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I am not a figure skating fan, and I learned about Yan Han very late. Specifically, during the 2022 Winter Olympics. He was not present on the figure skating project, but a video clip from the media was forwarded by many people and appeared on the homepage of my Weibo. In the video, Yan Han and Yu Sheng are like two sharp blades, crashing into each other at great speed on the ice. They bounced off in an instant, spun around, and fell to the ground.
People who don't pay attention to figure skating may be unfamiliar with the name "Yan Han". But in the history of Chinese figure skating, Yan Han has had very outstanding achievements. In 2012, at the age of 16, he won the Men's Singles Championship at the World Youth Championships, the first player in Chinese history to win the event. In February 2014, at the Sochi Winter Olympics, Yan Han, an adult, won the seventh place in men's singles figure skating, creating the best result in the history of Chinese figure skating men's singles.
Accidents came during the year. On November 8, 2014, the Figure Skating Grand Prix China Cup was held in Shanghai. As is customary, players warm up 6 minutes before the game to quickly adapt to the ice and find the feeling of ice. It was at this point that they crashed into each other: the two slid back-to-back, too fast, too close, and when they turned and jumped, neither of them had time to avoid each other. In the audience, people covered their mouths in surprise and watched in disbelief at everything that happened on the ice.
Injuries are the fate of athletes and are difficult to avoid. But the collision does seem like the beginning of some kind of classic narrative. Two equally good athletes with high hopes were hit by an accident at the same time. They were knocked out of their original orbits. A new version of his story has since begun: the impact did hurt his body, but the ensuing pressure, anticipation, and tug-of-war with something larger may have affected him more profoundly.
Shortly thereafter, Yan Han's left shoulder joint began to habitually dislocate. In 2017, a week before the World Championships in Helsinki, he folded his shoulders during training and had to give up the game to implant five steel nails in his shoulders. At the end of that year, he qualified for the PyeongChang Winter Olympics. But in that game, Yan Han ranked 23rd, with average results, and the media wrote that he was "more than 100 points less than the champion Yusheng Knot String". A month later, Yan Han posted on Weibo announcing his temporary departure from the national team.
For many, this is the end of the story: an athlete fulfills his mission to play for his country and ends it all when his performance declines. But for Yan Han, this is a new beginning.
The past is over. Now, he only wants to face one thing: continue to spin and fly in the middle of the ice rink without carrying heavy expectations and without pandering to the rules of the competition.
1
After watching the Beijing Winter Olympics, Yan Han's biggest feeling is that the Olympic Games have returned to the sport itself.
"Everybody's doing their best, and that's enough." In early March, yan Han wore a camel shirt and sat on a sofa in a café in Wangjing. He was tall and talked happily about the Winter Olympics. He reminded me to pay attention to the fact that in the Winter Olympics, there is not so much sword-rattling atmosphere, and in the same field, players often do not hesitate to send blessings to their opponents, "all are 'happy, happy, and self-playing'." That's enough, right? ”
He is not sorry that he did not appear in this year's Winter Olympics. He has participated in two Winter Olympics, one International Winter Youth Olympics, similar competitions, "more time, one less time, it's not so important to me." ”
There was another reason, he knew he couldn't win the championship anymore. "If you can't win the championship, what is the significance of your participation in the Olympic Games?" He thinks he can no longer compare with young people, "so he's not so envious." ”
He had already had good grades. At the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, he was the only Chinese athlete to qualify for the men's single figure skating event. He had just turned 18 that year, full of spirits, and before he set out to compete, he looked calm and fearless: "Relax, I am a newcomer, who am I afraid of?" In that match, he finished seventh, the best time in the history of Chinese figure skating men's singles.
On February 14, 2014, Yan Han, Russia, participated in the figure skating men's singles free skating final at the Sochi Winter Olympics
If you understand the history of Chinese men's singles figure skating, you will understand what this means more - since the 1990s, Chinese figure skating men's singles players such as Guo Zhengxin, Zhang Min and Li Chengjiang have begun to attack the world championships and Olympic medals, but have never succeeded.
