Text/Na Ya Tou
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There is a sentence in The Flower of Pessimism:
"If you don't believe that restraint is the key to happiness, indulgence is certainly not."
Many times in people's lives, they are in trouble because they do not know how to restrain themselves.
Some people stem from inappropriate speech, some people from the impulse to do things, and some people from excessive desire.
If you want to grasp the direction of life, you must master these three precepts: words are not casual, things are not casual, and people are not arbitrary.
Don't talk casually, speak cautiously
In the "Constant Words of the Warning World", it is said: The tongue is the root of the stakes, and the mouth is the door of blessing and misfortune.
A person's words hide his destiny, and a person's mouth is his feng shui. Not talking nonsense is cultivation, and being able to speak is cultivation. Really smart people know how to think twice.
In the popular web drama "Breaking the Cocoon", there is such a case.
Nurse Zhang Xiaoya has always been straight and fast,losing her mouth.
In the face of a seriously ill patient, she did not have a word of comfort, but told the other party several times and three times, saying that her illness was "not saved, that is, to spend money to wait for death." "Eventually the patient collapsed and jumped to his death.
After the patient's daughter learned the truth, she began to seek revenge on Zhang Xiaoya, and designed to make Zhang Xiaoya accidentally fall down the stairs.
After falling from the building, Zhang Xiaoya originally had hope of saving her life, but her husband deliberately concealed her hemangioma condition, resulting in rescue failure.
The reason why the husband concealed it was because he was fed up with her usual reprimands that left no room and no place.
Zhang Xiaoya originally had a stable job and a happy family, but because she spoke freely and opened her mouth, she finally lost the lives of others and killed herself.
If in life, she can take care of her husband's emotions, and at work, she can care about the feelings of patients, her life will not be like this.
In life, we must speak in a measured manner, and do not think of anything to say. Although we must tell the truth, not all truths must be spoken.
Mr. Ji Xianlin once said: "The truth is not all told, and the lies are not told." "Think twice before you speak.
Before you start talking, consider how the other person will feel after listening.
Directness and honesty should be used to ask oneself questions, not to slander others.
As the old saying goes: talk to the good, warm as a cloth; and with the wicked, pain is like a knife.
Wise people, pay attention to the timing of words, take into account the faces of others and help their own lives.
Stupid people, always talk without scruples, hurt the hearts of others and cut off their own way.
Don't do it, think twice before you go
Think twice about what you say, and think twice about doing things.
There is a hot topic on Zhihu: "Can a person live as he pleases?" ”
One of the high praises answered:
"Whoever can live as he pleases, all freedom is relative and comes at a price. You like the freedom to travel, what you need to pay is desperately trying to make money independently, you like the freedom of plain face without grooming, and what you need to pay is to adhere to skin care day after day. ”
Quit emotions and overcome impulses in order to take control of your life.
My classmate Sisi, after graduating from college, entered a listed company through layers of screening, and has been conscientious and rigorous.
After working for a few years, she took the company's promotion exam, but the results disappointed her. Of the three candidates, she came in third, and in her opinion, the other two were far behind her in every way.
Si Si was very unconvinced and found the boss theory. Because the result of the negotiation was not ideal, SiSi offered his resignation in a fit of anger, and his superior did not say anything about immediate approval. Si Si just resigned nakedly.
afterward. Her path to finding a job was not smooth, either because her salary was too low, or her commute time was too long, or she could not meet the requirements of the other party's position.
After tossing and turning for more than a month, she did not find a satisfactory job, and finally had to ask her family and friends for help to introduce her.
If she hadn't been impulsive at the time, but had calmed down, thought about why she had failed, and found out why, maybe she would have been successfully promoted next time.
Many people do not consider the situation they may face after resigning when their work is not going well, but decide to resign naked with a hot head.
Such a decision may feel cool at first, but when it comes to finding a job, you regret that you should not have been so impulsive.
Many times, people are not afraid to compete with powerful opponents, but they are afraid of fighting with their own hearts.
People who can balance their mood can solve things, and people who can overcome themselves can overcome life.
Confucius said, "Do as you please without overstepping your bounds." ”
It is not good for a person to do things too casually, and it is not good to be too willful. Learn to stop at the right time and not to overdo it.
People are not casual and restrain their desires
The world is vast, all sentient beings, thousands of people, but one side is the same. That's desire.
Everyone has desires, but the size is different, some people want to eat meat for meals, and some people buy houses and cars, earning millions a year.
Desire is not necessarily bad, but excessive desire without restraint is likely to lead to disaster. Not only do you not get what you want, but you may lose more.
In the Analects, it is said: "A gentleman does something, but does not do something." ”
Lü Bu, the first fierce general in the Three Kingdoms period, was brave and good at war, but he had great desires and did not know how to restrain him.
At first, in order to gain a foothold in the chaotic world, he recognized Ding Yuan as his father. Later, Dong Zhuo took power, Ding Yuan gradually lost power, in order to ascend to the throne, Lü Bu cut off Ding Yuan's head and dedicated it to Dong Zhuo.
Later, Lü Bu assassinated Dong Zhuo with Wang Yun and others. He had promised to marry Yuan Shu, but after weighing the pros and cons, he decided to break the contract, so he turned against Yuan Shu.
Lü Bu changed hands seven times before and after, and when he was captured by Cao Cao, he once said: "If Cao Gong is willing to use me, I will lead the cavalry, and Cao Gong will lead the infantry, then the world can be unified." ”
Although Cao Cao loved Cai, he decided to put him to death when he thought of the fate of Ding Yuan Dong Zhuo and others.
Lü Bu can disregard the lives of others for his own selfish desires, exhaust his means, and vow not to give up until he reaches the goal, and naturally it is impossible to gain the trust of others.
As the old saying goes, "A gentleman is a righteous man, and a villain is a profit." ”
A person walking in the rivers and lakes, strength may be the most favorable form of submission, but character is the most critical pass.
No matter how strong the ability, if you do not know how to restrain your desires and abide by the bottom line of being a person, you are doomed to be unable to gain a foothold in the world.
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There are principles for being a person, and there are rules for doing things. Everything in the world has its own laws of development. If you blindly do what you want, the road of life will only become narrower and narrower.
Life is like a mirror, how you treat it, how it will respond to you. So, in life we have to do:
Speaking does not blurt out, and words have a scale to advance and retreat.
Do not do things as you please, calmly deal with it, in order to see the tricks.
Only by not acting arbitrarily and in awe can one act supremely.
There is such a sentence in the "Night Talk of the Hearth": "Temperament is obedient, most of them are the sons of the king, the language is profound, and they are ultimately blessed people." ”
If a person can do things without talking casually, doing things without following his heart, and people without following his nature, then he can be cautious, peaceful, and humble, and his blessings will come uninvited, and his life will be smooth and safe, and he will get what he wants.