Ms. Tian is a democratic, respectful mother, generally will not force her daughter to do anything, the daughter is also active in thinking and can speak eloquently, but now Ms. Tian is facing a confusion: her daughter is more and more fond of sophistry, no matter what she does, she always has her own reasons, and is unwilling to listen to her parents' suggestions. For example, when the child saw Ms. Tian's good friend, she never called her aunt, and after Ms. Tian told her that she was so rude, she still didn't call, and listed various reasons: I didn't like to call; I didn't like this aunt; I wanted to sleep and so on. Almost all questions, as long as she didn't want to do it, had many reasons. Ms. Tian couldn't help but worry about the child's performance.
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In a democratic, free, reasonable family, it is easier for children to develop the habit of being able to speak eloquently and make up their own minds, and correspondingly, it is easy to become unwilling to listen to the opinions of others and like to act willfully. A good education should allow children to have both opinions and listen to the reasonable opinions of others and make adjustments to their own behavior. Such a child has a strong ability to distinguish between his own and others' opinions, and will not evolve into people who stubbornly insist on their own ideas.
Reasoning is an educational method advocated, but why do many parents feel that it is useless to reason with their children? For children, especially children under the age of 12, their psychological development is characterized by image thinking, and it is difficult to understand many abstract noun concepts, so at this time, the education of children should be based on behavioral training, and it is best not to use the way of telling the truth. For example, when children do not like to be called "aunt", there is no need to say a lot of why it is wrong not to call "aunt", as long as the child's behavior habit of treating others politely is good.
In addition, parents should reflect on whether they have expressed appreciation for their children's sophistry at some point. For example, sometimes, after the child 's sophistry', the parents will say: "Your little mouth is still quite able to speak!" "You still have an idea!" Other parents will pretend to be angry and say to their children, "Don't argue!" "But there is an appreciation for the child in the heart. This potential appreciation is more pleasurable to the child than direct praise, so he knows that refuting the parents' suggestions can actually win the parents' favor, so the habit of not listening to the parents' suggestions is formed.
In addition, parents should also pay attention to the fact that although in most cases, the parents' requirements and practices are correct, they cannot ignore the child's attitude and opinions. It is an era of pluralism, and education is becoming more difficult. But in the culture that the mainland has formed over the years, children are always expected to be obedient. But today's children have their own thoughts, no longer obey their parents, and sometimes even do it. In the face of this situation, parents should keep pace with the times, change their concepts, and grow up with their children. The times have progressed, and we cannot regard all the things we are not accustomed to as "great rebellion." It is necessary to guide the child correctly, learn the communication skills with the child, and build a good relationship, rather than simply blaming and scolding.
Parents should always encourage their children to speak their minds and not to deprive them of the right to express themselves on the grounds that "children don't know anything". If the child is not respected for a long time, he will become unconfident and lose the creativity he deserves; or he will become very rebellious, will have to argue about everything, and the relationship with his parents will deteriorate. Parents should leave a certain free choice space for him in the advice of the child, so that the child feels that it is happy to cooperate with the parents' suggestions, physically and mentally happy, so that his enthusiasm for cooperation will increase.