Earlier, it was Yan Han's youth when the spring breeze was proud of horseshoe disease. From 2009 to 2012, the national champion, the world youth champion, the China Cup champion... They were all in his pocket. In particular, in 2012, at the age of 16, he won the Men's Singles Championships at the World Youth Championships, which was China's first men's singles figure skating gold medal at the World Youth Championships.
Everyone is optimistic about this young player who is in the ascendant period. At that time, the media wrote that he was a "genius teenager" and a "star of hope". He is known for his outstanding gliding technique, which is fast, light, accurate in use and full of flow.
On January 16, 2012, Insbruck, Austria, Yan Han won the men's singles competition in figure skating at the first Youth Winter Olympics
"Genius is a derogatory term." Now, Yan Han, 26, put it this way, "When everyone thinks you're a genius, it's the hardest." ”
"There is no genius in figure skating." He said firmly, with a clear attitude, "The thing I hate to hear the most is 'you're a genius.'" ”
When laymen say "genius", it is "they don't understand". People in the circle say "genius", he retorted: "Normal boys can jump into something, I just succeeded a little earlier than them, a little earlier results, that proves that my coach is great, I am a little smarter than you, just like that." 」 What genius is there? ”
He was sensitive and wary of these two words, as if all his efforts could be written off by "genius". It seems that as a genius, he is given a special mission and responsibility. Then, if he can't achieve good results in the future, he will face the lament of hurting Zhongyong.
He knew in his heart that the praise of the people around him was not deliberately killing, it was the instinctive reaction of people in the face of the championship. At one point, he was also immersed in the achievements of creating history, and he felt that the whole world was his, because his world was "so small" - "just in the small courtyard of the national team, I have never seen anything, I don't know anything."
But his life has been made a little difficult. He instinctively thought that next time he had to win the championship, otherwise he wouldn't be able to wipe his face, otherwise it would make people laugh. It seems that there is only one thing left in life to win the championship.
2
In 2014, 10 days after the accident, Yan Han appeared in the French leg of the ISU Figure Skating Grand Prix, with a total score of 216.85, ranking eighth. The results were not bad, but the media wrote that he was "not free from the impact of injuries in the China Cup collision accident".
In 2015, the Four Continents Tournament Bercleet Championship was held in Seoul, South Korea, and Yan Han won the bronze medal, setting a new personal best. But then, at the Figure Skating World Championships in Shanghai, Yan Han fell while jumping off the ice around the short show. When it came time to free skating, he danced for a nice three-and-a-half weeks, and the applause was thunderous. But soon, he fell again while jumping off the ice around him.
On March 28, 2015, In Shanghai, Yan Han fell in the men's singles free skating competition at the World Figure Skating Championships
In the audience, there were people who supported him. The mood was so intense. They applauded his every jump, and his every misstep provoked screams of anguish, and the applause that followed with encouragement. "He wanted to slide a great show in front of his father and fellow countrymen, and it's a shame that today, the magic didn't happen." A commentator for CBC Television in Canada said. In the television footage, he walks out of the ice rink in silence, and after learning the results, he covers his eyes with his hands in disappointment. This time, he ranked 10th overall.
Canadian figure skating legend Kurt Browning commented on Yan Han's performance that day: "His footwork is good, and his jumps are spectacular, but he has lost the ability to fall softly on the ice. Curt Browning found that Yan Han had some "stiffness" and that his stiffness "made small mistakes big mistakes rather than small flaws." ”
Since then, he has felt various ailments accompanied by habitual dislocation of his left shoulder joint. His performance fluctuated, like a balloon that had been suddenly deflated, bouncing up and down uncontrollably. In 2016, at the Figure Skating World Championships in Boston, Yan Han made three consecutive jumps and made mistakes, ranking 26th in the short program and missing the chance to skate free skating - according to the format, only the top 24 have the opportunity to enter the free skating.
