Although life was hard in childhood, it was also much happier. Asked what heartache memories I had had, carefully searched the corners of my heart, and in the memories that seemed to be far away, I finally found some heartbreaks.
01 The family eats a bowl of green vegetables
That year, that day, it was very hot, I came home from school, Grandma said, there is only one bowl of vegetables, you guys eat it, leave a little more for your mother to send.
I was the eldest of the sisters in the family, looking at the dishes in front of me, and looking at the younger siblings who were gathered around to prepare for dinner, I didn't know how to start.
A bowl of dishes, a thin soup soup, five people to eat? We had three small children, and Grandma and Mom. At that time, Dad worked outside and often ate out.
Grandma said that there are no vegetables in the garden now, so you should eat less and leave something for your mother.
During the hottest season of summer, my mother was still busy in the field. I poured a little soup into the rice and quickly finished eating the rice in my bowl.
That bowl of dishes that day was engraved in the depths of my memory.
At that time, everyone was struggling on the road and accepting the torments of real life, whether adults or children.
02 The first time to eat a large bowl of white rice
Shortly after school, I had lunch at school. One day, I arrived at the canteen a little late, and the canteen master said that there was only rice, no dishes.
I couldn't, I couldn't help but eat, I hit the rice, looked at the full bowl of rice, and began to eat.
At home, although sometimes there are not many dishes, everyone will eat them, but there has never been a time when there is no dish like now.
When I first ate the big white rice, I felt a little unaccustomed, and when I ate it, I found that it was good to eat alone; after eating, I even thought that just eating was really delicious.
Originally, I didn't eat much, but then when I got home, the adults asked what I had eaten today, and I told them what I had eaten at noon
At that time, the adults were not calm.
They talked about it for a while. To my family, it was as if I hadn't eaten vegetables, which was a big deal.
Here, I remembered the history of eating only one bowl of rice.
In fact, in that era, life was a bit monotonous, and occasionally there was no vegetable at a meal, and there was nothing. However, from the discussion of adults, I know that there is no dish to eat, it is a little bitter, and I also know that my parents care for themselves.
03 Grandma's hand hurts
In memory, Grandma's one finger has been sore.
Grandma said, how does it hurt? Not red, not swollen, not injured, just painful, I really don't know what's going on.
Grandma held up a finger of herself, like a painting frozen in my mind.
At that time, everyone was busy, busy with life. Grandma was also one of the busiest.
Busy is one reason, the reason why Grandma's hand has not been treated is that Grandma has always said that her hand hurts, but she can bear it, and it has not changed; in addition, the family really does not have money to see Grandma. Every penny in the family is spent on the blade of the knife.
Like I'm sick with a fever, that's a must see. Like Grandma, a disease that has not changed for several years, naturally does not need to be seen.
I remember that until I grew up, I didn't know how many years my grandmother's hand hurt, and I didn't go to the hospital.
Grandma once told me that when I grew up and went to work in the city, I would take her to a big hospital.
I was still studying, and Grandma was gone forever.
Without money, Grandma's pain continued until the end of her life.
If Grandma is still alive, I will definitely let her wander around, let her do nothing, and let her be solved as soon as possible if she is not uncomfortable.
Unfortunately, this is only if. Everything is irretrievable, and everything will not be repeated.
04 Grandma's sweater
I remember my grandmother having a sweater with a very bright color, but the newness and quality of the sweater were very different from the thickness of this color.
The sweater is red and green, and it is very eye-catching to wear on the body. It's just that Grandma has always been very thin, so it seems that what she wears, there is no sense of violation.
At that time, there were very few people with sweaters. This sweater on my grandmother's body often attracted my attention.
The sweater is so bright, but it's so old, and there's still a ragged place.
I looked at Grandma's fashion-like dress and often wondered, where did Grandma get such a sweater? It is such a relict independence.
Grandma passed away many years ago, thinking of that sweater, I suddenly had this idea, maybe Grandma's worn-out sweater, yes
Very early in the morning, my grandfather bought it for her on a certain day out.
Otherwise, how did Grandma keep wearing it? Even though it's too worn to be true.
05 Go to the cowshed to pick tender peanuts that no one wants
In the depths of my memory, when I was young, I once took my sister to the place where the cows were fed by the team and picked tender peanuts once.
Every year, after all the peanuts are removed, the team will send unwanted peanut vines to the cowshed to feed the cows.
One year, my mother asked me to carry a small bamboo basket and take my sister to the cowshed to pick tender peanuts that adults did not want. Mom said that there were some tender peanuts on those peanut vines that could be eaten.
So I took my sister with me.
It was the only time in my life that I took my sister to the cowshed to pick peanuts. But this time, I was deeply impressed.
Because my sister and I were humiliated.
My sister and I were just standing in front of a large pile of peanut vines outside the cowshed, slowly turning over. We had only picked a few small peanuts, and a loud voice came to our ears.
What are you doing? Come on people say.
We pick tender peanuts. I replied.
Who made you come? Come like a steward.
I looked at him, but he was just a young man in the team who had not studied for a long time. But the disdain and mockery in his eyes were dangling on his face.
I said, we picked things we didn't want.
The young man looked at us with disdain and left. He was just passing by and saw my sister and I standing there looking for tender peanuts and laughing at us.
Someone said that my sister and I did not want to pick it, so we quickly returned home.
Listening to his parents, this young man did not have a very good personality, just like his parents. If you don't pick it, you don't pick it, and there's nothing.
However, that loud rebuke and disdainful look left an indelible impression on my young heart at that time.
Many years have passed, and everything that once happened in my heart is as if it had happened not long ago.
Because of inadequacy, there are those things; because the life in the struggle is ridiculed, there is a little scar in the heart.
Understand yourself, understand your family, and understand the person who makes the harsh voice. Everything is the bubble stirred up by that era.
The past, after all, is the past.
No matter how sad, no matter how helpless, no matter how painful, everything is over.
Time flies, everything is moving forward, and our lives have already changed dramatically.
For the strong, for the fearless, for the sunshine, for the dream, let us be like the general who shoots the eagle, "looking back at the eagle shooting place", it is already "a thousand miles of twilight clouds", everything is like a cloud of smoke, everything will not make us stop, everything will only make us more powerful.