Novella: Drawing a Circle

Draw a circle

Sun Sun felt that his life was always drawing a circle. Although he has been struggling, not letting people live a mediocre life, to live a wonderful, full of hope, walk straight, smooth, all the way to the front of the dream, but it seems that he can't get rid of the fate of drawing circles.

Sun Sun felt that his life, before walking out of the campus, seemed to be moving forward according to a straight, stretched out road. Carefree and innocent as a child. Childhood, growing up dreams. On the way to school, knowing the wider world, dreams and visions for that vast place made Sun Sun feel endless hope and full of imagination for the future.

Sun Sun is like this, on this straight road, all the way forward, although he has also encountered small setbacks, bumps, but there is the protection of adults, support, after getting up, and with dreams, all the way forward, to the place where the dream is in front, I feel that there is an endless scenery in front of the road. His life, his life, his ideals are far away.

The years of childhood passed in a flash. The years of childhood, also in the dream of growing up, hurriedly lost. On the way to study, with dreams, all the way forward, but also in anxiety and hurry, hurried away.

From the school into the society, Sun Sun's feet began to fall from the height of dreams, little by little, to the ground, all dreams, to face reality. The hurried, distant footsteps, also because of real life, dense roads, and the curves, bumps, and mud of the roads, made him have to put down his steps.

After graduating from school, Sun Sun had a job, although he had a dream, worked hard in school, studied well, and performed prominently, but because his family was in the village, the average family, and his parents were ordinary farmers, he had to return to the remote village in the countryside to work.

Despite this, Sun Sun did not get discouraged, listened to the words of his father and teacher, and felt that every job was the same, where the loess soil raised people, exercised people, sooner or later gold will shine, in the worse the conditions, the more exercise people. Sun Sun went to work in that remote village, and his heart was very excited, excited, just like when he was in school, full of hope for the future, and felt that in the future, as long as he worked hard and made achievements, he would definitely be reused, and he would have a beautiful future and a great future.

That place, the most remote part of the county, was not accessible by road, only a potholed dirt road, connected to the world outside the mountain, and generally there were no cars, only three-wheeled diesel bungee bungee bungee trucks for small business, and trucks that stole wood. It is usually silent, and the road is empty with white light. Correspondence with the outside is the only rocker telephone in the township, generally by writing letters, the postman comes once a week, the correspondence remains unchanged, and the outdated news is seen.

Although there is a small power station in the township, during the dry period, either the electricity cannot be generated, or the electricity emitted is like a red star. In the period of abundant water, in order to send out bright and dangling electricity, in the township and unit, there is a small color TV, you can see the news of the vast world outside the mountain, let people know that they are still alive in this world. People in the village came to see it, and the township was as lively as the New Year.

The potholed and narrow dirt road only leads to the township. The unit where Sun Sun works is in the township. A few units away, at the foot of the hill, there are few people's homes, all of which are black tile houses with earthen walls, forming a small village. The village is surrounded by fields, and the fields are bumpy and bumpy, and as long as the people in the village do not rain or snow, they grope in the fields every day. The village is dead silent, the sun is white and flowery, and the chickens are long and short.

The mountains hug the village, standing quietly under the sky, an immutable silence like the sky.

Only from the side of the field, the flowing river is so clear and lively.

The village is isolated from the rest of the world and is generally isolated and dead. The work in the unit is also so monotonous, mechanical, every day is to get up, work, eat, lasa, sleep. It seems to be a mechanical component, no longer like when I was in school, walking straight, always moving forward, but like a snail, always drawing irregular circles in the same place, day after day, month after month repeating the same work and life.

What makes Sun Sun even more unbearable is that the colleagues in the unit are all old, the youngest have families, children, and talk to them together, there are no ideals, dreams, only worldliness, vulgarity. It is chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea, is money and power.

Soon, Sun Sun was no longer touched by novelty in this village, this unit, but in the silence, and the work and life as plain as stagnant water, began to feel depressed and desperate.

The excitement that had just come, the excitement was gone. Even dreams are shattered little by little in the heart.

At this time, the leaders of the unit also seemed to regard Sun Sun as a typical example, and when they encountered something, they criticized Sun Sun, and when they met, they also criticized Sun Sun. No matter how seriously Sun Sun worked, how diligent and hard he worked.

Seeing this, let Sun Sun as long as moved disappointed, desperate. When I first came, I wanted to be reused through hard work, hard work, and the dream of having a good future and a future, but I was shattered little by little.

In Sun Sun's brain, he couldn't stand the life of drawing circles like this, like a snail in place, stagnant. He wants to follow the straight path like on the road to school, to find dreams and a life full of hope.

Sun Sun began to struggle, and it happened that there was a classmate's father, in front of the power, he entrusted the classmate's father, saying that he wanted to transfer his job back to his hometown. The classmate's father did not shirk, pondered for a while, and agreed with a smile.

In Sun Sun's heart, he began to dream, dreaming of work and life after returning to his hometown.

In Sun Sun's mind, he thought about the years of growing up in his hometown, the carefree childhood, and the childhood of dreams. Thinking about the landscape of my hometown, my relatives at home, and the familiar people in my hometown village. I was intoxicated in my heart, and after I wanted to go back to work in the ravine of my hometown, I had relatives around me, and I was so familiar with the landscape and remembered his dreams. There are so many familiar hometown people. Let him not only live happily, but also work calmly and smoothly, and then, according to his childhood dreams, he will no longer draw circles in the same place like a snail, but can always go forward to find the dream of life.

Sun Sun returned to his hometown to work with a dream, but at this time, his father suddenly fell ill, began to see the village, the township clinic, has not been treated well, and finally went to the hospital in the city, only to check out the disease, but it has reached the end of the cancer, not long, the father died.

My father died, my home was empty, my mother was in pain, and I owed a lot of money to others, and every day someone asked for an account, and the family suddenly became broken.

Sun Sun also fell into the pain of losing his father from the height of his dream, and when on the way home, someone stopped him and asked him for an account, which made Sun Sun's heart feel extremely desolate.

