Last night the moon was like water, the yard poured a moon, and I could not sleep for a long time, Dad, I miss you, are you okay in heaven?
Dad, today is my 36th birthday, and it is also the 17th day that you left us, in the past, the night before my birthday, I always got a call from you, after you said some greetings, you always did not forget to tell me to buy some delicious rewards for myself, but from this year on, my birthday will not hear from you again.
Dad, you know what? Today, President Wang sent flowers and birthday wishes to me on behalf of the school, and when my colleagues took photos of me, I remembered you, and I forced myself to hold back the tears in my eyes and smile when I forced my face to smile, my heart was dripping blood. Dad, this year is my life year, but also the most grand birthday I have ever grown up, I came back from work at noon, I made a lot of delicious meals, but without your days, I have no taste.
Dad, I never thought you would go so fast, from illness to departure, in just a week, we were separated by yin and yang, and you left us before you even had time to say your last wish. Brother just started a family last year, for you, happiness has just begun, but the ruthless disease has swallowed you, although you actively fight the disease, but years of overwork into the disease, coupled with these days of not eating or drinking, so that your thin as a piece of paper body, can not resist the tide of the virus, and finally you still fell.
Dad, do you remember the day I took you to Zhengzhou to see a doctor on March 8th? Although your thin body is tormented by illness and can't stand up straight, but you still have to endure the pain, along the way with me and my mother to talk and laugh, I know, you from the military, want to give us a strong, optimistic image, I also from your deep eyes, see your desire for life.
I clearly remember that on March 10th, after the doctor gave you a series of examinations, you were still "imagining" the future, you said that you would not do any work after you were discharged from the hospital, just waiting for the pension, you also said that you did not smoke or drink, pension and veterans' subsidies are enough for you to spend. How many days off did I take? I said go back in the afternoon of the 13th and go to work on the 14th. You said timidly like a child, you may not be out of the hospital at that time, I know that you are worried that your mother will not be able to work alone in the hospital, and you are worried that your mother will not operate the smartphone when you see a doctor. I smiled and comforted you and said, Dad, it's okay, you just relax here, listen to the doctor's words, treat the disease well, I will communicate with the doctor before I leave, arrange things in the hospital, I will come to see you on the weekend, you will put your mind at ease.
On the morning of March 11th, the doctor talked to me, saying that part of the test results have not yet come out, from the existing data, the initial diagnosis of leukemia, heard the three words "leukemia", I was like five thunderbolts, tears involuntarily gushed out, after understanding your condition in detail, I repeatedly begged the doctor to do his best to save you, do not tell you the condition, there is something directly to me. Walking out of the doctor's office, helpless and desperate, I secretly found a corner and cried bitterly. Crying, I checked the characteristics of leukemia from Baidu, but I couldn't find a single sign of leukemia from you, at this time, my heart was slightly calmer, because I still had a bit of luck: maybe the doctor was mistaken.
After breakfast on March 12th, seeing that you had not shaved for two days, I took a razor from my bag and carefully shaved you, probably because you thought I was clumsy, you said you shaved yourself, I just lifted you up, the nurse came and said that the doctor let me go. I walked into the doctor's office again with a heavy step, the doctor said that all the test results came out, you were diagnosed with "acute bone marrow leukemia M2" When I heard these words, I suddenly collapsed to the ground, the doctor helped me up and said, so far, only M3 can be completely cured, but now the medical conditions are developed, M2 after treatment, can be like a normal person, but the number of review is more frequent. Listening to the doctor's words, my heart was full of hope, but the doctor told me that this disease is easy to have cerebral hemorrhage, and once the cerebral hemorrhage, even the gods can't save it, and my heart suddenly fell into a trough. Walking into the ward, you are lying on the bed, your mother is still giving you a massage, I know, at this moment I am the strong backing of you and your mother, I pretend to be very relaxed, smile and say to you, Dad, the doctor said you are fine, just a little blood problem, you don't have psychological pressure, with the doctor's treatment, it will be fine soon. You say you're not stressed, and if you can't cure it, we'll go home and don't waste money here. I said that raising children is to prevent aging, and I will not give up treating you no matter what. Dad, I never thought I would be so strong, my daughter who has always had a very low tear point, under great psychological pressure, I have not shed a tear in front of you and my mother in the past few days.
