Text / Wake up
Editor / Little Love Letter
"At that time, I felt that everyone around me was married, so I would get married, and if not, I would leave when the time came."
This is what the actor Shen Danping said when she mentioned her German husband Wu Wei, who is 14 years older than her, but who would have thought that Shen Danping, who married with such an idea, would hold on to this marriage for 38 years.
With the development of the times, marrying foreigners is not a new thing, but marrying a German in the 80s is tantamount to challenging the bottom line of society and your own family.
Shen Danping originally let go of a lot of suitors, but wanted to stand on the opposite side of the world and marry Wu Wei.
But with the passage of time, Shen Danping is not only a wife, but also a cook and nanny at home, and the marriage that was once so sure is really as happy as she said?
01
"Shen Danping's beauty lies in it, she has a special beauty of that age in every age group, she has had the youth of a twenty-year-old girl, and she has also had the maturity of a forty-year-old woman."
For Shen Danping's evaluation, many people can't escape a word - beauty, not to say that the country is falling into the city, or people can't help but stop and appreciate.
Such beauty makes Shen Danping like an evergreen tree in the show business circle, flourishing forever, playing a teenage girl and also playing a rural woman who loves to talk about right and wrong.
In the 43 years of her career as an actress, she has shot countless excellent works, won numerous awards, and won the Hundred Flowers Award for Best Actress at the age of 34.
But who would have thought that such an excellent actor would be from a small rural area in Nanjing.
"Jiangnan Jialidi, Jinling Imperial Prefecture", speaking of Nanjing, I think most people will think of the plane trees that can be seen everywhere, and think of the beautiful bauhinia flowers.
In 1960, Shen Danping was born in this extremely prosperous and romantic city.
However, at that time, Shen Danping's family was poor, she was the second oldest in the family, she had an older brother and sister, and the family of five was still relatively poor.
But it was such a poor family, when she learned that Shen Danping wanted to go to the Beijing Film Academy to take the exam, she still supported her bravely to try.
And her film dream stemmed from the fact that when she was still in middle school, she saw "Haixia" starring Cai Ming, and Cai Ming was really beautiful at that time, with big eyes and melon face.
Relatives watching TV said that Shen Danping looked a bit like Cai Ming, and they all quipped that Shen Danping could write to Cai Ming to let her take her own filming.
The speaker was unintentional, the listener was intentional, and Shen Danping really plucked up the courage to write a letter to Cai Ming.
In the end, this letter undoubtedly sank into the sea, but the dream of being an actor took root in Shen Danping's heart.
Therefore, when Shen Danping decided to go to Beijing for examination, when his father sent Shen Danping to the train, he took out 50 yuan from the family to give Shen Danping, perhaps afraid that his daughter was too stressed, and specially comforted her:
"It's okay if you don't get in, your family can't afford to go to Beijing, and if you don't get admitted, you should go to Beijing for us."
In this way, Shen Danping embarked on the road of pursuing her dreams alone, and fortunately Shen Danping got the admission letters of the Beijing Film Academy and the Central Academy of Drama at the same time.
In the end, Shen Danping chose the Beijing Film Academy, which can be regarded as living up to the expectations of herself and her family.
When she was a sophomore at the Beijing Film Academy, Shen Danping participated in "Lily Flower", although she played the main role, but it was also an official debut.
In 1980, "The Forgotten Corner of Love" began to be cast nationwide, and in the era when there were many monks and few porridges, the number of people participating in the audition was innumerable, and even many people were not satisfied with the filming, and asked the director to give it another chance.
Although Shen Danping also wanted to be elected, after taking a picture, she did not ask for a second chance, but walked away neatly, with a free look of "winning my life and losing my luck".
Later, it may be Shen Danping's free nature that made the director notice her, felt that she had the strength of the heroine, and personally selected Shen Danping to play the coal digging sister.
Shen Danping began to become popular with this work, and while her career was booming, the graduation season also followed.
Shen Danping also met her true son, Wu Wei, after graduating from college.
02
"My lover and I fell in love with each other at first sight, but maybe he fell in love with me first."
Shen Danping and Wu Wei met at a party, and before Shen Danping noticed Wu Wei, Wu Wei had already fallen in love with Shen Danping, who sat quietly in the corner.
Wu Wei is an authentic German who came to China because of cultural exchanges.
As a German, he has seen too many Western women's warm and unrestrained feelings, and he feels that Westerners lack that sense of mystery, so he is only fascinated by introverted and implicit Chinese women.
In order to catch up with Shen Danping, Wu Wei specially told his friends that he brought Shen Danping to the party after that, and Wu Weicai and Shen Danping became friends, and Shen Danping also had a good feeling for the gentle character of Wu Wei's gentleman.
However, at that time, the two were still ordinary friends, and what really made the relationship between the two go further was at Shen Danping's birthday party.