The father is gone, there is no one to support the family, the mother is in the village, often bullied, Sun Sun feels that the hometown landscape is still the same, the memory is so beautiful, but people and things are gradually different.

The colleagues in the unit, although they are all people in the hometown ditch, are familiar with each other, and the work is very smooth, but they are also talking about chai rice, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar tea, and money rights, and they are extremely envious of rich and powerful people. Between words, He was full of disdain and contempt for Sun Sun, and sometimes, I don't know whether it was intentional or unintentional, he would sprinkle salt on Sun Sun's pain. It also made Sun Sun feel that the ruin of his family, the death of his father, and the pain he experienced were his own, and had nothing to do with them. Watching, thinking, making Sun Sun despair and sad.

What makes Sun Sun even more desperate and sad is that although the unit leaders do not criticize him much, the colleagues of the unit, and do not make the tripping him whole, he can work calmly and smoothly, but in such a remote place as his hometown, work is like the work of that village, drawing circles every day, that is, mechanical work, eating, pulling, sleeping. The leader of the unit, older, seems to be his side job, and when he encounters red and white happy events in the village, it is his main business, either to give gifts or to be a matchmaker. Colleagues in the unit, also older, have become families, work is lazy, loose, women often sit against the wall to play sweaters, saying parents short, or money to power the words. The male colleague also gathered around to listen, and when he said that he was happy, he let go of his voice and laughed.

Working in such an environment, talking about dreams, ideals, that is, mixed wages, and having a bite to eat. And in their narrow eyes and thoughts, they always see everything with their worldly eyes, and in their words, they always think that everything is right.

At this moment, in the pain of losing his father, and in the work, he could not find hope, but he was just wading through the years and wasting his youth, so that Sun Sun fell into the abyss of darkness.

In those days, Sun Sun remembered his dream of going to school and kept going forward, and at this time, like a snail, drawing a circle in the same place, living like he hated when he was in school, vulgar and worldly, let Sun Sun feel ashamed, ashamed, many times, feel that working like this, just for the sake of mixed food, for what. Working like this, not for dreams, ideals, and what is the meaning.

Thinking, in despair, Sun Sun wanted to quit his job and go to the city to find a life full of dreams.

When the mother knew this, she said to Sun Sun, your father is gone, it is not easy for us to provide you with education, and it is not easy to have this job, you must cherish it. At home, I support it, don't worry about you, your work things, and some other things, I can't manage it, you think twice.

Sun Sun thought about his mother's words, and also thought about the difficulty of his parents providing him with reading, and the hardships of his reading were left behind.

And what makes Sun Sun really feel at ease to stay is to ask a girl named Zi Xuan to come to work in the unit.

He is medium-sized, with a flattened and round face, eyes, a charming curve of his mouth, and a slightly fat figure. Zi Xuan is not pretty, but Zi Xu has just graduated from school, and he has no job for a while, so he comes to the unit as a temporary worker. On the body of the child, there is the simplicity of the student, full of youth, and vitality. People also have temperament, and they have pure dreams in their minds.

When Sun Sun saw Zi Xuan for the first time, he felt the special nature of Zi Xuan, and when he knew Zi Xuan's name, he remembered it and felt what a poetic name it was.

Sun Sun felt a sense of emptiness, like a ray of sunshine, instantly illuminating the unit of dead silence, and the darkness in his heart. From Zi Xuan's body, I saw dreams and hopes. People instantly became energetic, and felt in their hearts that they seemed to know each other, but they didn't know where they had seen it, and they always felt so familiar, and they had a premonition in their hearts that there would be a story between them and Zixiao. This masked Sun's inner disappointment and determination to stay and work in the remote, dead village unit of his hometown.

After Zi Xu came to work in the unit, he and Sun Sun soon got to know each other and became familiar with each other.

Zi Fei faced the remoteness and dead silence of this place, and then saw those elderly, older colleagues in the unit who had families, watching their lazy work and saying vulgar and worldly words, they also felt disgusted and disappointed.

Perhaps, just as the sub-void brought hope to Sun Sun, Sun Sun also brought hope to the sub-void.

Zi Xuan also saw that Sun Sun was the youngest in the unit, did not have a family, and did not have a relationship. And I also feel that I am not the same as those colleagues in the unit, lazy work, speaking vulgar and worldly words, work is very serious, practical, free time, or reading, or meditation, seems to be pursuing something, but there is always disappointment and sorrow that cannot be pursued.

Zi Xuan is also like Sun Sun, no matter how lazy the leader is, how lazy the colleagues in the unit are, she is serious about the work and diligent. Outside of work, I was with Sun Sun and talking casually.

Zi Xuan told Sun Sun about going to school, full of vitality and dreams. With so many people of the same age who have the same dream, what a vibrant and happy thing to be together. These words, let Sun Sun's heart, have resonance, people are also caught in the memory, the spirit up, to the child said, when going to school, people have been moving forward, walking is always going forward, and out of society, after work, like snails, in the same place to calculate, let people depressed, desperate, feel that they are wasting life and youth.

Zi Xuan just entered the society, although he did not find a job for a while, to be a temporary worker, which made him anxious and disappointed. However, she did not appreciate the despair of life and Sun Sun. In my heart, I still yearn for wishes and hope for the future. To what Sun Sun said, he listened with his eyes wide open and sighed. From the remoteness of the unit, the dead silence, and the lazy work of the unit colleagues, the heart of the child can also understand and appreciate the pain and despair in Sun Sun's heart.

In this way, Sun Sun and Zi Xuan's words gradually increased, gradually from school, to work, from work to their respective families, but Zi Xu's family, in a town, is better than Sun Sun's. From the family, it is also said that emotions, and after the inner emotions are burned, the uncontrollable moment burns a raging fire.

In the emotions of Hezixu, Sun Sun forgot the disappointment of not being able to pin his dreams on work, and also forgot the gap between the conditions at home and the zixiao family, but instead fell madly in love with zixiao, and in love, forgot all the pain and disappointment. It also made Sun Sun feel that the pure love of Hezi was enough to transcend all the worldliness and vulgarity of reality.

