Wen 丨 Qingxin Junyue
In the life of Yan Baoyue, there were three important women.
They carried out Yan Baoyue's childhood, adolescence, and youth.
A man with a gentle face who walked into his life, gave him a "wild child", infinite love and care, but eventually became the driving force of his ten-year nightmare;
A man with a body full of hard thorns broke into his life, disgusted him, admired him, and made him feel painful, and finally prompted him to break through the locks of his heart and break free from the nightmare.
Another, with a proud attitude to enrich his military life, let him understand what love and heartbeat is, and has been on his dream road, encouraging him, supporting him, understanding him, firmly believing that he will become the kind of person he wants to become.
The little mother who loves him the most, pushes him into hell with her own hands
When Yan Baoyue was five years old, he met Pei Yanyan.
A beautiful Shanghai woman, the family conditions are very solid, and her grandfather is a Hong Kong businessman.
In the year of yan's birth, he lost his biological mother. Since childhood, he did not know what his mother's love was, and he felt unprecedented warmth and affection in Pei Yanyan.
At that time, he did not understand what a "stepmother" was. He rejoiced in the woman who suddenly appeared in his life of dependence on his father.
As for the reason, it is actually quite simple. Gentle words, countless snacks and all sorts of quirky toys are enough to conquer a five-year-old.
When Pei Yanyan carefully asked him, "Broken Yue, if you let Aunt Pei be your mother, would you be willing?" At that time, Yan Baoyue replied without hesitation: "Good! ”
In this way, Pei Yanyan became the stepmother of Yan Baoyue, who still carried baby fat. She solemnly promised Yan Baoyue:
"Broken Yue, I promise you, if I really become your mother, even if I have my own children in the future, my favorite is still Broken Yue, and no one can rob you."
A year later, Pei Yanyan was eight months pregnant.
While she was looking forward to the arrival of a new life, she was enjoying Yan Baoyue's attachment to herself, everything was so beautiful.
However, no one expected that an egg roll would completely destroy the happiness within reach.
One day, Yan Baoyue took the egg roll with peanut butter bought from outside, ran to Pei Yanyan, and handed it to his favorite little mother like a treasure. A few seconds ago, he also asked Pei Yanyan with a look of anticipation:
"Mom, is it delicious?"
What awaited him was a gentle response: "Well, it's fragrant. But then the accident happened.
Looking at Pei Yanyan, who had difficulty breathing in front of her and her pale face, Yan Baoyue was stunned. He didn't know that this was a symptom of peanut allergy, and Pei Yanyan knew that he was allergic to peanuts, but he didn't know that there were peanuts in the egg roll.
In order to save the child in her belly, Pei Yanyan used a knife to pierce a one-centimeter-wide wound on her neck to keep her breathing smooth and avoid herself and the fetus in her abdomen from choking to death.
At that moment, looking at the little mother who was covered in blood, Yan Baoyue was almost frightened.
He simply couldn't understand what was going on. I only knew that at this time, his favorite little mother was very painful, and very strange, and fear swept through his body, and he stayed motionless.
After Pei Yanyan wrote the words "Go and call your father" on the sheets with blood, Yan Baoyue rushed to his father Yan Shixiang's unit like crazy while crying and shouting.
Although there were no corpses and two lives, the child in Pei Yanyan's womb was still gone, and she completely lost her fertility.
Until many years later, Yan Baoyue clearly remembered the scene of that year, and he could not forget the peanut that his favorite little mother sprinkled on him when she left his home with his father.
So that in the nearly ten years after the age of six, as long as someone mentioned the word "peanut", his body was like a huge injury, pain, fear, difficulty breathing, loss of all strength, so that his peers insulted and bullied.
For him, peanuts were synonymous with the curse of the "devil."
It was peanuts that hurt his beloved little mother and eventually left him. It was also peanuts that made him personally ruin his originally happy and warm home.
Even if his father never blamed him, even if the truth was that Pei Yanyan left discouraged because she did not say goodbye to his father, he still could not forgive himself.
All he knew was that without peanuts, he would never have lost the woman he loved the most. Since then, Yan Baoyue's childhood has only been left with the ultimate fear of peanuts, and he is simply powerless to break it.
As written in the original book:
"Probably because he liked his former stepmother very much, he would show such an expression, maybe it was because he liked it too much, he cared too much, and after accidentally hurting, he would become what he is now."
It was Pei Yanyan who gave Yan Baoyue unattainable motherly love and warmth, and it was also the peanut before Pei Yanyan left, pushing him into hell, unable to save himself, and unwilling to save himself.
Until the age of sixteen, Yan Baoyue's fear of peanuts was still the same, even if his father's brothers taught them all the skills and skills. But as long as he takes out a peanut, or mentions the word peanut, he will be paralyzed on the ground and completely lose all the ability to resist.
