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The term "circle" is "interpersonal relationship", which refers to the direct psychological relationship formed by people through interaction and action, in a period of time, each other will use the ideas, feelings, behaviors of the attraction, resistance, cooperation and leadership of the interactive relationship, is a social relationship in the cultural system model, manifested as people's psychological distance, individual response to the psychological tendencies of others and so on.
A person's interpersonal relationship directly determines a person's level and psychological state, and different ages also need different interpersonal relationships as a blessing, but when people reach the age of 50, even if their lives are down, they must stay away from these three "circles".
Rely on the old to sell the old circle
Relying on the elderly usually has a very high self-esteem, and their psychological endurance will be extremely low, by degrading others, to enhance their psychological status.
And with their own age as their own capital, and this type of people will be "psychologically homogeneous", lower their own self-standards, and improve the requirements for society, thus forming a closed state of self, unable to accept the doubts of others, placing themselves in the center of the times and the family, trying to "live a long time" as their own control of their capital.
Regularly associating with people in this "circle" increases the probability of being grumpy and thinking that everyone is sorry for themselves.
A circle chasing fame and fortune
The pursuit of fame and fortune is the instinct of human nature, but this kind of person is dependent on the improvement of their own strength, when people reach 50, the strength of all aspects is declining, then the circle at this time, on the surface and kind, seems to support each other, in fact, for the sake of interests by any means.
More than half a hundred people, and then the excessive pursuit of fame and fortune is actually of little significance, and may hurt their own children and grandchildren, hooks and corners will eventually hurt themselves.
A circle of opportunism
There are old people on the top and 50 years old on the bottom, and with the decline of the retirement age in society, many people are very stressed. Then at this time, there are many people who will be mixed in various opportunistic circles, hoping to use some opportunistic ways to get rich and make a lot of money when they are still able to work.
But this kind of circle is often the abyss that leads you to the wrong way, and at the age of 50, if there is no strong family resources as a blessing, then it is likely to "lose the lady and fold the army".
Each stage has its own "circle" of life, which not only represents our communication network, but also represents our "psychological social development".
Eriksson believes that a person's life is to go through eight stages of psychosocial evolution, then each stage we will produce corresponding mental states and behavioral manifestations.
This evolution is called "behavioral lateralization", and its process is divided into eight stages, namely four stages of childhood, one stage of adolescence and three stages of adulthood, each stage has its own tasks to be completed, and the development of each stage needs to be based on the completion of the previous stage, and these eight stages are closely linked, thus forming a complete "personality theory" of a person.
Psychosocial development believes that the behavior produced by each of us at different stages is a combination of physiological desires and a cultural force acting on the individual, and each stage has the core tasks to be completed at each stage, and when the tasks are properly solved, we can smoothly move to the next stage.
At the age of 50, we gradually get rid of the youth stage and enter the middle-aged and elderly stage, then if this period does not know how to update their "circle", still entangled in those circles that will drag themselves down, it will not be worth the loss, even if they are currently very depressed, there are still some "circles" to stay away from, otherwise they will make their middle-aged and elderly stages very bad, thus affecting their own development in the next stage.
In the 50-year-old entity, stagnation and maladaptation can gradually create our own conflicts, and first we have to correct our own mentality.
Each stage of conflict is called a "crisis", but this kind of crisis is a situation that people will inevitably encounter in the process of development, and when this crisis and the positive and negative poles established in this stage are stretched, it can better help us to pass through the next stage smoothly.
Therefore, this also warns us that we must not lower our requirements for interpersonal relationships because of the crisis of age, and try to integrate into some "circles" that are not suitable for us.
Maybe in the middle and old age, we will try to adjust ourselves, but benign positive self-adjustment should be to accept the self, to recognize the feeling of reality, Erikson believes: "Only when we can treat life with a detached attitude, we will not be dragged down by life, nor will we fall into the false mud created by life." ”
Then even if you are very depressed, you must examine your life and communication network, and do not indulge in dangerous "circles".
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205