In the love of Hezi, Sun Sun is like a butterfly into a fairy, forgetting the earthly world, inner pain, disappointment, and happiness, as if flying in the paradise of dreams.

Zi Xuan was in Sun Sun's unit, only worked as a temporary worker for half a year, he left, went to a far place, looking for his dream, after leaving, there was no contact, Sun Sun did not know where Zi Xuan was and what to do.

Like a dream, Zi Xuan came to a remote village, a unit. Came to his life, inside. Then, he left so quickly, like a dream, dissipated outside the remote and dead village, his life, outside his heart.

Sun Sun suddenly fell from the peak of happiness to the bottom of the valley of pain. Sun Sun couldn't tell the despair and pain of those days. If he didn't think about his father's death and the ruin of his family, if he didn't look at his mother's loneliness, Sun Sun wouldn't have the courage to live, and he wanted to end his life.

Sun Sun also thought about leaving again, giving up this hopeless job, looking for Zi Xuan, looking for his love. However, his mother still advised him like that, it was not easy for him to study, it was not easy to have a job, it was easy to give up, and it was difficult to get it again. Sun Sun also thought about the difficulty of his reading, the difficulty of his parents providing him with reading, but also thinking that dreams are dreams, real life is real life, it is not easy to survive in real life, the family can no longer help him, thinking, Sun Sun did not have the courage to give up, and in pain and despair, persevered.

In those days, Sun Sun's sky was dark, and his heart was also dark, as if he had fallen into an infinite abyss, and in the darkness, he could not see the light. People also guard the memory of being with Zi Huan, thinking about the appearance of Zi Fei, and living like a walking corpse.

Many times in dreams, such a happy and childless in a fast. When I woke up, it was so empty and dazed.

Many times, when I saw the backs of other people, I always felt that it was a falsehood, but when I greeted it with excitement, I was embarrassed to find that this was not a sub-virtuality.

Zi Xuan came like a dream, and like a dream, quietly left, saw things and thought about people, leaving Only memories and pain for Sun Sun.

Hopelessness at work, no dreams. The dream of love was shattered like this, and Sun Sun fell into heavy pain.

Sun Sun lived in this disappointment and pain for a long time.

In these days, Sun Sun no longer pins hope on work, falls into the pain of love, and cannot see the hope of life, just so depressed, depraved to live every day, the daily life for him, just to live, and live, not for dreams, hope.

In order to relieve the pain in his heart, Sun Sun often vented himself in smoking, drinking, and playing cards, and pinning his heart on pain.

Sun Sun spent many good times at the card table, and after getting drunk, he caused a lot of things and made a lot of ugliness. His youth, vitality, also flowed in the years, and in his disappointment and pain, a little bit passed.

Because Sun Sun had become like this, the leader did not like it, and he transferred his work again and again, wandering around various remote villages. The people in his hometown and the people in the village did not have a good impression of Sun Sun, not many people liked him, and no girl ever loved him.

Sun Sun was disappointed, depressed in pain, and depraved. It's just that no one knows his heart. Understand his inner dream of work and the hope for life. I hope that the road of life can always lead to the front, and not like a snail, circling in the same place, repeating the same life every day, not living such a vulgar world, making people born meaningful, hopeful.

In this pain and disappointment, in the stimulation of playing cards, the anesthesia of tobacco and alcohol, Sun Sun also forgot his inner dreams, the life of hope, did not think about the work and life that was repeated every day, did not want to imagine the snail-like life, hovering in place. It also conforms to the daily days, the arrangements of others, and works and lives like that. In the midst of this, the heart of pain and disappointment, gained a little comfort, in the disappointment and pain, gradually strong, the heart gradually sprinkled into the sunshine, can see the blue sky, white clouds, sunshine, the heart is gradually brightened, can conform to the years of life, the heart is numb, do not want to live in peace.

It was also at this time that the appearance of a girl named Yangzi made Sun Sun's heart full of sunshine and full of hope for life, and in his heart, because of the pain and disappointment, the precipitated dreams, hopes, like seeds, began to grow and awaken again.

Sun Sun looked back at his life in these days after he fell into pain because of his love with Zi Fei, and felt that he was so depraved, depressed, and wasted his youth. I have been like a snail, drawing circles, living in the same place with the waves. In Sun Sun's heart, he thought of breaking free from such a life, and Yangzi could have a sweet and happy love, and then, with passion, he could make some achievements in his work, get the affirmation of others, let people get wonderful and meaningful life, and not live like a snail drawing a circle, hopeless, worldly and vulgar. Instead, I can live like when I was in school, full of vitality, following a way forward, and full of hope.

In order to pursue Yangzi, Sun Sun resolutely left his hometown and chased after Yangzi.

In the first days, everything was so sweet and beautiful. The flowers are in full bloom, the sun is clear and warm, and the grass burrows out of the ground, and the yangzi is sweet and happy together.

Carefully observing, Sun Sun felt that Yang Zi looked like a child, whether it was in appearance, or personality, or even smiling, talking, and acting like. This made Sun Sun's heart more excited, sweet, as if going back in time, walking into a dream, and Zi Xuan began the unfinished love again.

And the emotions that have been silent in the heart for many years have erupted like a flood that opens the floodgates. Sun Sun's love for Yoko was so sincere and fierce. The hope of love, and the hope of future work and life, are pinned on the love of Yangzi, as if feeling that as long as there is a kind of love, the future love marriage must be sweet and happy. And as long as there is Yangzi's love, companionship, let him find the feeling in the memory, he can completely get out of the pain, reinvigorate, rejuvenate, rejuvenate, full of hope to live, according to a straight road, to school, full of passion to go forward, the future life, must be full of happiness, happiness.

Yoko also said that she loves Sun Sun, and the years of companionship are so beautiful. This adds to Sun Sun's dreams, imaginations, and inner passions, and suddenly, it seems to have changed into a person, rejuvenated, working hard, loving Yoko sweetly, and full of imagination for the future life.