At four o'clock in the morning on March 13th, I saw the door of your ward open in the corridor, I went in to see, you were not in the ward, turned around and saw you sitting in the opposite ward, Mom supported you, Mom said you were a little uncomfortable, I was about to go to the doctor, suddenly found that your expression was a little wrong, I cried and stretched out my hands to touch your hands, you held my hands tightly, the corners of my mouth kept twitching, but I couldn't say a word, I cried and shouted: Dad, you can say what you want, your daughter is listening... But you can never say a word, just a tear in the corner of the eye, I quickly called the doctor, the doctor gave you a check, your blood pressure, electrocardiogram are normal, the doctor gave you blood transfusion, oxygen transfusion, but these are useless, less than five minutes, your left body lost consciousness. The doctor said you had a cerebellar hemorrhage and asked me if I was going home or in the intensive care unit, and I was afraid that you would suffer in the intensive care unit and that if you went into the intensive care unit and would not save your life, you would have to go to the morgue, and your friends and relatives would not even see you for the last time. I said I'm going to take you home. At that moment, I felt like my sky was falling.
I got my private 120 phone from the doctor as quickly as I could, and at nearly seven o'clock in the morning, my mother and I took you on the way home. Maybe it was too tired these days, I fell asleep in the 120 car, in my sleep I saw you still wearing the clothes you wore in the hospital, the corners of your mouth were bleeding bright red, I reached out to let me pull you, I just stretched out my hand, suddenly woke up, after nearly ten minutes, you with exhaustion, with helplessness, with reluctance, with too much attachment to the world, left us forever. I hate that I didn't have the strength to return to heaven, desperately grabbing your hand, but I still couldn't catch your fading breath, and you still left your mother and your dearest and dearest people. I gently covered your face, thinking that you were going to live alone in that cold world, my tears had long since stopped, and my mother and I were crying heart-wrenching...
Father, please forgive your daughter's filial piety, the daughter is full of hope to take you to the doctor, but failed to bring your health back, even until you left, the daughter did not tell you and her mother about your condition. My daughter often thinks that going into the intensive care unit does not know whether she can save your life, and if I can save you, then I will be the biggest sinner in the world.
Dear Dad, you just left, walked so hurriedly, but I always felt that you never went away, because every day I opened my eyes and closed my eyes, and you were in front of me. Dad, how much I want to hear from you about your heroic feats as a soldier; how much I want to lie in front of you again; how much I want you to hold me high again...
Dad, you know what? Grandma, who is 89 years old, doesn't know you're gone, and we can't imagine how she could bear the grief of a white-haired man sending a brunette when she knew you were gone.
Dad, you always had busy things before you died, you never enjoyed a little bit of leisure in life, and even when you left, you still worried about your children, and you still felt that your illness caused me trouble and delayed my work, but you know? If you are still alive, I would like you to trouble me for the rest of your life. They all say that the father loves like a mountain, and they all say that the daughter is the father's little cotton jacket, but I still have time to repay your nurturing grace, you left in such a hurry, and the daughter is now experiencing the pain of "the son wants to be raised, but the kiss does not wait".
Dad, do you remember? When I was a child, my family was poor, and every New Year you told us, "Every year is sad and every year is over, and everything is difficult to achieve." "It was then that we began to listen to your teachings, and you taught us to be kind, optimistic, and strong with your own practical actions.
Dear Dad, are you okay in heaven? You have worked hard all your life for your children, you always think that you still have a lot of things to do, and we always think that your days are still very long, but you have left in such a hurry, leaving us with too many regrets!
The deeper the spring, the more intense the thoughts, dear father, it is now the spring of March, is it also the appearance of spring and warm flowers in heaven? Now that you're alone, do you feel lonely? Is it still like that, regardless of your own exhaustion, getting up early every day and working in the dark, day and night? You have saved money and spent a lifetime, when you get to heaven, you must be kind to yourself, take care of yourself, don't work anymore, don't worry about us anymore, we hope you are all right in heaven!
Dad, you sleep forever, we often read! When we miss you, please come into our dreams and tell us what you need. If there is an afterlife, please be our father! In the future, I will take good care of my mother and take good care of my home, please rest assured!
About the author: Yu Peimei, a teacher, likes to "plant flowers and grasses poetically, raise fish and shrimp to raise temperament", in his spare time, use a thin pen to write some touching feelings in his heart. It is customary to find a habitat for the soul with a pure heart on the other side of the thin and thin text.
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One Point No. Scroll Wenyuan