On the one hand, there is an extremely urgent surgical treatment, and on the other hand, there is a young life that is pregnant in May.
Between herself and her children, Zhang Lijun, who is only 26 years old, chose the latter.
"I've lived for 26 years, but he hasn't seen the world at all."
After saying this, Zhang Lijun smiled. At that moment, she made a decision at a fork in the road in her life that could not be changed.
Although he already knew his wife's determination, Han Shijun couldn't help but blush after hearing these words.
On December 3, 2015, "Xiaolongbao", who had only been in his mother's belly for seven months, came to this colorful world.
In November 2016, Zhang Lijun, who was unable to accompany her child to her first birthday, left the world she loved.
In June 2020, her husband Han Shijun remarried.
Looking back at Zhang Lijun's anti-cancer and production bit by bit, it is worth it that only she can make up her mind.
Desperate bet: "small dumplings" born three months prematurely
On December 1, 2015, several doctors from the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology of a hospital in Shanghai came to the ward of pancreatic surgery.
There was a special patient living in the ward, a mother-to-be who was seven months pregnant.
Ordinary pregnant women should be admitted to the ward of obstetrics and gynecology, but Zhang Lijun is different. Suffering from advanced pancreatic cancer, she receives daily consultation and treatment from a surgeon.
In her case, both doctors and family members want her to put her life first.
But the stubborn Zhang Lijun did the opposite, saying that she would give birth to the child in her womb safely.
"When I was diagnosed with an advanced stage in October, I asked the doctor if there was any possibility that this cancer cell could metastasize to the baby's body."
"The doctor said no, the baby can't be infected. After getting this answer, I decided to give birth to him. ”
It was the crystallization of her love for her husband and the continuation of her long-awaited life.
Everyone chooses to respect a mother's decision, but obstetrician-gynecologists and pancreatic surgeons are also informed of the possible risks in advance.
The child will certainly not be able to wait for full-term delivery and will have to undergo a caesarean section at the latest or so.
As for whether to arrange a caesarean section as soon as the arrival of seven months, or postpone it for a week, the choice of this node is also crucial.
From the baby's point of view, of course, it is the safest to postpone the reproduction of a week, so that the survival rate of the child can also be much higher.
However, from the perspective of Zhang Lijun's physical condition, the sooner she gives birth, the better, which is convenient for her to undergo pancreatic cancer surgery.
On December 1, the seven-month delivery period has arrived, and doctors must determine the patient's thoughts today.
Zhang Lijun, who was lying on the hospital bed, was also extremely entangled at this time. Of course she loved her children, but she was also afraid of death.
"I'm not great enough to completely disregard my own life, after all, I'm only 26 years old."
In Zhang Lijun's vision at that time, she wanted to have the next healthy child and then undergo surgery as soon as possible.
If she could live one more year, she would live one more year, because she didn't want her children to be born without their mothers.
Desperate, Zhang Lijun chose to have a caesarean section immediately, believing that this strong little life would survive safely.
At 7 a.m. on December 3, Zhang Lijun was scheduled to undergo her first caesarean section.
Outside the door, there is a family anxiously waiting; inside the door, there are doctors waiting in a strict line.
Among them, the head nurse of the neonatal department is also fully armed, and she needs to deal with all emergencies after the birth of the baby.
Premature babies born three months early are not yet mature, especially their lung function is not yet perfect.
Therefore, the child is likely to have suffocation at birth. Even if this does not occur, it is necessary to be immediately sent to a neonatal intensive care unit.
In the efforts of the doctors and the prayers of the people, Xiaolongbao was born smoothly.
As a premature baby, he weighed only a little more than two pounds, and his crying was very weak and hoarse.
But fortunately, the small dumplings did not appear to suffocate. To stabilize his breathing, doctors quickly inserted a tube into his mouth to assist in breathing.
At this time, the weak Zhang Lijun lay on the operating table and opened a smile. When Xiaolongbao was carried to her, the mother and son made their first contact in their lives.
After kissing her baby on the cheek, she said only two words – "it's good".
It's good that the much-anticipated little dumplings have come to this world safely.
