In life, it is not difficult for us to see a phenomenon, that is, most people will be used to pleasing the people around them, afraid that the other party will not like themselves, and even alienate and hate themselves.
I will also be afraid that others will look at me with strange eyes, which also causes us to become cautious at this time.
It is more likely that because of a look from others, I have let myself be troubled by this for many days, and I have not found an answer.
In the long run, it is easy to become unconfident, more likely to produce anxiety, which will seriously affect our physical health and mental health.
After most people have these troubles, they will affect work, feelings, marriage and family, etc., and these flattering personalities bring far more troubles than this.
So, how should we change the flattering personality?
First, respect your own needs
First of all, we must know how to learn to respect our own needs, most people with a flattering personality, most of the time do not know how to respect their own needs, will compromise with each other's preferences.
Or how others say and how they do it.
Ignoring your own needs for a long time will make yourself an old and good person, and when getting along with people, it seems to be in the interests of others first, but in fact, it will not be recognized and praised by others. It will only make others think that you are good at talking, good at bullying, as long as you have a tough attitude, you will compromise, so the people around you do not respect you, and over time, you will lose yourself.
Therefore, if you want to change the flattering personality, the first thing to do is to respect your own needs and let others know that you are also an opinionated and needy person, not a person who can give up your needs for anything.
Slowly others will find out your changes, begin to respect you, and slowly attract people with the same frequency as you, whether friends or lovers, to maintain a long-term relationship, what is needed is long-term attraction, not laborious flattery.
Second, learn to refuse
If you want to change the flattering personality, the second step is to learn to refuse, the reason why people will become a flattering personality, mainly from a very young age to develop a habit, which has a lot to do with their own living environment.
For example, when you are a child, if you are not concerned by your parents, you will find ways not to win the favor of your parents, and most of the older generation's education methods are stick education, believing that being strict with children is for the good of children and being more filial when they grow up.
This kind of behavior invisibly cultivated the birth of a generation of flattering personalities.
With the experience of facing parents from childhood, this behavior habit will mostly be used in life and work, whether it is getting along with friends and colleagues, or getting along with lovers, they will agree to each other's requests because they will not refuse.
In the long run, people around you know your weaknesses, and they know how to make you compromise, and there are ways to pinch you, which will also make you more without edges and corners and without self.
Therefore, when others want you to do something you are not willing to do, you must know how to refuse, and the attitude must be resolute, there is no room for negotiation, rather than giving the other party an ambiguous answer, so that the other party feels that you can regress, and others will naturally not give up this opportunity to let you compromise.
In turn, you have been wandering and struggling, making compromises again and again, so that you can never change the flattering personality.
Third, the details determine success or failure
It is said that details determine success or failure, so if you want to completely change the flattering personality, you must start from the details.
You can find a book, write down the points that are easiest to compromise, and then change them one by one, and paste these points in your usual eye-catching place to remind yourself not to forget.
For each point completed, you can give yourself some rewards appropriately, and make yourself feel confident after the change, and these rewards are also worth the money.
Then slowly change those inconspicuous details in life, and naturally you will regain your confidence and find your confident self step by step.
Once people have self-confidence, they will not feel that they are inferior to others, and they are also worthy of being loved, respected, and flattered by others, and confident people will shine all over their bodies, and naturally they will attract people around them, love you, protect you, and do not leave you.
The most comfortable relationship between people is to attract each other.