However, the end of sun shoot and yangzi's love is the same as that of Zi Xuan. When Sun Sun poured all his inner emotions into Yangzi's body, his heart was full of beautiful imaginations of future love, marriage, work, and life, but he did not expect that Yangzi was under his eyes, disappearing beyond his sight and beyond his life. Suddenly, Yoko got along with a person in the city, and at a very fast speed, she married the people in the city and went to the city. From beginning to end, Yangzi didn't explain much, what to say to Sun Sun. And things happened so quickly that Sun Sun couldn't believe it, too late to inquire, reflect on something, and still sink in his dream of Yangzi. It was the unforgiving reality that awakened Sun Sun's dream.

Sun Sun felt that he had fallen twice in the same place, on the road of love, unconsciously, drawn a ridiculous, perfect circle.

Emotional pain once again pushed Sun Sun from the peak of happiness to the abyss of pain. Push him from the light, into the darkness, into the pain, unable to see the sun, the road ahead.

However, at this time, Sun Sun knew that he was almost at the age of establishment, no longer young, his father was gone, his mother and brothers were living a life, he had no one to rely on, he could only rely on himself, in order to survive, eat, work on the only object to rely on, just like his acres and three points of land, in pain, see the reality, after experiencing reality, Sun Sun did not think about staying, hoping, dreaming, but thinking about how to live.

Sun Sun was in pain, and full of memories of YangZi, Yangzi's countenance, and Yangzi's scene together, flashed in his mind, and even the memory that Lianzi left in his heart, suddenly woke up, and Yangzi's memory overlapped in one piece, the memory made Sun Sun happy, and waking up from the memory, bringing Sun Sunsun was deep pain, the pain made Sun Sun feel as if he was in the boundless darkness, he couldn't see the road ahead, how to live, people were numbed by pain, and every day was a walking dead-like work. In my free time at work, I would lie on the bed in the house, staring at the ceiling in a daze, or through the window, looking at the sky, the mountains in a daze. The pain was so great that he anesthetized himself with tobacco and alcohol, and went to the village to find someone to play cards and seek comfort.

Sun Sun thought, I'm afraid that in this pain, I have been so depressed, depraved, and there is no hope in life, when there is no more hope in life, there is a girl in the unit, the girl is called Lian'er, long general, medium-sized, slightly fat, long face.

After coming, I don't know if it is a sentence from the leader of the unit, so that there is a problem in the work of the lover, I will ask Sun Sun, or after the lover sees the sun shoot, he has a good feeling for the sun shoot, after starting the work, the child has something to do at work, so he asks the sun sun.

When The lover went, a smile on his face, a very respectful look, in the face of the enthusiasm of the people, Sun Sun was not good to refuse, he said to the lover, the lover is very serious to listen, gradually, the work will be familiar with the work, can work smoothly.

Lian'er is also a careful girl, so she washes Sun Sun's clothes, fetches water, and cooks for Sun Sun to eat to repay Sun Sun. In his free time, he chatted with Sun Sun, talked about work, also recalled school, and also talked about life and the affairs of their respective families, and inner affairs.

In the unit, Sun Sun and The young lovers are all people who have become families and have family children.

Sun Sun and Lian'er soon became familiar.

The care and companionship of the lover to Sun Sun, so that the pain in Sun Sun's heart, gradually alleviated, the dark heart, gradually sprinkled into the sunshine, the cold heart, with warmth, gradually can see the road ahead, and the hope of life, cheer up to work, live. There was also a smile on his face, and the gaze in his eyes began to brighten.

From He Lian'er's words, Sun Sun knew that Lian'er's family was also an ordinary family in the village, and his parents were also ordinary people in the village. The family has a son and does not depend on her. When talking about feelings, Sun Sun said that the family's feelings for her are not much, as long as someone likes her and wants her, she is also willing. The family does not handle it, and they can do whatever they want.

Sun Sun and Lian'er soon fell in love, and it didn't take long for the blazing heat of love, and after some days, they went to The Lover's Home, and the Lover's home was indeed as the Lover said, and the family's love marriage for the Lover's child was indeed as the Lover said. Sun Sun also thinks about the family, the father is no longer there, the mother and brothers live a life, do not let him worry about the life of the family, the family can not worry about him, because far from home, there is no love to take the love child to the home, but also think of their own love, marriage is like the love child, as long as they have to go, willing to do, they can be the master, and there is not much money in hand, in addition to the unit house, there is no other place to live, can not be operated, and after talking with the love child for some more days, he went to the lover's house, gave some bride price, went to the county to do the marriage procedures , returned to the unit and invited the unit colleagues to have a meal, said about their marriage, in the congratulations of the unit colleagues, even if the marriage was married, and the lover finally walked into love, marriage.

Sun Sunjing sat in the hut, looking at her lover, and the red characters on the wall, arranged a tidy room, and thought to herself, I will get married. And thinking back to the twists and turns of love that I have experienced, the pain, I did not expect that the real marriage would be so smooth and simple.

Sun Sun and Lover, lived some peaceful, happy life, work life, marriage sweet, happy. A year later, The lover also gave birth to a child, is a son, which adds hope to a peaceful and happy life, so that Sun Sun has forgotten the pain, ups and downs, work, and life, full of hope, the dream hidden in the heart, began to sprout again, Sun Sun longed, in the work of the achievements, affirmed, can have a bright future. In the family, I can enjoy sweetness and happiness in peace. Although people are no longer young, in the years and life, the body is disproportionate, and the youthful youth is gone, but Sun Sun longs to take a road to the front, rather than like a snail, circling in the same place, living so vulgar and hopeless.

Sun Sun perked up again, rejuvenated his spirits, had courage and motivation in his heart, and worked seriously and diligently. It also supports the family and desires a smooth and happy family.

However, at this moment, the old leader of the unit left, and there came a fat leader, wearing glasses, and the eyes behind the lenses were sharp, and he could shoot and kill people.

After the fat leader came, he rearranged the work in the unit, and Sun Sun and Lian'er did a different job than before, and the work was much heavier.