In order to catch up with Shen Danping, Wu Wei deliberately inquired about Shen Danping's birthday, asked her to celebrate her birthday together, and prepared a Chinese daughter Hong to celebrate her birthday.
Shen Danping didn't think much about it, but her daughter Hong's wine was very sweet to drink, but it was also easy to get drunk, and there were few cups, Shen Danping had already drunk a little fluttery.
Wu Wei saw that Shen Danping was drunk and took the opportunity to make a request to be together, and Shen Danping was also confused and happily agreed.
The next day, after Shen Danping woke up, he already had a good feeling for Wu Wei, and he naturally got together.
Shen Danping originally did not have many expectations for this relationship, but felt that she liked it together, but Wu Wei's gentleness and affection always touched her.
It wasn't long before they were together, Shen Danping needed to go out to work and shoot a scene, and before leaving, she gave Wu Wei a large jar of hairy eggs and told him:
"If you like me, you'll eat a hairy egg."
When she returned, she found that Wu Wei had eaten the whole jar of woolly eggs.
Later, Shen Danping learned that Wu Wei actually hated eating hairy eggs, because he thought of her, so he had to eat the hairy eggs she sent by herself.
Such gentleness and romance completely overwhelmed Shen Danping.
Wu Wei had mentioned marriage to her before, but at that time she felt that getting married was not the same as falling in love, she had to talk about love for two or three years, and it would take seven or eight years to examine this person before she would get married.
Because I have witnessed too many marriages, I am extra cautious.
However, after getting along with Wu Wei, Shen Danping finally went against her own ideas and agreed to Wu Wei's marriage proposal after three months together.
But marriage is not a matter of two people, but a matter of two families, and in which era it is not easy for a Chinese to marry a German.
After Shen Danping decided to marry Wu Wei, everyone, including relatives and friends, and even her own parents, was opposed.
In particular, Shen Danping's mother, when she saw Wu Wei, she unceremoniously commented:
"A pair of blue eyes is very scary, the bridge of the nose is high and the nose is hooked, and it is not a good person at first glance."
Shen Danping's family originally had a bad impression of Wu Wei, and coupled with the rumors that Wu Wei was a secret agent sent from Germany, they were even more opposed, and Shen Danping's mother even said directly:
"Your father and I are people who are half-buried in the loess soil, and what we value most is face, and if you want to marry him, we will give you a broken bowl and a beating stick as a dowry."
The meaning of the words is to oppose, and at that time, China had not yet issued relevant documents on the combination with foreigners.
In other words, Shen Danping and Wu Wei's love is also not allowed in law.
Shen Danping withstood tremendous pressure and Wu Wei said that she was embarrassed, and Wu Wei carefully comforted:
"It's okay, I can wait, I'll definitely marry you."
Who knew that later, when the state really waited for the state to issue the relevant documents for marrying foreigners, Shen Danping still married Wu Wei despite everyone's opposition.
At that time, the marriage was not done vigorously, and Wu Wei took Shen Danping to a jewelry store in Wangfujing and asked Shen Danping to pick the most expensive silver ring as a wedding ring.
The ring was only 12 yuan, and Shen Danping often joked that she was cheated by Wu Wei for twelve yuan later.
But it has only been six months since they met and got married, and a marriage that has not been fully examined and considered can really be happy?
02
After marriage, Shen Danping also spent a happy and beautiful life.
Shen Danping became pregnant and gave birth to two daughters, and the world of the two became a family of four, happy and happy.
Although there were some language barriers in the initial communication between the two people, Wu Wei only Chinese badly, not that he did not know anything about Chinese, so the difference in language could not become a stumbling block on the road of marriage between the two.
In addition, Wu Wei is indeed romantic to the bone, often bringing Shen Danping a lot of romance and surprises in life, so Shen Danping's evaluation of marriage in those years has reached a full score.
In Wu Wei's words:
"I don't smoke or drink, I don't look at the ladies outside, and I don't beat my wife."
Not only that, Wu Wei is also considerate and thoughtful to Shen Danping in life, Shen Danping is a person who does not care much about his own dress, and usually goes out to feel comfortable to wear.
However, Wu Wei felt that no, his wife should be dressed up beautifully, so he took the initiative to take over the task of buying clothes for Shen Danping.
Every time he went out shopping, Wu Wei shuttled through various women's clothing stores, and sometimes he didn't know whether it was suitable or not, so he looked for a sales comparison with Shen Danping' body shape.
Therefore, almost all of Shen Danping's clothes and outfits were handled by Wu Wei, and even some jewelry and costumes were bought by Wu Wei for Shen Danping.
However, occasionally the clothes and jewelry that Wu Wei bought were not in line with Shen Danping's wishes, and although Shen Danping was happy to receive gifts from her husband.
But not to like is not to like, so he gave the jewelry to his daughters to bring.
Who knew that when his daughter was brought by Wu Wei, he would recognize her, even if it was her own daughter, Wu Wei would "want" to go back without mercy.
Probably this is the parent is the true love, the child is just an accident.
