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Little love letters
What moment made you decide to break up and leave someone?
It is because of the gap in academic qualifications or the difference in the three views, or because it cannot stand the poor life, for Zhang Zhihua, it is only because he does not love.
When Zhang Zhihua and Guo Kaimin were together, the two lived apart for a long time and suffered from longing for thoughts, and even when she gave birth, she was alone in childbirth.
Once gave up her career for the family, took care of the children and lived a meticulous life, it can be said that the marriage with Guo Kaimin brought her all the suffering.
But she is not afraid of hardship, afraid of losing her little dignity in this loveless marriage.
After years of separation, Guo Kaimin mentioned that the end of this marriage was due to career differences, but the sudden departure that Guo Kaimin thought was actually Zhang Zhihua's long-endured farewell.
Career differences are only the last straw that crushes the camel
"I can suffer, but I will not allow my dignity to be trampled upon."
Those who have saved enough disappointment will surely let go, love is accumulated, and neither is love.
01
In 1976, the day when the Shanghai Film Studio admitted new members to report, Zhang Zhihua, as a student who had just been admitted, also came to the Shanghai Film Studio to report.
After coming, Zhang Zhihua studied the lines with Teacher Zhang Ruifang, who had two other students in addition to Zhang Zhihua, that is, Guo Kaimin and Zhang Yu.
Because they were the same door, Zhang Zhihua also got to know Guo Kaimin and Zhang Yu, and the three of them often worked and studied together.
At that time, the three of them were paid only 17 yuan 8 per month, and there was very little left except for daily expenses.
Fortunately, Teacher Zhang Ruifang is very concerned about these three students, and can even be said to care for them as his own children, and after each salary, he will spend money to buy ribs and pig trotters and the like to call the three of them to eat.
They were not polite, and each took their own bowl and ate a large bowl of ribs, and in this meal of sitting together, the three of them established a deep friendship.
As everyone knows, the gears of fate turn, and the fates of the three people have long been developing in different directions.
As the saying goes, there is no pure friendship between men and women, and this sentence is especially appropriate in the feelings between the three of them.
In 1979, Guo Kaimin and Zhang Yu got the opportunity to shoot "Lushan Love", which is particularly special in that it has a kiss scene that is as short as 0.01 seconds.
Perhaps the kiss scene is not strange in the current film and television drama, but at that time, zhang yu and Guo Kaimin's kiss was the first kiss on the Chinese screen, so this scene was a huge challenge for the director.
The same is true for Guo Kaimin and Zhang Yu.
According to the two later recalled, at that time, the two people had never been in love, and in order to shoot this work, the director often deliberately gave them the opportunity to be alone.
When filming the kiss scene, a lot of "clearing" treatment was also done.
During the filming of this play, the relationship between Guo Kaimin and Zhang Yu developed by leaps and bounds, and Guo Kaimin often took the initiative to bring food to Zhang Yu and call hot water.
But the protagonist Zhang Yu can't understand this kind of overtures, only that he will see Guo Kaimin always smoking very sadly, and he doesn't know that Guo Kaimin's sorrow is because of himself.
In the end, Guo Kaimin and Zhang Yu missed out on Lang You's concubine unintentionally, but this shooting was not without gains.
After the broadcast of "Lushan Love", both of them became famous because of the first kiss on the screen and became household actors.
Zhang Zhihua later cooperated with Guo Kaimin in "Good Things and Many Mills", and since then they have slowly come together and become lovers.
It was just that at that time, the gap between the two was really huge, zhang Zhihua's starting line was indeed higher than Guo Kaimin, and he was influenced by family art from an early age, received a good education and so on.
Unfortunately, several works shot by Zhang Zhihua later were unremarkable, and Guo Kaimin became a popular actor with a "Lushan Love".
At that time, when Zhang Zhihua and Guo Kaimin were shopping together holding hands, it was obvious that two people were walking side by side, but passers-by only saw Guo Kaimin, which invisibly made Zhang Zhihua have a sense of inferiority and a sense of inferiority.
Later, Zhang Zhihua simply reduced the days of going out with Guo Kaimin, but avoidance was not the solution to the problem.
And the twists and turns of the two people's acquaintance and love may also hint at the unsatisfactory ending of the two.