Sun Sun thought in his heart, people are sick and die, and they are not tired, so they will not die of exhaustion. I also thought about how many years I had worked, no matter what job I changed, it didn't matter, my lover had his guidance, and there was no problem.

Thinking like this, although Sun Sun's heart was a little unhappy, he also released himself.

However, in the future work, no matter what Sun Sun and Lian'er do, they will not be recognized by the fat leaders, and they will criticize and criticize at times. At the time of evaluation, the score is always behind.

This poured cold water on the heart of the diligent and conscientious sun, and the dream of being affirmed and having a bright future through diligent work was gradually shattering.

The colleagues in the unit, with a smile on their faces, were behind the fat leader's small report that hit them.

The fat leader has more and more no good feelings for Sun Sun and His son, and usually criticizes, criticizes at meetings, and has the lowest scores when evaluating.

Sun Sun endured silently, and gradually let go of the arrogance to make achievements in the work, and the dream of that career, and then calmly and peacefully treated the work, transferred his heart to the family, took care of the children, treated the lover with his heart, and the lover enjoyed the sweetness and happiness of the family after work.

However, at this moment, the child fell ill, and then the lover also became ill, very sick, and was sent to the city hospital to be hospitalized.

The doctor told Sun Sun that after treatment, the child's illness could be stabilized, but he was afraid of taking medicine all his life.

It was also at this time that Sun Sun understood that Lian'er had been ill before he knew him. Sun Suncai thought that it was no wonder that the love marriage with the lover was so smooth, and the family of the lover was so simple to let them get married.

Sun Sun suddenly felt as if he had been deceived and entered a trap, extremely disappointed and angry.

However, the lover was sick, and Sun Sun's anger was nowhere to be found, and the pain and disappointment pushed him into the abyss.

However, looking at the son born to The Lover, thinking back to the love child cooking for him, washing clothes, pouring water, accompanying his happiness, and saving him from pain and despair, Sun Sun's heart, there is no anger, but there is sympathy and pity for himself, and the love child. I feel that they are all poor children of God, and since they have come together, they should join hands, take care of each other, share happiness, and meet the wind and rain and disaster together. At this time, the lover has been on his woman, he is the husband of the lover, and fate has bound them together so tightly that it is impossible to escape.

Thinking like this, Sun Sun perked up again in pain and disappointment.

When he was discharged from the hospital, it was raining, and the shoes worn by Sun Sun were broken, and he entered the water, which was unusually cold. However, looking at the lover who has gradually recovered, the smile on the lover's face and the bright gaze in his eyes. After saying to Sun Sun, he and Sun Sun worked smoothly in a piece, boiling water for Sun Sun, cooking, washing clothes, and calmly and happily in one piece. After looking at the illness in his arms, the child's smile and Sun Sun's heart were so warm. Thinking that no matter what you experience or what happens, as long as you are with your family, it is sweet and happy.

After returning to work, some colleagues made smiles and superficially inquired about their lover's illness.

Fat leaders, still difficult for Sun Sun, often criticize Sun Sun, when evaluating, the results are at the end, once, the anger that Sun Sun endured in his heart finally broke out, scolding at the fat leader, here is not to leave the grandfather, there is a place to stay.

After scolding, I wrote the application, asked the fat leader to sign it, sent it to the county, and then went to entrust the person. Not long after, Sun Sun and Lian'er were transferred back to their hometown to work.

Sun Sun knows that on the road to work, he is drawing circles every day, and on the trajectory of work, with the dream of love, leaving his hometown, at this time, in helplessness, he went back and drew another circle.

Although Sun Sun felt so disappointed in the snail-like, round life, he thought in his heart that after returning to work, he was familiar with the landscape of his hometown, the people and things in his hometown were also familiar, and his hometown, mother and brother, could give help and comfort, in that familiar environment and personnel, no matter what, work would be able to go smoothly, and life could be in peace, sweetness and happiness.

Thinking, Sun Sun's brain, full of imagination, full of excitement, as if back to the school years, in the walk to the front, full of dreams of the road, with pride, smile, left other places, let him disappointed and painful, there is a village that brings him hope, sweet and happy, back to his hometown to work in the landscape.

Sun Sun returned to work in the unit near his hometown village, he had worked in this unit before, and the leaders and colleagues in the unit were all colleagues and leaders who had been together before, the difference was that under the flow of the years, in life, they were gradually getting old. Some have gray hair on their heads, and some have wrinkles on their faces. However, what has not changed is the work in the unit, the unit is remote, there are not many things, the unit leaders still like to rush things in the village, sometimes go to give gifts, sometimes go to the matchmaker, drink, return to the unit, close the door and sleep, let the storm outside have nothing to do with him.

Colleagues in the unit, the woman is still sitting in a big sweater, the man is sitting next to it, talking about stealing chickens and dogs in the village, and gossiping about it, in order to have fun, be happy, and laugh loudly. For the rich and powerful, there is still a lot of admiration, and it feels that it is the most successful and best in life.

Sun Sun knew that in his work, he had been like a snail for so many years, drawing circles in the same place and working without hope. At this time, on the road to work, he invisibly drew a circle, which made him feel more and more like a snail drawing a circle, without dreams and hopes. Therefore, in the face of such a situation in the unit, although there is some disappointment in the heart, but, not desperate, soon adapted, accepted, do not think about the so-called dream, hope, just like a snail drawing a circle in place, just to solve the problem of survival, do not think about dreams, hope.

Not to talk about hopes, dreams, Sun Sun felt, in fact, the colleagues in the unit, for him and the lover are very good, the work is very light, very easy to do, let him and the love of the child's work smooth. In life, when there is something to help, they make delicious food, take good food, and call them to eat. Sometimes, get a dish, drink in a piece, talk while drinking, giggle, say nothing matters, enjoy the unfettered pleasure in a piece.

