Foreword: Most of the text of this article, the earliest time, is probably written in December 2010 (it has been more than ten years), but so far, it does not feel far apart, even if some places of the narrative, or slightly "out of place" feeling, but does not cause a fundamental difference in personal concepts; moreover, even if compared with the present, there is a great "limitation", it is not necessary to rush to correct, as a mark of the mental journey, but more of the original reserved meaning! Therefore, it is not intended to be too much modification.
Writing such a topic, or writing such a type of article, is difficult to write "thoroughly". Man is inherently complex, and all the propositions about human nature are even more complex and difficult to think, and whenever we talk about it, we have to add: personal stupidity!
Regarding love, I didn't understand it in the past, and I don't understand it very much now, but it should be "I don't understand it very much."
Some things are so strange that when you don't know much, you think you know very well, and the more you know, the more confused you feel. This is perhaps the biggest difference between emotional things and rational things.
You want me to say to a girl, "I love you!" I myself would have felt very fake, at least now; but saying "I like you!" "It's not the same.
When it comes to love, people always associate it with happiness. For the happiness from love, I always feel very far away, like a dim street lamp in the cold winter night, seeing its light from a distance, but I can't really feel its warmth. I have always been enlightened, even to this day, I have never really understood it, just as I have not really understood love itself, even if I may have had it, but I have never really felt it. Just know that sometimes some people about certain things, or certain things about certain people, but always control their emotions, or joy or sorrow, or sorrow or sorrow, or thoughts or complaints, all of which are quietly written on the note of memory.
Maybe happiness is what becomes a memory and makes us miss it deeply— or the past, or the present life.
In the midst of this nostalgia, a feeling of happiness arises. Although it is often permeated with feelings of regret and regret, just as everything that makes us feel happy is often the source of our own pain, everything will still be accepted by us in the image of beauty. This is probably one of the main reasons why many people are hurt by their feelings but still obsessive.
I thought that a truly solid love needed to go through the grind of life. This is not to say that one has to go through a thousand lifetimes of love to cultivate the right results, but it is only to say that solid love should be tested by life and can withstand any form of test!
However, in our current environment, we cannot find a suitable test condition. Even so, there are many so-called loves that cannot pass even the most superficial test of the present. (Narrator: The context of this sentence is more than a decade ago when the economy was not yet fully independent, and the whole article is the same!) ）
I think that love like ours in this period is always nearly illusory, can happen at any time, and can be disillusioned at any time.
I'm a near-reality person, although sometimes a little idealistic. But for feelings, I admit that I can't be idealistic, even if you think I'm not noble enough, or even disdain my vulgarity.
In today's world, if a man does not have his own career, he cannot assume his own responsibilities, at least not well.
And love means responsibility, great responsibility!
In fact, many people who think they love to death and live do not necessarily understand this. They are simply bent on taking the other person for themselves completely, declaring ownership of her or him to the whole world, and strangling the love of others for their object of love, whether or not it is as sincere as their own, as worthy of respect as they are! Thinking that this is a kind of love, a duty of love.
In fact, this is the narrowest and most selfish kind of love—if it is still called love.
I think that the lives of two people who love each other should intersect rather than overlap or contain, and only by seeking common elements in their own relatively independent life courses can each other's lives and emotions be sublimated to a higher realm.
Independence for ideals, gathering together for love, maybe this is the way love wants to go.
Why do you always feel that love is very fragile, and you have become so easy to be hurt, especially women? You may be able to find many self-justified explanations, but one thing cannot be ignored: love requires relative independence! In other words, it is only possible to seek and dominate their love under the premise that they are quite independent!
Today's women are no longer appendages of men who "follow their fathers at home, marry their husbands, and die from their sons"; they should be completely equal to men, at least in personality. Although the reality may be biased, they should try their best to fight for it.
So there's a saying that makes sense: "If you're not independent yourself, then don't expect you to get truly happy love!" ”
This kind of independence is both spiritual and material, and you can't even tell the difference between the light and the heavy!