It was the first time in his career that he had no chance to skate freely. The incident dealt him a heavy blow. Yan Han once felt that he could not hold on. In later media interviews, he used words such as "most memorable" and "most sad" to describe the impact of that competition on him.
In 2017, on the eve of the Helsinki World Championships, Yan Han's shoulder was dislocated several times. The jumping motion made him shudder. Like carrying a bomb with him, his fragile arm could fall out at any moment. He quit the game and went for surgery. It was a general anesthesia operation, and five steel nails were implanted into his shoulder. A reporter went to the hospital to visit him, he smiled and broke his finger, and told the other party: "It is a very big operation, and there are no more than five doctors in the world who can do this operation." ”
Those 5 nails are still in his body, and on rainy days, they torment his body from time to time.
That was not an ideal opportune time. It's been less than a year since the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics. He has to recuperate, he has to resume training, he has to program, he has to slide, he has to jump, he has to fall on the ice steadily after jumping. To get it all done in a short period of time sounds incredible. Lying on the hospital bed, he did think about it, or not. But he immediately began to regret it.
As long as he can get on the field , then, that's all he has to aim for. He almost lost the desire to get a place, and he knew that his body would not allow him to "win". "Maybe it's something that the outside world doesn't understand, because you're an athlete for the national team." He said to me seriously, "You don't know what I went through to stand on this field." ”
According to the doctor's advice, he needs to rest for two or three months after the operation. But there was no time, and after 28 days, Yan Han returned to the stadium full of expectations to train.
He quickly sensed something was wrong. Ordinary people may not be so sensitive, but he is an athlete, and behind those seemingly smooth movements is a very precise control of the body. He could feel any slight change. He started with the simplest jumps and steps, and these previously easy movements suddenly became complicated at the moment. It was a pain that was difficult to tell outsiders, and it involved him subtly and concretely.
In addition, he has a feeling, incomparably cruel and incomparably real: when the athlete is brilliant, countless people around him hold it, and they want whatever they want. But once the grades slip or get hurt, everything becomes "realistic". He didn't describe the gap in detail to me, saying only that "I've been through a lot of things that athletes shouldn't have experienced, and that "this 'reality' is normal because I've raised you, right?" ”
The pain lasted for a whole year. In 2018, the PyeongChang Winter Olympics. In the short program, Yan Han made mistakes in the first three and a half weeks of the opening. He was ranked 19th and barely advanced to the free skate. On that day, he told fans on Weibo: "There is still half a life left, save it for tomorrow." The next day, free skating, the two three-and-a-half week jumps that had been planned, he only completed one. Next, the mistakes came like dominoes, mercilessly, and he was crushed by a click.
On February 17, 2018, in South Korea, Yan Han made a series of mistakes in the figure skating men's singles free skating competition at the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics
23rd place. The media interviewed him with kindness, and he tried to keep smiling. A female reporter tried to draw the conversation to his injuries, trying to let the audience "know some of your hardships." He replied intermittently, and then simply said, "There's nothing to complain about, I'm an athlete." The female reporter noticed his swollen feet, and he interrupted the topic again: "There is no need to say this now, anyway, the game is already over." ”
"It's also a relief." He said this at the end of that interview.
"Liberation from what?" After 4 years, I threw the problem back to him.
"It was a painful time, and the painful period was over."
3
In March 2018, Yan Han announced his retirement on Weibo.
Next, he hadn't been on ice for at least 3 months. He has never been on the ice for so long since joining the pro team in his 10s.
He gave himself a long vacation without a return date. He went to Hangzhou, Sanya, Haikou... Play around in retaliation. He hated skating with mixed feelings. He felt it like a fire, burning himself. He just wanted to stay away from it, a little farther away.