However, despite this, let Sun Sun be as worldly and vulgar as they are, Sun Sun still can't do it. In many cases, Sun Sun stayed away from them, living in his own hut and living space. Only when there is something going on, or lonely, lonely, get together, listen to their casual talk, and laugh. Sometimes, Sun Sun also laughed, but he felt that the laughter was inexplicable. After leaving, Sun Sun's heart, thinking back to himself when he was studying, he was full of vitality and dreams, and he didn't know why he particularly hated himself at this time, his nose was sour, and he suddenly wanted to cry. However, thinking about the road he has come along, the people and things he has experienced, no matter how he struggles, he is doomed to struggle but worldly, vulgar, and cannot find the same as when he was studying, taking a straight road, looking for a life with hope and dreams. Reality wants him to live a vulgar, worldly, hopeless, dream life. Like a snail, drawing one irregular circle after another in place.

In the face of this scene, thinking that his youth and vitality are no longer there, and there is a family and a child on his shoulder, he thinks that this life is afraid that he will have no dreams like this, hope, in the vulgar world, living for chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea, living.

Thinking, although some are not willing, some are bitter, but do not I think there is still a complete family, and a relative of the village family? No longer pin dreams on work, hope, only work as a means of making a living, as long as the work, can be paid on time on the line, other do not think so much, what dreams, pursuits, careers, face the reality are so pale, ethereal. After receiving the payment, it is the most real thing to let the family's life, in peace, live happily, and let the child grow up healthily.

Sun Sun put his heart on the family, on the children, on the relatives.

Sun Sun hopes that his lover will take medicine, his condition will be stable, his body will always be good, he can work, he can live a peaceful life with him, and he can support the days at home. I also hope that the child will grow up healthily, and in the future, he will be able to read the book into it, and he can follow the reading path, go far and far, and go all the way to the far side of the straight road to realize the dreams that he has not realized. I also hope that the relatives at home will be in good health, and that they will be able to find happiness in their memories in a harmonious piece.

For this dream, Sun Sun resigned himself to his work, allowing people's white eyes, letting people sneer, letting people rectify, and letting people move him around, all of them keeping their hearts still, not fighting, not arguing, conforming to everything, no longer pinning any hopes and dreams on work, only as a means of making a living, allowing others to let him draw one irregular hopeless circle after another, and pinning his heart on the family, children, and relatives of his dreams.

However, after many years, except for the love child who accompanied him without abandonment, took medicine, could stabilize his illness, worked, lived, cooked for him, washed clothes, and talked with him, the rest disappointed Sun Sun.

Although children grow up healthily, when they reach the age of reading and go to school, they do not have to focus on reading. Sun Sun felt that the child had just gone to school, Xu was not enlightened, in the future days, enlightenment, you can like to read, can read the book well, realize his unfinished dream, has been studying straight, has been extending to the road ahead, go very far, very far, to the place he did not go, do not know.

However, many years later, the child's learning is still the same, in the class, the whole school is at the bottom, no matter what Sun Sun said, he looks disdainful, that is, he looks like he does not learn and has no skills, and he has the feeling of not making a living by reading in the future and dreaming. Seeing this, Sun Sun was completely disappointed in the child.

After a while, disappointment is disappointment, thinking that although I have read so many books, but on the road of life, I have been drawing circles, and I have suffered so much in my heart that I have suffered and humiliated, and in the end, I am just eating for a bite of food. If, not for the dream, in fact, people live, have a mouthful of food to eat, can walk the road, do a lot of things, there is no need to walk the canoe bridge of reading, although the dream is beautiful, after falling into reality, it is so desolate, tormented, suffering endless disappointment and humiliation.

After thinking like this, although Sun Sun was disappointed in the child, he also gradually released the child, perhaps, the child has his life path, dreams, and way of life, the road to be taken in life. There is no need for the child to take his place, to follow his path, to pursue his dreams. These are things that children don't like.

After being disappointed in the child and starting, Sun Sun no longer pinned his hopes on the child, no longer thought about what to think about the child, what to worry about, and felt that the child gradually grew up, and everything went naturally. It was like a bird growing up and full of wings, eventually flying out of his nest, to the place where he felt wider and farther, to find his life, and the dreams he felt.

Sun Sun felt that in the face of growing up more and more, getting farther and farther away from them, with his own life, the child of dreams, Sun Sun felt that he was still like a snail, drawing a circle.

The relatives of the village family, when Sun Sun and His er first returned home, were fortunate, harmonious and harmonious together, so that Sun Sun found the happiness in his memory, and let him forget the disappointment at work and the inner torment.

However, as the brothers grew up day by day, the contradictions gradually increased, and sometimes, inadvertently, there would be quarrels and contradictions. Later, when the brothers wanted to find a daughter-in-law, there were more contradictions, and they had the meaning of driving away the grandson and the lover, and the child left.

In the end, the brother could not find a daughter-in-law in the ravine of his hometown, and in desperation, he went to the outside of the mountain to be a son-in-law, took all the money from the family, locked the old house, and only left a very small room next to the old house for Sun Sun and his lover, and then, together with his mother, went outside.

Looking at the empty old house, the closed gate, he thought that the village of his hometown was still the same, the blue sky above his head, and the mountains around him were still the same, but what he longed for was like a child, living with his relatives, and could not be found again. Thinking about myself, in my hometown, there is no place to live, there is only a job to survive, there is nothing but a few lonely people, just like a red stripe from my mother's belly to this world.

Sun Sun felt that in the face of his relatives, life made him invisible, and he drew another painting, which was so desolate and hard that he tasted human nature.

And the people in the hometown village will always use some trivial things, steal chickens and dogs, and tie sun shoots and lovers, so that sun shoots feel that the people in their hometown are no longer as simple, thick and kind as in their memories, but have become so narrow, selfish, and vicious. Let Sun Sun feel extremely desolate, feel that his hometown and village are difficult to accommodate, and stay.

Sun Sun was born and grew up in his hometown, and this side of the landscape left too many of his memories, but Sun Sun felt that at this time, for his hometown and his hometown landscape, he had become a person outside his hometown, he had no land here, mountains and forests, and it was so difficult to get a foothold.

At this time, I heard that there were house sellers in the small county town, so I paid a down payment in the small county town and bought a house.