02
A momentary sense of disparity and inferiority did not affect the two people who were overwhelmed by love at that time, and in front of the lovers who thought that their love was stronger than Jinjian, everything seemed to be solvable.
With such a belief, Zhang Zhihua and Guo Kaimin entered the palace of marriage together.
After marriage, perhaps in order to narrow the distance between the two, or feel that they should have their own career, Zhang Zhihua did not choose to be a housewife like most married women in that era, but had her own career plan.
In the following three years, Zhang Zhihua filmed works such as "When a Woman Gets Married" and "Children Love Long", and his career is steadily rising.
But because Guo Kaimin is also busy working in filming, the two people have been separated for a long time, and can only occasionally meet in between filming.
The feelings of the husband and wife were unconsciously diluted by the distance, but at this time, Zhang Zhihua found that she was pregnant, and after thinking about it repeatedly, she decided to put down the work in her hand and concentrate on giving birth to a child.
So at that time, Guo Kaimin was working outside the filming to support his family, and Zhang Zhihua was living alone at home, which seemed to be no problem with the collocation and cooperation, which was actually contradictory.
Zhang Zhihua lived alone with a big belly at that time, and endured various adverse reactions during pregnancy alone.
Perhaps only pregnant mothers know how difficult it is for pregnant women to live alone, and how sad it is to stand up when they are heavy, but guo Kaimin does not know all this.
But Zhang Zhihua did not complain about Guo Kaimin, but later when someone asked her about her mood as a new mother, Zhang Zhihua seemed to recall that sad time, and said with tears in her eyes:
"That was the happiest and most painful time."
Not only that, but later the child was born, Zhang Zhihua also made concessions, and in those years, he hardly took over the work, concentrated on taking care of the children, and guo Kaimin praised guo Kaimin after the divorce:
"Zhang Zhihua is a very diligent and thrifty family, a person who is very good at living a life, and a good wife."
But Zhang Zhihua did not expect this in any way to become the fuse for the rupture of the couple's relationship.
Guo Kaimin filmed outside for a few years and felt that he could be a director, so he was young and energetic and Zhang Zhihua said that he was going to start a business and become a director.
At that time, the child was three years old, and he had no job, and the family's life counted on Guo Kaimin's income from filming outside.
At this time, Guo Kaimin said that he wanted to be a director, which was indeed a very risky approach for their family's living conditions at that time, so Zhang Zhihua resolutely opposed Guo Kaimin's idea.
But Guo Kaimin could not listen to the advice, and even felt that the pace of the two people was already inconsistent, the understanding was not at the same level, he felt that the people in front of him were not understanding at all, and even he thought that Zhang Zhihua had become a city servant, and there was only money in his eyes.
However, what Guo Kaimin did not know was that at this time, Zhang Zhihua's heart was already full of holes, and this disagreement and quarrel was undoubtedly the last straw that crushed the camel:
"I don't think I'm in love anymore, there's no need to be together anymore."
Later, it was Zhang Zhihua who took the initiative to propose divorce, and Guo Kaimin went to Hainan to find a new direction in life after the divorce.
Zhang Zhihua chose to stay in Beijing with his son to start a new life.
But a middle-aged woman who has not worked for a long time with a child in her three-year-olds is not easy to start over.
03
Those days were indeed difficult, and Zhang Zhihua could only go out every day to sing and perform to make money in order to live with his children.
From Peking Opera to folk songs, even Chinese New Year's Eve still "walking the cave" outside to work, and most of the money collected is five or ten yuan.
Zhang Zhihua was full of income from a school bag, and carefully counted only more than three thousand yuan, which was far from enough for the lives of their mothers and mothers.
Fortunately, Zhang Zhihua's father was very good to them, and the old man was distressed by them, and when he saw the hard life of the two of them, he shed tears and couldn't bear it, and he could help to help them more or less.
In addition, some of Zhang Zhihua's friends at that time also knew that it was not easy for her to live with children, so they introduced her to the dubbing work, although it was hard, but the income was relatively considerable and worthwhile.
During that time, Zhang Zhihua was not only physically miserable because of overwork, but also the psychological damage was immeasurable.
In fact, at first she was reluctant to divorce, because she still loved it, or because she was unwilling to marry for six years, how could she say that she would break it, and if she didn't love, she wouldn't love.