But he will soon find that after more than a decade of sliding, jumping high, and landing heavily, his body and life have long been inseparable from it. It was a twisted, stimulating, and at the same time wonderful, addictive spin. Sooner or later, one day, he will return to the ice rink.
In June 2018, figure skaters Pang Qing and Tong Jian's Ice Art Center opened in Beijing, yan Han went there to help, and he once again stood on the ice.
He wanted to get back a feeling. That feeling had been away from him for a long time, a stretch, a relaxation, a simple and pure pleasure. There is not so much pressure and there is not too much responsibility and expectation. He wants to be someone who really enjoys skating, someone who first satisfies himself and then satisfies others.
In his story of his journey to figure skating, there is no element of bearing the burden of humiliation. He is well-off and does not need to rely on championship titles to win glory and survival capital for the entire family. He also didn't like to plant that kind of narrative on himself. "Are figure skaters hard? We skate for tens of thousands of dollars a month, is it hard? Not hard at all. He told me that being born as a human being has its own difficulties, "some people spend their brains, some people spend their bodies", "you say how difficult you are, not that you are really not easy, just that you have the right to speak." ”
His figure skating talent was discovered by grandpa. On his 5th birthday, Grandpa took him to the ice rink to skate. According to Grandpa, he can walk on the ice with his skates on. At that time, skating was a simple and fun thing for Yan Han, who slid on the ice without distraction and gained more freedom than on land.
Yan Han and Grandpa take a group photo
In order to experience the joy of being 6 again, he became a professional athlete again.
Unlike being a professional athlete in the national team, a professional skater needs to bear all the expenses of training and competition: skating needs a venue, a venue rental, three or four thousand yuan an hour, he needs 3 hours a day; in addition, he has to recover, he has to customize clothes, he has to learn dance, and everything costs money. He looked around for ice rinks, for sponsorships, and when he couldn't find them, he stood up on his own.
In China, professional figure skating is still in its infancy. "Ice rinks are commercial ice rinks, and they face you from the perspective of a businessman. It's impossible to 'come on' just because you're a champion. "Championship title, useless at the moment.
He became a former hero who ran into walls. For the first time in more than 20 years of his life, he had dealt with different people so frequently. The problems he encountered were all new. He felt tired. However, pain is sometimes accompanied by excitement. In the past, he was a "fool who didn't know anything", and now, "I am not a 'fool'." ”
The process of running around seems beautiful, even sweet. His wife was always by his side, taking care of him when he was sick, and advising him on his career. ”
The five steel nails on his left shoulder may accompany him for the rest of his life, but at this moment, he temporarily unloaded the burden on his shoulders. "I'm not a tool." Shortly after the interview began, he said so. At that time, I mentioned that this year is exactly 10 years since he set an all-time record – in 2012, he became the first Chinese athlete to win the men's singles championship at the World Youth Championships.
In a flash, 10 years have passed, and the passage of time has made him feel "incredible". "It's more about yourself now, unlike then, when it was a lot of pressure and a lot of tasks and goals." Finally, he walked to the ice rink without worrying about it, carefully worrying about failing to live up to expectations. He didn't apologize to the audience, the coach or the referee. "People don't give anything to you, there's no expectation, and there's no disappointment." Now, he only wants to be responsible for himself.
There are many kinds of athletes. Some people are "crazy", desperate, and only do one thing in their life. Some people believe that sports and life are inseparable, it is a skill, but also an expression, and a rich life experience helps to express. Yan Han belongs to the latter category. He acquires some new feelings that come from concrete life, which in turn become part of his life, nourishing his performances.
Then, everything doesn't matter anymore. Standing on the ice rink, the moment the music starts, he doesn't need recognition, doesn't care about the grades. He just wanted to relax a little, and relax a little more, like a piece of silk or a breeze, gently blowing across the ice.