Some people say that love should not be too realistic. I always felt as if it was an obscure sentence that did not finish the second half of the sentence, but I really did not understand what this sentence implied.
If you think that love is only a way to satisfy spiritual needs, as a way to pin down the throbbing emotions in the heart, but if love is only a means of dispelling inner loneliness, then I think this is not a clever means, because when it is all over, it will be even more lonely!
If you say that love is a testimony to the experience of youth, then I think it is also far-fetched and demeans love. Because there are many other things that can be witnessed as a witness to youth.
Love should not be a souvenir, nor a testimony of youth, but a part of our lives!
Admittedly, everyone who begins to fall in love will beautifully envision that this relationship can be eternal, just as when a new person entering the church answers "I do" to each other, he will never expect to walk out of the siege of marriage in ten, twenty or years or years later with pain and part ways.
You might say that I am a pessimist of love, but I think it would be more accurate to call it realism. But I have never doubted the beauty of love itself, in fact it is as precious as all other sincere emotions!
When it comes to love, it is always impossible to avoid the problem of loving and being loved.
Yes, being loved is definitely a kind of happiness, and being loved is also a kind of happiness. When you truly give your feelings, what you hope for most is not to get satisfaction in the same emotional return, but to live a good life in your own sight!
In a nutshell, I thought there were two necessary conditions for feelings:
First, it is necessary to use the heart, which is a condition of sensibility. Many people will agree with this, and many people can do it, just as hungry people definitely have the heart to eat. However, this is different, because eating is a physical need, and love is a spiritual need, the two should not be placed on the same height, in fact, everyone who eats will, but there may not be many people who really know how to love.
Second, there needs to be a considerable material basis. This is rational, and this is often avoided intentionally or unconsciously, thinking that feelings of material things will immediately become intolerable, although they themselves know that feelings that are detached from matter do not exist, and will not exist before, now and in the future!
In fact, it is not the material that vulgarizes feelings, but the person himself!
Love in fairy tales is desirable because both factors are perfectly combined. If the material is removed and the prince and princess are replaced by a pair of beggars, even if they have such a beautiful love, they probably will not make people feel how to yearn for it. Although it will also be exchanged for people's tears and praise, but what is the use?
People are always like this, and when they are asked to pay the same price to become as noble as they praise, they are not necessarily willing.
While this may be a bit of an exaggeration, exaggeration can sometimes act as microscopic, allowing you to see something that has been overlooked!
So now many people are easy to love, and it is easy to give up love. For they realize that in order to maintain this noble and pure feeling that is not stained with a trace of material tackiness, they must inevitably "secularize" it, and when they find that they do not even have the ability to "vulgarize", what can they do without giving up?
You have to ask me, "Life and death are broad, and the son is said." Holding the hand of the son, growing old with the son. Believe it or not?
Instead of believing this statement, it is more real to admit that love itself is beautiful. Believe it or not, even if you have not reached such a high realm, you can't be sure that no one can achieve it, platonic love has existed, but I don't know who can reinterpret such a sublime now?
This sublime is indeed too high, and even if you are lucky enough to climb it, you will not be able to support it for long because of the lack of oxygen.
But I don't say, "I don't believe," for whatever reason. Although I know I'll probably be closer to this answer as most people are.
Of course, this "majority" should not include most people who are bathing in love, especially the "children of the family" who are not yet fully self-reliant!
Because they will not appreciate or more deeply realize the indispensable importance of material things to feelings. Therefore, they have the condition that as long as they can get temporarily satisfied feelings as long as they want, they also have reason to believe that love has little to do with matter, and the two feelings can be happy forever!
These words, in your opinion, may deviate from, or even be far from, the concepts of sacredness, sublime and beautiful in your mind. But don't be nervous, and there's no need to be angry, because I never had the intention of imposing these views on you. Even if you feel this way, it should be a regret that the willing one is hooked.
But I am just such a person, not noble or contemptuous. Although I can say it as "noblely" as possible. But that's not my realm, at least now!
Maybe one day I feel that my realm has improved, I think it is necessary to correct it, in order to reflect my heart more truly.