Later, during the New Year, Zhang Zhihua went to visit her former mentor, Teacher Zhang Ruifang.
Teacher Zhang Ruifang looked at the increasingly haggard Zhang Zhihua and couldn't bear it, told her about her experience of divorce, said her feelings, and comforted her:
"I know you, but the hard days will always pass."
This sentence speaks to Zhang Zhihua's heart, yes, she can suffer hardships, but she cannot be bitterly entangled in a marriage without love, giving up her dignity to retain, seven points of love, three points of love for herself is her bottom line.
At that time, Zhang Zhihua was thinking:
"I can't be so unlucky all the time, and the bad luck days should come to an end."
With such optimism and expectations, she insisted on overcoming every difficulty faced in life and ushered in her own luck.
Sometimes life is so wonderful, fate is so fond of teasing people, but never to the people who work hard and kindly.
Zhang Zhihua finally found the person who spent the rest of her life with her after going around with her- Zha Guojun.
Zha Guojun is a professional painter, one of China's most accomplished painters, who has taught at the Academy of Fine Arts of Shanghai University, and has also served as a visiting professor at the School of Arts of the University of Winnippot and the Shanghai Theater Academy in Canada.
There are countless versions of the process of acquaintance between two people, but the most important stage of getting along with each other is often not acquaintance, but the process of getting along.
In fact, Zha Guojun also had his own marriage before, and also had two children studying in foreign countries, so he did not mind zhang zhihua's taking a child, and even got along well with Zhang Zhihua's son Guo Cheng.
Guo Cheng likes to draw, so every time Zha Guojun comes to the door, Guo Cheng will pestering Zha Guojun to draw a villain or a flower for him.
When Zha Guojun left, Guo Cheng would reluctantly ask Zha Guojun when he would come next, so every meeting was not so much a date between Zha Guojun and Zhang Zhihua as a date between Guo Cheng and Zha Guojun.
Later, slowly the two people came together, hand in hand into the palace of marriage, opened a new chapter in life, two people have a new understanding of marriage, but there will still be inappropriate and contradictory.
Zhang Zhihua is a fast-witted child, has a strong sense of time, and hates others for being late and not punctual.
But Cha Guojun is a chronic child, habitual procrastination and punctuality, every time the two people want to go to play and the like, often from the front of the door to start arguing.
But this time, neither of them chose to escape, but constantly changed for each other, constantly accommodating each other's differences, so at home it was often Cha Guojun who painted quietly in the room.
Zhang Zhihua is busy with his own affairs outside, and sometimes when he goes out, he will adjust his emotions in time, travel happily or go out to run errands.
In 2010, "The Temptation to Go Home" was popular all over the country, and Zhang Zhihua starred in lin pins who were willing to pay everything for their children.
Since then, he has slowly become a professional mother through his own efforts, and also starred in Gu Qingyu's great aunt Su Wangdi in the recently popular TV series "Heart Residence".
Although there are not many scenes, Zhang Zhihua uses superb acting skills to play the image of an old woman in Shanghai.
She herself is a Shanghainese and is very good at acting, but all this is actually inseparable from her life.
When not filming, compared with other peers who like to sit at home and wait for their aunts to buy vegetables, Zhang Zhihua prefers to buy vegetables by herself.
Walking in the market to choose the dishes that the family wants to eat today, talking to people, watching TV and knitting sweaters at home after buying vegetables, is no different from ordinary Shanghai women.
Such fireworks in Shanghai make each of Zhang Zhihua's roles close to reality and leave a deep impression on us.
So as a woman, it's not too late to start over, as long as you have the courage to give up the past.
Later, Zhang Zhihua called the painful moment when he had signed the divorce agreement as a rebirth, although there were tears in his eyes, but it was a relief that survived all difficulties and obstacles.
In marriage, the moment of pain is easy to let go, and it is rare to be reborn.
Marriage is indeed very important for women, good marriage will make you like a tiger, bad marriage will make you break your wings, but marriage is not all a woman.
Only in time to stop the loss and break away, can we draw salaries from the bottom of the pot and change our bones, I hope that in the future, we will face a marriage without feelings, and we can also have the courage of Zhang Zhihua to start over.