The dearest sister, rescued him from the abyss
In Yan Baoyue's father, he tried countless ways, but he could not cure his son's fear of peanuts, and the appearance of a girl pulled Yan Baoyue out of the abyss.
He was sixteen years old.
He was trained by his father's brothers in the mountains for two months, and when he returned, there was a girl named Liu Zhaodi in the family.
At first, he thought that the woman in front of him had come to replace Pei Yanyan as his stepmother, and he angrily wanted to drive her away. Until I learned from Liu Zhaodi's mouth that she came to repay the favor.
In the original book, it is written:
"Uncle Yan, you don't cough, you paid for my mother's treatment, and also entrusted the relationship to my mother transferred to the General Military Region Hospital, great grace and virtue I Liu Zhaodi did not dare to forget in this life, you said to your son that we are a family, I really dare not admit your affection, I am a country girl who came to your house as a little nanny, working to pay off debts, I dare not climb high, and I dare not let your son have a misunderstanding, I will marry in the future, this' The big hat of illegal cohabitation is buckled, and the young and capable offspring don't have to think about it too much, even if it is married to a man with a dead wife and a drag oil bottle, it seems that I have picked up a big bargain. ”
Looking at Liu Zhaodi, who was as aggressive as a machine gun in front of him, Yan Baoyue was like a little daughter-in-law, only stunned.
Since then, in Yan Baoyue's life, he has had a titular sister. (Liu Zhaodi is two years older than Yan Baoyue)
Liu Zhaodi is an extremely spicy person. In addition to being invincible in the verbal battle, sometimes he dares to take off his shoes and chase after men. The strength, fearlessness and pride of her own world are exactly what Yan Baoyue lacks.
This is also the reason why Yan Baoyue's father agreed with Liu Zhaodi's so-called retribution, and he hoped that this tough grass-like girl could help his son get out of the shadow of peanuts.
In the following time, the two were like "natural enemies", pinching each other when they met, and living with chickens and dogs jumping.
At that time, Yan Shaoyue hated Liu Zhaodi, who was extremely spicy, and his diary was full of bad words about Liu Zhaodi.
Not only because he had never won a war of words, but also because Liu Zhaodi took out a few peanuts from time to time and chewed them while mocking him as a "soft-footed shrimp" who could not support the mud on the wall.
However, although his mouth said that he hated it, he already regarded Liu Zhaodi as a relative in his heart.
Especially when the people who bullied him at the school wanted to threaten him with peanuts, Liu Zhaodi fell from the sky, beat people all over the ground with his shoes, and threatened that only he could bully him with peanuts.
Two years later, Liu Zhaodi left the Yan family and prepared to get married.
On the day of Liu Zhaodi's new marriage, Yan Baoyue took the congratulatory gift given by his father and set off at five o'clock in the morning. He wanted to see for himself what kind of family Liu Zhaodi had married into, and he wanted to be sure that she was happy.
Yan Baoyue walked for a full seven hours, and he finally arrived at the small mountain village that Liu Zhaodi wanted to join, a place that was inaccessible and isolated.
When he saw Liu Zhaodi's half-demented and half-dazed husband and his mother-in-law with a bad face on the side, Yan Baoyue was both distressed and angry.
He couldn't accept that Liu Zhaodi's so-called uncle, who spat out lotus flowers, told his father that he would definitely find a good family for Liu Zhaodi. But in fact, liu Zhaodi was married to such a family.
At that moment, he went crazy and wanted to take Liu Zhaodi, and he couldn't watch the life of his sister who had accompanied him for two years be ruined.
The foolish groom's mother, even the combination of scratching and biting and the sticks of the surrounding villagers, could not stop his determination to take Liu Zhaodi away. Until Liu Zhaodi's uncle appeared with a handful of peanuts and told him that this was the result of exchanging relatives for relatives, and that Liu Zhaodi owed him.
At that moment, Yan Baoyue, who had a miserable white face, collapsed to the ground.
Looking at Liu Zhaodi, who was sent into the cave, his whole body was in pain. However, in the face of one handful of peanuts smashed on his body, he was powerless to resist.
At the moment when the door of the new room closed, Yan Baoyue finally broke through the shadow of his heart, stepped on the peanuts scattered on the ground, and walked step by step to the room where Liu Zhaodi was located, and there was only one voice left in his head: I want to take her.
Exactly ten years.
The ghostly peanut finally no longer had any impact. The shadow left in his heart by his beloved little mother ten years ago broke free for his dear sister ten years later. As written in the original book:
"Ten years ago, the relatives he cared about most attacked him, forming a heart lock in his heart. Ten years later, the same relatives he cared about the most, let him break the lock of his heart when there was no way to retreat, there was no way to avoid it! ”
At that moment, Yan Baoyue completed the real transformation.