In the process of constantly fighting against the disease, Zhang Lijun, who is a mother, has done everything to protect her child.
The reason why the couple decided to give the child this nickname was because of the harmonic sound of "Xiaolongbao".
Zhang Lijun was born in 1989, the zodiac belongs to the snake; Han Shijun was born in 1988, the zodiac belongs to the dragon.
A heavenly dragon and an earth dragon, so their children are "Dragon Treasure".
"In Shanghainese, 'Longbao' and 'Longbao' are the same and can't be distinguished, so we want to call him 'Xiaolongbao'."
The arrival of this child has enhanced Zhang Lijun's desire to survive to a certain extent.
As a mother, she wants to stay as long as possible in her child's life for as many years as possible. Even if she knew that she could no longer have the life of a normal person.
The reason why he also wanted to give birth to this child was to let him accompany her husband instead of himself.
After the caesarean section, Zhang Lijun, who had only sat for six days, returned to pancreatic surgery with confidence.
Although the operation was postponed for two months, there is still a glimmer of hope for life.
But not long after, a sunny thunderbolt fell on the family again.
This bad news can't help but remind Zhang Lijun of the grief and despair when she was diagnosed.
The mother-to-be was suffering from cancer and suffered bad news before the operation
In 2014, Zhang Lijun and Han Shijun, who have been in love for many years, entered the marriage hall.
The like-minded two have determined the belief of being together for the rest of their lives from the beginning of their love, and the parents of both sides are also happy for their union.
In May 2015, Zhang Lijun became pregnant with Xiaolongbao.
At that time, the family did not know whether the child in the womb was male or female, but everyone was looking forward to the arrival of this little life.
From the beginning of pregnancy to the fifth month, Zhang Lijun never left behind a single obstetric examination.
Every time they look at the B-ultrasound charts and listen to the growing heartbeat of their children, the couple is very much looking forward to the day of parenthood.
But a bad news came to Zhang Lijun's side unconsciously.
During a routine examination in October, doctors suddenly noticed a large shadow in Zhang Lijun's pancreas.
To be on the safe side, she suggested that the couple go to pancreatic surgery for another checkup.
With a nervous mood, Zhang Lijun made another examination. But the results of this examination were like thunderbolts on a sunny day, which made the couple dare not believe it for a long time.
"According to the results of the examination, it is advanced pancreatic cancer. And the appearance of this tumor is also quite special, we recommend immediate surgery. ”
"But considering you're pregnant, you need your family to make trade-offs, but don't delay too long."
If she decides to undergo surgery, then Zhang Lijun will have to give up her child.
However, even after surgery, the postoperative survival rate is very low.
Because pancreatic cancer is also known as the "king of cancer", it is difficult to be diagnosed in the early stages, and once diagnosed, it is very likely to be advanced.
The low diagnosis rate and low cure rate make it one of the malignant tumors that everyone hears.
This kind of thing happens to any family, let alone a situation like Zhang Lijun's family.
Overnight, Han Shijun faced not only the pain of losing his child, but also the pain of losing his wife.
Zhang Lijun has been locking herself in the room since she was diagnosed, and her first consideration is not how to save herself, but how to protect her children.
Everyone advised her: "Induction of labor, her body is the most important." ”
But she only replied with one word, if she insisted on inducing labor, then she would rather give up her life.
After ensuring that the baby in her belly will never suffer from cancer, Zhang Lijun embarked on a dangerous road.
Give birth to the child before the operation.
On December 3 of the same year, Xiaolongbao was born. Although he was born prematurely, he was as strong as his mother.
On December 9, doctors in pancreatic surgery decided to perform surgery on Zhang Lijun. Before the operation, they routinely performed a comprehensive examination of their body.
But looking at the test results, the doctors sitting in the conference room all showed a look of disbelief.
The next night, the attending doctor found Han Shijun and said to him: "Cancel the operation." ”
Han Shijun, who heard this, was a little confused, why did he suddenly cancel the operation? Isn't the child already born?
The attending doctor was also reluctant to accept this result, but he could only hold back tears to tell the truth.
"Your wife has been diagnosed with pancreatic seal cell carcinoma, which is very rare and very malignant."