After buying a house and moving in, Sun Sun's heart had a moment of excitement, fanaticism, and the hopes and dreams hidden in his heart were stirring again, and Sun Sun thought that in the future, he could transfer his lover and his work to a small county town, and then the family entered the small county town to work, live, bid farewell to the village forever, and became a person in the city.

Therefore, Sun Sun began to be diligent and serious about his work, hoping to get affirmation and walk into his dream.

However, after Sun Sun had been fanatical for some days, he learned that working in a small county town had nothing to do with the diligence and seriousness of the work, but with the ability to recognize and not know some people and their ability to move. Later, Sun Sun knew that if he wanted to work in a small county town, he needed to know many people, and he also needed money to make him feel afraid, and after going in, how long he could stay, no one could guarantee it, and maybe at any time he would give some reasons to the possibility of rolling back to the rural village.

Sun Sun thought about the complexity of people and things in the small county town, the hierarchy and the tight security, thinking about the need for so much money, and thinking that there were too many rich and powerful people waiting with great eyes, his heart was immediately cold, and the dream was shattered. Just think, just work in the countryside village, work as a means of making a living, let it be arranged anywhere, during the holidays, live in a small county town, a small county town home, the right to be a place to live!

When he let go of all his dreams, hopes, just for the sake of living, going with the flow, the life of Sun Sun and his lover, getting better day by day, the mortgage was also invited day by day, and there was a balance, a moment of excitement, excitement, Sun Sun went to learn the car again, bought a car.

When in other things, can not find dreams and hope, Sun Sun found hope in his marriage and life with his lover, had a warm, stable home in the city, had a car, in the holidays and free time, he returned to the home of the small county, lived like a city person, also drove a car, went to the place he wanted to play, and enjoyed the bird flying out of the cage, carefree, unrestrained life. In such a life, Sun Sun seems to have returned to his childhood.

When driving around some of the nearby places and there was no new feeling, when a long holiday came, Sun Sun and His Er planned a longer trip, not driving, taking the train, going to a place they had never been before.

After such a plan, there was a holiday, and there was money in hand, and when he said to leave, Sun Sun and His Lover'er left.

Sun Sun and Ai'er got on the train, crossed the mountains, crossed the plains, and crossed the mountains, walked out of the familiar sky, the environment in which they lived, and faced the unfamiliar sky, the unfamiliar natural environment, and the personnel.

Looking at this fresh natural environment, surrounded by various accents, strange people and things, Sun Sun felt that he had escaped from the familiar environment, people and things, and also escaped from the life he had always had, and those who experienced people and things began to become indifferent and blurry, and had nothing to do with the environment at this time and the life of the journey. Sun Sun had a feeling of being born new. As if breaking with his past life, he has lived again, as if he were a child, carefree. Back to childhood, innocent and dreaming of innocence. Back in the era of study, I have always longed for the future and had a beautiful dream.

In Sun Sun's heart, in the face of this fresh environment, people and things, in the feeling of new life, the heart suddenly surged with pride, and the dream of longing for a distant place hidden in the depths of his heart began to sprout again. Although Sun Sun knew that in the flow of the years and the grinding of life, he was no longer young, his forehead hair was sparse, his body was disproportionate, and the youth and vitality of the past were gone in the worldly, vulgar life of snail-like circles.

After a moment of excitement and pride, Sun Sun faced his already old self, thinking about reality, and his own situation, knowing that he could maintain the stability of his family in a snail-like circle life, the stability of his own life, ease, in peace and plainness, enjoying sweet happiness, it was not easy, he should feel satisfied, when he was young, he had always longed for the front, the dream of the distance, facing the gradually aging self, and the reality was difficult to pick up, just the most beautiful dream in his heart.

Sun Sun thought, looking at the strange sky outside the car window, the scenery, sighing in vain, feeling desolate.

However, Sun Sun suddenly thought in his heart, since my work, life, love, and everything, in the face of reality, it seems that I can't avoid the fate of drawing circles in the same place like a snail, and at this time, I am gradually getting old, and I can't break free from anything, I can only comply. Then, let this trip, unlike the life experienced, always draw a circle, but can take a straight, leading to the distance, enjoy the strange and fresh scenery along the way, find the dream in the heart, and get a momentary satisfaction, intoxication.

Thinking about it, Sun Sun's heart became excited, and he wanted to practice his dream that he had gradually left behind in reality through this trip.

The train follows the tracks, and moreover, it moves forward, one moment on the viaduct, one moment in the tunnel, and the other on the flat river in the mountains, fast and smooth.

Outside the car window, the scenery changes, it is so novel, strange. Just as new and strange is the sky above, so blue, so warm as the sun.

Sun Sun sun fell in love with his son and went to Lanzhou. Get off the train and admire Lanzhou City, which is a city in the mountains. The mountains around the city are very tall, and there are no grass rivers and trees on the mountains, bare and yellow. The water of the Yellow River flows through the city, and the river water is mixed with yellow. The city is located in the mountains and is distributed on both sides of the Yellow River. The streets in the city are wide and smooth, and the buildings next to the streets are high and low, and there are very luxurious buildings.

Admired the city of Lanzhou, at night, ate Lanzhou ramen, mutton, drank beer, and then found a very comfortable hotel to stay.

The next morning when I got up, I lost interest in Lanzhou City, looked at the distant mountains, the sky, thinking about Xining, Qinghai, I was attracted by Xining, Qinghai, knew how far the road was, and then went straight to the railway station and took the train to Xining.

Enjoyed the unfamiliar scenery along the way, and it didn't take long to reach Xining. Xining is also a city in the mountains. Although the street is not wide, the buildings next to the street are high and low, and there are also very luxurious buildings. And in the city, there are rivers crisscrossing, the river is clear, and the city is shaded with flowers and trees, which is a very beautiful and cool city.

Sun Sun reveled in Xining.

