in the minds of others. So, makeup is important for most girls, even if it takes 1 or 2 hours, they are willing, because looks and image in the eyes of others are very important to them.
So, the key to improving your sustained drive is to make what you do important enough! Becoming important enough?
You may ask, like studying, reading, exercising, etc., are actually not so important to most people in themselves? How can it still be important enough? Yes, so that's why most people give up less than two months after setting up a bunch of flags in the New Year. And, since then, I have been blaming myself for my lack of endurance and drive.
So how do you make what you do important enough?
First, from an early age, he made him realize that something was important to him. Notice that it is to make him feel on his own, not to tell him directly. For example, it is important, important, important for parents to nag around their children all day long. As a result, I brushed the paragraphs all day long, do you think your children will feel that reading is important? Recall that we mentioned brushing teeth earlier, why children feel that brushing their teeth is very important, because parents insist on brushing their teeth every day! Therefore, behavior guidance is the key method. Create a good reading environment, after work with children to learn and discuss, in order to invisibly, let them feel that reading is very important, so that they can win at the starting line. This is also why primary education is a critical period for children's growth, because this time period is when they develop their behavior habits and they are unable to make decisions independently, and when they go to junior high school, their self-awareness and self-determination are stronger, and they are more affected by the social environment at that time.
Second, let them experience failure and suffer. Many people want to keep exercising and keep their diet balanced. However, it is often three minutes of enthusiasm, and when it is delicious, it is quickly compromised. In fact, at the end of the day, they have not yet experienced how bad health and obesity affect them. On the contrary, those who are seriously obese, in the end, have lost weight successfully and become professional health experts. I have such a friend by my side, and when I met her, she was very thin and beautiful. If she hadn't sent a circle of friends, compared to her 3 years ago, I can't believe that 3 years ago she was actually a big fat person, weighing more than 180 pounds. I consulted her, and found that she was learning to sing, when she was in college, she was gluttonous, and she bought what she encountered, and one who learned to sing in a general school did not have any special pursuit at that time, and she was not confident in her future plans. Therefore, I stayed in the bedroom all day, eating food, chasing the drama. Unfortunately, since I didn't learn any special skills in college, I had no advantage at all except that singing was OK. So, this caused her to be unable to find a job after graduation, and she was hit one after another, and even her boyfriend from college broke up with her. Grief-stricken, she began to practice dancing and losing weight, eating only a little vegetable and fruit every day. She told me that that year, it was really painful, very painful, but thinking about not having a job, seeing what you wanted and not being able to afford it, not even daring to touch the opposite sex, there was an inexplicable force in my heart.
In the same way, in the past, my mommy always nagged me, saying not to lie in front of the computer desk all day long, it is easy to get cervical spondylosis. At that time, I always loved to go back and say that she was nagging all day long. However, since I checked out the pain in my cervical spine last year, sometimes the pain is completely unable to work, resulting in not doing anything for most of the year. The work pressure is very huge, but what is the way, first of all, you still have to exercise, only when you are well, you can continue to work. It was only this time that I really understood the importance of the phrase "the body is the capital of the revolution." In the past, from small to large, I couldn't pay any attention to its meaning.
The first is to ask us to develop this habit from an early age, need help from others, and then feel that something is important to us. The second, however, makes people have to pay a painful price in order to deeply understand that this cost is too high, and for some people, they may be completely dried to the bottom and depressed. Neither of these are too desirable for us adults. First, time is missed; second, the cost of trial and error is too great.
Therefore, there is only a third one: the effective expansion of the first two articles can be learned through reading, to feel and experience life, and to stimulate yourself to explore the potential power in the depths of the heart. Specifically, you can try it out from the following aspects.
(1) Read more celebrity biographies and learn from the lessons of others. Ma Yun said: "Don't look at what the successful people say, but look at what the losers have experienced." Unfortunately, people tend to relish success and hype it up, while ignoring the importance of failure. For example, you can read some celebrity biographies. Go and see how those cattle people have grown up, see what difficulties and pains they have experienced, experience their greatness, set an admirable example in their own hearts, and stimulate their potential fighting spirit. If you don't care about physical health and can't keep exercising, then go see Kai-Fu Lee's "Born to Die".
(2) Watch some classic film and television works. If reading is your weakness, it doesn't matter, don't worry. You can first watch some interesting movies and TV series, such as "The Redemption of Shawshank", "Forrest Gump", "Langyabang" to experience the protagonist's kind of perseverance for a goal, endure all kinds of torture and long loneliness, and finally get the joy of success, so that you can learn to delay satisfaction. Remember that good movies and good books need to be watched more, and watch them several times to have a deep understanding and feel something.
(3) From the people and things around you to perceive, to reject some bad phenomena, and even from the heart of the "hate". Discover the people and things around you, and experience the pain and unhappiness they are enduring in the moment. Think about it many years later, if you don't progress, don't keep learning, don't learn to iterate yourself, whether you will become the type of person you hate the most now. For example, imposing the undesirable intentions of one's own workplace on one's children, even beating and cursing one's children, and arguing every day over some small things such as chai, rice, oil and salt. If you don't want to learn to put an end to these things that you don't like, you need to motivate yourself to start from the moment and learn to plan ahead.
(4) Integrate yourself into a better environment. I used to joke that my circle of friends was more of a marketer, even a micro-business. Although most of the things these people sell are of little use to us and are not good things. However, selecting some hard-working marketers and showing them a circle of friends will invisibly hit your life with a lot of chicken blood. In addition, you can also join some communities, such as good books to read together, supervise each other with partners, keep reading continuously, stick to it for a while, and you will have a big discovery. Finally, the drivers and opportunities are not the same. Sometimes opportunities really need to wait, and the driving force needs to be cultivated, and it needs to be stimulated and moved through long-term accumulation and domestication. Immerse yourself in a positive environment, and then slowly move yourself, continue to exert strength, and continue to shine.
