Jiang Xiaobin, a reporter of China Youth Daily and China Youth Network
"Ning Er, Dad couldn't have imagined that from August 3, 2008, he would never see you again." This is the first sentence of the beginning of writer Zhou Daxin's novel "Requiem", and it is also the darkest experience of his life.
This spring, the film of the same name adapted from the novel", "Requiem", was released, and the father on the screen lost his only son under the age of 30 and could only find emotional sustenance in a "liar" who looked exactly like his son. Although 14 years have passed, when the film premiered, Zhou Daxin, who was sitting on the stage, still could not go on stage to give a speech, and the prepared speech could only be read by someone.
From the second year of the child's departure, Zhou Daxin wrote very slowly, sometimes only a few hundred words a day, after writing, it felt better; but he did not want to mention, mention, everything came back to the brain. "When it's hard, I never say it, only through writing, fortunately I have this way." 」 Zhou Daxin said.
"Requiem" is a dialogue novel, the father and the dead son "dialogue", the father poured out his guilt, the son on the other side of the river in the realm of life and death told his own observations, but also constantly comforted the father. Being able to talk to deceased relatives is probably a beautiful fantasy of many people, and even some science fiction works do not expect people to come back to life, but imagine communication across life and death.
Chinese is very interesting about the concept of life and death, commemorating the Qingming Festival of the deceased, which is set in the mid-spring season when all things grow. The Qingming Festival is not only a solemn festival of sweeping tombs and worshiping ancestors, but also a happy festival of walking in green and playing. Life, born to death.
The festival of commemorating the deceased, but the festival can only be the living, qingming festival in the folk, there have always been a variety of ceremonies. In the countryside of Zhou Daxin's hometown, the Nanyang Basin of Henan Province, during the Qing And Ming Dynasty, families should go to the grave, cultivate new soil for the graves of the deceased, cover the top of the graves with a bowl-shaped piece of soil, place offerings in front of the graves, burn incense and prostrate their heads in front of the graves of the elders, set off firecrackers, burn paper money and spring and summer clothes cut out of paper, and some plant saplings...
"These fixed rituals, of course, are to remember the deceased, but more importantly, to remind future generations, remember your way, remember the predecessors who gave you life, and don't forget them." Zhou Daxin felt that these solemn ceremonies were necessary, "It is to unite the family, the clan and the villagers with blood and kinship; to remind people to be grateful to the predecessors, to give everyone an opportunity to remember and remember the benefits of the deceased, which is conducive to the harmony of people's lives in the countryside and the continuation of the family spirit." ”
Zhou Daxin
Zhou Daxin's attitude towards life is very different at all stages of life. When I was a teenager, I thought that the length of my life was infinite, I just wanted to grow up quickly, I only thought that time passed slowly, and I wish that my birthday could be connected; when I was young, I knew that my life was limited, but I always felt that there was still a long way to go to the end of life, and I could squander time at will, "I don't know how to cherish life at all, I think my body can toss and turn."
When people reach middle age, Zhou Daxin vaguely realized that life has passed halfway through, but because there are old and young, they are busy developing their careers and earning money to support their families all day, and they have no time to think about how to protect their bodies and prolong their lives; when old age comes, he suddenly finds that the end of life is not far away, many chronic diseases have been entangled in the body, he is a little panicked, he knows how to cherish the body, and he has the urgent hope of prolonging life.
The end of life is death, and the prelude to death is aging. Zhou Daxin published a long novel 4 years ago, "The Sky Is Dark Slowly", 200,000 words, talking about aging. "Getting older isn't a tragic thing, it's like it's getting dark slowly in the summer." Zhou Daxin wrote. Every life, since birth, is slowly approaching aging and death. In this process, all the activities and emotions of man, all the civilizations and memories preserved, are confronted.
Zhou Daxin, 70 years old this year, does not shy away from his fear of death, he describes aging, describes death, and gently confronts. When he understood that no matter how much fear he was, he could not avoid death, his heart calmed down, and he even calmly prepared for death, "I want to do it as soon as possible, and then wait for it to take me away."
For example, he wants to donate his own collection of books, build a small library in his hometown, and let the young people in his hometown have a new place to read — this thing has been basically done; for example, he wants to build a small "love memorial" in a beautiful place, showing the world's most touching and loving events in the form of photos and pictures - this idea has not yet been started, I don't know if it can be done in the end.
Last year, Zhou Daxin published "Los Angeles Flowers" and announced that it was his novel, because of physical reasons, he no longer wrote long stories, but his love for words remained.
He has a plan for a life that cannot be written at length: writing essays and essays, and may also regain the movie script that he liked when he was young, if he can't even write an article, he will write calligraphy and paint; for the aging life, he is also prepared: mentally know what he will face, financially guarantee medical health, materially "buy crutches, and install a handrail against falls in the bathroom at home."
Young people may be far from death, but Zhou Daxin feels that he still has to be prepared for the unexpected:
First, we must have a sense of crisis, do not think that dangerous things will never find themselves, be vigilant against accidents and other unexpected disasters, and understand and learn to protect their lives. "When driving, you must wear a seat belt; use electricity, you must prevent leakage; climbing, be prepared; diving, have friends to watch over; home gas switch, to check frequently; ride an electric car out, can not speed ..."
Second, exercise, cherish the body, and don't think that terrible diseases will not go up to the body. "Drinking, it is appropriate to come; staying up late, occasionally; eating, not overeating; playing games, don't affect rest; working, there is work and leisure; playing, not moving your hands; not sulking, learning to find happiness; learning to control anger, not to let resentment hurt the body..."
Zhou Daxin "nagged" these precautions like an old father, as if sitting in front of his own children.
Zhou Daxin remembers that after watching the film for the first time with Weizi, the star of the movie "Requiem", the two people hugged their heads and cried. After the premiere, he didn't dare to go to the cinema again. After the vernal equinox, the days get longer and darker.
"Our parents brought us into this world, showed us the beauty of the world, and also let us deal with troubles, tiredness, and pain, which is ultimately a good thing, and we should be grateful to them." The best reward for them is to be kind to their lives, to walk the whole life as well as possible, and to leave a beautiful mark on the world. Zhou Daxin said.
Source: China Youth Daily client