When several doctors found that Zhang Lijun's body had developed a seal of cell carcinoma, everyone felt desperate.
In the past decade, they have treated more than 2,000 pancreatic cancer patients. Zhang Lijun is the first pancreatic seal cell carcinoma patient to appear so far.
For a terminal patient like her, surgery has lost its meaning, and the only way left for her is to live day by day.
On the basis of the original, the life expectancy that Zhang Lijun can have has been discounted again.
Han Shijun did not dare to go back to the ward, he did not know how to face his wife. This man who was about to stand up could only hide in the corridor alone and cry.
After calming down outside, he told his wife about the chemotherapy plan: "I will start to lose my hair and buckle (Zhang Lijun's nickname)." But don't be afraid, you can grow later. ”
But when Zhang Lijun learned of this result, she also burst into tears: "Can I still have a chance to grow my hair, do I still have a chance?" ”
In the face of this sudden bad news, both husband and wife thought of the worst outcome. But when facing each other, they have to show the courage to look down on everything.
Zhang Lijun, who was about to start chemotherapy, went through the discharge procedures, and the battlefield she fought against the disease changed from a hospital to a home.
18 video blessings and final travel moments
In the past twenty years, Zhang Lijun has touched two "bad cards" in succession.
One announced that she was about to die, and the other urged her to keep dying.
But no matter how cruel the reality is, she can always smile and comfort herself in the next second.
"It doesn't matter if I can't grow my hair, I can still wear a wig... How nice it was to go home, with big TV to watch, and a warm quilt to drill. ”
January 3, 2016, is the big day of the full moon of Xiaolongbao.
But he was still lying in the incubator of the neonatology department, so Mom and Dad, grandparents and grandparents had to stay at home to celebrate him.
In order to see his son, Han Shijun took Zhang Lijun to the guardianship room. Looking at the little dumplings that were crying and crying, she felt both funny and distressed.
It's great to bring this child into the world, but at the same time I'm sorry I can't see him grow up.
Zhang Lijun, who did not have much time, decided to do something, she could not let Xiaolongbao's memory without the presence of her mother.
When you think about it, recording a video is a good choice.
In fact, she was already very tired at that time, and cancer cells were spreading to every corner of her body.
But she wants Xiaolongbao to feel her emotions and feel her mother's special love.
After putting on a gorgeous red dress and making some images, Zhang Lijun revealed a cheerful side in front of the camera.
This is the first video greeting, which opened on December 3, 2016, which is the first birthday of Xiaolongbao.
By analogy, every year on December 3, Xiaolongbao receives a video blessing from his mother until he turns eighteen.
These 18 video blessings carry Zhang Lijun's maternal love and also record her declining body.
Little by little, the hair on his head fell off, chewing and eating became an extremely painful thing, and small drum bags grew all over his body.
Watching his wife's physical condition deteriorate day by day, Han Shijun, in addition to taking care of her with all his strength, could only vent his emotions through tears.
For this reason, Zhang Lijun often laughed at him. Compared with her husband's sadness, she herself faced reality with a smile.
On January 30, 2016, Xiaolongbao finally returned home.
But his mother was blind in her right eye and could only scrutinize her child with her other eye.
On February 7, 2016, with the arrival of the Lunar New Year, Zhang Lijun completed her last chemotherapy.
She wore a wig when her hair was lost, and in the photos of the family reunion, she smiled brightly with her small dumplings.
Zhang Lijun's life has officially entered the countdown, and at this time she still has one wish left.
That is to go out alone with your husband once.
After the Spring Festival, Han Shijun took his wife out of the country. Before setting off, the family had already considered the most unfortunate outcome.
To this end, Han Shijun jokingly said: "It is possible that there will be no more on the road, but you can rest assured, I will definitely come back." ”
In the last days of life, everyone invariably weaved good memories for Zhang Lijun.
In order to treat her illness and provide her with tourism, the family negotiated and sold the marriage house of the two of them.
The money was about 5 million, and after using up the money, her brother sold his house to support her.
During the trip, the couple celebrated their second anniversary.