4
"Figure skating legend" Kurt Browning once choreographed for Yan Han. In 2015, he commented on Yan Han in a commentary at CBC: "His best skating state is when he is playing on the ice, when he is completely free and doesn't think about anything." Kurt Browning could see that Yan Han was a bit "mechanical" when he played, and his mind was always thinking about the next action.
Browning called him "Bad Boy" — an affectionate term that represents his expectations of Yan Han, "When he relaxes and has no scruples, he can't stop it." ”
In March 2021, the World Figure Skating Championships were held in Stockholm, Sweden. Yan Han, who had just celebrated his 25th birthday, wore a blue silk shirt with the neckline slightly open, his hands in his pockets, smiling, and gliding gracefully.
The music of "Philharmonic City" sounds. From a distance, he looked like a dolphin, smooth, elegant, and lazy. CCTV commentator Chen Ying excitedly called him "the contentious Yan Han", the "heavenly help self-helper" completed the "silky slide", "the kind of slightly decadent, lazy, casual, charming, manly temperament he carries, especially suitable for his choice of "City of Philharmonic". ”
While waiting for the score, Yan Han, together with coach Jia Shuguang, finally lowered his head with no more worries. He happily gave a thumbs up to his results – 235.31 on aggregate, ranking 13th. The results were average, but it was the easiest game for him.
Or rather, he didn't see it as a game, and even the preparation process was full of joy. At first, Yuka Sato, who choreographed for him, chose some classical music, but Yan Han refused. He proposed that with Philharmonic City, he wanted a show like this — not particularly competitive, but a good show.
He didn't want to pander to the rules anymore. Figure skating's scoring criteria are constantly changing, sometimes seeking balance and sometimes favoring difficulty. He once likened it to a four-year cycle of popular colors, sometimes popular green, sometimes popular blue. Some athletes will program according to their needs to ensure performance. But he didn't want to.
He came to the ice with Yuka Sato and Kurt Browning, and they danced and learned from each other to the music, and the show was written in a "particularly relaxed state". It's not a difficulty show, and for figure skaters, it lacks complex movements and techniques — what matters is the feeling, a feeling of freedom, stretching that he wants to convey to the audience.
This feeling, once gone away from him, is now miraculously reunited on the ice. He began to enjoy the game, enjoy being in the spotlight, enjoy the eyes of the audience and the referee all converging on him. He was no longer afraid of being judged, and he felt that those eyes seemed to be well-intentioned, and so many people were nervous for him, cheering for him. "Normal people may not encounter such a moment in their lifetime, everyone is looking at you, I feel very happy." 」
He knows that as he gets older, the chances to play will become less and less. He also knew that he couldn't win the championship anymore. This is not a confessional, sad word. He told me that when most athletes are in the workforce, they will have a highlight of their own, "there are two very few." In any case, age is the biggest shackle of the industry, which is a natural thing. "You've all slipped down here, and it's nice to be able to climb back." Can you climb to the world championship? No way. He stressed again, "I just know myself better."
Regarding competitive sports, he said a lot of "cruelty". The cruel thing is that people only remember champions, and athletes devote all their energy and time from an early age. What about after decommissioning? Some people can go to the club as a coach. What about more people? The lower the threshold of the project, the higher the risk, after the age of illumination, "can not be lit up" .
He said it was a huge bet, the chip was life, and life couldn't start all over again. We talked about this year's Winter Olympics. I mention Gu Ailing and Su Yiming, who look so free, loose and bright, and they demonstrate what a life can be shaped without too much interference. He agreed, saying that they skied, not to pursue fame and profit, but to love from the bottom of their hearts, "There are people on the snow like this, and there will soon be on the ice." "Right now, if he can get this path straight, maybe it will give those young athletes more options."
The only thing he had to do now was to empty his mind, let go of utilitarianism, and glide, jump, and dance on the ice like a show.
"Someone plays a sport he likes to win the championship. Some people are for pleasure, enjoyment, have different experiences, have good memories. "I'm back in that state now." ”
(Source: Tencent News)
* Some images are from the internet