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Tell you something funny.
A few years ago, a client had a second child doing postpartum rehabilitation at my place.
Her eldest daughter is 17 years old.
This customer we call her Gao Jie, is an executive, a strong woman who is fierce.
When we met, her eldest daughter was in a rebellious period and did not study well, and I also helped her to support some tricks.
She said that the thieves who bought my class were able to draw a line, and the postpartum rehabilitation was also done, and the parenting was also learned.
After a few years, the second daughter is in kindergarten, and when the eldest daughter falls in love early, she can come to discuss with me again.
Because the eldest daughter's rebellious period has passed smoothly, the results have been good, and the two of them did not stuff their daughters into the international school, saying that the normal college entrance examination, the daughter is also a 985 bottom.
Her husband has always been more entangled in the point that she does not want her daughter to be targeted by the smelly boy who is not right at home, especially not as good as their family, so the ear is not allowed to talk about the object too early, not to mention that if you take the domestic college entrance examination, this is also a more critical period.
But if you want a child who has rebelled since the age of thirteen or fourteen, the possibility of rebellion at the age of seventeen or eighteen also exists.
So it is the two people who just need to be persuaded to retreat.
And the more you say that, the daughter may be screwing with you. The more you don't let her find someone with a much worse condition at home, the more she doesn't listen.
I said Sister Gao, didn't we say it when we were chatting a few years ago? Don't give your child too much admonition from your point of view, but give her reasoning and let her choose for herself.
When she chooses to deviate, do not deny it in time, but tell her what kind of consequences this choice may lead to, and let her weigh up the consequences herself.
Let's not be black and white, if we want to persuade the child, we should persuade her as an adult, rather than coercing and seducing.
Do you think that you and your brother-in-law are both cultured, cultured, and socially important people, and do we usually talk to our subordinates at least on an equal level and leave a decent share of each other?
If you want to stir up the relationship between two people, is it that the other party has a handle in your hands, so that you can do this operation?
Then if the other party only understands the level of him is that the other party is delaying the baby's study at the juncture, the family situation is not optimistic, the information is too little, you at least have to know why your girlfriend looks at him? What is the pattern of getting along between them? Do you mind the question why doesn't your girlfriend mind?
I usually advise this question to think about this idea, you can refer to the translation into your version.
Sister Gao said: "Hey, when you say that I have the second pulse of the Governor, I will synchronize this problem with the one in my family."
In a few days, Sister Gao came to tell me that it was done.
This time it is indeed the child's father is too simple and rude, and the woman's happiness still has to be persuaded by the woman.
I'm busy asking how to get it done?
Sister Gao said:
A very simple question, this little boy wants to make AA with my daughter, and also shouts about equality between men and women.
My daughter and her little sister are mostly AA, and it's normal for the girl to be between the girl and the girl, so she easily accepted the problem, and I got off here.
I was right to say that men and women were equal, but he should go and talk to the female classmates in your class and the female colleagues in his company in the future.
Because in learning, your relationship in the workplace is a competitive relationship.
In the case of competitive relations, of course, there is an equal relationship between men and women. No one is more brainless than anyone else.
Everyone is 24 hours a day, all listen to the same lessons, take the same exams, and are equal to men and women.
Competition is fair, of course, just like my mom never thought that someone in the workplace would give me the green light because I was a woman.
Even, in this world more cruel:
If a woman wants to climb high, she must compete with men on an equal footing.
The world speaks by strength, the company does not do charity, how much power you contribute in the company, how much value and irreplaceability you can stand in such a position. Mom is a woman who is useful to society, and Mom is equal with other male employees.
Other male colleagues do not owe their mothers, so their mothers will not spoil them and ask them for special care.
Judging from the test results in your school, are boys and girls with similar grades?
The best batch, the median batch, the bottom batch, is not the difference not big?
Educational fairness is fairness in everyone learning the same thing and testing the same thing.
But you know what?
There are far fewer female employees than male employees at the same level as moms.
Even when they were in school, their grades were similar.
Guess why women are perceived by their bosses as creating less value than men after they are in the workplace? So you don't get more promotion opportunities?
OK, women have menstrual periods.
Then you also have a menstrual period when you are studying now, and you are not worse than boys in the test.
Women's association growth?
Yes, women who can stick to the job like your mom until the amniotic fluid is broken is not the norm.
It's not that they don't want to, it's that their bodies don't necessarily support them to fight until this moment.
Not only that, but women also take on the responsibility of breastfeeding. There will also be maternity leave, which is a real disadvantage for the employer.