And when Sun Sun knew that entering Xining was a little far from entering Qinghai, and the place in Qinghai was very big, there was the Qaidam Basin, there was a salt lake, there was Coco Xili, there was Kunlun Mountain, and there was Tanggula Mountain. There is also Qinghai Lake. Listen, Sun Sun wanted to go. However, in Xining, suddenly, I didn't want to eat, my head was dizzy, I had a feeling of always wanting to throw up, and my body had no strength. Knowing that it is a long way to go to those places, the road is difficult, think of your gradually aging body, when you get to Xining, you will begin to have altitude sickness, those beautiful places, I am afraid that I can't go, I can only imagine.

After a day in Xining, I had no fresh feelings for Xining and wanted to leave. Going forward, it is Xinjiang, or Tibet, thinking about the difficulty of the road, altitude sickness, I don't want to go. However, he did not want to return from the original road, Sun Sun came to be interested, bought a train ticket to Yinchuan, wanted to return from Yinchuan, in a straight line along the way, enjoyed the fresh scenery along the way, looked for the dream in his heart, and made up for the regrets in his heart.

Stayed up for a night, to Yinchuan, Yinchuan is surrounded by Helan Mountain, in the city, the streets are wide, tree-lined, there are many lakes. The people of the city, living leisurely, are going to be a very beautiful, delicate city.

After a day of playing in Yinchuan, I was ready to return. However, the next morning, to the train station, only to know that sleepover, the return train has already departed, only the train from the north to Hohhot, asked the fare, to Hohhot is not far, Bought Hohhot train tickets, confused on the train, no reason and reason to go to Hohhot.

Hohhot, is a city on the plains of the daqing mountains, the city is very prosperous, very large, the streets are wide, crisscrossed, the buildings next to the street, one next to the other, is very tall, luxurious.

In the city, there are some interesting places, especially the place of Dazhao Temple, which is crowded and extra lively at night. There are authentic lamb kebabs, there are beers from Inner Mongolia. Lamb kebabs taste good, and beer tastes mellow. However, after playing in the city for a day, I feel that although there is no strange feeling in this city, people are also very enthusiastic, but when I look at the signboards, they are marked in Chinese and Mongolian, giving people a feeling of being in a different place and leaving their hometown too far. A strange feeling surged into his heart, and Sun Sun thought about leaving.

I don't want to go back from the same road, so I can only go north, or go east.

Gradually there was no way north, or where he was going to be far away, where he could not go. I could only go east and bought a train ticket to Beijing.

Stayed up all night on the train and arrived in Beijing the next day.

The city of Beijing is indeed beautiful! There is Tiananmen, there is the Forbidden City, there are countless courtyards, and next to the street, locust trees are next to each other.

The streets of Beijing are wide and there are many cars on the streets. On the sidewalk, people come and go. After the second ring road, those buildings, like bamboo, or big trees, grew like bamboo, so high, so luxurious, let people feel so small.

And the city of Beijing, is also so big, how big it is, Sun Sun does not know, feels as if there is no boundary to the big, he feels so dazed, feels like a drop of water, into the sea, instantly silent.

Sun Sun and Lian'er looked at it with their eyes wide open and walked around excitedly. However, the streets of Beijing City are too wide and very long, reaching into the unknown distance, and the legs of Sun Sun and Lian'er who walked hurt and could not walk. Also feeling hungry, just looked for restaurants off the street and ate. Only then did I know that the food in Beijing city was more expensive than the food in the cities I traveled.

After eating, it is not early, the red sun, between the tall buildings, sinking down, the city of Beijing seems so calm and serene, the cars on the street are still coming and going, and people are also bustling like ants. Sun Sun and Lian'er want to find a place to stay, and then decide what to do next.

However, asking many places, in the hometown, or the city that has experienced, only a few dozen pieces of hotels need more than a hundred in Beijing. And the man told Sun Sun that there were no hotels under a hundred in Beijing.

This disappointed Sun Sun, who felt that although the city of Beijing was good, it was not a place to stay for a long time. So, without thinking much, I don't know whether it was anger or disappointment, I immediately took a taxi to the train station and bought a train ticket back to the city of my hometown. Sitting on the train, Sun Sun scolded in his heart, Beijing on dog day, I will not come again, take the hard-earned money, get here to use, it is really a waste. This is simply a man-eating ghost place.

Sitting on the train, I don't know when, driving out of the city of Beijing, the city's high-rise buildings, and the lights gradually faded away, outside the car window, is a darkness, and the stars are dotted with lights, Sun Sun's heart calmed down. Sun Sun's heart thought that after staying up one night on the train, he would be able to reach his hometown city tomorrow and go back. Thinking about it, I felt relaxed, comfortable, and landed like a solid.

In my mind, just like a dream, is the scene of this trip, the sights and smells along the way, the scenery to be admired. In the freshness and strangeness, people feel so intoxicated.

Just like this, Sun Sun suddenly felt that his trip, invisibly, the trajectory of walking, invisibly drew a circle. At the beginning of the trip, after escaping from the familiar environment, and life, thinking about starting a straight-line trip like a dream of studying in an unfamiliar environment and personnel, but I did not think that in the end, I could not break free, and invisibly walked an irregular circle. From the starting point back to the starting point. From familiar to unfamiliar and back to familiar, everything is like fate, unable to break free.

Sun Sun took the train for one night, got off the train the next day, and returned to the house where he lived, but as soon as he entered the community, he heard the sound of firecrackers, screaming, and his heart suddenly sank, knowing that someone had died.

Looking at those filial pieties wearing white cloths and listening to people's cries, Sun Sun's heart was also a little sad.

I don't know why, looking at the deceased people, being slowly carried away, ready to go into the ground for safety, and then think about their own travel, and their own life experience, Sun Sun suddenly had an epiphany, in fact, life is originally to be a circle of the process, from birth to death to life a circle. Every day's life is also a circle. And in the countless trivialities of life, it is not all drawing one circle after another. This circle after circle, interconnected, constitutes a person's life and makes people move towards the future. And the one that is really straight, does not draw circles, has always been far away, does not exist in reality, it is just life in dreams.

Sun Sun also felt that life, perhaps really these circles, is full of seemingly worldly, vulgar life, full of warmth, and meaning, in the joys and sorrows, and joys and sorrows, contains all kinds of tastes of life.

2017, 8, 11 draft