Lines 丨Cross-over comedy king "Me and You"

The following [full version of the lines] is compiled from Beijing Satellite TV's "King of Cross-border Comedy"

——Wang 20170930, a crossover comedy

Actor: Si Ni Wang Bowen Gao Fei Zhang Xin

Female 1 (fat): My boyfriend is handsome.

Ponytail Woman: My boyfriend is white.

Si Ni: My boyfriend is handsome, say goodbye to me.

Ponytail Woman: Your boyfriend is so rich, he bought twelve BEIQI Weiwang M60s later, he is so rich, twelve can be used as trains, you are not sad to break up with him?

Si Ni: What's the use of having so much money, I don't feel it.

Female 1 (fat): Your boyfriend works so well and breaks up, how come you are not sad at all?

Si Ni: What's the use of working well, I don't feel it.

Ponytail Woman: What do you really want to feel?

Si ni: My feelings tell me that I have feelings for him thief. But my feelings also told me that he might have feelings for my thief, maybe he didn't feel for my thief. But feeling is feeling, can you understand how I feel?

Female 1 (fat), ponytail female: No.

Si ni: I mean, it doesn't matter if he feels for me or not, what matters is that I have feelings for him.

Ponytail Woman: Isn't that a?

Si ni: Yes, love at first sight. In the future, my boyfriend must be handsome, white, and very man. (Wang Bowen came in) handsome, white.

Wang Bowen: (Take out a gun) Looting.

Si ni: Good Man! That's him.

Wang Bowen: This is a gun, not a vase.

Sirene: I know.

Wang Bowen: You know? Are you trying to fight gangsters?

Si ni: Not a fight, (smirk) it's a flirt.

Ponytail Woman: Little sip, little sip, he has a gun in his hand, you crouch down, crouch down.

Si ni: You shut me up. What does it have to do with you? Why listen to you.

Wang Bowen: Crouch.

Si ni: (Hey) I'm squatting.

Wang Bowen: Are you trying to kill me? I said sister, you just played this play with me, you should belong to the snake, right?

Si ni: Yeah, little brother. How do you know? So what do you belong to?

Wang Bowen: Rats.

Si Ni: Exactly, a nest of snakes and rats. We're pretty compatible.

Wang Bowen: It's all about what it is.

Si ni: You and I, I told you that no matter what you belong to, we are very compatible.

Wang Bowen: Is it? I hate bragging about it the most. What if I'm a dragon?

Si Ni: Snake with dragon day red.

Wang Bowen: I belong to the dog.

Si ni: Snake with dog, hand in hand.

Wang Bowen: I belong to the monkey.

Si Ni: Snake with monkey, running head.

Wang Bowen: I belong.

Si ni: It doesn't matter what you belong to, what matters is that you belong to me.

Wang Bowen: I said sister, can you respect my profession and wait for me to touch me later?

Si ni: Okay. Then you have to promise me a condition first.

Wang Bowen: Say!

Si ni: Let me be your man.

Wang Bowen: What?

Si ni: Quality.

Wang Bowen: No, you have all confused me, are you originally my hostages? Get down!

Si ni: Us? Both? Who? I tell you that he can only have one hostage, and you are all my enemies now.

Female 1 (fat): What does it have to do with us?

Si ni: Of course there is a relationship, you squat for me.

Ponytail Girl: Are you a flower idiot?

Female 1 (Fat): Are you stupid?

(Wang Bowen shot).

(Ponytail Girl: Oh, my mom.) ）

Si ni: My boyfriend called me.

Wang Bowen: I tell you, don't talk nonsense with me, hand over the key to the vault. (Gun loaded) you! Ponytail Woman: I didn't.

Wang Bowen: You!

Female 1 (fat): No.

(Wang Bowen took a gun and pointed a small sip)

Si ni: I have.

Wang Bowen: What is this thing?

Si Ni: The key is a thread, cherish this relationship. Give you a big back crotch.

Wang Bowen: It's very strong. (Alarm goes off) What's the situation.

Ponytail Woman: The police are coming, (outside the door) you can't run.

Wang Bowen: Who called the police?

Ponytail Woman: Not me.

Female 1 (Fat): Not me.

Si ni: It's me.

Wang Bowen: (with a gun against the small sip) not afraid of death?

Si ni: Afraid.

Wang Bowen: I'm afraid you're still.

Si Ni: (Hugging Wang Bowen) But if I don't call the police, what is the point of my hostage to you?

Wang Bowen: I was speechless.

Si Ni: I really didn't expect that I had just lost love for a month and met the person of fate, so happy.

Wang Bowen: I really didn't expect that I had just come out a month ago and met the people who were kind to me. Sister, to tell you from the heart, it is not easy to be a robber, since the moment I saw you, my heart has been greatly shaded, and I now want to turn myself in.

Si ni: Really?

(Bowen Wang: Hmm)

Si ni: Okay, then I'll wait for you.

Policeman (voice-over): Gangster listen, gangster listen, you've been surrounded by our police, please lay down your arms, put down. (Wang Bowen threw away and grabbed) Thank you for your cooperation. Your performance is very good, please let go of the hostage, (Wang Bowen wants to push away the small sip) please let go of the hostage, please let go of the hostage.

Wang Bowen: You discuss with him and let her let me go.

Policeman (voice-over): Oh my God, do you dare to talk to the police, the sniper is ready, give me the Tianling lid aimed at him.

Wang Bowen: Wait a minute. I tell you, hurry up, or I'll kill you."

Si ni: Come on, hurt each other. I live as your hostage, and die as your dead hostage.

Wang Bowen: Uncle Policeman, help.

News report (voice-over): Just got the news that the bank robbery in the center of Peter Town was broken, and the bank employee Miss Si Ni gave up her life to play the role of a flower obsessive and witty gangster, causing the robber to be insane and actively lock himself and the police dog together, and has now been sent to the hospital for treatment. The next message.

(End)