But life is not only romantic and flowers, but also chai rice oil salt ginger vinegar tea.
Over time, Shen Danping also found that the two had serious differences in their lives, and such differences even directly affected whether their marriage could continue.
Shen Danping is an authentic Chinese woman who loves this small family, so she always wants to clean up this home neatly and cleanly.
But Wu Wei is just the opposite, because Wu Wei is the only son in their family, so the whole family treats him as a little prince, so Wu Wei does not like to do housework and hygiene, nor can he cook.
At first, Shen Danping felt that there was nothing, since Wu Wei could not cook, then she was ready, and it was also a kind of happiness to be able to watch her beloved eat her own meals.
After a few years of doing nothing, the two had two lovely daughters, but Wu Wei was still lazy as ever when he became a father, not doing housework or cooking.
Every time Shen Danping came home, she had to clean up first and then go into the kitchen to cook for a long time to give their father and daughter three people to eat, such a life was too long, Shen Danping would also complain.
Once Shen Danping had finished work at five o'clock and was ready to go home to cook, but it happened that there was a hail jam on the road, and she didn't return home until more than eight o'clock.
When they returned home, their two daughters were so hungry that their faces were white, and Wu Wei was still sitting there calmly and calmly, frightening Shen Danping and being anxious and angry, and rushed to cook for the children.
Sometimes cooking and doing housework is urgent, and the two people will inevitably quarrel, Shen Danping does not understand why Wu Wei can not learn to cook and do housework, why everything has to be done by himself.
But what was even more infuriating was that Shen Danping crackled and said a lot, but Wu Wei, as a foreigner, couldn't understand because she spoke too quickly, and asked specifically:
"What are you talking about, I don't understand, can you explain?"
Such words were simply provocative in Shen Danping's eyes, and she was often angry that Shen Danping's seven tricks smoked, and she also had the idea of wanting to divorce countless times.
But whenever this kind of thought arises, Wu Wei will soften in time and make her soft heart stop.
Perhaps many people can't understand why Shen Danping would quarrel over such a thing.
When Shen Danping was clearly expressing her dissatisfaction and emotions, Wu Wei would only say "I don't understand" and "nonsense".
This kind of incomprehension was the main reason why Shen Danping was angry.
Secondly, marriage is not something that can be maintained by a single party, and the family does not belong to Shen Danping alone, just like housework cannot be done by Shen Danping alone.
After all, Shen Danping got married to be able to live a better life, not to wait for a great uncle and do more housework.
Fortunately, Wu Wei may also understand his shortcomings later, and after the quarrel, he will not only be soft, but also do his best to make changes.
For example, in the morning, I will get up early to help prepare breakfast, and try to help Shen Danping reduce her workload.
Although this matter is very small, it also allows Shen Danping to see his attitude, which is why this marriage can last for 38 years.
03
Now her marriage with Wu Wei has almost run into it, although this marriage is not as happy as she once thought, and even often makes her feel tired.
But it did make Shen Danping feel the beauty of marriage, not all of them were chicken feathers.
Now that the eldest daughter Dan Dan has married, she has found an ordinary Chinese guy, and now that the family is happy, there is no need for Shen Danping to worry too much.
And the little daughter Anna, who worried Shen Danping the most, also survived the rebellious period and became more sensible.
Shen Danping once quarreled with Anna as soon as they met, and even blocked all of Anna's contact information because of the quarrel.
It was still her husband Wu Wei who played the function of a peacemaker, and the relationship between Shen Danping and her young daughter was as good as ever.
Because of the happy family life, Shen Danping has the energy to continue to sprint on the road of actors.
Recently, she starred in "My Name is Zhao Jiadi" as Lafayette Zhao, a strong Zhao family grandmother with a strong personality, love and hatred, which is quite loved by the audience.
As for Shen Danping's married life, as an audience, I can't evaluate whether it is worth it, after all, the hardship is real, and it is also true that wu Wei is taken seriously.
And Shen Danping's beautiful marriage continues, and when the world is disturbed, she cooks delicious meals for her family at home.
And Wu Wei wrote quietly in the study, and the years were quiet for a long time.
Although Shen Danping often complained that Wu Wei did not do housework, he often said that he wanted to divorce, and often said that he was "cheated into marriage".
But clear-eyed people know that she actually really loves Wu Wei, is really in love, and will cook for him for 38 years.
And because of the controversy of marrying foreigners, with the passage of time, and the happiness that Shen Danping's face could not deceive people, it can be known that happiness and love have never had anything to do with nationality.
Most love can't survive the itch of seven years, and can't survive chai rice oil salt ginger vinegar tea.
Although Shen Danping gave them a full score of seven out of ten in the seventh year of their marriage, she scored a full score in the current situation of marriage.
Therefore, there is no perfect marriage, some are just mutual tolerance, mutual understanding, two-way to each other, only two-way choice, marriage can be maintained for a long time.