People only have 24 hours, and giving time to families gives less time to the company.
You take a leave of absence, but the company has to run, and the work you can't do always has to be toptended.
So if you think about the fact that your mother has two children and is still able to climb to this position, without making the company think that the mother is useless, what factors are at play?
First, the mother is more desperate and capable, enduring the hardships of pregnancy and struggling in the front line.
Second, Dad didn't force Mom to be with you at all times. When you were young, you were all brought up by the nanny and your grandmother.
So are women who are also struggling on the front line, pregnant with big bellies equal to men with light bodies?
Breasts grow on women, breastfeeding is a woman's vocation, and after the birth of a child, the family and society will stare at women's breasts, not men's breasts. Are the roles and responsibilities of men and women equal in the family?
If women want their own children in the future, they themselves have to bear the unequal pregnancy and childbirth.
This is a different responsibility than men that women cannot escape before the artificial womb is put into use, no matter how much society progresses.
We both love you and your sister, so we don't consider this responsibility a burden.
But your dad is a man who stands tall, and he understands very clearly that there is no equality between men and women in this area, and I have taken on many more responsibilities than he has, so he will make up for other social responsibilities and family responsibilities.
In the past, when men and women were not equal, women had no way to shine in the workplace, and they had to rely on a man to survive.
Men need to support their families.
Women give birth to children and do housework, men provide for their families.
Now women can shine in the workplace, but women still have to have children, and we also hope that you have the ability to bear your own expenses and assume part of the responsibility of supporting your family.
But what does the boyfriend you're looking for say?
He didn't take on more family responsibilities because you could raise a family with him in the future.
On the contrary, you work more, he is happy and idle, but he does not support the family.
Compared with the women of the past, you have to have children, and you still earn money. Shouldn't it be better off than women in the past?
Do the math for yourself, and you're not going to have a better life than the women of the past.
He's not impressed with you and rationalizes his miserliness.
After you study hard, like your mother, you will work hard in the workplace with a big belly in the future, in order to fight for his right to be stingy enough not to give you a dime?
Will your future career difficulties be made easier by AA with him?
Mom's difficulties in the workplace became easier because your dad was constantly helping me share the family's internal affairs behind the scenes.
Men like your dad know very well: in love and marriage, men and women are not equal.
Women are supposed to be as smart as men, but because they have children, the value that may be created will be discounted, and this discount may affect all women.
All he needs to do is desperately try to keep my social value from being compromised. Don't be discriminated against in the workplace because you are a woman.
This is the man, and this is what he strives for equality between men and women.
At the level of giving, he is giving, not reducing the amount of time and energy he should have given.
So my mother believes that a person who really thinks that men and women are equal will never only reduce their expenditure at the level of their own payment, but will really make corresponding efforts for gender equality, at least to protect their women in workplace discrimination.
The AA case is the result of equality between men and women, but it does not promote women not to be discriminated against in the workplace.
This concludes the paraphrase.
I think Gao Jie's thinking is super awesome.
In particular, the object of equality between men and women should be female classmates and female colleagues.
Their little rebels ran to the chicken thief's little boyfriend: I can aa with you, but I want to know what efforts you want to make for equality between men and women? If I am discriminated against in the workplace in the future, what will you do for me?
Of course, the chicken thief's little boyfriend couldn't say one, two, three or four, and finally he was embarrassed and angry: You have a child to warn you of this female fist.
The little girl dropped her head in an instant.
Angrily, she asked her father to take her to the banana boat that she liked to eat most as a child.
Sister Gao asked me to write it out, saying that this one should be very suitable for parents to read.
I also reviewed the essence of my previous conversation with my daughter.
In fact, when the child is older, take her seriously as a colleague and subordinate to break it, and reasoning may be 100 times better than direct preaching.
I have been in the limelight for so long, and it is indeed a bit unreasonable to reason with my children and actually use the paternalistic authority method. It is completely unattractive to the wisdom that an adult should have.
Now the explosion of children's information is actually precocious.
Sister Gao said that if the girl recovered from the blow of the blindness of her first love and wanted to fight again, she would send her daughter to me to make up for the love class, and the sooner this matter was avoided, the better.
Okay, forward it, and show it to someone you think you care about.
Some time ago I took a closer look at my male fan ratio and composition.
It was found that a considerable number of male fans have a girlfriend's grandfather.
My experience is that the father himself is reliable and knows how to educate, and the family has a good relationship with the daughter, and the girl's choice of mate will not be crooked.
Parents with girls, we must protect our own little cute ah!