In a romantic candlelit dinner, Han Shijun confessed affectionately to his wife. After this anniversary, there are more anniversaries waiting in line.
In August 2016, the couple returned home from a trip.
Three months later, Zhang Lijun died. She didn't have a chance to go to the next anniversary, nor did she have a chance to grow up with Xiaolongbao.
After all, the miracle did not appear.
The strength of life can be beyond imagination, but the fragility of life is also vulnerable.
Husband remarriage: Is it a weak heart or nothing to blame
With the departure of Zhang Lijun, Xiaolongbao and her family have slowly withdrawn from the public eye.
To the onlookers, everyone is just watching a touching story; but their family, as witnesses, is suffering from heart-wrenching pain.
Not disturbing and silently blessing is what bystanders should do, but the rumors that are raging still break the peaceful life of the family.
In early April 2021, some people began to attack Han Shijun on the public platform, saying that he was a scumbag and a selfish and cold beast.
The reason for this is a rumor that Han Shijun is said to have passed on his own child to his cousin, and he himself remarried in 2018 or even 2017.
As soon as this remark came out, most netizens criticized him one after another, and at the same time felt that Zhang Lijun's efforts were not worth it.
"Look! The child you exchanged for your own life is worthless in the eyes of men. ”
The rumors became more and more intense, and in the later period, the Internet almost showed a one-sided trend. In this case, Han Shijun's cousin and lawyer have come out one after another to speak out.
It is reported that Han Shijun does not have any cousins, so the matter of "inheritance" is completely fictitious.
The small dumplings have always been raised by her father and grandparents, and Zhang Lijun's parents have also rushed to take care of them in three days.
The lawyers were authorized to respond to the remarriage: Han Shijun did remarry, and the date of obtaining the license was June 2020, but they did not hold a banquet.
According to people familiar with the matter, when taking wedding photos, Han Shijun's current wife has been holding a small dumpling.
Wedding photos of the three people were posted in the circle of friends, and familiar or unfamiliar people expressed their blessings to them.
Looking at the nonsense speculation and unsatisfactory insults on the Internet, many people familiar with the matter have stepped forward to clarify and prove for Han Shijun.
After several reversals, the online scolding war set off by this rumor finally stopped, and the lives of Xiaolongbao and his family returned to calm.
But the controversy over Han Shijun's remarriage has never stopped.
Nearly 4 years after Zhang Lijun left, Han Shijun married his second wife, and some people felt that this was beyond reproach, and some people felt that people's hearts were cold.
To be fair, when Zhang Lijun was alive, she received meticulous care from her family and the unreserved love of her husband.
In order to fulfill her wishes, the in-laws and the mother-in-law's family have sold a house one after another.
If you want to say the only regret, it may be sorry for the ignorant little dumplings.
But in the face of reality, few people can keep a lifetime for a dead husband or wife.
Whether or not they forget their predecessors, most ordinary people will choose to start a family again.
Even Yuan Shu, who once wrote that "once the sea was shipwrecked as water, except for Wushan Mountain is not a cloud", he finally married a continuation string.
Whether it is beyond reproach or a lackluster heart, only those who have felt it can comment on one or two.
But I believe that in Zhang Lijun's mind, she must also hope that her family can live a happy and peaceful life.
postscript
From the diagnosis of cancer to the unfortunate death, Zhang Lijun's circle of friends has only updated one dynamic. She accepted the fate of the arrangement, but also longed for the miracle to appear.
However, this strong young mother finally left.
Some people say that she is "weak as a woman, but as a mother"; others say that she is not worthy, and only touched herself from beginning to end.
But before the unexpected comes, no one can predict what will happen in the future.
For Zhang Lijun, whether it is to give up the small dumpling and choose surgery, or to give up the operation to choose this small life, it is a decision she made after careful consideration.
Because when cancer finds her, her life is about to ring the bell of the end.
Which choice is more important, which choice is more meaningful, this is her priority at that time.
She was a mother first and foremost, so there was nothing wrong with her choosing to give birth to this child.
I wish Xiaolongbao to thrive in the days to come, and I hope that he will always remember and be grateful to his mother who loves him.