Years later, Yan Baoyue has become the captain of the "Shi Huang Special Warfare Squad", when he recalls the past he once got along with, recalls his "crazy feat", the corners of his mouth will still rise unconsciously, and there is a hint of childishness in that smile in addition to gentleness.
The most favorite woman, love but do not keep each other
Eighteen-year-old Yan Baoyue entered the military camp with ambition.
It was also here that he met his beloved woman, Ai Qianxue.
When I first met Ai Qianxue, she was a captain, and he was still a recruit egg. In the face of the operational staff of this information automation office, which is also recognized by the whole division as a military flower, Yan Baoyue did not think too much.
At that time, his biggest dream was to become stronger. He aspired to be a better soldier than his father.
However, the fate of fate cannot be hidden.
From the "obscene ridicule" repeated two hundred times, to the unusually dazzling figure on the training ground, to climbing the snowy mountain with bare hands, desperately saving the trapped family of the company commander, and the exercise that lasted for more than twenty days...
The figure of Yan Shaoyue had long been deeply engraved in Ai Qianxue's heart.
For the sake of Yan Breakyue, Ai Qianxue applied to join the special operations squad, and they truly became comrades-in-arms.
On a special mission, the lone wolf sacrificed to protect Ai Qianxue, and Yan Baoyue's special combat team paid a terrible price. Looking at Yan Baoyue, who was trying to turn the tide, Ai Qianxue suddenly realized that the big boy who had used armored vehicles and iron doors to grind quilts had long since transformed into a soldier who was so strong that the enemy was frightened.
And it was time for her to leave.
In the face of Yan Baoyue's question, she explained:
"I've always looked at you as a reference. No matter how strong you become, in my consciousness, you are the recruit who was punished by the instructor, standing in front of the office building, singing and talking to Xiao Yunjie. Since you can do it, then of course I Ai Qianxue are not in the question. Until a month ago, the entire 'Shi Huang Special Warfare Squad' faced the challenge of life and death, you fought hard and turned the tide, I just looked at it from a distance, and I felt frightened. Until that time, I knew that if the two of us fought for life and death, maybe you hadn't done it yet, and the murderous qi that was constantly accumulating in your body would make me lose the courage to confront me head-on. It turned out that I was just a well frog sitting in a well watching the sky and thinking that I was righteous. ”
The sacrifice of the lone wolf made Ai Qianxue understand that with his own strength, he should not continue to stay in the special combat squad at all. This time it was the lone wolf who saved her life in exchange for her life, so what about the next time?
She didn't want to admit that she wasn't enough to fight alongside Yan Baoyue, but she didn't want to see anyone die to protect her, and that person was probably the man she loved deeply.
So, even if she didn't give up, she had to leave.
It was also Ai Qianxue's true feelings that made Yan Baoyue realize that he had already liked the beautiful woman in front of him who had been "indispensable". The reason why he didn't realize his feelings before was because he focused all his attention on the pursuit of power.
As written in the original book:
"Love is too extravagant for him. Therefore, in the past two years, they have obviously admired each other, liked each other, and had a relationship with each other, but they have always stayed at the level of "comrades-in-arms" and "friends", and there is no further progress. ”
With a parting kiss, they made a commitment to each other.
If one day, he unloaded the burden on his shoulders, there would no longer be so much pressure and disguise. Then they must be like ordinary men and women, talk about a relationship.
She would have been waiting for that day.
Hell, earth, heaven
Throughout the original work, you will find that whether it is Pei Yanyan or Liu Zhaodi, or Ai Qianxue, they all play an extremely important role in the life of Yan Baoyue.
In Pei Yanyan's body, Yan Baoyue harvested maternal love as warm as spring. But it was also his stepmother, who was extremely close, and personally pushed him into hell, leaving him trapped in fear and shadow for ten years.
In Liu Zhaodi's body, Yan Baoyue understood that only when people are strong can they protect the people they want to protect, whether they are relatives or friends. It was this girl who used pungency and savage to cast a protective color in order to survive, so that he overcame the shadow of his childhood and returned to the human world.
In Ai Qianxue's body, Yan Baoyue experienced love as beautiful as heaven, and more regrettably swallowed the pain of loving but not being able to keep each other. But he did not regret it, and the responsibility and burden on his shoulders doomed him to temporarily fail the woman he loved. But he knew she would wait for him. And he will also strive to complete his dreams and missions, not to disappoint her, and not to fail her.
It is they who have achieved the tough and indomitable Yan Shaoyue today, and it is they who have given him enough courage and strength to chase the dream in his heart.
Heaven, hell, and earth will always alternate in our lives. No matter where we are, the direction of the heart is what really determines where we are.
Qingxin Junyue, an emotional observer, ta said book critic, film critic. Warm you, me with words.